I had the great pleasure of meeting Paul's wife the day after meeting Paul. (Back to the Future). She came to Love Machine in Tomball, which is a great group that gets together once a week.
Her name is Kristen, and having felt such a kindred connection to Paul I was really interested in meeting her. After all, behind every great man is an even better woman. Plus I wanted to get her take on their adventures with God over the past two and a half years.
My first impressions of Kristen was her contagious smile. She sat there in the group, just smiling. If I didn't know better, her expression could have been that of lounging around in a favorite pair of pajamas watching a great movie. Paul on the other hand was still writhing in the pain of his transformation from submission to surrender. My second impression of Kristen came when Paul spoke.
Paul shared briefly his struggle with the group and Kristen's eye's were fixed on him. Her smile deepened. All I could see in that moment was this woman REALLY loves her husband. There was a sense of pride she exhibited. It was beautiful to know the struggles they had been through, and see such an unconscious expression of love, adoration, and commitment. I had to know her side of the story. I had to know if this was a super woman who had it all together, and patiently waited for her husband to come to this point; or if there was an equal struggle of transformation on her part.
We eventually connected by phone for my debriefing. As it turns out Kristen was not Mrs. Perfect, and the lesson was not for her husband alone. She too had to allowed God to use the hardships of the past couple of years to transform her. Somehow she found the will to continue with God and her husband in spite of the painful confrontation of herself. It appears that Kristen was not too long ago a "rage-aholic." I don't know the reason for the rage, other than something family related from her past, but it is completely irrelevant. Because in our face to face encounter she was all smiles, and now on the phone the smile was coming through again. I can not judge the rage dead, but I can say that it is dead enough that I cannot see it in her in the least.
Kristen went on to explain that prior to the financial demise she would engage in "retail therapy" to quite the confrontation with self. And though shopping does produce endorphins, it is just like God to remove the means to shop or any other substitute for His peace and relationship to Him.
So here's Kristen, realizing after two and half years of struggle that there is a purpose in it all. She is seeing God make lemonade out of lemons in both her and her husband. She, in the process of loosing her identity as the wife of the President of a Company, discovered her identity in Christ. She described it like a pie. The complete pie is all her in Christ. One slice is wife. Another slice is mother. On and on all making her her complete image and a reflection of Jesus.
Many weaker people have divorced for less. Many others have seen the value in their spouse as some external attribute, and when that thing is attacked or loss, so too the value of their spouse is lost. Not Kristen & Paul. They find value in each other. They find value in the walk together. They find value in being conformed to the image of Christ. Humbly they accept their own flaws and the need to change while simultaneously embracing their spouse's flaw and patiently waiting for God to do His work there. They have not survived... they have thrived. Even when her parents attack Paul and His parents attacked Kristen. They grew together just like they individually grew in Christ.
It is a beautiful relationship, one to be admired, and one to be emulated.
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