Remembering Rubbish

Philippians 3:8, “More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ.

As I was mowing my yard on Saturday the song "All I Need" by Kevin Prosch began to play through the headset of my iPhone. I cannot find it in video format from the internet anywhere but here are the lyrics.

I dreamed of a town that's built for souls
Lots of silver streets of gold
And there are no homeless there
For everyone that's there has a home

There will be justice in this land
Those valleys and rocks have not yet heard
And the cry of the poor will cease
For everyone is rich
We have You

And the floods the clear clean floods
That gushes from that throne of gold
And the water of life it's free to drink
And God it's worth the waiting for

You're all I need to get by
You're all I need to get by

You change my heart
This heart of stone
Become the anger of my thoughts
And when the pain won't go away
I feel Your presence near
You touch my soul
As the painter's brush consumes his dreams
I made my choice to follow You
For me to love yes this is Christ
And for me to die this is my gain
I live by faith in the Son of God
Oh but there are times when I have my doubts
I do not regret the things I've lost
For compared to You what have I lost

Lover of my soul
Creator of a clean heart
Oh lover of my soul
Look what You've done for me
Oh the recklessness of Your mercy
Oh the recklessness of Your mercy God

It was the one little line “For compared to You what have I lost…” that really threw me into deep reflection. I looked honestly into my heart and soul and wondered in prayer if I truly believed that. Do I believe that everything in that past that is lost, innocence, wealth, friendships… are nothing compared to the surpassing value of knowing Christ?

Do my current pursuits reflect Christ as greater than everything this world has to offer? Or do they show something lost in the past that I look back on and want to see again?

Certainly I have been wealthy, and I have been broke and wealthy is much much more comfortable. But how does that wealth compare to my relationship to Christ today?

Honestly, I would not change a thing if it meant to know Him less.

Do I still seek riches? Yes I do.

Do I still allow the other losses to cloud my thinking, shape my character, get between God and me? Yes I do.

But as I go forward I look back. Not to see what I’ve lost and complain, but to see how silly it was to worry about so many things in comparison to living relationship with Christ that I have today.

Perhaps one day I will learn that pursuing anything other than Him is pointless. Perhaps one day my reaction will always be love. But until then, like Kevin Prosch I am wholly dependent upon the Lover of My Soul to continue in His reckless mercy.