The Cross of Christ

Matthew 16:24, "... if anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me."

Continuing our in depth look at The Normal Christian Life by Watchman Nee we come to "The Cross of Christ." That place where we deal with the nature of sin. Where the habitual return to it is addressed.

Nee points out that, "There is peace with God, but there is no peace with myself. There is in fact, civil war in my own heart."

Civil war in my heart... that is a concept I can relate to. As Nee rightfully acknowledges, "The blood can wash away my sins, but cannot wash away my 'old man.'" This is because we did not become sinners by our actions, "but because of what Adam has done and become."

"At the beginning of our Christian life, we are concerned with our doing, not with our being."

Can I stop here for a moment? I am 45 years old. I was saved 30 years ago. Until recently all I have been concerned with is doing. I have prayed for the sick and seen them healed. I have traveled north, central, and south America for Him... doing. In 2011, I just now am concerning myself with "BEING." So I guess by Nee's definition the first 30years of my life with Christ was the beginning.


Nee continues, "we are distressed rather by what we have done than by what we are. We think that if only we could rectify certain things we should be good Christians, and we set out therefore to change our actions. But the result is not what we expected. We discover our dismay that it is something more than just a case of trouble on the outside - that there is in fact more serious trouble on the inside... we try to be humble, but there is something in our very being that refuses to be humble. We try to be loving, but inside we feel most unloving... The we come to the Lord and say, 'Lord, I see it now! Not only what I have done is wrong; I am wrong.'"

We have to come to the place where we understand "I am wrong." Oh, not some admitting to being wrong in the moment. There is a place with Christ where you know everything about you is wrong. A place where He will stand and allow you to compare yourself to Him; and with that comes a subjective understanding that "I am wrong." Everything about me is wrong when compared to Christ. Nee does not go into this, but this is the prayer. That we could see ourselves compared to Christ. This image as compare to Him is our true self. This discovery of true self allows God to continue in His work with us.

The chapter continues with Nee's discussion of how we were born with the nature of sin, born from Adam. How Christ as the last Adam crucified that nature of Adam on the cross. That "the cross is thus the mighty act of God which translates us from Adam to Christ."

It doesn't come out in this chapter, but the end effect is that the cross becomes an ongoing aspect of life. Jesus said, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me." The deliverance of the cross on the nature of sin is that we "take it up." Not that we hang from it, not that we commit spiritual suicide, but that we carry it in our soul. It's weight will come to bear on our nature and deliver us over time.

Being Beautiful Really Sux

John 3:16, "For God so loved (you)..."

I post often about a once a week group I attend called Tomball Love Machine. The meeting is a total of 2 hours long and people arrive as they can. It is interesting on a lot of levels, not just spiritual. I have notice that the larger the attendance, the bigger the group dynamics. And the bigger the group dynamics the longer it takes for all the personalities to settle and God to come through. So for that reason I am thankful that the meeting has so much time allotted to it.

Here I say all of this thinking it is everyone else's personalities that are getting in the way, but then I realize it is my personality -- that I am seeing as what I am seeing really is the log in my eye thinking it's a splinter in theirs. So with that realization and confession out of the way, I will say that it took me nearly the whole meeting to get into the place where I clearly saw God moving.

For me it began with a mother tearfully expressing that she needs to come to a place where she appreciates herself. This stems from the fact that she has two children with two completely different personalities. One is very loving, affectionate and doting on mom. The other I believe can be described as indifferent. So mom has a hard time understanding the indifferent child. She does not "appreciate" the difference therefore has discovered that she does not "appreciate" herself, and that this lack of self appreciation prevents or hinder her appreciating her daughter. This confession prompted someone else to open up and declare how difficult it is to love yourself. Which prompted another mother to say, "What? Am I just supposed to ask God to show me why He loves me?"

This is a common occurrence in Christianity and the world for that matter. People do not "love themselves" or understand how or why God loves them. I not only see it all the time, I have experienced it to the point of despair these people are experiencing it.

But the result in our group was that one of the men there read to last mom a beautiful understanding of her pain. Then proceeded to sing her a song. It was an absolute beautiful expression of God's love for her. In fact it was an undeniable expression of God's love for her. The whole room had teary eyes and people commented how beautiful her heart was and the experience she opened.

Sobbing she replied, "being beautiful sux."

How important is it for us to understand God loves us? And not only that He loves us, but why He loves us. We need to experience and understand that for a healthy life. When we don't understand how and why God loves us, then we constantly look outside ourselves for that love. We look to spouses, children, parents, pastors, friends, anything and anyone to show us the love we crave and all of those "people" are always going to let us down. When they don't let us down it is only because Christ loved us through them in that moment.

Probably even more important than "knowing" how and why God loves us, we need to experience it. The sobbing mom declaring being beautiful sux was in that experience. In that moment she was experiencing the love of God. Being beautiful sux, because when God is loving you all the excuses fall away. All the pretense falls away. When God shows you that you are beautiful, you realize everything you thought you were is ugly.

We are loved because we are God's children. We are loved because we are each individual, unique, priceless vessels designed to be filled with Christ. I asked the sobbing mom, why do you love your daughter? Her reply was, I don't know. Truth is she loves her daughter because she is her daughter, and God love us simply because we are His children. Nothing more, nothing less.