Ashamed to Be Loved

Zephaniah 3:10-12, “From beyond the rivers of Ethiopia My worshipers, My dispersed ones, will bring My offerings. In that day you will feel no shame because of all your deeds by which you have rebelled against Me; for then I will remove from your midst your proud, exulting ones, and you will never be haughty on My holy mountain. But I will leave among you a humble and lowly people, and they will take refuge in the name of the Lord.”

I long for the day that I “feel no shame.” In my mind and in my spirit I know that that day should be today as “there is now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Rom 8:1) But still I feel to a degree that shame and condemnation. Today’s short comings, today’s failures do nothing more to solidify that shame and condemnation. Somehow it seems so difficult to own the freedom of forgiveness in Christ. And not just for me.

At Iwo Jima the other day my friend George was engaging in some almost self-destructive conversation. In many ways he was asking the group to disown him. When asked by Jim Spivey what the real truth was he said tearfully, “When I feel people loving me I feel shame.”

Complete and total empathy flooded me in that statement. Past relationship flashed in my mind and how they were born out of this shame of being loved. Enduring the unhealthiest of relationships was feed by a deep feeling of being unlovable. Perhaps that is the root of my mysterious attraction to and interactions with the unlovable. Somehow in seeing them as unlovable I identify with that in myself.  And that shame is not limited to people. That shame extends too often into my relationship with God. I love Him for sure, and I know that He loves me, but the shame of being loved in such an unlovable state limits the relationship. I limits what I will accept from Him in the form of love.

Paul, another Iwo Jima'r, commented to George’s confession that being unworthy of the love is what makes it love to begin with. And that certainly is true. Being unworthy sure is what makes God’s love unconditional at the least.

This is going to sound crazy but I am so thankful for the shame. I am thankful because until George articulated the feeling, for me it only existed subconsciously. But now I am conscious. Now the dross has been brought to the surface and it can be scraped from my relationship with God. I am unworthy of God’s love and that is precisely why He loves me. To know this, and to not act on it—to accept both the unworthiness and the love… this attitude is what will just leave me humble and lowly, taking refuge in the Lord. 

Blinded by Greed

Luke 12:15, “The He said to them, ‘Beware, and be on your guard against every form of greed, for not even when one has an abundance does his life consist of his possessions.”

The context of what Jesus is speaking of here is that greed can cause us to lose sight that this life is not about possessions. In this instance one form of greed causes us to worry and not trust in God. (v.22-23) But there are many forms of greed that we have to be on guard against.

But why be “on guard” against greed? I think the answer is because Jesus knew that greed blinds us to the risk, and greed more often than not leads to loss and not gain. Greed causes us to not count the costs.

Greed leads to things like the stock tip that is too good to pass up. Greed has us invest in the "sure thing." Greed leads us to relationships that leave nothing but destruction in their path. Think about the many of examples where conmen prayed on someone’s greed only to rob them. Most notably Bernie Madoff who promised incredible return that were really nothing more than a Ponzi scheme.

If life is motivated by greed and about accumulating possessions, then there is the potential to loose or never gain site that life is about knowing and becoming more like Christ. Greed blinds to the fact that a few shekels could cost someone eternity. This is not to say we should go monastic and pledge our live to poverty, but it is to say we must constantly evaluate our motives. “The love of money” – greed is the root of all sorts of evil. And those evils bear consequences not just eternally but in the here and now.

If you want to avoid the blinder of greed ask yourself, what’s the down side? Everyone asks what can I gain? But how many ask what can I lose? What is the risk? If you are asking yourself about the down side, there is a pretty good indication the motivation is not greed. But if you are asking about the down side you should also be considering the eternal down side and not just the temporary down side. What can I loose is a very good question to take the blinders of greed off.

A Fair Wage

Romans 4:4, “Now to the one who works, his wage is not credited as a favor, but as what is due.”

So much can be taken from this sentence Paul wrote. For example, the wage is due the one who works. But for those of us who do work, what is a fair wage?

We are taught that it depends on the job, the skill involved, the education needed, or some other mental or physical asset the worker brings to the table. We are taught that the person investing the capital deserves a fair wage/return for their investment regardless of human effort involved. We learn that corporations will move operations half a world away to find someone who is willing to define their fair wage on the lowest of standards.

Some I think pull their definition of a “fair wage” out of the hat. Right now I could say with absolute certainty that many instinctively would consider $100,000 a year a fair wage. But where does that number come from? Did you know that many small business owners would take $1,000,000 for their business just because that seems to be some magic number?

Why aren’t we taught as a society what a fair wage is?

So here is what I think a fair wage is. A fair wage is the amount that a person needs to live, plus the taxes the government will take, plus the expenses the wage earner incurs to do the job, plus a profit that should be associated with the risk of the job. If the job could cost you your life, the profit should be enormous. If the job is a career without risks and a longevity beyond retirement then perhaps the profit should be less.

But why do I say this? I say this because I think we as a human race do not properly value our time and effort. I think the majority of us sell ourselves short. I for one have felt guilty for “making a profit.” And in this guilt deny God the opportunity to bless. This guilt that so many Christians share has us shun the very abundance God is trying to give us so that we can have it for good works.

Just today I read this in a friend’s online post. It said, “You pray. You ask God for something. He answers so big that now you question was this God.” He is having a hard time accepting the “profit” of the fair wage. To me it sounds like there is guilt in the blessing. But the guilt is a lie. It is an attempt either from Satan or from our own lack of self-worth to self destruct and not accept the blessings of God which are so much a part of His love in spite of our unworthiness. 

I want a spouse, and then God brings someone so wonderful you sabotage the relationship because you feel unworthy.

I need money, and then God brings an opportunity for profit and you sabotage the abundance because that would be ripping someone off, or because you are not worthy of that “wage.”

I am not a prosperity message proponent. But I do believe God is redefining for me what a fair wage is. And that fair wage has an abundance, it has a profit. No one would consider loaning money interest free. They expect it to grow. It is a finite resource and if it’s not put to work earning a wage it is wasted. And yet our finite life is given away so freely in an interest free loan to our employers. The wage is not a favor. The wage is what is due. Join me in valuing your time and energy working fairly. Consider beyond the immediate. I think it’s a God thing. 

Money... Money... Money

1 Timothy 6:10, “For the love of money is the root of all sorts of evil…”

Note that money is not the evil. The love of money is the potential for evil.

Having had the epiphany that the parables on money also teach us that God observes our ability to handle responsibility by observing our handling of money I decided to jot down some of my thoughts (and others) on money.

• All rich people have something in common. They all spend less than the make.
• Giving God 10% does not give you the right to blow the other 90%... that’s His too.
• Giving God 10% does not mean you automatically get another 100%
• Broke is the temporary absence of cash, poor is a lifestyle. (John Beeson)
• Denial is to live without a personal budget.
• The easiest way to get everything you want is to stop wanting.
• Proverbs 22:7 “… the borrower becomes a slave to the lender” is true.
• The only two things certain in life are death and taxes.
• People with emergency funds never seem to have emergencies.
• If you have to sell it or rent it to pay for it, don’t buy it.
• If you can’t pay cash for it, you don’t need it.
• God does not give us faith to borrow money.
• God does not promise Christians they will win the lottery.
• There’s nothing like a taste of poverty to correct some bad habits.
• Money and success don’t change people; they merely amplify what is already there. (Will Smith)
• If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. (Dorothy Parker)
• If you don’t know how to manage money then don’t try. Let someone else do it for you.
• People want to be rich to have more fun, so if you are having fun you are rich. (Michael Morrow)
• I’ve been broke and I’ve been rich… rich is better.

How about you? What are your thoughts on money? Comment below.

    

In the Moment

Ecclesiastes 5:18, “Here is what I have seen to be good and fitting; to eat, to drink and enjoy oneself in ALL one’s labor in which he toils under the sun during the few years of life which God has given him; for this is his reward.”

What audacity Solomon has to write about enjoying ALL you labor and toils. For me at least, I equate labor and toil with anything but enjoyment. On a good day toil might trigger a neutral feeling of necessity, but rarely is it enjoyable.

Take my yard for example. I live on 5 acres and for ten months out of the year I spend three hours a weekend maintaining it. For me the reward of having the space more than offset the three hours of misery in the heat every week. That was until this past weekend when something changed in me spiritually.

For me the yard was about how fast can I get this done? The object of yard word was to finish. Have the blessing of a lot of property yard work always seems to be a reminder of lack and not abundance. As I mow I see that this needs to be painted, that needs to be fixed. I wish I had money for an improvement… or shoot; most often wish I had money for a yard man. And so the labor of the yard not only toils on my body, but on my mind. This past weekend started just the same.

As I do yard work I have my headphones on listening to music from my iPhone, the majority of which is Christian music. As a worship song kicked off, only steps into my first task of edging the Holy Spirit said to me in my mind, “What are you in a hurry for? Slow down, enjoy what you are doing.”

To that point I never looked at it as something that could be enjoyed. Not only did I slow down, not only did I find enjoyment in it, but I did double what I would have normally done. As those deferred maintenance items came up I made notes on the same iPhone that playing my music. When I was done I categorized those items into needing money and not needing money. The ones that need money, I reminded God of in prayer. The ones that don’t… well I knocked out two of them after the yard work was done. And I will continue until they are all done.

The epiphany that I derived from this experience is this. I have to believe that everything is God’s anyway. So if God entrusted me with the property, He also entrusted me with its maintenance, and therefore I should enjoy all that entails as He did it for my good. Perhaps you never thought of doing yard work as doing the will of God, but last weekend for me I did. I found enjoyment that I had been entrusted with the responsibility. Sure it involved what seemed like gallons of sweat, and left my back aching for hours. But it was what I had to do right then and there. It was a moment to live in, and living in the moment, allowing it to be the purpose of the hour and not the obstacle of the day made it so very enjoyable.

Here’s to enjoying the toil under the sun, and enjoying the moment… whatever that moment brings. 

Validating the Truth

Numbers 11:23, “The Lord said to Moses, ‘Is the Lord’s power limited? Now you shall see whether My word will come true or not.”

I am beginning to see this pattern emerge in people’s spiritual lives where we all come to a point where the truth, or what we believe to be the truth, has to be validated. Or perhaps it may even be the case that some doctrine we believed to be true becomes invalidated by experience.

For me, I see the pattern the clearest in those I encounter who have or are involved in ministry. Whether on staff of a ministry or leading a ministry life has this crazy way of testing what we believe. Imagine the man of God truly seeking God, truly preparing his messages in prayer, truly wanting the best for his family and congregation, but life throws him a curveball. Perhaps it’s a child who has a drug addiction exposed. Perhaps it’s an unwed daughter’s pregnancy. Sometimes the curveball comes as a terminal illness or catastrophic financial mistake. Sometimes the curveball comes from those he loves in the form of gossip and slander and in fighting in the congregations. Whatever the case, whether in ministry or not, we can see that life can and will test our doctrine. It will test the truth and lies of religion.

My favorite Christian writer T. Austin Sparks said, “(inward revelation of the truth) comes by the way of great pain. You get a thing revealed to you as truth, perhaps something about the Cross of Christ, or victory over Satan, and you think you know it, and you say, "This is beautiful!" And you begin to talk about it, and it is not very long before something happens – your circumstances are touched. Now you go down with this truth, down into the vortex of awful agony, right down to the gates of hell, your being is upheaved right from the very bottom, and all the time there is the question – "Will that truth hold good?" Is it going to work? And when you have got down as far as you can go, the flesh elements and the self-elements have been dealt with, and you grimly hold on to the Lord in this matter of victory – then it comes out, you have tested it right to the very bottom of your being – that thing has become you, and then you can go to others in their grim conflict and their darkness, and say, "I know – I know this thing, and I know God is faithful, I know the victory." You have got a mighty emphasis on your knowledge, it is a thing about which you have no doubt, because you have gone down into the depths with it, and proved it down there, and by the very pain the thing has been proved.”

The religious often freak out when they encounter someone questioning their faith. They can’t stomach someone exploring alternatives. But reality is we all have to have the validation of the truth. It is in this validation that the relationship to God is formed. It is painful because to validate God’s truth happens at the very end of ourselves, where all human efforts are exhausted, where only God can act… here we discover God’s truth. My pastor quoted someone a few weeks back. He said, “We never know God is all we need, until God is all we have.”

I am learning to find great comfort in the encounters with former “Christians” seeking the truth. Time has proven that Christ always draws them to Himself. I see them return to what looks like the place they left, but with new perspective. A perspective of truth. They return to an irrevocable gift and call of God with kingdom perspective and not man’s perspective. They return having lived the truth.

More importantly they/we return understanding that it is not only ok, but necessary for others to take the journey to the truth. The agony, the upheaval, the rock bottom are all there for our good and by God’s love and design. Religion, doctrine, beliefs don’t save, God does. “Is His power limited?”

Best Way to Start Your Day

Matthew 7:11, “If you then being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will you heavenly Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!

This morning I went and met with my Love/Life/Death Coach and dear friend Jim Spivey. We shared some fellowship with his friend Jason, had some wonderful conversation when Jim said something about a chiropractor and “we should go… but there’s not enough time.”

I stopped him and said we should go where?

“To Robert the chiropractor and get an adjustment, he’s just two miles up the road.” He replied.

I said, “That is a such a God thing.”

To which Jim immediately got up and said, “then we have time.”

Jim didn’t know it but for over a week I have been thinking and praying about how to get to a chiropractor that is reasonably priced and who doesn’t want to do a bunch of x-rays and stuff. Just a few weeks ago I was rear ended and last week I fell into a hole and my back and neck have been bothering my quite a bit. How incredible that God would put that thought into Jim’s spirit and that I would receive such a blessing this morning? Not only that, but the pain has been reflecting into my chest making me question whether I am having a heart attack like my brother-in-law. So not only did I have a conversation with one of my all-time conversationalists, but he allowed himself to be part of God giving me good things.

Interestingly enough, Robert identified all my ailments without a word from me. He in fact said, “you have a little issue at C3, probably causing congestion and snoring.” Wow… I hope the adjustment stopped the recently acquired snoring for my wife’s sake. That is still left to be seen. 

Point is this. God is out there loving us and giving us good daily. Sometimes He chooses to use a human hand or two to deliver it. So be receptive, be appreciative, and be available for Him to use you.

It all reminds me of a fanciful story I once heard. There was a Christian Evangelist who encountered a Buddhist monk. In this encounter the monk in deep meditation began to levitate. After this display the monk told the evangelists. Show me your God, and I will believe. The Evangelists was amiss. He had no idea what to do. Upon leaving the monk said, “Had you given me a glass of water I would have believed in your God, because I am thirsty.”

Again, notions come into our mind that seem random, nonsensical, or even inapplicable. Respond to these notions. It may very well be God through the Holy Spirit doing good and answering someone’s prayer.