Amazing to me how life has come full circle. In 2002 I was hitting the a peak in my relationship with God. Having completed Ministry School I found myself daily in the hospitals praying for the terminally ill. Simultaneously I had a $14M/year business under a fatal attack.
At the time I thought I was loosing it all because the devil was mad I was out doing God's work... seeing His healing, and watching lives change. The logical solution to me was fight the devil, and the way to do that was to rebuild or remake the wealth. Then when the wealth was back I planned to go back to doing God's work because the wealth enabled the time and resources to go and come in ministry.
Simultaneously my dad was suffering from the same events and others. He found himself hanging onto nothing. While I went to chase a new career, build a new business, he would go and pray. Everyday praying. For years praying, not pursuing a job, not pursuing a recovery, not pursuing anything. And little by little spectacular events occurred and currently he lives with an abundance.
And yet, with this fine example, I pursued my plans to the point of exhaustion, only to return to where I was back in 2002. At this place of decision. A decision to return to the point of prayer, or effort. The place of pursuing a piece of security, or Peace & Security.
T Austin-Sparks turned my life upside down in the Ministry school 15 years ago with his book the School of Christ. And once again I find myself immersed in his works daily. Everyday I pick up something new of his. Everyday it speaks volumes. T Austin-Sparks confirms from the grave that prayer is the only option. Peace & Security are only found in Christ.
I feel like I have just spent 9 years chasing my tail. As Jim would say chasing a tail, thinking I am going to catch something I don't have, only to catch it and realize I've had it all along.
The chase is over. The end of my business in 2002, I believe now, was supposed to be the end of business for me, and the beginning of ministry. Enough time as been wasted chasing a paycheck. I am a bond-servant of God by choice, and in such there is an inherent promise that all my physical needs will be taken care of.
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