Do You Know I Love You?

Deuteronomy 7:13, “He (God) will love you and bless you and multiply you…”

Several times in my lifetime I have had a spiritual crisis of trying to understand or grasp the love that God has for me. In one of these crises God taught me that He does love me in and of myself, completely outside of anything I can, can’t, won’t or will do. And yet when I think of this love relationship that I as a Christian am supposed to have with God, and that He is supposed to have with me; I most often only consider my own heart and do I truly love Him. I think more often of Christ asking Peter if he loves Him than I do of Deuteronomy or even John 3:16 and Him loving us.

As a result, quit often in my prayers to Him I will be filled with this love of God, and I will ask Him, “Do You know that I love You?

Most often His response in my spirit is, “I know you do.”

And so while driving home the other day I was just filled with the love of God and I asked, “Do You know that I love You?” And yet this time His response was different.

He said, “I know you do… Do you know that I love you?”

Honestly it makes me cry now, as it made me cry then. Because even though His love surrounds me, even fills me at time, I cannot truthfully say that I "know" God’s love. I do not know or understand the fullness of His love. I do not see into His heart like He sees into mine. And I certainly do not understand God’s love. Even at this point in my life my understanding of God’s love seems so objective. I yearn for a more subjective understanding.

I can describe this like knowing Christ. So many Christians appear to live only knowing about Jesus, having never encountering Him in relationship. That is where I am with God’s love. I know that He loves me, I can explain some things as His love for me, but I truly don’t live in the full awareness of it.

God asks, “Do you know I love you.”

I reply, “I know You like me.”

Father help me to truly, subjectively not only know Your love, but to live in it.

Having written this yesterday my friend Aaron unknowingly shared this poem and video below with me. 

The Thorn 

by

Martha Snell Nicholson

I stood, a mendicant of God, before His royal throne

and begged Him for one priceless gift, which I could call my own.

I took the gift from out His hand, but as I would depart I cried,

'But Lord, this is a thorn and it has pierced my heart.

This is a strange and hurtful gift which Thou hast given me.'

He said, 'My child, I give good gifts. I gave My best to thee.'

I took it home. And though at first the cruel thorn hurt sore,

as long years passed I learned at last to love it more and more.

I learned He never gives a thorn without this added grace:

He takes the thorn to pin aside the veil which hides His face.