Nothing Lost

Philippians 3:8. "More than that, I count all things loss in the view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ."

It takes me about 3 hours to do my yard, the majority of it on my riding mower. During that time I have me headphones in and iPhone playing non-stop music. It is such a mindless task it really give me a lot of time to celebrate with the worship music and just pray. Today, somewhere in the 5 acres I realized what Ministry is all about. I was thinking, "what if I had a church, who would I want to come?"

Homosexuals... yes. Prostitutes... yes. Thieves... yes. Criminals... yes. Widows... yes. Children... yes. Rich.. yes. Poor... yes. If I had a church send everyone, and all the sinners.

And what would I do with this croud? Simply, just love them. Because frankly I don't care what the "problem" is. I know that if I can love the person, the the Holy Spirit has His opportunity to address the problem. If I had a church, I would want it built on 1 Peter 4:8 where it says, "above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins."

But I am not called to start a church, but there is no reason that this attempt to express love to a lost and dying world cannot be my ministry... my calling.

I'm getting it. I am understanding. And in that moment of understanding is the greatest since of love from heaven. In that continuing moment is the understanding that everything in my past is insignificant to this relationship to God. In that moment of understanding on the mower I asked myself. Would you rather have the millions you have lost, or this moment right now?

Frankly, that moment was worth 10 times what I have lost. And not only worth everything that I have lost, it is worth everything else I have to loose.

I see the light at the end of the tunnel. It is not an on coming train. It is not the other side of the mountain. It is in the lap of the Father, in the arms of His Son Jesus.

Ministry is loving people right where they are. Being a companion as God works His miracle. Not to create the miracle, perhaps be a part, but always a witness of what He is doing.

Breaking Addiction

Matthew 10:39, "He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it."

My thoughts and prayers this morning were on the similarity of my current walk with God and breaking an addiction. Sounds a little bit crazy, but the addiction that is being broken is the addiction of self. This ever present, holy need to die to self. Yes I am an ego addict, and the pain of getting over the addiction is horrible at times.

I remember all to clearly breaking the addiction to nicotine. Day 1 was hard, day 2 was harder, day 3 - 11 absolutely impossible. I wanted to turn back every step of the way. I was meaner than a rattlesnake in the whole process. It was pure insanity.

This point of wanting to quit is where I am in today with this discovering God as Provider and Provision. It is insanity. It is impossible. It makes no sense to anything natural in me. My flesh, my humanity is kicking and screaming telling me to just stop. Stop ignoring my intellect, training, society, and education. I hear the voice of, everyone else does it that way, why can't you? And I seriously consider it.

Then I read T Austin-Sparks, he said, "We know, do we not, of many who will go just so far with the Lord and then they draw the line; some will go a little further but then they stop short, and it seems that very few, very few indeed, go right into the absolute oneness with Him in His Heart, His Mind, His Will: and He is seeking for those who will be of His own Spirit, who will go a little further than the rest, than perhaps the most advanced of all the others, a little further still, to take them into the innermost secret and suffering of His own Heart."

Followed by Oswald Chambers who said, "You may talk about the nobility of human nature, but there is something in human nature which will laugh in the face of every ideal you have. If you refuse to agree with the fact that there is vice and self-seeking, something downright spiteful and wrong in human beings, instead of reconciling yourself to it, when it strikes your life, you will compromise with it and say it is of no use to battle against it."

Into my mind pops 2 Peter 2:22, "... a dog returns to its own vomit, and a sow after washing, returns to wallowing in the mire."

After that I think I will quit thinking about quitting and press on.