Space Heater

Romans 7:14-20, “For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin. For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good. So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me.”

Jim Spivey wrote a post the other day that has played in my mind since reading it. He titled it “Be a Thermostat.” It was in reference to not being merely a thermometer to which he offered this quote. “The thermometer merely registering the temperature of its surroundings; the thermostat changing the temperature to what it desires.”

My initial self-assessment as to whether I am more thermometer or thermostat is that I am neither. I am the space heater stuck on high in the middle of the summer time, neither registering nor changing my surroundings to something more desirable. I, like Paul in the scripture above, agree with God. I would love to be permanently reflecting Christ and part of constantly adjusting others and myself into the temperature of the kingdom, but here lately my very weak flesh is ruling the day and my attitude.

Let’s face it. Outside of the truth, but often religious answer, we need first and foremost God, and to be in relationship with Him. But after that, what is the second (more often primary) need? I believe that answer for what we need second most is to survive. Even Christ understood this after 40 days of fasting. It was time to survive or die. He had to break the fast.

And so here I am, working in a commission only job. I don’t have an offering plate to pass. I don’t have a salary that I can count on. I have to kill to eat, or both I and my family suffer the proverbial hunger pains. No big deal right? After all the birds don’t have to worry about eating because our Father feeds them even without work.

But it is a big deal when the commission does not materialize. It is a big deal because my body… my flesh begins a complete sub-conscious (or is it unconscious) reaction. Upon the first sign of shortage all the faith and trust in God that I can mustard plus prescription medicine does not stop my blood pressure from rising. The heat in my skin is uncontrollable. The shortness of breath is inexplicable. And the irritability… or the irritability is unavoidable. The shortfall is literally killing me.  It is the number one cause of heart attacks and strokes and it is very much alive in me during these times… It is the American demon… it is stress.

Does God intend to kill me with stress? May it never be.

Does God intend to alleviate the stress? No amount of prayer has done it to this point, but I still have faith this is so.

My flesh is weak, and as much as I love Christ, as much as I want to be like Him, as much as I agree with the Law my flesh still wins from time to time and stress induced irritability becomes the space heater running wild on the hottest of summer days.

And even still this is no excuse. Reality is that God very much intends for me to not be a space heater or even a thermometer. He is transitioning me to a thermostat, and using the same thing He has used for the past 11 years to get me there. He is using finances.

Before now, finances were used for me to turn inward and work on myself, confront those things about me that are ungodly. Now the focus is to turn outward, to be that reflection of Christ I talk about more than I am. Spiritual thermostats adjust the temperature with brotherly kindness and love. And as rotten as I can feel physically and emotionally, I know clearly in my spirit that this is where He is bringing me.

Do you feel the stress in your life? What is God using it for in you?