On the way to church this morning this was the passage on my brain. Then I get there to hear a great message from Lance Price about relationship and communication with God.
For me there is hardly a better place to experience this relationship and communication than in that alone place. I find it funny that I enjoy my alone time so much having been codependent for many of my years, unable to cope with my own thoughts in any place of solitary. But today, I not only cope, but relish that time.
Life is so busy, it is hard to shut it all down. To 100% focus on God. For me it can take hours to "wind down" and quiet my mind to the place that I actually listen to and for Him. Rather it usually starts with my mind swirling, problems playing out, thoughts bouncing all over the place. Eventually I will transition to turning those thoughts into prayers. Rather than plot my rescue for the problem I will eventually turn it over to God and ask Him to fix it. I will begin to ask in prayer what God's thoughts are compared to my thoughts. An hour or 2 later I am usually at the place that the real prayer can actually begin.
That place is where I can look into the back of my eyelids and see the blackness. Staring at the blackness my mind quiets. Then when the mind is quiet, and all I see is the blackness... then I can ask, "Where are You?" Where are you God in this blackness? What is Your will? Speak to me. Show me your heart? I'm there all alone, in the darkness of my mind reaching out to the God of the Universe. And He has never failed me or not show up. In that place I see truth. I see that nothing else matters except Him. Oh to live in that place.
I heard the following song for the first time this morning in church. The words are so powerful. They are the cry of my heart today.
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