From the Normal Christian Life by Watchman Nee
"Brother, what has the Lord really been teaching you these days? He replied, Only one thing: that I can do nothing apart from Him.
Do you really mean... that you can do nothing?
...The Lord has shown me that I can do anything, but that He has said, 'Apart from Me ye can do nothing.' So it comes to this, that everything I have done and can still do apart from Him is nothing!... I do not mean to say we cannot do a lot of things, for we can... But remember the Lord's word is "Every plant which which my heavenly Father planted not, shall be rooted up... God is the only legitimate Originator in the universe, and His Holy Spirit is the only legitimate Initiator in our hearts. Anything that you or I plan and set on foot without Him has the taint of the flesh upon it, and it will never reach the realm of the Spirit however earnestly we seek God's blessing on it. It may last for years, and then we may think we will adjust here and improve there and maybe bring it on a better plane, but it cannot be done."
This understanding, this clarity is where I am in this moment.
Yesterday a couple of things happened that must be addressed with this attitude of surrender. They come as a spiritual test of my resolve to allow God to be an Originator and Initiator in my life. The first was a request for me to come to a job interview. The second was a foreclosure notice on my house from the home owner's association.
Logic says get a job and pay the bill. But what does God say? I think here is where people stumble. I think many give up on hearing from God, and instead act in the silence; when the silence was only there because "nothing" is the place surrender begins.
So I prayed about the job interview. I joked with my wife that I was going for her, but reality is I went because I felt like God was telling me to. Which in and of itself started a whole other round of surrender. Because if God was sending me to an interview, or any other place, the REAL PURPOSE is to be a reflection of Christ. Literally for hours I had to remind myself the interview is not about me. It is not about what I can do. It is about being a reflection of Jesus. It is about the Christ in me coming out. And so I went and for 2 hours I listened, and listened, and listened. I shared a few ideas, I made a commitment to do 2 things that I know can help their company, and beyond that it was all a lot of info about them, and for me to answer a few questions about my experience. At the end of the interview I was asked what I thought, and I was asked what compensation I was looking for. My response to the comp question was, I do not want to consider a job based on the compensation. I only want to consider it based on if I would do the job regardless of pay. We left agreeing to talk again next week. (My intent is to pray about what is the next step.) I could be wrong, but it appeared they were ready to offer the job to me on the spot. Either way, God has to tell me what to do.
On the foreclosure front, I know that I can jump in and "solve" the problem in my ability. I can negotiate a payment schedule, prolong the agony, but I want to know what God wants to do. Right now I don't know what His plan is, so the correct thing to do is nothing.
But you are going to loose your house!
Maybe, maybe not... but I am convinced to not move until He says move.
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