Mad As Hell

Ephesians 4: 26, “Be angry, and yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger,”

For the past several weeks I have been angry at everyone and everything. Angry with co-workers, angry with fellow drivers, angry with wait staff, helpers, detractors, kids, parents, you name it. I have inexplicably been mad at all of humanity with special attention on those who like to drive below the speed limit in the left hand lane.

For me I know some of it is physiological, and my annual physical cannot come soon enough. Certainly I can feel my thyroid medicine is off, and perhaps all the others are as well. But aren't we supposed to overcome anger. Shouldn't we have this mysterious harmony with mankind simply because we gave our lives to Christ? Isn't peace, patience, and understanding supposed to overtake us?

I was at breakfast with some friends a couple weeks ago and I shared with them my overactive irritability. Jim said he learned to overcome anger when he learned to embrace and live in the fear?

What? Now I’m pissed at Jim. Didn't he hear me say I was angry… not fearful?

My wife certainly is ready for a return of the “sweet Jeff.” And somehow she knows that I am really not some vicious dog, but more of a whinny tittie baby.

Snap out of it, I tell myself.

But that doesn't work. I am mad as hell. Now I know it is God bringing, or at least allowing this “anger response” to come to the surface. And finally this morning I had a brief moment where He too was not an object of it, and here is what He showed me.

He showed me that both Jim and my wife were right.

Have you ever had a rescue dog? They have be very neurotic. We have a little rescue Chihuahua that will bark at me like I am going to kill it. Is it mad at me? Certainly not, but for some reason it is afraid of me. They say because a man abused it.

That’s me. Not angry because of abuse per se. But this whinny tittie baby in my corner, wanting to be left alone, but when someone interferes with my peaceful corner, what do I do? An angry response to an irrational fear.

Get out of my way you idiot, I say to the driver… but it is really me being afraid I won’t get home in a reasonable amount of time. Or afraid I will be late.

You deserve to be fired, I think of my co-worker… but it is really a fear of not making money and having to struggle to pay my bills.

What are you thinking, I ask my children… but it is really a fear that they will find themselves later in life unable to take care of themselves, while I live in the reality I cannot take care of them myself.

Anger, irritability is part of life and a body that can respond very negatively to chemical changes, weather changes, and just change in general. But just because we are angry there is no need to sin. For me I am going to explore this fear thing further in hopes of overcoming anger in my soul, in hopes of being more like Christ. What will you do with your anger?