Significance & Acceptance

Luke 16:15, “And He said to them, “You are those who justify yourselves in the sight of men, but God knows your hearts; for that which is highly esteemed among men is detestable in the sight of God.”

I first heard this concept of significance and acceptance from Dusty Kemp who incorporated into a message or two of how all of mankind universally seeks significance and acceptance. Perhaps he got this idea from Maslow who placed “esteem” between “love & belonging” and “self-actualization.” Regardless of its source I think any self-reflecting individual can agree that we all do want to be accepted and valued by others. We desire to be respected and to be considered significant, if not by the world, at least our family and friend groups.

Yet as natural as the desire of significance and acceptance comes, it is according to Christ not something originated with God in heaven. “That which is highly esteemed among men is detestable in the sight of God.” This is not to say that we should be characters of low self-esteem, but perhaps only that our “self-esteem” should come from our relationship to God, and not some ability to gain acceptance among men.

For me, I constantly struggle with suppressing esteem as a motivation. And God is constantly at work not allowing esteem motivated actions to yield the praises of men. In fact let me even say that there is false esteem which seeks man’s acceptance, and though the scripture does not say it, there are actions which God esteems, namely Christ at work in us.

I compete at work for little pieces of plastic recognizing most sales. Do I do it so that I can have a reminder of God’s faithfulness and blessings? No. I do it so that the people within the organization will know I am valuable to the company, and that they should esteem me in my dealings with them.

Sometimes my soul is lulled to sleep into thinking that I am beyond this very human motivation. Because I have become very comfortable as a loner, lost in my introverted mind and thoughts I lose my awareness that family, friends, co-workers, even strangers continue pull on the false esteem within.

Just the other day I was sharing with my dad an entrepreneurial adventure I am trying to embark on. It met with his immediate disapproval and criticism. And that criticism incited the anger within me. In fact, my first thought was laced with profanity and the very clear “I will show him.”

Why? Why was I mad? Why did I want to show him?

I did because my human nature was to seek significance and acceptance from him.

But I did not react. I did not speak, but miraculously became very aware in the moment. And my reply was, “That hurt my feelings that you didn’t think I was capable.”

Reality is his acceptance has nothing to do with my obedience to God. It has nothing to do with my reliance on God. Because of Christ I am accepted. Because of Christ in me I am significant. Selling the most at work is God’s blessing. The venture coming together is God’s walk with me in to a new chapter of challenges and dying to self.

Nearly 22,000 people have read my writings at this point. It kills me that there aren’t more comments, more accolades. But God has a different plan, and that plan is to crush the need to be esteemed among men.

I wrote a friend the other day, and to be frank it was 100% God, and it was good. I wanted, I even expected him to write me back with praises of how dead on I was. But instead he published my words as coming from an anonymous source. What a magnificent sign of significance and acceptance from GOD! What a magnificent reminder that I do not need, though I still want, the esteem of men.

Who are you trying to impress? Who are you trying to please?