I have this little group I attend on Wednesday that is called Love Machine. Given the eclectic collection of people that come to it, opportunity abounds to find someone completely offensive. I guess that's what makes it a love machine in that you are going to be forced to love someone you can't stand. Not to mention that it is a complete test of everything I write. For example the lesson on what is wrong with the picture is me. And my judgments of others are really judgments of myself.
Look, doesn't God understand that I didn't go there to find out about myself. I went to be some great spiritual force for good and to lead someone closer to Christ because Him and I are best buds. He has such the sense of humor. I believe there were 14 people there. I like 3 of them. The other 11, well they offend me to the core. So instead of looking inside, and instead of trying to get a kingdom perspective of the other group members, I sized them up.
This guy is an arrogant contrarian, that guy is trying to be in charge, that guy just wants to be God voice for the group, that lady is going to be a victim her whole life, that gal got over her issues by building a wall behind another issue. On and on, I go around the room judging, and worse falling into that judgment. One poor gal was questioning why a minister would not, and I chimed in with, if you felt so strongly about it, you should have... It was intended to shut her down, and accomplished it's goal. But that is not God's goal. God's goal is for there to be an environment of openness, and expression of fears and frailties so that love can come through. So that iron can sharpen iron, and we who have been through muck, can go and be with those who are still in the muck and vice versa.
I wanted to be a 4x4 pulling people from the mud. Instead I discovered that I am very much still stuck in it myself. That was not a light I was shinning on those folks. It was a mirror looking into my soul to see that their issues were not their issues at all, but mine. Fortunately though I still care about what God thinks. Fortunately I continue on the path, even though today I stumbled in my thoughts and deeds. Next week the opportunity will be there again and perhaps this time I can go in looking to see everyone from God's perspective instead of my own. Then perhaps with that perspective I can see what is lovable, and how that love is best given.
In the meantime... love is a battlefield. A battlefield in my mind, heart, and spirit. Jim... this one is for you.
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