Love Machine

John 3:16, "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son..." & Romans 8:29, "and these whom He predestined, He also called, and these whom He called, He also justified, and these whom He justified, He also glorified."

After "Stuck," and my admitting to myself that don't love the majority of the people in the eclectic Wednesday group called Love Machine, I decided to take a different approach to this week's meeting. I decided to pray before hand and ask God to show me why He loves the individuals there. What an answer I got!

I was hoping for just a little nugget of truth. What I got was a full on buffet. And not just any buffet, an all you can eat buffet with everything on the menu being tasty.

The main entree of this love feast is a young lady that in weeks gone by feel under my judgmental eye. And to be frank, my judgments were not pretty. I don't know what is "wrong" with her, but there certainly was something in my opinion. There is nothing overtly offensive about her, she is just one of those people that I don't click with. Only at the end of this experience do I realize she is the star of God's show. That she is deserving of the title Miss Love Feast.

So today, Miss Love Feast tells us of a recent struggle with a friend of 14 years. A woman who has man issues. These man issues led their friendship to a very difficult spot where Miss Love Feast was put in a very awkward position to choose between her friend of 14 years, or the recently cast aside ex-lover of the friend. All things really side issues at this point. Miss Love was really just trying to rescue the part of her old-self she saw in her friend. Which led me to my question. I asked how did you get here? How did you escape whatever it was you escaped? Thinking the answer to her escape would be the answer for her friends escape.

What I got was a tale of innocence lost. I heard of a downward spiral in the adult entertainment industry that was getting worse when the random happened. It sounded to me like she had reached the point of being sucked into the sewer by the whirlpool of life's toilet. But God stepped in. She described a series of random events that began with a woman asking to borrow her internet, to miraculously being introduced to Love Machine and Jim Spivey. I was blown away. Undeniably God loves her so much that He snatched her out of literally the pits of hell. I witnessed her predestination, calling, justification, and glorification in this unconscious testimony. I had to ask, why does God love you so much to pull you so miraculously out of that destruction? And she doesn't know.

Which is a bite on the buffet of love. If you ask me why I love my children I can not give you an answer, but I do. And if you asked my children why their dad loves them I would hope they would say they don't know why, but he love us. That is how God's love is. It is unexplainable. And really it is unnecessary to explain it beyond its presence. And so as I moved down the buffet not really understanding this lesson yet, I pleasantly got to take a bite of a completely different form of love.

I had invited to the meeting a pastor I know. I will call him Pastor Fountain because he is a fountain of God's word. A NEVER ENDING fountain of God's word. Full of truth and A LOT OF IT. (get the picture) Suddenly the fountain gets the floor and here comes scripture to address Miss Love Feast's dilemma.

Every word was true, but I was struggling to not cut him off. To not stop him, and explain my rules of love machine. On and on he went, and in spite of my looks to shut up he continued. I was thinking that the word of God is good, but only when seasoned with love. I didn't feel Pastor Fountain was walking in love. At the end of his sermon Jim spoke up.

Before Jim's Grandfather would sexually abuse him, he would preach the bible at him. That put a pretty bad taste in Jim's mouth for preachy people. I have a lot of people that I associate with that have been victimized by people wielding the Bible without love. But Jim has overcome that past experience, and I have learned from his different approach. He explained his feelings, but that he let his feelings become thoughts, and he let his thoughts settle until he could hear the truth. The truth was that Pastor Fountain was saying I love you, just in a whole lot more words than any of us would use.

So today I discovered that God loves Miss Love Feast so much that He would snatch her out of a lifestyle and into His life. I discovered that it is not important why God loves us, but that He does. And I discovered that those expressions of His love come in many, many forms. Sometimes it comes in a simple hug, years of being drawn closer to Him, and even wordy messages of truth. Probably most importantly, I discovered that if you will take the time to learn how God has loved someone, it makes it super easy to love them too.

It was a good, good day!

Now I had finished this post when through the internet came my desert from this buffet of love. I was wondering if the random person who introduced Miss Love Feast to Christ through Jim and Love Machine knew of the great work for God that she had done. I wondered and prayed, and thought how wonderful it would be for her to share in this. And I got this message from Miss Love Feast. It said, "I told her about today's love machine, and how I know God put her in my life that day to save my life."

I am full as a tick on this incredible feast of love. I am also really enjoying reporting on humanity as it interacts with God.

Love - the greatest gift

1 Corinthians 13:8-10, "Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will  be done away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect (love) comes, the partial will be done away."

I was baptized catholic, grew up going to a Methodists church while attending a Church of Christ elementary school. Only to be switched to an Assembly of God church and a Catholic High school. Later, as an adult, attended various non-denominational churches, a post denominational church, to where I am now. I have attended over 3000 services, and spent 2 years in ministry school. I have read my bible cover to cover multiple times. I would like to believe that I have experienced all that religion has to offer from the systematic to the charismatic. I have attended faith services, repentance services, bible churches, revival services, deliverance conferences, pretty much all that I care to. Unlike many of my predecessors I don't condemn any congregation for specializing or focusing on one area. In fact, to this day I maintain relationships with people I met along the way -- all the way back to that Church of Christ Elementary School and everywhere in between.  Good, godly individuals to whom anyone could emulate and achieve heaven.

All that training, teaching, learning, seeking... and still I only occasionally touch true pure agape love. That extra special, unconditional love completely lacking in any selfish motivation like with Mr. Unlovable. Why is this? 1 John 4:19 says, "We love, because He first loved us." Perhaps I have not truly tasted God's love and therefore incapable of giving it to its fullness.

I can't help but wonder if the last 30 years of Christianity for me were spent with too much majoring on the minor and minoring on the major. Why haven't I studied this unconditional love? After all, according to scripture it is the highest gift. Reality is all those things build to love. Unconditional love is somehow accomplished on the backside of all the minor lessons. And more importantly I appears to be found, like God, at the very end of ourselves. Only in this death of ego have I ever experienced this true agape love.

This all reminds me a paraplegic paper salesman that back in my rich days would benefit from me giving him $100 a week. Then one week I didn't have any cash on me, and I saw him feebly trying to sell papers once again from his wheelchair. In my heart I felt like I was supposed to talk to him. Reluctantly I parked and made my way to the middle of the 8 lanes of traffic. Not knowing what to say I decided to try and help him sell papers. 30 minutes or more passed, and I didn't sell a paper. So I asked the paper salesman his name.

His name is Julius. Curious, I asked how he ended up in the wheelchair. He explained that he was shot in the neck in a drug deal gone bad. Concerned about how he gets by I asked how does the sell the papers, because business seemed bad.

It was then he explained that he only sells on that side of the street until 10:00am and then move to the other side where it is much better. I asked why until 10am. He said about once a week a guy comes buy and gives him $100 and he needs to be there cause it's his lucky spot. I told him I was the guy. He could not thank me enough. I felt embarrassed. I only gave him the money in obedience to the compassion God was putting on my heart. So I told him, don't thank me, thank God... He's the one who told me to do it.

Agape love - - God loves Julius enough to send him provision. God loves me enough to send me out there to get the whole story, to experience the unconditional love. How do I find this love everyday? How do I be this love everyday? Isn't that what God wants us all to be?

People - - OMG

Luke 19:41-44, "When He approached Jerusalem, He saw the city and wept over it saying, "... because you did not recognize the time of your visitation."

I am convinced that if it weren't for people I would be able to walk in agape love. (LOL) In fact not only walk in love, but not miss my visitation. But as it is, the world is full of people, and thus this path to love is proving to have some very steep uphill battles.

 Like the people at Quest Diagnostics. I needed a drug screen for my employer. I arrived the other day at 4:03pm, and was told they would not do my test because they stop them at 4:00pm in spite of being open from 6:30AM to 5:00PM. Only to be turned away again the following morning at 8:30AM because they don't start drug screen tests until 10:00AM. There certainly was no common sense or customer service in any of it, and as a result I was a little fit to be tied. Forget the injustice that I have to even take the test when police, teachers, congressmen, judges, doctors... people in places of importance don't have to suffer the same humiliation.

But that experience was to be outdone moments later by the folks at Montgomery County Appraisal District. Some might say they are only doing their job. Well once again I had a gigantic encounter with a void of common sense and customer service. In fact, that whole experience seems to be an encounter with yet another completely corrupt, or at least gerrymandered system operated by people who not only support it, but simultaneously derive some twisted sense of enjoyment.

But what would Jesus do? I know if I was Jesus what I would do. Can anyone say, hell fire and brimstone? But I'm not Him, and unfortunately once again His word is more right than my attitude. I think Jesus would probably weep at the whole lot, just like He did for Jerusalem. So much energy being spent on spinning the wheels of life. Stuck in a big bog of mud, they just move to move, not getting anywhere.

Just writing about it gives me a whole new perspective. Those poor people... just wandering on the same path day after day... just getting by. Well, I'm glad for one that I am not one of them... and secondly, I am now sad that they are trapped in systems that won't allow them to recognize a visitation. Guess I should have gone in there a little less concerned about my issues, and instead been looking for opportunities to be a light.

Fail.... but the day is not over.

To go deeper, the real issue behind the whole bad attitude is that I am still trying to provide for myself rather than trust God's provision. Raising my property taxes while income is declining created an automated defensive reaction. Asking me to do more for my employer when my income is declining also hit that same defensive reaction. Three separate trips to the same place with Diesel at $4/gallon really pushed the provision button. Were I in the place of trust and faith for God's provision, then I would have had a better chance to be a light and walk in love. I even though I know those people did not deserve for me to walk in love towards them, that is precisely why I should have.

Service - the work of God

John 1:43, "The next day He purposed to go into Galilee, and He found Philip. And Jesus said to him, "Follow Me."

"There are two things at least which are basically wrong and inevitably disastrous from the standpoint of true spiritual value: one is the regarding of the work of God as a set system, just as any commercial, industrial, or professional system is a vocation or calling (So much is heard about "entering the ministry," "taking up Christian work," "becoming a missionary," etc. - and this as static, organized, systematized); the other is going into service on the basis of an external appeal to the senses, the intellect, the emotions, the volition, by reason of a presentation to the ears or the eyes.... Moreover, every man and woman who has come up against spiritual realities in the service of God knows that it requires something stronger than hot air, electric atmosphere, vivid pictures, romantic conceptions, idealistic visions, mental impressions, and occasional stimulants for the will, to make them able to continue indefinitely and to be spiritually effective. No, in every way, the senses are an insufficient basis and a dangerous criterion.

The service of God, being spiritual, will always have an element of mystery about it. The mystery is this: the greater the degree of real spiritual effectiveness and value, and the more spiritually accountable a thing becomes, the less is it a thing that can be seen and handled by the senses and by the flesh - the less the elements and forms of human demonstration and natural appreciation.

Again and again we have marked the grievous tragedy of ministries - personal and otherwise - which were mighty in spiritual significance, that at length took on human significance and assumed forms of natural impressiveness at the expense of that essential value to God. Yes! It has grown big, expansive, famous. Yes! He or she has a name, a reputation, a following, a fame, and a position; but so often... oh, so often... at a cost of accountability amongst "principalities and powers" (This is where spiritual values are judged) which makes it all poor gain... and makes God's heart bleed...

...All-inclusively, only what God does Himself is God's service! This is basic to the entire revelation of the purposes of God in the whole Scriptures...

Only as all service is brought within the limits of this Divine ordering by a positive witness within the sanctified and quickened spirit of the "chosen vessel" can there be "the works of God" which alone count. This, on the other hand, rules out all our works.

Motive, good intent, laboriousness, enthusiasm "in the name of Jesus," "for the Kingdom," "in the interests of mankind," etc. - these do not count in the realm of "the eternal purpose in Christ Jesus" if they are our own activities... with our own natural resources. It must be "God who works within." ... We must be content to have our fruitfulness and spiritual value registered in the unseen... and not be dominated by the scales of values as set up by men on the earth."

T Austin-Sparks 1927

Normally I would not consider such a long quote except for the fact that is so ties into Who are You in the Story? The four talented orphans of that story regarded their talents as a set system to honor God. Not only did they regard their talents that way, they also assumed the audience. That their audience would arrive with pomp and circumstance and outwardly demonstrate fleshly superiority. The fifth orphan with the good heart temporarily tried to go into service of God with what looked appealing to her by asking to be taught someone else's skill. In the end, the fifth orphan was of the greatest spiritual value with an act that on the surface seems to not be entitled to any natural appreciation.

To me, what T Austin-Sparks is saying here is -- it doesn't matter what you do, or how you do it if the motivation is wrong. Jesus said, "follow me." That means getting up day after day, without necessarily a plan or direction and go with Him. On His whims, and on His path. What we do has to be done in obedience to God. Only in Obedience does it have spiritual significance. And if done in obedience, it in fact does have spiritual significance.

Please understand that this is the opportunity for everyone to serve God in every walk of life and profession. Building mega ministries has no spiritual reward unless done in obedience. Mega ministry is not the end all be all. To love in obedience is. Likewise pausing in the business of a day to love on an individual wherever they may be can have paramount spiritual rewards. The obedience to loving the least is where the reward is. The washing of a neighbor's feet in surrender is the service God requires.

What do you have that a person you will encounter today needs? Do you have time, wisdom, money, friendship, an open ear? Perhaps someone needs a meal or a ride. Do you have a word of encouragement or affirmation? Is there someone immediate to you that needs what God wants to give them through you? Respond to that tug on your heart when you feel it. Step out in faith. Don't walk away with the "I should have..." thought. Walk away knowing you obeyed, and who cares about how it looks, or what earthly significance it has.  The obedience alone will have eternal rewards for you.

Who are you in the story?

Matthew 25:40, "The King will answer and say to them, 'truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.'"      

During Iwo Jima ( a men's group) the other day one of the guys read a children's book. It is called Just the Way You Are by Max Lucado. It is a tale of 5 orphan brothers and sisters who catch the attention of the king, and who are to be adopted by him. Four of the five orphans have talents. They include painting, singing, craftsmenship, and intellect. The fifth orphan has no talent other than a good heart. So the four talented orphans prepare to greet the king for the first time by emersing themselves in their talent, I assume to impress the King with a gift. The fifth orphan goes to each asking to be taught by the other so that she too can have a gift for the king. All four reject her becuase they are too busy preparing.

Finally she goes to the gate of the city. A man arrives on a donkey. She graciously cares for the man and his donkey. He then goes into town and like the ophan sister is rejected by the four brother's and sisters because they are too busy. Upon returning to the fifth orphan he reveals to her that he was the king traveling incognito. He embraces the 5th orphan because of her heart without respect for her talent.

So the story is an entertaining tale of Christ as the King set to level of understanding for children. Or is it? Who are you in the story? Are you the fifth talentless orphan just willing to help, or are you one of the other four orphans too busy exercising your talent for a King you couldn't recognize if He showed up incognito? Or worse, are you one of the faceless, nameless bystanders not even mentioned in the story?

Me, I like to believe that I'm the fifth orphan. Unfortunately, if I am honest with myself I must admit there are numerous incidents where I am one of the four distracted orphans, lost in the self-importance of my talents, too good and too smart to associate with the lowly. But now that I am conscious of where I am, perhaps it will keep me from being too busy when the King or one of His adopted children comes calling.

I will close with this. I was in Pensacola at a youth conference years ago. We were singing a song that the lyrics said, "I want to open my eyes and see Your face." As I cried that to heaven I knew God was saying to me to open my eyes. As I looked around that packed arena I asked, where are You? I want to see Your face. It was then He conveyed, that looking into the face of everyone of those young people was looking into His.

Our visitation from the King happens all the time, and it is not with pomp and celebration. It is incognito, through the least of them. The beauty is we don't have to go and find Him. He comes and finds us. We just need to not be too busy in self-absorption to miss it.

Now it took quite an effort to find this song. It is "I Will Search For You" by Mike Motley. I would be honored for you to listen to it.

Follow the link and click the play button.CLICK HERE... WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? CLICK IT.  

Unlovable

Matthew 22:39 "...you shall love your neighbor as yourself."

I had every intention of posting a message of  mission/vision and multiplying, but God I guess had a very different idea. You see, today I had to go to court for a ticket. Well, several tickets, but that is beside the point. I was a little late getting there and ended up having to sit in the very front left in a seat that faces the pews of the courtroom. No big deal, it actually was some pretty good people watching. There in court room were 200 plus people from every walk of life, background, and ethnicity. Hour upon hour passed, dismissals happened and deals were made. My attorney said I would probably have to come back after the lunch break.

So I thought, how can I turn this waiting and people watching into an experience with God. It was then it came to me. Scanning the room I asked myself, why does God love that person? Or that person? In fact, I thought... I sure am glad He said to love my neighbor because none of these people fit into my little sub-culture, and certainly would not be found in my neighborhood. Don't get me wrong. I know God loves them, but felt some since of relief thinking that my unconditional love for them was unnecessary. That was it... no big revelation. My attorney got my tickets dismissed before lunch and I treated myself to some street tacos on Harrisburg St.

Harrisburg is a Hispanic part of town. And though I truly love the Hispanic people there are elements there, and places that are not nice at all. Once again I was appreciative of my country life and the little sub-culture that surrounds me. Glad I could come to Harrisburg for some good food, and that I didn't have to live there.

Next up was Iwo Jima meeting at 3:00pm. It's a men's group I attend in the Montrose area of Houston so there was not enough time to go home and come back. Other options exhausted I just went early.  After all, it does meet at Ecllesia Church and there is a coffee shop on the facility that is fairly nice. Turns out to that I ran into Jim between appointments, where he invited me to sit in on his next one. I marveled inside how Jim can communicate and love such a wide variety of people. After the appointment here comes another of Jim's friends. In tow is a... I don't even know how to describe him.- - A guy in tears hating life and wanting to die. He asks to talk to Jim and upon approval jumps in by saying I just need to have a breakdown. I hate life and I hate people. I found out 2 weeks ago I have HIV. I sat there silently, probably with a look of absolute horror. But Jim, he smiled and leaned in to hear more. So Greg, that's his name, went on. He asked Jim to be his mentor and Jim said, I will listen to you. So Greg says, I'm a homosexual, my lover is a transvestite and though she (he likes to be referred to as a she) has had HIV for 15 years I did not get it from her. I got if from sharing needles for IV drug use. At this point I am literally excusing myself to go to the bathroom. I had to wash my hands right then and there. Iwo Jima was coming up and if I played my cards right I could avoid the rest of the conversation.

So 10 minutes later we gathered in the other room for Iwo Jima. And there is Greg on Jim's invitation. After Prayer Jim say, go ahead and have your breakdown Greg. Then it began. On and on for 30- 45 min. Greg explained how he was raped and beaten by his father. At the age of 7 he was knocked unconscious by this vicious man only to wake up to a lighter, a box of filter-less cigarets, and a glass of Jack Daniels on the rocks. His dad said, there you go son. That's how I deal with it so you deal with it. He shot both his parents at nine. They didn't die, but he became property of the state. In and out of prison, mental hospitals, and 14 foster homes. He has been a male prostitute, a heroin addict, and nearly died dozens of times. He is missing a front tooth and has a few prison tattoos. There is more, but by my definition Greg is the absolute bottom of society. In the midst of detailing his past he kept saying I just want to be loved, will you love me? I don't want to be judged or criticized, will you love me? Andrew, will you love me? Jim, will you love me? Gary, will you love me? And there is where it hit me. This is what my entire day has been about. Will I love the unlovable? All I could think of was Jesus asking Peter in John 21:15-17 if Peter loved Him. If Greg asked me if I loved him what was I going to say? I wanted to say, hell no, you are unlovable. But instead I said, "What is love to you?" Pretty cute huh? Best avoidance of the day if you ask me.

But the avoidance was not helping. Not loving Greg was burning in me and I could not shake it. So Greg had his breakdown. Andrew led him in the sinners prayer and the meeting continued. Oops... nearly forgot. So Greg was on 36 pain killers for all of this and high as a kite. Jittery, shaking his hands, disjointed in his communication. But after praying with Andrew the distractions of his body movement went away. A fact I noticed later when Greg said he was not high anymore after praying.

So Jim is going around the room asking what is on everyone's heart. I am praying that he does not ask me because I know what's on my heart. That Greg is unlovable. And low and behold Jim does skip me and goes to Gary. Whoosh... a sigh of relief. Until Gary says, "I'm angry and don't know why." I questioned him why and he went on to say something to the effect of he thought it was because he was not loving people like he used to. That was it... I could not take it any more. I had to spill my heart or explode.

I told Greg, to me you are unlovable. But all I can see if Christ sitting across from me asking me if I am going to love Him. Just like He did with Peter. Jesus asked if Peter loved him unconditionally, and Peter replied that he had brotherly love for Jesus. Here was Greg, the most unlovable person in the world, asking me the same thing. I could do nothing but cry as I told him this. I concluded with I know that God wants me to hug you but I don't want to. He stood up and said, give me a hug. To which I did.