Love then...

John 14:12, “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the work that I do, he will do also; and greater works than these he will do; because I go to the Father.”

My friend Jim Spivey wrote in his blog that he is entering his third half of life, and perhaps the “third half of life” is the place where we shake right and wrong for God’s way. Or where dualism and dichotomy give way to the “third option.” Perhaps the first half of life is us trying to do things our way; the second half being us “trying” to do things God’s way with all those efforts are still contaminated with self, and the third half being that place where we have surrendered all control to allow God to do with us as He pleases. And if God is to do with us as He pleases the undoubtedly that is to fulfill Christ’ new commandment of loving one another as He has loved us. Perhaps the third half of life is walking in the discovery of His love.

It is here, in this place of discovered (that is a VERY intentional word “discovered.”) love that I personally believe the power of God comes to a minister to be a regular part of Christ’ ministry through them. We can taste this power before love, and in the discovery process; but I believe there is a place after discovered love that the power of God is to be walked in. What joy it must bring to not only experience Christ love, but to walk in it with His power effecting the world as we go. 

I think this is what T Austin-Sparks was writing about this when he said, “The thing which we all feel the need of, perhaps more than anything else, the thing which the church of God needs more than anything else: power. The declaration is made by the Lord Himself, ‘Ye shall receive power when the Holy Spirit is come upon you... by My Spirit, saith the Lord of Hosts.’ If, as is so much the case, we are conscious of powerlessness, of our weakness, and of the weakness of the people of God generally, of the church in this world, it is useless to bemoan the weakness and deplore the lack of power; the need is to inquire why it is, to discover the causes, the reasons, the meaning, for evidently it is not the Lord’s will. It's contrary to His own declared intention for His people.”

Having grown up in the full gospel, charismatic, evangelical side of Christianity I am very familiar with Christians pursuing the power and gifts of God. Sadly, I am equally familiar with what could easily be characterized as a lack of love within those same congregations. If, as T Austin-Sparks suggest, we "inquire why" there is no power will; we find the absence of love? I think this is why Paul when talking about love begins with, “If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy going and clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.” Do we have the order of our Christian pursuits backwards?

Love needs to come first… then the gifts. Perhaps this lack of love was what Jesus was referencing in Matthew 7 when He said, “Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me…” “Love” is not the answer… to love as Christ loved is. We can concoct all manner and notion of what “love” is, but to know Christ’ love we must be in relationship to Him. Then… after love… I think there is a fullness of Christ. After love I believe there are the “greater works” Christ speaks of. We ask, and nothing happens. Have we asked without first knowing Christ’s love? Are we the embodiment of what James wrote when he said in Chapter 4, “You ask and do not receive, because you ask with the wrong motives, so that you may spend it on you pleasures.” All the while knowing that love… Christ’ love… “does not seek its own.”

Selah

Materialism, Gifts, REDEMPTION

2 Corinthians 5:16, “Therefore from now on we recognize no one according to the flesh…”

Finally it feels that the Holy Spirit is moving inside me to focus on the third of these three words that have been my focus for weeks. Individually any of the words could be a lesson within themselves for any Christian at any level, but for me they are working collectively to teach me brother kindness as depicted in 2 Peter 1. Also knowing that the brotherly kindness Peter spoke of leads to unconditional love; something that I found in short supply within my soul, and what does exist is there for a limited few.

But what is redemption? We know as Christians that it means to be forgiven of sins. It means to be liberated from the eternal consequence of sin, namely spiritual death and its punishment of hell. But for me at this moment the focus of redemption is not the release of debt, or the restoration of relationship it represents but rather the universal and pure nature of it that extends to anyone and everyone who will believe on Jesus the Christ. Redemption as paid for by Christ is blind like justice; it is without prejudice or bias. In fact redemption is perhaps only concerned with the soul of mankind, and completely unconcerned with whatever the flesh can create sinful or otherwise.

As such there is a place, if we are to ultimately walk in agape unconditional love that we to have to view others, to view everyone with redemptive colored glasses, not recognizing one another according to some outwardly trait, or as Paul calls it, “according to the flesh.” And if we cannot see other from the spirit, then at least we (I) need to be constrained by the love of God in our (my) judgments. Of this thought process and scripture T. Austin Sparks writes, “The first and primary thing is the absolute necessity for knowing one another after the Spirit. ‘The love of Christ constrains us; because we thus judge, that one died for all (universality), therefore all died; and He died for all, that they which live should no longer live unto themselves, but unto Him’; ‘Henceforth know we no man after the flesh.’ That means that as far as we can see, we have not made what we are by nature the final basis of our relationships, of our expectations, of our judgments, of our appraisals, of our valuations. It does not mean that we are oblivious of one another’s human nature. It does not mean that what we are in the flesh never strikes us; that we are to be totally insensible to the defects of one another’s nature. No! We shall always be sensitive. It is probably true that the more spiritual we are, the more sensitive we become to what we are by nature and to what others are by nature…”

And as we are in the world, trying desperately to not be of the world, we are constrained by the love of God while heading the direction of viewing and recognizing others by the spirit, and not just the outside.

I do not know what practical experience the Holy Spirit has in store for me as He ingrains this lesson of redemption onto my soul, but I do know that with materialism He has said to me my fist is clinching things that do not matter. Giving unclenches the fist that grabs onto anything but God. Now redemption and it universality is opening up to help me “stop evaluating others from a human point of view” so that I may give to them in brotherly kindness, and eventually love as Christ loved. If this were not enough Henri Nouwen murmurates these thoughts with, “Jesus is given to the world. (those destine for redemption) He was chosen, blessed, and broken to be given.  Jesus' life and death were a life and death for others.  The Beloved Son of God, chosen from all eternity, was broken on the cross so that this one life could multiply and become food for people of all places and all times.

As God's beloved children we have to believe that our little lives, when lived as God's chosen and blessed children, are broken to be given to others.  We too have to become bread for the world.  When we live our brokenness under the blessing, our lives will continue to bear fruit from generation to generation...”

I look forward to the lessons as I know it leads to better understanding of godly brotherly kindness and love. 

Forgiven Much = Love Much

Luke 7:47, “For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.”

I think this is a pretty simple truth, and paradoxically the reason God is not completely repulsed by mankind. He knows that the more of His forgiveness we taste, the more we love Him.

Take this same thought another direction and those who realize and understand just how much of their past, present, and ongoing sin has, is, and will be forgiven… those folks love God much. Perhaps this is why Paul set the world on fire, while enduring fire for Christ. Perhaps Paul’s love for Jesus was fueled in this understanding of forgiveness, and that is why he wrote to Timothy, “It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all.”

Paul, the founder of the church for gentiles, beaten, shipwrecked, snake bit for Jesus is the foremost of sinners? It is his recognition that he is a sinner, it is his honesty with himself, it is his acceptance of God’s love and forgiveness in spite of it all that allowed him to love so much that he laid down his life for Christ. Not the opposite.

Christ did not say those who have overcome the most love the most. He did not say those that can keep the law the best love the most. He did not say that those who can be the holiest on their own love the most. Those that have been forgiven much love much.

I dare say that if you do not love God much, then you are unaware of how much you have been forgiven and how sinful you really are. 

I am adding this after publishing the original, but we love as a result of being forgiven and we also show mercy where we have been shown mercy. In what you condemn, you admit there is no mercy for in your life. In what you judge you say that you are willing to be judged for it as well. How often is the loudest critic just as guilty of the sin. "You who is without sin cast the first stone." Christ said. For the rest of us He said, "Love your neighbor as yourself."

Awake My Soul and Love

Song of Solomon 5:2, “I was asleep but my heart was awake. A voice! My Beloved (Jesus) was knocking…”

For the past week to ten days I have had dozens, if not hundreds of reminders of my past. Wonderful memories, crazy happenings, and even of the many mistakes along the way, and for some reason this morning I looked back at my life spiritually. The gaze was incredible to look at the distance I have come since first giving my life to God 32 years ago.

I thought about how homosexuals no longer offend me in some form of enmity birthed from childhood trauma and bad teaching. Oh their lifestyle is a sin, but I feel compassion and love for them outside their lifestyle.

I thought about those following religions outside of Christianity, about those within Christianity and on paths complete different from my own. No longer is there judgment in my soul, but hope, and grace, and that same mysterious love.

I thought about religion and the vast difference of my beliefs from my Methodists beginnings, though the foundation of Christ is one and the same. God have mercy on us all as there are so many that would lead us, but I just want to be led by Christ.

In general I just reflected on how there was so much that disturbed me in years gone by that now does not bother me at all either because my trust in the Lord is becoming more complete, or because mysterious birthed inside me is a love for the people groups I once found offensive.

I marveled at the peace, which is not complete, but that I have and is increasing. Have I gone mad? Have I accepted compromise? Or is it the fruit of the Holy Spirit? Rhetorical question as I know the answer.

I marvel at the tolerance. Have I become indifferent to sin, or has judgment finally begun to flee from my soul? Am I callused from the exposure, or have I found grace and mercy and love for their souls... and mine?

I am left with feeling alive. I feel more alive than I have ever felt. Awake my soul. I was asleep, but my Beloved was knocking on my soul… “awake and love” He was saying. 

Growing - Love

2 Peter 1:7, “… and in your brotherly kindness (supply), love.”

As I reach the end of this series on growing I can’t help but think that love, as a Christ like quality possessed by the believer is the end all be all. After all the apostle Paul did write in 1 Corinthians 13:13, “But now faith, hope, love, abide in these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

Jesus Himself summarized every commandment into two when He said, “A new commandment I give you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.”

But do we as a human race even begin to understand what it is to love? Does actually being a Christian create love? “As I have loved you” Jesus said. How did Christ love people? On one day He feed thousands and then the very next day sent them away. In one sentence He calls Peter a rock, and in the very next sentence says to him, “get behind me Satan.” The gospels teach us that Jesus loved Lazarus so He did not go to him when he was sick but waited and Lazarus died. The Bible teaches us that God is love, and that He loves the world and yet Jesus turned over tables at the temple, and more than once called Pharisees names. And every bit of it was love.

Would we define love on those terms? How about the love in the parable of the prodigal son. The Father in the story is God. The 2 sons are us. God love let one go, and allowed another to stay. God’s love rejoiced over the return of the “sinner”, the prodigal… and almost scolds the faithful son for his jealousy.

John 15:13 records Jesus saying, “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” Do we love like this? Do we really love the sinner and hate the sin as some have so craftily said? Would you lay your life down for your spouse or children? Many would say of course. But as a reminder of how far you are from the love that brotherly kindness and faith, and moral excellence, and self-control, and perseverance, and godliness supply I would ask this. Would you lay down your life for a person of another race, for a homosexual, for a murderer even? Would you die for the murderer of one of your children just so they could have an opportunity to make heaven? That is love, and that is exactly what Christ, and Christ alone did.

Love is not a destination. If pure perfect love were possible outside of Christ’s example then we should expect all the other gifts of the spirit to cease as 1 Corinthians 13:10 says. Think about that. Do you prophecy? Then perfect love has not come to you. Do you speak in tongues? Then the perfect has not come. Get it?

Love is a quality, like the others of the first Chapter of 2 Peter that grows as its base grows. It takes godliness – that transfer into kingdom awareness and mindedness to truly love. It takes having been kind to the deserving to see the unlovebale as deserving of love too. And it takes relationship with God to see when a rebuke is as much love to one as a meal is to another.

Love is not advice. Love is not worry. Love is not a feeling. It is not the hormonal high of people desiring one another. Love is patient, kind, not jealous, not arrogant, not unbecoming. Love never desires something for itself, it is never provoked, and always forgiving. Love never rejoices at suffering or unrighteousness, but only rejoices in the truth. As Paul tells us “love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

An impossible standard demonstrated by Christ. That’s love, and it is yours and increasing for a purpose. Not to be the end all be all. Love is just one of the qualities that we must have so that we can know our Lord Jesus Christ. “True Knowledge” Peter says.

I will close with something from my dear friend Jim Spivey this morning. He’s my love coach for those of you who don’t know him. He said, “You can only truly give that which can be fully received.  True love both requires and creates perfect reciprocity, unity, and wholeness.  It always operates in completeness, never aiming to create what already exists in full.  'Attempts to love' reveals itself in its unreceivability, because it is built on a lie that insists that something is missing.  Completion and perfect love come in 'seeing' wholeness anew, not in finding and fitting in the missing pieces.  Remember, the only real and true peace and joy is buried, hidden, right ‘in the eye’ of the hurricane, not to be found outside of it, by trying to steer clear of it.”

Hypocrisy

1 Timothy 1:15, “It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all.”

These are the words of the apostle Paul to Timothy. How about that for a self reflection… Paul calling himself the foremost of all sinners, and yet he is attributed to two thirds of the New Testament. Here is a man, at the end of his life, whose letters will survive and be used by God for millennia admitting he is far from perfect.

How is it that we can accept the murders and imperfections of Paul -- follow his teaching on Christ, and can find the reason to call anyone within the body of Christ a hypocrite?

Hypocrisy is the pretending to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs. Was Paul pretending to be pious when he describes himself as chief among sinners? Does the fact that Paul was responsible for killing Christians negate his writings concerning Christ? Does Paul, or any of us, being sinners negate our love for God?

Because I am a sinner, does that negate my writings or teachings? Is the anointing of the Holy Spirit to minister limited to those who achieve perfection, or is God’s word true in that our sins are covered by the blood of Christ and not our own doing?

Does the truth coming from the mouth of a sinner make it any less truthful?

I am a sinner, who is deeply in love with God. I am a sinner who trusts in the blood of Jesus Christ to allow me access to my Father. I trust in the Christ obedience as the ONLY way for me to have access and awareness of the kingdom of God.

I am not a hypocrite. There is no pretending in me. I may cause offense. I may have freedoms that other’s doctrines will not allow them to have, but like Nathanael I pray it will  be said about me in heaven that I too was one that “in whom there is no deceit.” (John 1:47)

I laugh a little because so many are confused by the idea of Christianity. They think that it is a system of behavior. And in fact, over time, with each encounter with Christ behavior changes, but it has little or nothing to do with behavior. In the gospels Jesus tells some who healed and cast out demons in His name to depart from Him because He never knew them. He goes on to say there are only 2 commandments… love God, and love our neighbor. Christianity has never been about what you do? It's about who you are. Are you a friend of God? Do you love God? Do you love your neighbor?

There is no hypocrisy in love. There is no guile in love. And for me, there is nothing that will ever stop me from proclaiming that love. It is unconditional. 

Love Somebody

Romans 12:15-16 , "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation."

Time and time again the Bible reminds us there is nothing to fix. We simply are to "be" with one another. Rejoicing with the happy and weeping with the sad. Add to that the humility to know that we are not more wise than God, so by inference obedience to His inspiration is the true wisdom.

Lilly was a great example yesterday of obedience on so many levels. It was not my task to solve her problem. But it was my godly task to do what I could and bring some dignity to her disparage. But there are so many more people who need what we have, and that need is not for anything financial.

In fact, in my experience, money is the last thing they need. The grieving widow or widower often needs me to reflect Christ in the form of a companion willing to jump into their grief and be with them in it. The rape victim needs from me my limited empathy. and to be reassured often that it was not their fault. They need me to encourage forgiveness. The physically abused sometimes need nothing more than a hug, and to know that real love is out there. The homosexual needs love without condemnation, and to know I can love them without accepting or loving the sin. The sick need prayer. The lonely need someone to talk to. The prisoner needs a visit.

We have what someone needs. And what we have is to simply be a reflection of Christ in the moment.

In my visit to Austin my friend's wife said, "Can you imagine what would happen if those with extra just gave to one person in need?" To that I replied, Can you imagine if 10% of those with extra would give to one person in need? There would be no needs.

Once again, I will remind you of Jim Spivey's words, "“God's Love is self-revealing (you won't have to ‘look for’ Him, He will just ‘show up’) and self-animating (you won't have to ‘wonder what to do,’ it will be self-evident), after you complete your self-crucifying (having fully accepted the death of all of your fear-based illusions).”

You do not have to "look" for opportunities to love as a reflection of Christ. But you do have to obey by doing something when that opportunity "self-reveals."

Go out and love somebody today!

Being Beautiful Really Sux

John 3:16, "For God so loved (you)..."

I post often about a once a week group I attend called Tomball Love Machine. The meeting is a total of 2 hours long and people arrive as they can. It is interesting on a lot of levels, not just spiritual. I have notice that the larger the attendance, the bigger the group dynamics. And the bigger the group dynamics the longer it takes for all the personalities to settle and God to come through. So for that reason I am thankful that the meeting has so much time allotted to it.

Here I say all of this thinking it is everyone else's personalities that are getting in the way, but then I realize it is my personality -- that I am seeing as what I am seeing really is the log in my eye thinking it's a splinter in theirs. So with that realization and confession out of the way, I will say that it took me nearly the whole meeting to get into the place where I clearly saw God moving.

For me it began with a mother tearfully expressing that she needs to come to a place where she appreciates herself. This stems from the fact that she has two children with two completely different personalities. One is very loving, affectionate and doting on mom. The other I believe can be described as indifferent. So mom has a hard time understanding the indifferent child. She does not "appreciate" the difference therefore has discovered that she does not "appreciate" herself, and that this lack of self appreciation prevents or hinder her appreciating her daughter. This confession prompted someone else to open up and declare how difficult it is to love yourself. Which prompted another mother to say, "What? Am I just supposed to ask God to show me why He loves me?"

This is a common occurrence in Christianity and the world for that matter. People do not "love themselves" or understand how or why God loves them. I not only see it all the time, I have experienced it to the point of despair these people are experiencing it.

But the result in our group was that one of the men there read to last mom a beautiful understanding of her pain. Then proceeded to sing her a song. It was an absolute beautiful expression of God's love for her. In fact it was an undeniable expression of God's love for her. The whole room had teary eyes and people commented how beautiful her heart was and the experience she opened.

Sobbing she replied, "being beautiful sux."

How important is it for us to understand God loves us? And not only that He loves us, but why He loves us. We need to experience and understand that for a healthy life. When we don't understand how and why God loves us, then we constantly look outside ourselves for that love. We look to spouses, children, parents, pastors, friends, anything and anyone to show us the love we crave and all of those "people" are always going to let us down. When they don't let us down it is only because Christ loved us through them in that moment.

Probably even more important than "knowing" how and why God loves us, we need to experience it. The sobbing mom declaring being beautiful sux was in that experience. In that moment she was experiencing the love of God. Being beautiful sux, because when God is loving you all the excuses fall away. All the pretense falls away. When God shows you that you are beautiful, you realize everything you thought you were is ugly.

We are loved because we are God's children. We are loved because we are each individual, unique, priceless vessels designed to be filled with Christ. I asked the sobbing mom, why do you love your daughter? Her reply was, I don't know. Truth is she loves her daughter because she is her daughter, and God love us simply because we are His children. Nothing more, nothing less.

Until Death Do Us Part

Proverbs 31:10, "An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels."

I had the great pleasure of meeting Paul's wife the day after meeting Paul. (Back to the Future). She came to Love Machine in Tomball, which is a great group that gets together once a week.

Her name is Kristen, and having felt such a kindred connection to Paul I was really interested in meeting her. After all, behind every great man is an even better woman. Plus I wanted to get her take on their adventures with God over the past two and a half years.

My first impressions of Kristen was her contagious smile. She sat there in the group, just smiling. If I didn't know better, her expression could have been that of lounging around in a favorite pair of  pajamas watching a great movie. Paul on the other hand was still writhing in the pain of his transformation from submission to surrender. My second impression of Kristen came when Paul spoke.

Paul shared briefly his struggle with the group and Kristen's eye's were fixed on him. Her smile deepened. All I could see in that moment was this woman REALLY loves her husband. There was a sense of pride she exhibited. It was beautiful to know the struggles they had been through, and see such an unconscious expression of love, adoration, and commitment. I had to know her side of the story. I had to know if this was a super woman who had it all together, and patiently waited for her husband to come to this point; or if there was an equal struggle of transformation on her part.

We eventually connected by phone for my debriefing. As it turns out Kristen was not Mrs. Perfect, and the lesson was not for her husband alone. She too had to allowed God to use the hardships of the past couple of years to transform her. Somehow she found the will to continue with God and her husband in spite of the painful confrontation of herself. It appears that Kristen was not too long ago a "rage-aholic." I don't know the reason for the rage, other than something family related from her past, but it is completely irrelevant. Because in our face to face encounter she was all smiles, and now on the phone the smile was coming through again. I can not judge the rage dead, but I can say that it is dead enough that I cannot see it in her in the least.

Kristen went on to explain that prior to the financial demise she would engage in "retail therapy" to quite the confrontation with self. And though shopping does produce endorphins, it is just like God to remove the means to shop or any other substitute for His peace and relationship to Him.

So here's Kristen, realizing after two and half years of struggle that there is a purpose in it all. She is seeing God make lemonade out of lemons in both her and her husband. She, in the process of loosing her identity as the wife of the President of a Company, discovered her identity in Christ. She described it like a pie. The complete pie is all her in Christ. One slice is wife. Another slice is mother. On and on all making her her complete image and a reflection of Jesus.

Many weaker people have divorced for less. Many others have seen the value in their spouse as some external attribute, and when that thing is attacked or loss, so too the value of their spouse is lost. Not Kristen & Paul. They find value in each other. They find value in the walk together. They find value in being conformed to the image of Christ. Humbly they accept their own flaws and the need to change while simultaneously embracing their spouse's flaw and patiently waiting for God to do His work there. They have not survived... they have thrived. Even when her parents attack Paul and His parents attacked Kristen. They grew together just like they individually grew in Christ.

It is a beautiful relationship, one to be admired, and one to be emulated.

Love Machine

John 3:16, "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son..." & Romans 8:29, "and these whom He predestined, He also called, and these whom He called, He also justified, and these whom He justified, He also glorified."

After "Stuck," and my admitting to myself that don't love the majority of the people in the eclectic Wednesday group called Love Machine, I decided to take a different approach to this week's meeting. I decided to pray before hand and ask God to show me why He loves the individuals there. What an answer I got!

I was hoping for just a little nugget of truth. What I got was a full on buffet. And not just any buffet, an all you can eat buffet with everything on the menu being tasty.

The main entree of this love feast is a young lady that in weeks gone by feel under my judgmental eye. And to be frank, my judgments were not pretty. I don't know what is "wrong" with her, but there certainly was something in my opinion. There is nothing overtly offensive about her, she is just one of those people that I don't click with. Only at the end of this experience do I realize she is the star of God's show. That she is deserving of the title Miss Love Feast.

So today, Miss Love Feast tells us of a recent struggle with a friend of 14 years. A woman who has man issues. These man issues led their friendship to a very difficult spot where Miss Love Feast was put in a very awkward position to choose between her friend of 14 years, or the recently cast aside ex-lover of the friend. All things really side issues at this point. Miss Love was really just trying to rescue the part of her old-self she saw in her friend. Which led me to my question. I asked how did you get here? How did you escape whatever it was you escaped? Thinking the answer to her escape would be the answer for her friends escape.

What I got was a tale of innocence lost. I heard of a downward spiral in the adult entertainment industry that was getting worse when the random happened. It sounded to me like she had reached the point of being sucked into the sewer by the whirlpool of life's toilet. But God stepped in. She described a series of random events that began with a woman asking to borrow her internet, to miraculously being introduced to Love Machine and Jim Spivey. I was blown away. Undeniably God loves her so much that He snatched her out of literally the pits of hell. I witnessed her predestination, calling, justification, and glorification in this unconscious testimony. I had to ask, why does God love you so much to pull you so miraculously out of that destruction? And she doesn't know.

Which is a bite on the buffet of love. If you ask me why I love my children I can not give you an answer, but I do. And if you asked my children why their dad loves them I would hope they would say they don't know why, but he love us. That is how God's love is. It is unexplainable. And really it is unnecessary to explain it beyond its presence. And so as I moved down the buffet not really understanding this lesson yet, I pleasantly got to take a bite of a completely different form of love.

I had invited to the meeting a pastor I know. I will call him Pastor Fountain because he is a fountain of God's word. A NEVER ENDING fountain of God's word. Full of truth and A LOT OF IT. (get the picture) Suddenly the fountain gets the floor and here comes scripture to address Miss Love Feast's dilemma.

Every word was true, but I was struggling to not cut him off. To not stop him, and explain my rules of love machine. On and on he went, and in spite of my looks to shut up he continued. I was thinking that the word of God is good, but only when seasoned with love. I didn't feel Pastor Fountain was walking in love. At the end of his sermon Jim spoke up.

Before Jim's Grandfather would sexually abuse him, he would preach the bible at him. That put a pretty bad taste in Jim's mouth for preachy people. I have a lot of people that I associate with that have been victimized by people wielding the Bible without love. But Jim has overcome that past experience, and I have learned from his different approach. He explained his feelings, but that he let his feelings become thoughts, and he let his thoughts settle until he could hear the truth. The truth was that Pastor Fountain was saying I love you, just in a whole lot more words than any of us would use.

So today I discovered that God loves Miss Love Feast so much that He would snatch her out of a lifestyle and into His life. I discovered that it is not important why God loves us, but that He does. And I discovered that those expressions of His love come in many, many forms. Sometimes it comes in a simple hug, years of being drawn closer to Him, and even wordy messages of truth. Probably most importantly, I discovered that if you will take the time to learn how God has loved someone, it makes it super easy to love them too.

It was a good, good day!

Now I had finished this post when through the internet came my desert from this buffet of love. I was wondering if the random person who introduced Miss Love Feast to Christ through Jim and Love Machine knew of the great work for God that she had done. I wondered and prayed, and thought how wonderful it would be for her to share in this. And I got this message from Miss Love Feast. It said, "I told her about today's love machine, and how I know God put her in my life that day to save my life."

I am full as a tick on this incredible feast of love. I am also really enjoying reporting on humanity as it interacts with God.

Stuck

Romans 7:15, "For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am practicing what I would like to do, but I am going the very thing I hate."

I have this little group I attend on Wednesday that is called Love Machine. Given the eclectic collection of people that come to it, opportunity abounds to find someone completely offensive. I guess that's what makes it a love machine in that you are  going to be forced to love someone you can't stand. Not to mention that it is a complete test of everything I write. For example the lesson on what is wrong with the picture is me. And my judgments of others are really judgments of myself.

Look, doesn't God understand that I didn't go there to find out about myself. I went to be some great spiritual force for good and to lead someone closer to Christ because Him and I are best buds. He has such the sense of humor. I believe there were 14 people there. I like 3 of them. The other 11, well they offend me to the core. So instead of looking inside, and instead of trying to get a kingdom perspective of the other group members, I sized them up.

This guy is an arrogant contrarian, that guy is trying to be in charge, that guy just wants to be God voice for the group, that lady is going to be a victim her whole life, that gal got over her issues by building a wall behind another issue. On and on, I go around the room judging, and worse falling into that judgment. One poor gal was questioning why a minister would not, and I chimed in with, if you felt so strongly about it, you should have... It was intended to shut her down, and accomplished it's goal. But that is not God's goal. God's goal is for there to be an environment of openness, and expression of fears and frailties so that love can come through. So that iron can sharpen iron, and we who have been through muck, can go and be with those who are still in the muck and vice versa.

I wanted to be a 4x4 pulling people from the mud. Instead I discovered that I am very much still stuck in it myself. That was not a light I was shinning on those folks. It was a mirror looking into my soul to see that their issues were not their issues at all, but mine.   Fortunately though I still care about what God thinks. Fortunately I continue on the path, even though today I stumbled in my thoughts and deeds. Next week the opportunity will be there again and perhaps this time I can go in looking to see everyone from God's perspective instead of my own. Then perhaps with that perspective I can see what is lovable, and how that love is best given.

In the meantime... love is a battlefield. A battlefield in my mind, heart, and spirit. Jim... this one is for you.

Father's Day 2011

Romans 8:15, "For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, "Abba! Father!"

How could I let a Father's Day pass without giving honor to my Dad. It seems that the older I get the more I realize any and all of my negative judgments of him growing up were really just my own frailties and faults being magnified. Reality is God gave me one of the absolute best examples of Himself. Oh my Dad is not perfect, but God knew he was perfect for me. I truly am blessed!

Father's Day also stirs some other thoughts. Thoughts of hurting for those who had horrible fathers, or no fathers at all. I think of Mr Unlovable and the hundreds of men I have met in my few trips to prison to minister. I think about some of the characters on TV, all complaining and blaming there fathers. One lady I met recently said, "maybe I can't understand the love of God because my Dad was so bad." So for those with crappy fathers I say, God has many more loving fathers for you in this lifetime.

One other major thought today is about my children. I sincerely pray that I somehow honor my Dad the way that my children bring me honor. When I think of Hugh, Sarah, & Katherine (adult children) I give a fist pump and say YES!!!! The plan is coming together and they are my legacy. For Isaac, well he's a little young yet, but with God's help he is going to turn out great as well. And don't let me forget Lauren (Jamie's Daughter). Our relationship is daily evolving into something completely beautiful.

I think of the Fathers how have gone on before us. Thank you Lord that this world is temporary. That beyond is something eternal. Somewhere we will get to be with our Fathers and THE FATHER forever.

Finally to The Father. Daddy, we love you so much. You are magnificent. Your wisdom is beyond comprehension. Thank you... thank you for loving us. Everyday is your Father's Day.

Kingdom Eyes

2 Timothy 2:7, "Consider what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything."

Most Christians of all denominations and faith acknowledge the Holy Spirit to one degree or another. They accept that He is our helper and guide, and know that sometimes our thoughts are not our own, but placed there by the Holy Spirit. This gives us a counter voice to the voice of the world. What I would propose is that if the Holy Spirit is our facilitator to hearing God, then the kingdom of God is our facilitator to seeing.

Sounds a bit like herasy, but follow me on this one. God is light. Light is energy and mass. God is, and His light emits from Him. Where that light goes is His kingdom. The Holy Spirit operates not only in the kingdom, but beyond it's borders to call people out of the darkness. Darkness is the absense of light, and thus to be outside the kingdom of God. With me so far?

Now scripture can be read with the help of the Holy Spirit. Take for example the parable of the talents. The master gives the slaves talents (6000 days wages) expecting them to invest the money. Upon the master's return he comes to collect. The ones who grew the talents were rewarded. The ones who did nothing had it taken away. With the Holy Spirit we know talents are not just money. With the Holy Spirit we know that the master is the Master, namely Jesus Christ. Now let's open our eyes. Let's look at the scripture from inside the kingdom.

Inside the kingdom we know everything is spiritual. Therefore we know that the talents are nothing earthly. The talent may be mercy, patience, giving, comforting, understanding... anything that is a character of God, or anything that God can imagine. It is not money, education, intellect. For me, God has said my talent is shameless surrender. Therefore it is my obligation, under the kingdom principle to not only use that talent, but use it in such a way that it grows. That others learn or recognize it in themselves.

Don't believe me? Look at Matthew 19:24. Jesus says, "Again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Again, with kingdom Eyes... where is the rich man going? To the kingdom of God... not a place in the future, but a place here and now. A place that fills us as we enter. And again because the kingdom of God is spiritual we know that a rich person is not only monetary wealth. Riches are anything in abundance that we rely on more than God. Again it can be intellect, education, training... anything. You see the eye of a needle was a physical place. It was in the gate of a khan at Nazareth. It was intended for foot traffic, but for a camel to go through it must be unpacked of its load.  So too a man that relies on the earthy treasures must be unpacked before entering and understanding this kingdom of God principle. The more education you have, the harder it is to unpack. The more money you have the harder it is to unpack.Once on the other side the camel maybe reloaded. God may have us pick up and use the natural talents and gifts, but only after them being laid down. Just like Abraham laid down Isaac.

I have a lot of financial training. I am in a financial crisis because God is helping me unpack all that physical training and education so that I can enter through the eye of the needle into the kingdom of God where I will see and understand Him as my Provider and Provision.

I will close with something from my sight coach Jim Spivey, "What I “see,” thanks to Him, I can sometimes have a hard time convincing other people of, because it is not readily “apparent.”  The only “place” from which I will desperately struggle to do so is the place that has lost touch with His vision.  Clear and in direct contact, there is no drama, for the answer He gave one, He gave all, and it is not my job to manipulate, force, or control access.  It is my job to simply point to the door and invite entry."

Trials - Expect Them

Hebrews 11:1, "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."

If I am truly to be a "minister" then one of the functions that I should be good at is articulating spiritual truths so that they can have practical application to life. Yet when I delve into the subject of the kingdom of God I find that my understanding is far deeper than my ability to articulate. Therefore it becomes very refreshing when I find a predecessor who has said the very thing I find indescribable.

Once again T Austin-Sparks has the words I am looking for. He said, "Paralysis, defeat, disaster have always been consequent upon judgment after the sight of the eyes (the eyes of the natural senses). Victory has always issued sooner or later from someone's assurance of and discernment of the Divine resources and realities behind all else. " In other words, when negative happens it is because we have looked at the situation from natural laws and observations. But when the results are victory, or a pleasing outcome then we have acted spiritual or divine laws and observation.

Circumstances can be identical but the perception is what is important. It was not because the Israelites were looking at their circumstances in the flesh that they became surrounded and trapped by a sea, mountains, and an army. The entrapment was going to happen regardless. It was their lack of spiritual vision that caused them to panic and fear and not see the victory coming.

Jesus said in John 16:33 "... have peace, In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." Why do we remain surprised by the tribulation? Why to we blame other's tribulation on a lack of righteousness? They are unrelated. The world brings trials. To never venture through them is inescapable. But as inescapable as the trials are, God is always there providing an escape and opportunity to overcome. He is always providing an opportunity to observe them from a kingdom of God perspective. The ultimate overcoming is moving closer to Him in relationship and deeper into the kingdom of God.

Dealing with these trials is what has to change. Natural laws create the issues and to rely on natural laws (natural sight) to escape is never the answer. We must rely on spiritual laws. We must see with out spirits.

I like the story in 2 Kings 6:16-17. King Aram has sent his army to capture the prophet Elisha. It is Elisha and his servant against horses and chariots. This is what happens. Elisha answered, "Do not fear, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them. (In the natural 2 v. great army) Then Elisha prayed and said, 'O Lord, I pray, open his eyes that he may see.' And the Lord opened the servant's eyes and he saw; behold the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.

The are always two things at work. The world & the kingdom of God. As our ego dies, the kingdom grows within us, along with our ability to see it. But the man/woman of God "who has a firsthand fellowship with God sees the mountains round about filled with "the chariots of Israel and the horsemen thereof." (T Austin-Sparks)

Open my eyes God! Open our eyes God! When you find yourself staring defeat and disaster in the face, ask God to open you eyes. Open yours eyes to His kingdom, and what is really happening. See His victory, feel His love, enjoy His peace.

Love - Obedience -Faith

John 5:19, "Therefore Jesus answered and was saying to them, 'Truly, truly,  I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, unless it is something He sees the Father doing; for whatever the Father does, these things the Son also does in like manner."

I have discovered that the recent posts on love are spiritually provocative, and a little bit controversial. On one level pure, perfect, agape love represents the unattainable. And because it is unattainable, then perhaps these discussions are pointless. Perhaps it is too difficult a task for any individual to look in the mirror and honestly say to themselves I can never achieve perfect agape love. But reality is this is the very thing that needs to happen. Until we can look in the mirror and say that very thing we will never experience it.

T Austin Sparks wrote in 1927, "...it is necessary to settle it once and for all that we, in ourselves, will never be overcomers, and that opens the way for the whole of this theme and its reality of meaning to come from the Lord to us. There is only one Overcomer in the universe, and that is the Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and if there are ever any other overcomers, they will not be others at all, they will simply be the extension of His overcoming — the expansion of His victory." Until we can admit this truth to ourselves I fail to see how we can ever overcome the arrogance of our ego to truly love. (Please understand that I use self, ego, and flesh interchangeably and believe them to be the same inner man referred to in scripture.) In admitting our weakness, acknowledging Christ strength, then God's perfect love can begin to work in us. Leading to the second point.

Obedience to God is what makes the "act" of love perfect. But how can we obey when the voice is still and the vision is as in a mirror dimly? Jesus did it with a perfect connection to God. He did and said what the Father did and said. Hear the words of Christ, "the Son can do nothing of Himself." Even the love shown by Jesus was not His own, but belonged to the father. So what then of this obedience? Is obedience the barrier that prevents us from loving?

I think not. This is one of the many paradoxes of life. God loves us, so that we can love others, so that God can love us again, and so that we can love others. The relationship is critical, but the acts of love become a reflection of what we see the Father to be. The perfect acts of love are God's light shining through us in His act of first love. So the spiritual reality is that obedience is not a limiting factor because we can only reflect what we see. We can only obey what we hear, and it is God's responsibility to speak as much as we have responsibility to hear. Bringing us to the final component or point.

Without faith it is impossible to please God. Because we see poorly, if at all, and because we hear poorly, if at all... we must have faith to fill the gap. The spiritual "thought" has to be seasoned with faith inorder to become an act of love. We love in faithful obedience knowing that even if not a perfect act of love, God will cause it all to work together for good.

Lets jump to the practical. If we will approach life with the attitude of being in relationship to God, then we will find the opportunities to be a refection of His love. This does not have to be done a church, on the mission field, or in any other "institution" of Christianity. This can, and is to be done, right where you are. How about the Boss who takes the file clerk to lunch and just listens to them? Or the file clerk who on the way home throws a quarter into the beggar's cup? These can be practical acts of love triggered by God's tug on the heart. To yield to that tug is the faith that makes the act love. The act can be anything, and in any direction. I am reminded of a story I heard about Abraham Lincoln. It was of an old lady making him cry with her gift of cookies. He was used to people coming to his office wanting something. This woman just wanted to bring him some cookies. The tears were obviously an acknowledgment of the love.

Last I will share this. My mom text-ed me the other day that she wanted to pay my phone bill. This was absolutely an act of God's agape love. Not because it is my mom. Not because it met a need. It was an act of God's love because she did not know the bill was not paid, and hours from being cut off. This was God saying to me... I love you and your quest to discover Me as both provision and Provider will not go unanswered. Equally, had she know those facts, I would not have received it as love, but rather her attempt to fix the situation. I'm not looking for my situation to be fixed. I am looking for God's love, so that I can love, and be loved again... continuously by God.

Who can you show the love of Christ to today?

If you need love, or prayer, please feel free to contact me.

Love is not

1 John 4:8, " The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love."

I cannot escape thinking about Agape love. It sounds stupid, but the totality of all my life's experiences and thoughts of love are but a fraction of what I see love to be today. It as if God has hung this proverbial carrot out in front of me and said, come and get it. I see something out there I have never fully experienced, nor fully observed in this lifetime. Oh sure, my definition of love has been met and seen thousands of times. But God's definition of love... frankly I have mainly read about it in the life of Christ. Oh there are times when I taste it, but that taste is the little baby spoon for the sample at the ice cream counter. I can see that there is a four scoop banana split of love out there. That's what I want to take a bite of.

What is this love? Oswald Chambers says that it has a degree of spontaneity. That true, pure love is not something that is planned. 1 Corinthians says it is patient, kind, not jealous, does not brag, not arrogant, doesn't act unbecomingly, does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, rejoices in truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, and never fails. 1 John tells us God is love and if we don't love then we don't know God. Jesus said there was no greater love than to lay down one's life for another.

What fascinates me more at the moment is not what love is, but what love is not. For example, no where does it say love is never angry, or love is compassionate. Both feelings the bible is clear that Christ had. Love is not necessarily giving advice. Love is not even giving a hand out. Though advice and a hand out could be considered kindness, they could equally be unkind if the advice is misguided, or the handout is enabling. There is not an absolute that love is doing what someone wants. It does not say that love teaches... though this could be an act of love. It does not say love is feeding the hungry. It does not say love is giving to the poor. Though Christ clearly gave to the poor, He also did not give when it was suggested by Judas that perfume used on Him should be sold for that purpose. On the contrary Jesus replied, "you will always have the poor with you." So in the reality of life there are a lot of acts, and omissions for that matter, that may or may not be love. What makes them love or not is if God (who is love) is behind them. So love, the love of God, also has an element of obedience to it.

Can we conclude that if we know God through salvation then we will experience His love? Can we also conclude that if we have experienced His love then we will also be able to express that love? Can we also conclude if we are to express love correctly then God will have to communicate what the correct act is?

Now throw into the mix that loving God, and loving our neighbor as ourselves are the only two commandments. And Jesus says that in exercising these commandments His burden is easy and His load is light. Therefore should the acts of love that God commands not be horrifically burdensome? Oh you can be certain that pure love will absolutely confront our egos, and never allow us to be seeking our own. But beyond that beautiful experience of dying to self, of ego being defeated, shouldn't love be easy? Answer... love is only easy for a dead man, an ego-less man.

Love - the greatest gift

1 Corinthians 13:8-10, "Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will  be done away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect (love) comes, the partial will be done away."

I was baptized catholic, grew up going to a Methodists church while attending a Church of Christ elementary school. Only to be switched to an Assembly of God church and a Catholic High school. Later, as an adult, attended various non-denominational churches, a post denominational church, to where I am now. I have attended over 3000 services, and spent 2 years in ministry school. I have read my bible cover to cover multiple times. I would like to believe that I have experienced all that religion has to offer from the systematic to the charismatic. I have attended faith services, repentance services, bible churches, revival services, deliverance conferences, pretty much all that I care to. Unlike many of my predecessors I don't condemn any congregation for specializing or focusing on one area. In fact, to this day I maintain relationships with people I met along the way -- all the way back to that Church of Christ Elementary School and everywhere in between.  Good, godly individuals to whom anyone could emulate and achieve heaven.

All that training, teaching, learning, seeking... and still I only occasionally touch true pure agape love. That extra special, unconditional love completely lacking in any selfish motivation like with Mr. Unlovable. Why is this? 1 John 4:19 says, "We love, because He first loved us." Perhaps I have not truly tasted God's love and therefore incapable of giving it to its fullness.

I can't help but wonder if the last 30 years of Christianity for me were spent with too much majoring on the minor and minoring on the major. Why haven't I studied this unconditional love? After all, according to scripture it is the highest gift. Reality is all those things build to love. Unconditional love is somehow accomplished on the backside of all the minor lessons. And more importantly I appears to be found, like God, at the very end of ourselves. Only in this death of ego have I ever experienced this true agape love.

This all reminds me a paraplegic paper salesman that back in my rich days would benefit from me giving him $100 a week. Then one week I didn't have any cash on me, and I saw him feebly trying to sell papers once again from his wheelchair. In my heart I felt like I was supposed to talk to him. Reluctantly I parked and made my way to the middle of the 8 lanes of traffic. Not knowing what to say I decided to try and help him sell papers. 30 minutes or more passed, and I didn't sell a paper. So I asked the paper salesman his name.

His name is Julius. Curious, I asked how he ended up in the wheelchair. He explained that he was shot in the neck in a drug deal gone bad. Concerned about how he gets by I asked how does the sell the papers, because business seemed bad.

It was then he explained that he only sells on that side of the street until 10:00am and then move to the other side where it is much better. I asked why until 10am. He said about once a week a guy comes buy and gives him $100 and he needs to be there cause it's his lucky spot. I told him I was the guy. He could not thank me enough. I felt embarrassed. I only gave him the money in obedience to the compassion God was putting on my heart. So I told him, don't thank me, thank God... He's the one who told me to do it.

Agape love - - God loves Julius enough to send him provision. God loves me enough to send me out there to get the whole story, to experience the unconditional love. How do I find this love everyday? How do I be this love everyday? Isn't that what God wants us all to be?

People - - OMG

Luke 19:41-44, "When He approached Jerusalem, He saw the city and wept over it saying, "... because you did not recognize the time of your visitation."

I am convinced that if it weren't for people I would be able to walk in agape love. (LOL) In fact not only walk in love, but not miss my visitation. But as it is, the world is full of people, and thus this path to love is proving to have some very steep uphill battles.

 Like the people at Quest Diagnostics. I needed a drug screen for my employer. I arrived the other day at 4:03pm, and was told they would not do my test because they stop them at 4:00pm in spite of being open from 6:30AM to 5:00PM. Only to be turned away again the following morning at 8:30AM because they don't start drug screen tests until 10:00AM. There certainly was no common sense or customer service in any of it, and as a result I was a little fit to be tied. Forget the injustice that I have to even take the test when police, teachers, congressmen, judges, doctors... people in places of importance don't have to suffer the same humiliation.

But that experience was to be outdone moments later by the folks at Montgomery County Appraisal District. Some might say they are only doing their job. Well once again I had a gigantic encounter with a void of common sense and customer service. In fact, that whole experience seems to be an encounter with yet another completely corrupt, or at least gerrymandered system operated by people who not only support it, but simultaneously derive some twisted sense of enjoyment.

But what would Jesus do? I know if I was Jesus what I would do. Can anyone say, hell fire and brimstone? But I'm not Him, and unfortunately once again His word is more right than my attitude. I think Jesus would probably weep at the whole lot, just like He did for Jerusalem. So much energy being spent on spinning the wheels of life. Stuck in a big bog of mud, they just move to move, not getting anywhere.

Just writing about it gives me a whole new perspective. Those poor people... just wandering on the same path day after day... just getting by. Well, I'm glad for one that I am not one of them... and secondly, I am now sad that they are trapped in systems that won't allow them to recognize a visitation. Guess I should have gone in there a little less concerned about my issues, and instead been looking for opportunities to be a light.

Fail.... but the day is not over.

To go deeper, the real issue behind the whole bad attitude is that I am still trying to provide for myself rather than trust God's provision. Raising my property taxes while income is declining created an automated defensive reaction. Asking me to do more for my employer when my income is declining also hit that same defensive reaction. Three separate trips to the same place with Diesel at $4/gallon really pushed the provision button. Were I in the place of trust and faith for God's provision, then I would have had a better chance to be a light and walk in love. I even though I know those people did not deserve for me to walk in love towards them, that is precisely why I should have.

Service - the work of God

John 1:43, "The next day He purposed to go into Galilee, and He found Philip. And Jesus said to him, "Follow Me."

"There are two things at least which are basically wrong and inevitably disastrous from the standpoint of true spiritual value: one is the regarding of the work of God as a set system, just as any commercial, industrial, or professional system is a vocation or calling (So much is heard about "entering the ministry," "taking up Christian work," "becoming a missionary," etc. - and this as static, organized, systematized); the other is going into service on the basis of an external appeal to the senses, the intellect, the emotions, the volition, by reason of a presentation to the ears or the eyes.... Moreover, every man and woman who has come up against spiritual realities in the service of God knows that it requires something stronger than hot air, electric atmosphere, vivid pictures, romantic conceptions, idealistic visions, mental impressions, and occasional stimulants for the will, to make them able to continue indefinitely and to be spiritually effective. No, in every way, the senses are an insufficient basis and a dangerous criterion.

The service of God, being spiritual, will always have an element of mystery about it. The mystery is this: the greater the degree of real spiritual effectiveness and value, and the more spiritually accountable a thing becomes, the less is it a thing that can be seen and handled by the senses and by the flesh - the less the elements and forms of human demonstration and natural appreciation.

Again and again we have marked the grievous tragedy of ministries - personal and otherwise - which were mighty in spiritual significance, that at length took on human significance and assumed forms of natural impressiveness at the expense of that essential value to God. Yes! It has grown big, expansive, famous. Yes! He or she has a name, a reputation, a following, a fame, and a position; but so often... oh, so often... at a cost of accountability amongst "principalities and powers" (This is where spiritual values are judged) which makes it all poor gain... and makes God's heart bleed...

...All-inclusively, only what God does Himself is God's service! This is basic to the entire revelation of the purposes of God in the whole Scriptures...

Only as all service is brought within the limits of this Divine ordering by a positive witness within the sanctified and quickened spirit of the "chosen vessel" can there be "the works of God" which alone count. This, on the other hand, rules out all our works.

Motive, good intent, laboriousness, enthusiasm "in the name of Jesus," "for the Kingdom," "in the interests of mankind," etc. - these do not count in the realm of "the eternal purpose in Christ Jesus" if they are our own activities... with our own natural resources. It must be "God who works within." ... We must be content to have our fruitfulness and spiritual value registered in the unseen... and not be dominated by the scales of values as set up by men on the earth."

T Austin-Sparks 1927

Normally I would not consider such a long quote except for the fact that is so ties into Who are You in the Story? The four talented orphans of that story regarded their talents as a set system to honor God. Not only did they regard their talents that way, they also assumed the audience. That their audience would arrive with pomp and circumstance and outwardly demonstrate fleshly superiority. The fifth orphan with the good heart temporarily tried to go into service of God with what looked appealing to her by asking to be taught someone else's skill. In the end, the fifth orphan was of the greatest spiritual value with an act that on the surface seems to not be entitled to any natural appreciation.

To me, what T Austin-Sparks is saying here is -- it doesn't matter what you do, or how you do it if the motivation is wrong. Jesus said, "follow me." That means getting up day after day, without necessarily a plan or direction and go with Him. On His whims, and on His path. What we do has to be done in obedience to God. Only in Obedience does it have spiritual significance. And if done in obedience, it in fact does have spiritual significance.

Please understand that this is the opportunity for everyone to serve God in every walk of life and profession. Building mega ministries has no spiritual reward unless done in obedience. Mega ministry is not the end all be all. To love in obedience is. Likewise pausing in the business of a day to love on an individual wherever they may be can have paramount spiritual rewards. The obedience to loving the least is where the reward is. The washing of a neighbor's feet in surrender is the service God requires.

What do you have that a person you will encounter today needs? Do you have time, wisdom, money, friendship, an open ear? Perhaps someone needs a meal or a ride. Do you have a word of encouragement or affirmation? Is there someone immediate to you that needs what God wants to give them through you? Respond to that tug on your heart when you feel it. Step out in faith. Don't walk away with the "I should have..." thought. Walk away knowing you obeyed, and who cares about how it looks, or what earthly significance it has.  The obedience alone will have eternal rewards for you.