Spring Cleaning

Deuteronomy 8:2, “You shall remember all the way which the Lord your God has led you in the wilderness these forty years, that He might humble you, testing you, to know what is in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not.”

I have used the same scripture for two consecutive post because I can’t get all its implications out of my mind.

Over the weekend I engaged in the American tradition of spring cleaning. For the most part the spring cleaning has been done outside in the yard or at the barn. But Sunday was a day of tackling a very large pile of papers on my desk that have been waiting for filing, fixing, or some fairy to come along and make disappear. As I went through each paper one by one I found tax documents that need to be filed, I found a 3 year old letter from my son. I even found a copy of my marriage license. But by and large the papers were bills, notices, and reminders of how far past points of my life had deteriorated. How quickly we can forget… how quickly I forget!

I grabbed a red folder. It was full of bills that were once waiting on money so they could be paid. In the trash it went. Every item that I once thought would never be paid is paid. I found notice after notice on my property… all in the trash because there are no more outstanding issues. I found legal threats and innuendos… all satisfied. How shameful that I do not rejoice daily that the mail that now comes to the house is expected. How joyful an experience to throw all that mail which came unexpectedly carrying stress and frustration with it found a new home rotting in some landfill where it belongs?

Why am I so focused on the wilderness, and fail to see God right here with me. Why did I need such a poignant reminder to remember all the way in which He has led me… these eleven years. Why is the pain of yesterday so far removed by the complacency of today?

God does not need to “test” my heart. He knows my heart. In the end I am so appreciative of Him using everything possible to conform my heart to one like Christ’. Humbled? I certainly was humbled by the experience. And I most certainly needed the reminder of His leading.

Mostly I am thankful for a different time, a better season of my life. I am energized by the progress and, wrongly wish for more. Wrongfully because I am here to walk each step with God. It is His presence, not His relief that is worth keeping. To be undistracted by storms or blessing, but to be wholly focused on Him and His will… that is what I am being reminded of. Compliancy’s stare belongs on the problems, adoration, joy, enjoyment, vision, excitement, love… these belong focused on God… that He is with us.

Humble circumstances in exchange for seeing God. Humility in exchange for creature comforts. I would say all worth it. Though my circumstances are not humble to anyone except me, and though most of the time only God sees my humility.

So Spring Cleaning not only brought a new look to my desk, a fresh look to my property, but is dusted off the self of my emotions and forgotten pains. It reminded me of how God has led me.