What is Love?

1 John 4:8, “The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.”

In my last blog I wrote a very heart felt statement of, “Honestly it makes me cry now, as it made me cry then. Because even though His love surrounds me, even fills me at time, I cannot truthfully say that I "know" God’s love. I do not know or understand the fullness of His love. I do not see into His heart like He sees into mine. And I certainly do not understand God’s love. Even at this point in my life my understanding of God’s love seems so objective. I yearn for a more subjective understanding.” Even today having meditated on God’s love for several days I continue to stand by that statement though all the while surrounded, even bathed in God’s love though consciously unaware most, if not all, of the time. And so perhaps this was a cry of ‘God make me conscious of Your love, help me understand Your love, or even help me be an example of it.”

Perhaps it was that very paragraph that trigger in my friend Jim Spivey the need to text me, “Do you KNOW that God Loves you? If not, HE REALLY DOES… and so do I.” Now of course I know God loves me, but sometimes I don’t “KNOW” that He loves me, because in the moment that “love” can feel sadomasochistic. But what really triggered me about Jim's statement was not does God love me, but the part where he said, “and so do I.” That is the part that I wanted to call bullshit on. I thought liar not because he doesn't actually love me, but because I have a close enough relationship to him and I see how he “treats” others differently... not that he has ever treated me poorly because he has not.

Stay with me on this please… Jim obviously loves his wife and children. If you know Jim for any length of time then you also know his friend Aaron… if Jim were to say he loves Aaron I could totally agree with him. And it is here, in this observation, in this thought process that God revealed something to me. That truth is that love is not fair. Do you hear me? LOVE IS NOT FAIR. Love does not, nor ever will give equal treatment to all individuals. I was reminded of the Protocol Son. I was reminded of Peter’s relationship to Christ compared to the other disciples, and I can go on and on where fairness was never a standard or measure of love. But how can this be if God loves equally? Why are the expressions of that love so different? Why was I born a white male in America in the twentieth century and not Somalia yesterday?

The truth as God explained to me lies in eternity. Love does what is best for the long term… namely providing what the soul needs to be maximized in the character and love of God long after removed from the confines and confinement of the earth.

Still being unaware of what God is trying to teach me about love Jim continued to text me over the next several days. The last text came on Saturday. It said, “You are adored, way more than you KNOW. Realize that this is SO, and that nothing can make it GROW, and absolutely nothing can make it GO!!” Up to this very point my thoughts of Jim’s texts were that he does like me, and he is trying to “fix” my self-image of love. But for some reason, this text broke through. The break through had more to do with the number of affirmations than the words of this one, I thought how audacious is God’s love. And with that I replied, “J”.

The next day I looked forward to what Jim would text me, and nothing came. My thought was, “see he was trying to fix me out of his own ability, it was not a true expression of love because he ran out of energy to do it.” And then the Holy Spirit spoke as clearly as I am typing. “Those were my expressions of love, and in Jim obeying Me he shared in My love for you.” Somehow, had there been another text it would have actually been Jim’s liking of me, and not God’s love of me. And in all of this, beyond the fact that love is not fair, His love is also so inseparable from obedience. Jim obeyed, and in that obedience I finally awoke to something new with God’s love. Oh I have experienced it thousands of times, but have remained largely unconscious to it.

I could stop here, but why because God did not stop here.

In His perfect murmuration I was driving home yesterday, and became thirsty. What popped in my mind was to stop at the Exxon station. I NEVER stop at an Exxon station. Walking in there was a homeless black man. He had a rolling suitcase of all things, and a baseball cap with 3 different kinds of skoal in it and a pack of menthol cigarettes in it. He was sitting on the suitcase blocking one of the doors to the convenient store part of the station, and had skoal all over his mouth. On top of that he was talking to himself and flailing his arms about. Inside the store the two female workers were complaining about him. I told them he is obviously mentally ill. To that they showed no compassion, and told me they had called the police.

I was filled with compassion. After my purchase I walked outside to the man and said this, “Unless you are hungry and would like a bologna sandwich and a warm place to sleep tonight I would probably go ahead and move on. The ladies inside have called the police.” Immediately he jumped up and left.

No big deal right?

Until the Holy Spirit said, “See you do know how to show My love.”

My thirst, my stop, the man, the compassion, the advice… all an expression of God’s love to a homeless man. Awesome!

And so I thought, “Which is better, to give God’s love or to receive God’s love?” The answer is clearly both. 

And to Jim... I do get your last message. KNOW God's love, so that I can GROW in it, and then GO show it to others.