Philippians 3:8. "More than that, I count all things loss in the view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ."
It takes me about 3 hours to do my yard, the majority of it on my riding mower. During that time I have me headphones in and iPhone playing non-stop music. It is such a mindless task it really give me a lot of time to celebrate with the worship music and just pray. Today, somewhere in the 5 acres I realized what Ministry is all about. I was thinking, "what if I had a church, who would I want to come?"
Homosexuals... yes. Prostitutes... yes. Thieves... yes. Criminals... yes. Widows... yes. Children... yes. Rich.. yes. Poor... yes. If I had a church send everyone, and all the sinners.
And what would I do with this croud? Simply, just love them. Because frankly I don't care what the "problem" is. I know that if I can love the person, the the Holy Spirit has His opportunity to address the problem. If I had a church, I would want it built on 1 Peter 4:8 where it says, "above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins."
But I am not called to start a church, but there is no reason that this attempt to express love to a lost and dying world cannot be my ministry... my calling.
I'm getting it. I am understanding. And in that moment of understanding is the greatest since of love from heaven. In that continuing moment is the understanding that everything in my past is insignificant to this relationship to God. In that moment of understanding on the mower I asked myself. Would you rather have the millions you have lost, or this moment right now?
Frankly, that moment was worth 10 times what I have lost. And not only worth everything that I have lost, it is worth everything else I have to loose.
I see the light at the end of the tunnel. It is not an on coming train. It is not the other side of the mountain. It is in the lap of the Father, in the arms of His Son Jesus.
Ministry is loving people right where they are. Being a companion as God works His miracle. Not to create the miracle, perhaps be a part, but always a witness of what He is doing.
John 3:16, "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son..." & Romans 8:29, "and these whom He predestined, He also called, and these whom He called, He also justified, and these whom He justified, He also glorified."
After "Stuck," and my admitting to myself that don't love the majority of the people in the eclectic Wednesday group called Love Machine, I decided to take a different approach to this week's meeting. I decided to pray before hand and ask God to show me why He loves the individuals there. What an answer I got!
I was hoping for just a little nugget of truth. What I got was a full on buffet. And not just any buffet, an all you can eat buffet with everything on the menu being tasty.
The main entree of this love feast is a young lady that in weeks gone by feel under my judgmental eye. And to be frank, my judgments were not pretty. I don't know what is "wrong" with her, but there certainly was something in my opinion. There is nothing overtly offensive about her, she is just one of those people that I don't click with. Only at the end of this experience do I realize she is the star of God's show. That she is deserving of the title Miss Love Feast.
So today, Miss Love Feast tells us of a recent struggle with a friend of 14 years. A woman who has man issues. These man issues led their friendship to a very difficult spot where Miss Love Feast was put in a very awkward position to choose between her friend of 14 years, or the recently cast aside ex-lover of the friend. All things really side issues at this point. Miss Love was really just trying to rescue the part of her old-self she saw in her friend. Which led me to my question. I asked how did you get here? How did you escape whatever it was you escaped? Thinking the answer to her escape would be the answer for her friends escape.
What I got was a tale of innocence lost. I heard of a downward spiral in the adult entertainment industry that was getting worse when the random happened. It sounded to me like she had reached the point of being sucked into the sewer by the whirlpool of life's toilet. But God stepped in. She described a series of random events that began with a woman asking to borrow her internet, to miraculously being introduced to Love Machine and Jim Spivey. I was blown away. Undeniably God loves her so much that He snatched her out of literally the pits of hell. I witnessed her predestination, calling, justification, and glorification in this unconscious testimony. I had to ask, why does God love you so much to pull you so miraculously out of that destruction? And she doesn't know.
Which is a bite on the buffet of love. If you ask me why I love my children I can not give you an answer, but I do. And if you asked my children why their dad loves them I would hope they would say they don't know why, but he love us. That is how God's love is. It is unexplainable. And really it is unnecessary to explain it beyond its presence. And so as I moved down the buffet not really understanding this lesson yet, I pleasantly got to take a bite of a completely different form of love.
I had invited to the meeting a pastor I know. I will call him Pastor Fountain because he is a fountain of God's word. A NEVER ENDING fountain of God's word. Full of truth and A LOT OF IT. (get the picture) Suddenly the fountain gets the floor and here comes scripture to address Miss Love Feast's dilemma.
Every word was true, but I was struggling to not cut him off. To not stop him, and explain my rules of love machine. On and on he went, and in spite of my looks to shut up he continued. I was thinking that the word of God is good, but only when seasoned with love. I didn't feel Pastor Fountain was walking in love. At the end of his sermon Jim spoke up.
Before Jim's Grandfather would sexually abuse him, he would preach the bible at him. That put a pretty bad taste in Jim's mouth for preachy people. I have a lot of people that I associate with that have been victimized by people wielding the Bible without love. But Jim has overcome that past experience, and I have learned from his different approach. He explained his feelings, but that he let his feelings become thoughts, and he let his thoughts settle until he could hear the truth. The truth was that Pastor Fountain was saying I love you, just in a whole lot more words than any of us would use.
So today I discovered that God loves Miss Love Feast so much that He would snatch her out of a lifestyle and into His life. I discovered that it is not important why God loves us, but that He does. And I discovered that those expressions of His love come in many, many forms. Sometimes it comes in a simple hug, years of being drawn closer to Him, and even wordy messages of truth. Probably most importantly, I discovered that if you will take the time to learn how God has loved someone, it makes it super easy to love them too.
It was a good, good day!
Now I had finished this post when through the internet came my desert from this buffet of love. I was wondering if the random person who introduced Miss Love Feast to Christ through Jim and Love Machine knew of the great work for God that she had done. I wondered and prayed, and thought how wonderful it would be for her to share in this. And I got this message from Miss Love Feast. It said, "I told her about today's love machine, and how I know God put her in my life that day to save my life."
I am full as a tick on this incredible feast of love. I am also really enjoying reporting on humanity as it interacts with God.
Matthew 10:35, "For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law."
Have you ever wondered if it hurts for a caterpillar to turn into a butterfly. I have a sneaking suspicion it does. Yesterday I heard one of the saddest stories of my lifetime as a son and as a Christian. It was to me the embodiment of today's passage.
I heard the story of a man who grew up in Indonesia as the son of an American missionary. As a teen he moved to US where his dad became a Pastor in one of the meccas of his denomination. Somewhere along the line something went tragically wrong. His dad went through an unknown crisis. The result was divorcing his wife of 20+ years, abandoning his family to return to Indonesia where he converted to Islam. On the other side of the relationship it appears his mother went the exact opposite with her life. She buried herself deeper in the doctrine of her denomination. She has become dogmatic to the point of alienating this one son. What a struggle this has created from my new friend.
It's one thing to have faith around those who love you. To go to church on a Sunday and share some common beliefs. It is a whole other thing to have faith in the absence of the same. Can you imagine having a father who taught you everything he knows with conviction, to suddenly forsake that conviction is such a dramatic way? Can you imagine having that while simultaneously having a mother reject you because you are not Christian enough?
This is cruelty beyond comprehension until you get a taste of this man's heart discovery. I almost asked him to give me something he had written. It was a beautiful account of the internal struggle. The struggle to turn the other check, and to love in spirit in the midst of such a surreal conflict. It is a transformation that I got to see in part today. It was like looking into the cocoon and seeing the butterfly before it's complete. I thank everyone involved for allowing me to be a part.
If you are thinking Stockholm Syndrome at this point then we are not thinking alike. I am thinking "I came to set man against father." Here is a man living that scripture and seeing the "I" in it. He is deep in the arms of the "I am" because of it. It hurts, it's trans-formative, but it is also beautiful.
"A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief." Isaiah 53:3 Of which Oswald Chambers says,"We are not acquainted with grief in the way in which Our Lord was acquainted with it; we endure it, we get through it, but we do not become intimate with it." My friend above, like Christ has become very intimate with it.
Matthew 11:7-9, "...Jesus began to speak to the crowds about John, 'What did you go out into the wilderness and see? A reed shaken by the wind? But what did you go out and see? A man dressed in soft clothing?... But what did you go out to see? A prophet?..."
Recently my parents were given a house full of furniture in lieu of rent. From the picture, and at a distance everything looked really nice. Upon closer inspection; in the arms of us movers, and under the scrutiny of sweat, it was not as nice as seen from the pictures.
In comes the Holy Spirit and we all hear something very similar in our spirits... What is wrong with this picture?
For my mom the furniture was representative of the worldly principle of looking good on the outside, but that close inspection reveals a different more damaged perspective. Guess you could call it a lesson that things are not always as they appear.
For me I thought, wow these people took some stuff that was average and made it look spectacular. They made the most of the gift God had given them. On top of that had no physical attachment to it, but were rather people of honor trying to fulfill their obligation anyway possible.
I asked God why the different perspectives between two people who love you? What can be observed from inside the kingdom of God? Not just the outside hearing the Holy Spirit saying something is wrong. The answer I got was surprising.
When you are observing from inside the kingdom of God the only thing wrong with the picture is you. Everything else is perfect.
How many times has the Holy Spirit asked you, what is wrong with this picture? How many times have you assumed you knew what was wrong? How many times have you thought the answer was you? I am not a psychologists, but I know that contained in our judgements of others is always a judgment of ourselves. This thought gives new meaning to judge not lest you be judged. It is our judgments that judge ourselves. Said another way, our judgements are about ourselves, we only broadcast them onto others.
The people of Jesus' time went to the wilderness expecting to see one thing, and they got John the Baptist. So to we go to the kingdom of God in prayer, expecting to see one thing. Expecting have our will imposed on the earth. Expecting to see what is wrong with everyone and everything else. But what we get is God's perfection while our expectations (judgments) only reveal our own weaknesses and flaws.
I saw something in the people's giving up the furniture not present in myself, a godly trait I don't have. I saw people willing to let go. Others may see something that is present. Regardless, remember that in the kingdom of God we are the problem. We are the ones with the logs in our own eyes. From that perspective we are more inclined to judge correctly.
Romans 8:15, "For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, "Abba! Father!"
How could I let a Father's Day pass without giving honor to my Dad. It seems that the older I get the more I realize any and all of my negative judgments of him growing up were really just my own frailties and faults being magnified. Reality is God gave me one of the absolute best examples of Himself. Oh my Dad is not perfect, but God knew he was perfect for me. I truly am blessed!
Father's Day also stirs some other thoughts. Thoughts of hurting for those who had horrible fathers, or no fathers at all. I think of Mr Unlovable and the hundreds of men I have met in my few trips to prison to minister. I think about some of the characters on TV, all complaining and blaming there fathers. One lady I met recently said, "maybe I can't understand the love of God because my Dad was so bad." So for those with crappy fathers I say, God has many more loving fathers for you in this lifetime.
One other major thought today is about my children. I sincerely pray that I somehow honor my Dad the way that my children bring me honor. When I think of Hugh, Sarah, & Katherine (adult children) I give a fist pump and say YES!!!! The plan is coming together and they are my legacy. For Isaac, well he's a little young yet, but with God's help he is going to turn out great as well. And don't let me forget Lauren (Jamie's Daughter). Our relationship is daily evolving into something completely beautiful.
I think of the Fathers how have gone on before us. Thank you Lord that this world is temporary. That beyond is something eternal. Somewhere we will get to be with our Fathers and THE FATHER forever.
Finally to The Father. Daddy, we love you so much. You are magnificent. Your wisdom is beyond comprehension. Thank you... thank you for loving us. Everyday is your Father's Day.
2 Timothy 2:7, "Consider what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything."
Most Christians of all denominations and faith acknowledge the Holy Spirit to one degree or another. They accept that He is our helper and guide, and know that sometimes our thoughts are not our own, but placed there by the Holy Spirit. This gives us a counter voice to the voice of the world. What I would propose is that if the Holy Spirit is our facilitator to hearing God, then the kingdom of God is our facilitator to seeing.
Sounds a bit like herasy, but follow me on this one. God is light. Light is energy and mass. God is, and His light emits from Him. Where that light goes is His kingdom. The Holy Spirit operates not only in the kingdom, but beyond it's borders to call people out of the darkness. Darkness is the absense of light, and thus to be outside the kingdom of God. With me so far?
Now scripture can be read with the help of the Holy Spirit. Take for example the parable of the talents. The master gives the slaves talents (6000 days wages) expecting them to invest the money. Upon the master's return he comes to collect. The ones who grew the talents were rewarded. The ones who did nothing had it taken away. With the Holy Spirit we know talents are not just money. With the Holy Spirit we know that the master is the Master, namely Jesus Christ. Now let's open our eyes. Let's look at the scripture from inside the kingdom.
Inside the kingdom we know everything is spiritual. Therefore we know that the talents are nothing earthly. The talent may be mercy, patience, giving, comforting, understanding... anything that is a character of God, or anything that God can imagine. It is not money, education, intellect. For me, God has said my talent is shameless surrender. Therefore it is my obligation, under the kingdom principle to not only use that talent, but use it in such a way that it grows. That others learn or recognize it in themselves.
Don't believe me? Look at Matthew 19:24. Jesus says, "Again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Again, with kingdom Eyes... where is the rich man going? To the kingdom of God... not a place in the future, but a place here and now. A place that fills us as we enter. And again because the kingdom of God is spiritual we know that a rich person is not only monetary wealth. Riches are anything in abundance that we rely on more than God. Again it can be intellect, education, training... anything. You see the eye of a needle was a physical place. It was in the gate of a khan at Nazareth. It was intended for foot traffic, but for a camel to go through it must be unpacked of its load. So too a man that relies on the earthy treasures must be unpacked before entering and understanding this kingdom of God principle. The more education you have, the harder it is to unpack. The more money you have the harder it is to unpack.Once on the other side the camel maybe reloaded. God may have us pick up and use the natural talents and gifts, but only after them being laid down. Just like Abraham laid down Isaac.
I have a lot of financial training. I am in a financial crisis because God is helping me unpack all that physical training and education so that I can enter through the eye of the needle into the kingdom of God where I will see and understand Him as my Provider and Provision.
I will close with something from my sight coach Jim Spivey, "What I “see,” thanks to Him, I can sometimes have a hard time convincing other people of, because it is not readily “apparent.” The only “place” from which I will desperately struggle to do so is the place that has lost touch with His vision. Clear and in direct contact, there is no drama, for the answer He gave one, He gave all, and it is not my job to manipulate, force, or control access. It is my job to simply point to the door and invite entry."
Hebrews 11:1, "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."
If I am truly to be a "minister" then one of the functions that I should be good at is articulating spiritual truths so that they can have practical application to life. Yet when I delve into the subject of the kingdom of God I find that my understanding is far deeper than my ability to articulate. Therefore it becomes very refreshing when I find a predecessor who has said the very thing I find indescribable.
Once again T Austin-Sparks has the words I am looking for. He said, "Paralysis, defeat, disaster have always been consequent upon judgment after the sight of the eyes (the eyes of the natural senses). Victory has always issued sooner or later from someone's assurance of and discernment of the Divine resources and realities behind all else. " In other words, when negative happens it is because we have looked at the situation from natural laws and observations. But when the results are victory, or a pleasing outcome then we have acted spiritual or divine laws and observation.
Circumstances can be identical but the perception is what is important. It was not because the Israelites were looking at their circumstances in the flesh that they became surrounded and trapped by a sea, mountains, and an army. The entrapment was going to happen regardless. It was their lack of spiritual vision that caused them to panic and fear and not see the victory coming.
Jesus said in John 16:33 "... have peace, In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." Why do we remain surprised by the tribulation? Why to we blame other's tribulation on a lack of righteousness? They are unrelated. The world brings trials. To never venture through them is inescapable. But as inescapable as the trials are, God is always there providing an escape and opportunity to overcome. He is always providing an opportunity to observe them from a kingdom of God perspective. The ultimate overcoming is moving closer to Him in relationship and deeper into the kingdom of God.
Dealing with these trials is what has to change. Natural laws create the issues and to rely on natural laws (natural sight) to escape is never the answer. We must rely on spiritual laws. We must see with out spirits.
I like the story in 2 Kings 6:16-17. King Aram has sent his army to capture the prophet Elisha. It is Elisha and his servant against horses and chariots. This is what happens. Elisha answered, "Do not fear, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them. (In the natural 2 v. great army) Then Elisha prayed and said, 'O Lord, I pray, open his eyes that he may see.' And the Lord opened the servant's eyes and he saw; behold the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.
The are always two things at work. The world & the kingdom of God. As our ego dies, the kingdom grows within us, along with our ability to see it. But the man/woman of God "who has a firsthand fellowship with God sees the mountains round about filled with "the chariots of Israel and the horsemen thereof." (T Austin-Sparks)
Open my eyes God! Open our eyes God! When you find yourself staring defeat and disaster in the face, ask God to open you eyes. Open yours eyes to His kingdom, and what is really happening. See His victory, feel His love, enjoy His peace.
John 5:19, "Therefore Jesus answered and was saying to them, 'Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, unless it is something He sees the Father doing; for whatever the Father does, these things the Son also does in like manner."
I have discovered that the recent posts on love are spiritually provocative, and a little bit controversial. On one level pure, perfect, agape love represents the unattainable. And because it is unattainable, then perhaps these discussions are pointless. Perhaps it is too difficult a task for any individual to look in the mirror and honestly say to themselves I can never achieve perfect agape love. But reality is this is the very thing that needs to happen. Until we can look in the mirror and say that very thing we will never experience it.
T Austin Sparks wrote in 1927, "...it is necessary to settle it once and for all that we, in ourselves, will never be overcomers, and that opens the way for the whole of this theme and its reality of meaning to come from the Lord to us. There is only one Overcomer in the universe, and that is the Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and if there are ever any other overcomers, they will not be others at all, they will simply be the extension of His overcoming — the expansion of His victory." Until we can admit this truth to ourselves I fail to see how we can ever overcome the arrogance of our ego to truly love. (Please understand that I use self, ego, and flesh interchangeably and believe them to be the same inner man referred to in scripture.) In admitting our weakness, acknowledging Christ strength, then God's perfect love can begin to work in us. Leading to the second point.
Obedience to God is what makes the "act" of love perfect. But how can we obey when the voice is still and the vision is as in a mirror dimly? Jesus did it with a perfect connection to God. He did and said what the Father did and said. Hear the words of Christ, "the Son can do nothing of Himself." Even the love shown by Jesus was not His own, but belonged to the father. So what then of this obedience? Is obedience the barrier that prevents us from loving?
I think not. This is one of the many paradoxes of life. God loves us, so that we can love others, so that God can love us again, and so that we can love others. The relationship is critical, but the acts of love become a reflection of what we see the Father to be. The perfect acts of love are God's light shining through us in His act of first love. So the spiritual reality is that obedience is not a limiting factor because we can only reflect what we see. We can only obey what we hear, and it is God's responsibility to speak as much as we have responsibility to hear. Bringing us to the final component or point.
Without faith it is impossible to please God. Because we see poorly, if at all, and because we hear poorly, if at all... we must have faith to fill the gap. The spiritual "thought" has to be seasoned with faith inorder to become an act of love. We love in faithful obedience knowing that even if not a perfect act of love, God will cause it all to work together for good.
Lets jump to the practical. If we will approach life with the attitude of being in relationship to God, then we will find the opportunities to be a refection of His love. This does not have to be done a church, on the mission field, or in any other "institution" of Christianity. This can, and is to be done, right where you are. How about the Boss who takes the file clerk to lunch and just listens to them? Or the file clerk who on the way home throws a quarter into the beggar's cup? These can be practical acts of love triggered by God's tug on the heart. To yield to that tug is the faith that makes the act love. The act can be anything, and in any direction. I am reminded of a story I heard about Abraham Lincoln. It was of an old lady making him cry with her gift of cookies. He was used to people coming to his office wanting something. This woman just wanted to bring him some cookies. The tears were obviously an acknowledgment of the love.
Last I will share this. My mom text-ed me the other day that she wanted to pay my phone bill. This was absolutely an act of God's agape love. Not because it is my mom. Not because it met a need. It was an act of God's love because she did not know the bill was not paid, and hours from being cut off. This was God saying to me... I love you and your quest to discover Me as both provision and Provider will not go unanswered. Equally, had she know those facts, I would not have received it as love, but rather her attempt to fix the situation. I'm not looking for my situation to be fixed. I am looking for God's love, so that I can love, and be loved again... continuously by God.
Who can you show the love of Christ to today?
If you need love, or prayer, please feel free to contact me.
1 John 4:8, " The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love."
I cannot escape thinking about Agape love. It sounds stupid, but the totality of all my life's experiences and thoughts of love are but a fraction of what I see love to be today. It as if God has hung this proverbial carrot out in front of me and said, come and get it. I see something out there I have never fully experienced, nor fully observed in this lifetime. Oh sure, my definition of love has been met and seen thousands of times. But God's definition of love... frankly I have mainly read about it in the life of Christ. Oh there are times when I taste it, but that taste is the little baby spoon for the sample at the ice cream counter. I can see that there is a four scoop banana split of love out there. That's what I want to take a bite of.
What is this love? Oswald Chambers says that it has a degree of spontaneity. That true, pure love is not something that is planned. 1 Corinthians says it is patient, kind, not jealous, does not brag, not arrogant, doesn't act unbecomingly, does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, rejoices in truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, and never fails. 1 John tells us God is love and if we don't love then we don't know God. Jesus said there was no greater love than to lay down one's life for another.
What fascinates me more at the moment is not what love is, but what love is not. For example, no where does it say love is never angry, or love is compassionate. Both feelings the bible is clear that Christ had. Love is not necessarily giving advice. Love is not even giving a hand out. Though advice and a hand out could be considered kindness, they could equally be unkind if the advice is misguided, or the handout is enabling. There is not an absolute that love is doing what someone wants. It does not say that love teaches... though this could be an act of love. It does not say love is feeding the hungry. It does not say love is giving to the poor. Though Christ clearly gave to the poor, He also did not give when it was suggested by Judas that perfume used on Him should be sold for that purpose. On the contrary Jesus replied, "you will always have the poor with you." So in the reality of life there are a lot of acts, and omissions for that matter, that may or may not be love. What makes them love or not is if God (who is love) is behind them. So love, the love of God, also has an element of obedience to it.
Can we conclude that if we know God through salvation then we will experience His love? Can we also conclude that if we have experienced His love then we will also be able to express that love? Can we also conclude if we are to express love correctly then God will have to communicate what the correct act is?
Now throw into the mix that loving God, and loving our neighbor as ourselves are the only two commandments. And Jesus says that in exercising these commandments His burden is easy and His load is light. Therefore should the acts of love that God commands not be horrifically burdensome? Oh you can be certain that pure love will absolutely confront our egos, and never allow us to be seeking our own. But beyond that beautiful experience of dying to self, of ego being defeated, shouldn't love be easy? Answer... love is only easy for a dead man, an ego-less man.
1 Corinthians 13:8-10, "Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect (love) comes, the partial will be done away."
I was baptized catholic, grew up going to a Methodists church while attending a Church of Christ elementary school. Only to be switched to an Assembly of God church and a Catholic High school. Later, as an adult, attended various non-denominational churches, a post denominational church, to where I am now. I have attended over 3000 services, and spent 2 years in ministry school. I have read my bible cover to cover multiple times. I would like to believe that I have experienced all that religion has to offer from the systematic to the charismatic. I have attended faith services, repentance services, bible churches, revival services, deliverance conferences, pretty much all that I care to. Unlike many of my predecessors I don't condemn any congregation for specializing or focusing on one area. In fact, to this day I maintain relationships with people I met along the way -- all the way back to that Church of Christ Elementary School and everywhere in between. Good, godly individuals to whom anyone could emulate and achieve heaven.
All that training, teaching, learning, seeking... and still I only occasionally touch true pure agape love. That extra special, unconditional love completely lacking in any selfish motivation like with Mr. Unlovable. Why is this? 1 John 4:19 says, "We love, because He first loved us." Perhaps I have not truly tasted God's love and therefore incapable of giving it to its fullness.
I can't help but wonder if the last 30 years of Christianity for me were spent with too much majoring on the minor and minoring on the major. Why haven't I studied this unconditional love? After all, according to scripture it is the highest gift. Reality is all those things build to love. Unconditional love is somehow accomplished on the backside of all the minor lessons. And more importantly I appears to be found, like God, at the very end of ourselves. Only in this death of ego have I ever experienced this true agape love.
This all reminds me a paraplegic paper salesman that back in my rich days would benefit from me giving him $100 a week. Then one week I didn't have any cash on me, and I saw him feebly trying to sell papers once again from his wheelchair. In my heart I felt like I was supposed to talk to him. Reluctantly I parked and made my way to the middle of the 8 lanes of traffic. Not knowing what to say I decided to try and help him sell papers. 30 minutes or more passed, and I didn't sell a paper. So I asked the paper salesman his name.
His name is Julius. Curious, I asked how he ended up in the wheelchair. He explained that he was shot in the neck in a drug deal gone bad. Concerned about how he gets by I asked how does the sell the papers, because business seemed bad.
It was then he explained that he only sells on that side of the street until 10:00am and then move to the other side where it is much better. I asked why until 10am. He said about once a week a guy comes buy and gives him $100 and he needs to be there cause it's his lucky spot. I told him I was the guy. He could not thank me enough. I felt embarrassed. I only gave him the money in obedience to the compassion God was putting on my heart. So I told him, don't thank me, thank God... He's the one who told me to do it.
Agape love - - God loves Julius enough to send him provision. God loves me enough to send me out there to get the whole story, to experience the unconditional love. How do I find this love everyday? How do I be this love everyday? Isn't that what God wants us all to be?
Luke 19:41-44, "When He approached Jerusalem, He saw the city and wept over it saying, "... because you did not recognize the time of your visitation."
I am convinced that if it weren't for people I would be able to walk in agape love. (LOL) In fact not only walk in love, but not miss my visitation. But as it is, the world is full of people, and thus this path to love is proving to have some very steep uphill battles.
Like the people at Quest Diagnostics. I needed a drug screen for my employer. I arrived the other day at 4:03pm, and was told they would not do my test because they stop them at 4:00pm in spite of being open from 6:30AM to 5:00PM. Only to be turned away again the following morning at 8:30AM because they don't start drug screen tests until 10:00AM. There certainly was no common sense or customer service in any of it, and as a result I was a little fit to be tied. Forget the injustice that I have to even take the test when police, teachers, congressmen, judges, doctors... people in places of importance don't have to suffer the same humiliation.
But that experience was to be outdone moments later by the folks at Montgomery County Appraisal District. Some might say they are only doing their job. Well once again I had a gigantic encounter with a void of common sense and customer service. In fact, that whole experience seems to be an encounter with yet another completely corrupt, or at least gerrymandered system operated by people who not only support it, but simultaneously derive some twisted sense of enjoyment.
But what would Jesus do? I know if I was Jesus what I would do. Can anyone say, hell fire and brimstone? But I'm not Him, and unfortunately once again His word is more right than my attitude. I think Jesus would probably weep at the whole lot, just like He did for Jerusalem. So much energy being spent on spinning the wheels of life. Stuck in a big bog of mud, they just move to move, not getting anywhere.
Just writing about it gives me a whole new perspective. Those poor people... just wandering on the same path day after day... just getting by. Well, I'm glad for one that I am not one of them... and secondly, I am now sad that they are trapped in systems that won't allow them to recognize a visitation. Guess I should have gone in there a little less concerned about my issues, and instead been looking for opportunities to be a light.
Fail.... but the day is not over.
To go deeper, the real issue behind the whole bad attitude is that I am still trying to provide for myself rather than trust God's provision. Raising my property taxes while income is declining created an automated defensive reaction. Asking me to do more for my employer when my income is declining also hit that same defensive reaction. Three separate trips to the same place with Diesel at $4/gallon really pushed the provision button. Were I in the place of trust and faith for God's provision, then I would have had a better chance to be a light and walk in love. I even though I know those people did not deserve for me to walk in love towards them, that is precisely why I should have.
John 1:43, "The next day He purposed to go into Galilee, and He found Philip. And Jesus said to him, "Follow Me."
"There are two things at least which are basically wrong and inevitably disastrous from the standpoint of true spiritual value: one is the regarding of the work of God as a set system, just as any commercial, industrial, or professional system is a vocation or calling (So much is heard about "entering the ministry," "taking up Christian work," "becoming a missionary," etc. - and this as static, organized, systematized); the other is going into service on the basis of an external appeal to the senses, the intellect, the emotions, the volition, by reason of a presentation to the ears or the eyes.... Moreover, every man and woman who has come up against spiritual realities in the service of God knows that it requires something stronger than hot air, electric atmosphere, vivid pictures, romantic conceptions, idealistic visions, mental impressions, and occasional stimulants for the will, to make them able to continue indefinitely and to be spiritually effective. No, in every way, the senses are an insufficient basis and a dangerous criterion.
The service of God, being spiritual, will always have an element of mystery about it. The mystery is this: the greater the degree of real spiritual effectiveness and value, and the more spiritually accountable a thing becomes, the less is it a thing that can be seen and handled by the senses and by the flesh - the less the elements and forms of human demonstration and natural appreciation.
Again and again we have marked the grievous tragedy of ministries - personal and otherwise - which were mighty in spiritual significance, that at length took on human significance and assumed forms of natural impressiveness at the expense of that essential value to God. Yes! It has grown big, expansive, famous. Yes! He or she has a name, a reputation, a following, a fame, and a position; but so often... oh, so often... at a cost of accountability amongst "principalities and powers" (This is where spiritual values are judged) which makes it all poor gain... and makes God's heart bleed...
...All-inclusively, only what God does Himself is God's service! This is basic to the entire revelation of the purposes of God in the whole Scriptures...
Only as all service is brought within the limits of this Divine ordering by a positive witness within the sanctified and quickened spirit of the "chosen vessel" can there be "the works of God" which alone count. This, on the other hand, rules out all our works.
Motive, good intent, laboriousness, enthusiasm "in the name of Jesus," "for the Kingdom," "in the interests of mankind," etc. - these do not count in the realm of "the eternal purpose in Christ Jesus" if they are our own activities... with our own natural resources. It must be "God who works within." ... We must be content to have our fruitfulness and spiritual value registered in the unseen... and not be dominated by the scales of values as set up by men on the earth."
T Austin-Sparks 1927
Normally I would not consider such a long quote except for the fact that is so ties into Who are You in the Story? The four talented orphans of that story regarded their talents as a set system to honor God. Not only did they regard their talents that way, they also assumed the audience. That their audience would arrive with pomp and circumstance and outwardly demonstrate fleshly superiority. The fifth orphan with the good heart temporarily tried to go into service of God with what looked appealing to her by asking to be taught someone else's skill. In the end, the fifth orphan was of the greatest spiritual value with an act that on the surface seems to not be entitled to any natural appreciation.
To me, what T Austin-Sparks is saying here is -- it doesn't matter what you do, or how you do it if the motivation is wrong. Jesus said, "follow me." That means getting up day after day, without necessarily a plan or direction and go with Him. On His whims, and on His path. What we do has to be done in obedience to God. Only in Obedience does it have spiritual significance. And if done in obedience, it in fact does have spiritual significance.
Please understand that this is the opportunity for everyone to serve God in every walk of life and profession. Building mega ministries has no spiritual reward unless done in obedience. Mega ministry is not the end all be all. To love in obedience is. Likewise pausing in the business of a day to love on an individual wherever they may be can have paramount spiritual rewards. The obedience to loving the least is where the reward is. The washing of a neighbor's feet in surrender is the service God requires.
What do you have that a person you will encounter today needs? Do you have time, wisdom, money, friendship, an open ear? Perhaps someone needs a meal or a ride. Do you have a word of encouragement or affirmation? Is there someone immediate to you that needs what God wants to give them through you? Respond to that tug on your heart when you feel it. Step out in faith. Don't walk away with the "I should have..." thought. Walk away knowing you obeyed, and who cares about how it looks, or what earthly significance it has. The obedience alone will have eternal rewards for you.
1 Peter 2:20, "For what credit is there if, when you sin and are harshly treated, you endure it with patience? But when you do what is right and suffer for it you patiently endure it, this finds favor with God."
Monday was a miserable day. Eight adults braving 103 degree heat to load a 24 foot moving van floor to ceiling, front to back. Plus an additional 3 pickup trucks full of more trappings. Seven miserable hours of back breaking, body aching work.
Have I told you how much I hate moving? I hate moving so much I would rather be staked out in a desert, drizzled with honey so the fire ants will eat my sun burned flesh as buzzards feast on my eyeballs. Even with this moving enmity, I still did it. I helped my parents out of obligation, and did it bitching and moaning the whole time. I voiced repeatedly that the only people being blessed were the ones who gave my folks the furniture in lieu of rent. Ruining any hope of eternal rewards for the act as there was zero patience or endurance in the day. Even though the end results was a couple of thousands of dollars worth of furniture given to me.
In fact the former tenant came by as we toiled. My brother in law engaged him first. He said, "you sure have a lot of heavy furniture." With a big smile the tenant said, "No you do." Me, I had to ask. Why give up all this furniture. The tenant proudly replied. "We are going with a minimalists lifestyle. We moved from 6000 sq ft to here, and from here to 1400 sq ft. apartment. We don't need it." Now this guy has it right.
I could go off on a self-righteous rant at this point, talking for the evils of stuff. Complain of the efforts to move someoneelse's crap. But that really wouldn't be truthful to myself.
Reality is I, like you, am human. I can have a bad day. And it ok... it's not the end of the world or my salvation. I could write about repentance and being sorry, and though this might make my Dad happy it would not be truthful either.
Monday happened. I complained... a lot. But at the end of the day everyone there still loves me. They will still talk to me, still help me out if I need it. And something else... if they need to move furniture again, I will unfortunately be there helping. Even if only out of obligation.
This tale should serve as a reminder to the few dozen of you that follow this blog daily. Never read this because of who the author is. Read it because it inspires spiritual growth, because it accomplishes its task of allow the reader, and the writer, to know Christ more.
Matthew 22:39 "...you shall love your neighbor as yourself."
I had every intention of posting a message of mission/vision and multiplying, but God I guess had a very different idea. You see, today I had to go to court for a ticket. Well, several tickets, but that is beside the point. I was a little late getting there and ended up having to sit in the very front left in a seat that faces the pews of the courtroom. No big deal, it actually was some pretty good people watching. There in court room were 200 plus people from every walk of life, background, and ethnicity. Hour upon hour passed, dismissals happened and deals were made. My attorney said I would probably have to come back after the lunch break.
So I thought, how can I turn this waiting and people watching into an experience with God. It was then it came to me. Scanning the room I asked myself, why does God love that person? Or that person? In fact, I thought... I sure am glad He said to love my neighbor because none of these people fit into my little sub-culture, and certainly would not be found in my neighborhood. Don't get me wrong. I know God loves them, but felt some since of relief thinking that my unconditional love for them was unnecessary. That was it... no big revelation. My attorney got my tickets dismissed before lunch and I treated myself to some street tacos on Harrisburg St.
Harrisburg is a Hispanic part of town. And though I truly love the Hispanic people there are elements there, and places that are not nice at all. Once again I was appreciative of my country life and the little sub-culture that surrounds me. Glad I could come to Harrisburg for some good food, and that I didn't have to live there.
Next up was Iwo Jima meeting at 3:00pm. It's a men's group I attend in the Montrose area of Houston so there was not enough time to go home and come back. Other options exhausted I just went early. After all, it does meet at Ecllesia Church and there is a coffee shop on the facility that is fairly nice. Turns out to that I ran into Jim between appointments, where he invited me to sit in on his next one. I marveled inside how Jim can communicate and love such a wide variety of people. After the appointment here comes another of Jim's friends. In tow is a... I don't even know how to describe him.- - A guy in tears hating life and wanting to die. He asks to talk to Jim and upon approval jumps in by saying I just need to have a breakdown. I hate life and I hate people. I found out 2 weeks ago I have HIV. I sat there silently, probably with a look of absolute horror. But Jim, he smiled and leaned in to hear more. So Greg, that's his name, went on. He asked Jim to be his mentor and Jim said, I will listen to you. So Greg says, I'm a homosexual, my lover is a transvestite and though she (he likes to be referred to as a she) has had HIV for 15 years I did not get it from her. I got if from sharing needles for IV drug use. At this point I am literally excusing myself to go to the bathroom. I had to wash my hands right then and there. Iwo Jima was coming up and if I played my cards right I could avoid the rest of the conversation.
So 10 minutes later we gathered in the other room for Iwo Jima. And there is Greg on Jim's invitation. After Prayer Jim say, go ahead and have your breakdown Greg. Then it began. On and on for 30- 45 min. Greg explained how he was raped and beaten by his father. At the age of 7 he was knocked unconscious by this vicious man only to wake up to a lighter, a box of filter-less cigarets, and a glass of Jack Daniels on the rocks. His dad said, there you go son. That's how I deal with it so you deal with it. He shot both his parents at nine. They didn't die, but he became property of the state. In and out of prison, mental hospitals, and 14 foster homes. He has been a male prostitute, a heroin addict, and nearly died dozens of times. He is missing a front tooth and has a few prison tattoos. There is more, but by my definition Greg is the absolute bottom of society. In the midst of detailing his past he kept saying I just want to be loved, will you love me? I don't want to be judged or criticized, will you love me? Andrew, will you love me? Jim, will you love me? Gary, will you love me? And there is where it hit me. This is what my entire day has been about. Will I love the unlovable? All I could think of was Jesus asking Peter in John 21:15-17 if Peter loved Him. If Greg asked me if I loved him what was I going to say? I wanted to say, hell no, you are unlovable. But instead I said, "What is love to you?" Pretty cute huh? Best avoidance of the day if you ask me.
But the avoidance was not helping. Not loving Greg was burning in me and I could not shake it. So Greg had his breakdown. Andrew led him in the sinners prayer and the meeting continued. Oops... nearly forgot. So Greg was on 36 pain killers for all of this and high as a kite. Jittery, shaking his hands, disjointed in his communication. But after praying with Andrew the distractions of his body movement went away. A fact I noticed later when Greg said he was not high anymore after praying.
So Jim is going around the room asking what is on everyone's heart. I am praying that he does not ask me because I know what's on my heart. That Greg is unlovable. And low and behold Jim does skip me and goes to Gary. Whoosh... a sigh of relief. Until Gary says, "I'm angry and don't know why." I questioned him why and he went on to say something to the effect of he thought it was because he was not loving people like he used to. That was it... I could not take it any more. I had to spill my heart or explode.
I told Greg, to me you are unlovable. But all I can see if Christ sitting across from me asking me if I am going to love Him. Just like He did with Peter. Jesus asked if Peter loved him unconditionally, and Peter replied that he had brotherly love for Jesus. Here was Greg, the most unlovable person in the world, asking me the same thing. I could do nothing but cry as I told him this. I concluded with I know that God wants me to hug you but I don't want to. He stood up and said, give me a hug. To which I did.
