This week was Iwo Jima, a group of men wounded on the battlefield of ministry. I went expecting God to once again confront my prejudices in the form of the log in my own eye. What I got instead was an image of myself at some point in the future.
I always go to this meeting early. Hoping to have an opportunity to meet and share with someone in the coffee shop. Today was no exception. I was in the middle of the introductions to Paul (Myself in the future) when I was introduced to Birmy.
Birmy is a lovely girl, probably in her twenties. I have seen her a time or two, and she appears bubbly. She has a very unusual hair style, that I find kind of offensive, I would call it punk, and the shaved sides of her head give it a very masculine feel. After a quick hello Jim shared with me the story of hurt that became her stumbling block. While on mission trip some years ago Brimy was confronted by the spiritual head and Mission leader. She was told in no uncertain terms to never expect to ever be in any form of leadership. That women were put on the earth to follow orders and for the pleasure of men. Fortunately for Brimy the event did not cause her to hate God, only men... for which she is recovering. I pray the man repents, but if not I believe Jesus spoke Mark 9:6 for him. He said, "whoever causes one of these little ones who believes in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.
I look forward to meeting Birmy and further discussions, but the real purpose of my day was to meet Paul.
Paul is in from Colorado to close on the sale of his home in The Woodlands, and close this chapter of his life. It is a big step for him because in many ways it represents the point of crossing over from submission to God to surrender to God. You see Paul walked into a $40 million dollar business a few years back. A business that his father had built. I don't know the details, but the business under Paul's direction ended up in bankruptcy and closed.The sale of this house was the final connection to his previous life and pursuit of riches for riches sake.
It is odd how we can ignore the call of our heart and pursue things that look good and right. Long before the demise of the business Paul and his wife's heart desire was to open a bed and breakfast/retreat in Colorado. Once the business was gone Paul decided to pursue this dream. So Paul has the still quiet voice tell him to go to Colorado, but Paul in his wisdom, and perhaps insecurity decides he needs training and certification before opening a "retreat." He and his wife moved to Seattle, Washington, along with their small children, to go to the best coaching/counseling school they could find. Paul apparently wanted man's credentials to do God's work. Which works for some, but not Paul and his family.
18 months in the failed experiment, out of resources God sent an angel to Paul and his wife telling them they should have already been in Colorado, and that they should go there now. Very nice of God to so dramatically get them back on the right path versus allowing him to chase their tails any longer.
Up to this point Paul was in submission to the plan of God. He knew the direction, he knew the specific work...but his "self", his "ego" wanted more training because his previous training taught him training was important to succeed. While God's plan was not for success on Paul's terms. God's plan was not for Paul to be submitted to Him. God's plan was for Paul's complete surrender. The closing on the home was the last anchor to the previous life. It was the symbolic gesture of this surrender. It is this transition from submission to surrender that I feel such a kindred bond with Paul.
It would be great if surrendering to God was quick and painless. It would be great if surrendering was not synonymous with dying to self. But it is usually painful, rarely quick, and absolute death. Paul's surrender started months ago with them moving from Washington state to Colorado. Arriving, they were immediately attacked by the in-laws.Days into the obedience came the pain from those closest to them. Paul was labeled as irresponsible, his actions of carting his family around the US without a steady job was crazy. Ironically the only encouragement they get to continue this spiritual journey is from "the aunts." Apparently "the aunts" are a lesbian pair of in-laws. (Which cracks me up how God works.)
Long story short... God leads Paul to taking a job at a retail store. While being on the bottom rung he continues to meet people in the community of influence and means. It appears God is bringing to him one by one future supporters and/or clients for the retreat. Then as the final act of surrender approaches with the closing of their home. The very act that demonstrates the loss of career, power, prestige, memories, dreams... of complete surrender to God -- the bed and breakfast appears on the horizon.God's vision for their life crested the horizon. Not only is the bed and breakfast there; the owner, just on Paul's expressed interest, lowered the price.
It is this vision appearing on the horizon, approaching Paul and his family like a much needed supply ship that excites me beyond measure. I see in Paul's tale of his past 2.5 years as my last 4 months. I see God with a plan. I see a changing of the seasons for Paul. A leaving of the wilderness and entering the fight for the Promises land. No more wandering in the waste land. No more directionless life. But direction, a plan, something to do, a hope... it is beautiful. For Paul it appears the Master is ready to put His bond-servant to work.
Probably the most exciting aspect of Paul's story for me is that it confirms I am on the right pat
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