The Thorn

2 Corinthians 12:7, “Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me—to keep me from exalting myself!”

My step daughter was telling me about the bible study she is participating in, and said they were discussing the “dude that got beat up all the time.” (Apostle Paul) I asked if they discussed that as a member of the Sanhedrin he would have been required to be married.

She said, “No, but they did ask us to describe what we thought the ‘thorn might represent.’”

Jokingly I said it was probably his wife since she is never mentioned in the bible. But reality is that thorn is for us all the pinch to wake us up. Or should I say the pinch to wake our spirits up to the temporary and contaminated nature of life on earth. For Paul the thorn was there to keep him humble, to keep life and his role as a preeminent apostle in perspective. It was there so that he would not fall into the trap of not only reading but believing his own press clippings.

The earth, and therefore life, is contaminated by sin, and we remain in this literal spiritual cesspool to not only come to know God, but to be beacons of light for the other souls that join us in this thing call living. However, life has plenty of temporary pleasure to not only engage in, but to be distracted by, and to be drawn too. Given enough pleasure we all have an ego capable laying claim to it, and not just enjoying and pursuing more, but attributing the accumulation of pleasure to one’s own activities or worthiness. Like the American lie of because I am smart, I am rich.

And so God, by His grace allows us to feel the truth of life. That it is temporary and thorny maze. He allows us to remain in the thorny mire, so that as I said earlier we can be a beacon to the coming souls just as some other soul was a beacon for us.

Think about it. God loves His creation call mankind. With each human birth a spiritual birth of a soul is created as well. Earth for lack of a better description is a soul factory. We are here to recognize our soul, and to connect to God in spirit; then to live that connection. In living that connection we become the city on the hill, we become the lamp that is not covered.

Lest we forget that this is our purpose… to love God, then to love others as He has loved us, God has appropriated to everyone a thorn or thorns to keep them from being lulled to spiritual sleep by wealth, health, or fame. Though many exalt themselves to the highest of pedestals, I have yet to see anyone that has remain there.

This is the grace of God. 

The Cross is Not the End Game

Hebrews 12:2, “fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who FOR THE JOY SET BEFORE HIM ENDURED THE CROSS, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

We call so many things painful. Our worries and fears are painful. Someone else’s unmet need seems painful to us. Rejection, ridicule conjure up images of emotional hurt. Financial insecurity seems as painful as the hunger it can lead to. But is this really pain when compared to the physical pain of being scourged, and left to suffocate on a cross having been nailed there through His hand and feet… is any of the other really pain?

In our selfish little existence it is pain. Our pains are not having insurance, or money for a cable bill or being able to get along with our spouse or co-worker because we are too hell bent on being right v. being at peace with one another. And yet these pains are real to the beholder. They are so many times the nails being driven into our spiritual hands. The PAIN is so many times the sharing of the cross of Christ because that cross represents a place of passing from world to spirit. It represents a place of rejecting everything man made for everything God made. It is part of being transferred into the kingdom of God’s Son as Paul wrote, but the cross is NOT the end.

I, like all of you, can be tormented by uncomfortable circumstances. And yet, as my friend Aaron told me, somehow God’s glory is at the hour and pain of the cross. This is very different from the pain and consequence of sin. The pain of the cross is when you are “trying” with all your heart to live for God, and things “still don’t go right.” When in fact they are going perfectly, stripping you of the “junk” your soul has accumulated to that point in life.  But again I reiterate this pain, this cross, this lot in life is not the end, it is not the point. It is a place that like Christ we endure even though we despise it. And we endure because in faith we learn it is also the hour of glory. It is the hour of intimacy with the Father as we are invited to His throne.

Jesus did not come to teach us to suffer. Jesus came to give us life, to see deep into the kingdom in spite of the suffering.

I think T. Austin Sparks was experiencing this when he wrote, “…it represents a good deal of breaking and smashing up of our previous ideas.  It does represent a terrific stripping off of a system in which we have grown up, in which we have been trained; but when the Lord has done it thoroughly, it is marvelous.  You look back and can only say: ‘There was a time when that, and that, and that was everything to me; it was my system, my program, my line of things, my very life, the presentation of myself to the world.  I did not see anything beyond that.’  But the Lord has done that great emancipating thing, and you laugh at your utter folly that ever such things should have been of any account at all.”

What a great word TAS chose… emancipating. This is the cross… the emancipating pain of obedience to God in a lost and dying world. Oh to be emancipated from the world by the cross, because to be free of the world is to be joined with God.

God set the joy Christ had before us all. Give us His vision, His understanding, His character in Jesus name. 

God of Just Enough & Just In Time

Exodus 3:14, “God said to Moses, ‘I AM WHO I AM’; and He said, ‘Thus you shall say to the sons of Israel, ‘I AM has sent me to you.’”

Exodus 16:4, “Then the Lord said to Moses, ‘Behold, I will rain bread from heaven for you; and the people shall go out and gather a day’s portion (just enough) every day, that I may test them, whether or not they will walk in My instruction.’”

Luke 9:58, “And Jesus said to him, ‘The foxes have holes and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.’”

I am fully aware there are large blocks of Christians that believe God is a God of prosperity, and that if a person is not materially prosperous then their relationship to Him is somehow contaminated, most likely with sin. But I will assure you that this is not the case, nor even remotely judge-able.

Not every command of Christ is to cast the nets on the other side of the boat, and not all results of God’s command are an overabundance. In fact all too often God is a God of just enough and just in time. I find no better example than the Israelites having to be dependent upon God for their daily bread. A dependence that lasted a full forty years. Christ on more than one occasion was without shelter, or food, or money. And yet each time God provided just in time.

I know several people who live wholly dependent upon God’s provision. Actually that is a completely watered down statement. So let me try again.

I know three people who live 100% dependent on God’s next financial miracle. They obey without consideration of where resource are coming from, and having watched them from a distance I can truly say that God has ALWAYS provided just enough, and all too often it comes just in time.

And so I find myself not in financial straits, but temporarily absent any cash, and with a bare cupboard. It is ten days until another payday, and I truly have $5 for lunch until then. I think of what my friend Jim would do, and it is to publicly cry out to the Lord. For Aaron, he has said that God has had him thank Him for the past provision, and then the current provision appeared. For Russell… I don’t know that he asks or thanks, but more seems to have some certainty that the manna will appear in the morning. For me, this is what I am doing…

“Father, give me this day my daily bread. And yes I know that I could stand to skip a few meals, but Father I asks that I might know your love. I am not asking to “test” You per se even though I know you test our love, but just to experience it again… to know that You are for me.”

I prayed this three days ago. On the first day my dad called and asked if like him to take me to lunch. On the second day a fellow employee asked if I wanted to go to lunch. I said it will have to be cheap because I only have $5. He said, “no my treat, I just want to do something nice for you…” Today is day three… (to be cont’d)

And please understand that this is not a tale from a poor beggar too broke or too irresponsible, but that it is a disciple constantly amazed by his God, that He loves him enough to be so involved in his life. Thankful that He tests him in his obedience to His instruction. 

The Calling of The Soul

Romans 11:29, “for the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.”

I had every intention of beginning the blog with a quote from either Jim Spivey, T. Austin Sparks, or Oswald Chambers about how it is the soul of man that is given the calling of God. But unfortunately I could not find it or really remember where I saw it, so I will begin out of my own heart.

A calling, a life’s purpose… so many of us are lost as to what it might be. For me I have no doubt that God disclosed my purpose to my soul at the age of fifteen when he said, “Jeff, I have called you to be a minister.” And though I do not fill the role of a Pastor of even work for a church, that calling has remained in my heart dragging along sometimes as I ran from it, and other times searing my conscience and even conscious as I moved polar opposite of it.

That call has never left in spite of my vocation never seeming to be part of it, but my vocation is a part of it, and as my eyes open to the kingdom of God I see that call working in my paid profession daily, even unconsciously.

I think somehow I remained at least partially ensnared by the lie that a “calling” must also be one’s source of income. I succumb to the lie that because my ministry is largely confined to a loose collection of writings and individual contacts that it is not a “true” calling; or that somehow I have fallen short in it because I have not “changed” the world. But today I know that to be a lie from the enemy.

My calling to be a minister, though it may very well be “touching” you in this very moment has nothing to do with you. In fact, almost selfishly it is all about me and Him. It is about my obedience, and to the degree that my obedience extends spiritual wisdom beyond my own soul, then that perhaps is yours, or his, or her obedience to read or even stumble upon these words. A mere murmuration as I follow, often recklessly, the path God lays before me daily.

I don’t particularly want to be a minister. I largely think, or rather use to think, that if I could be a “minister” then life would get better. Then I would have done something to please God and my problems would go away. But reality is I can’t please God, not even with my most pious of behavior He would remain disappointed accept for the blood of my Example and His Son Jesus Christ. And as a result as I minister, as I open up, as I follow the calling I hope one day to find it a pleasure in sharing in the sufferings of Christ. Though my flesh is weak, though my mind can be tormented, my soul suffers nothing.

I get to press on to the call, learning that all this suffering is not suffering at all, but life. The pain is not pain at all, but a time traveling vehicle registering feedback from the environment. My soul rests peacefully in the arms of the Father. And in all of this He is teaching me to ignore all else. To seek in face in every circumstance.

I am not even close to being there, but I am closer than I have ever been, and it is numinous. 

The Soul?

1 Corinthians 15:45, “So also it is written, ‘The first man, Adam, became a living soul.’ The last Adam (Jesus) became a life-giving spirit.”

As I continue in this life I come to understand that the work the Holy Spirit is doing, or trying to do in all of us, is so much deeper than a helping hand, a program, or a teaching. The work is on us as individuals at the soul level. And yet how many of us have any true soul awareness or consciousness? Does anyone understand what the soul is? Does anyone correctly identify its functions?

Time and time again I read from my predecessors that the soul of a man contains the emotions. And this simply is not true. Many emotions are the result of the flesh and simple brain activity. These emotions are so very easily altered with a pill or other legal or illegal medication. Many highs in our emotions are tied to endorphin's just as depression is tied to the lack of those same endorphin's.

We know that God has a soul from many places in the bible including Leviticus 26:11, and this (containing a soul) perhaps  is the image we are created in. All of which says nothing of spirit which God is as well, and it is the spirit of man that is reborn in salvation. (John 3:5)

But somehow in spite of no “scientific” proof I somehow start with the premise that the soul of man is the man. It is who God sees. It is character of a person. To the modern psychologists it is perhaps the ego of man.

If we make some spiritual assumptions that man is distinguished from animal in that he has a soul, then perhaps looking at those difference can help to better quantify it, or at least create some level of consciousness of its functions. For example, outside of man domesticating an animal to kill for him, murder does not seem to occur in the animal kingdom for reasons of jealousy or other depravity of soul. In fact if we look at the commandments, they are really commandments of the soul. Does a murderous heart, covetousness, idolatry, false testimony (lies) all originate in the soul?

We know that a person in love has hormone induced feelings, but is true agape love found in the soul? After all God is soul, spirit, and pure love? Joy and peace might be called states of mind… transcending emotion because they can be found in the soul even when external circumstance cause our bodies to respond with emotions. So too faithfulness and self-control likely originate in the soul.

Certainly choice, at least on the level of right v. wrong or God v. self is a decision of the soul. But there are many behaviors that look like choices, but are in fact originated in the flesh like physical addictions. The soul does not get addicted to substance, though it can be contaminated with greed and gluttony. Is there an animal that exhibits greediness? Is there any animal that stores up more than he will need in a coming time of hardship? Have you ever seen a documentary where a lion hangs a bunch of carcasses in the tree away from his fellow lions because he is saving for his posterity?

Someone argued that the soul is our thinking and reasoning. I don’t buy this. I think our soul pulls and our mind (flesh) reasons and argues with it. If God is soul, and we are created in his image and thinking and reasoning were part of the soul, then there are a whole lot of folks not as valuable to God because of flawed brains, or thought processes. Just as attitudes are not part of the soul in that they can be altered with drugs of all kinds. Or they can be altered with self-control originating in the soul.

Which makes me think that faith is part of the soul as well.

It’s funny the confusion. You should Google search images of mind, soul, & body and see the differences in opinions that exist concerning this subject. So many say that the soul is the mind, will, and emotions. I don’t think so. The mind is the brain, those thoughts rolling around are biological processing of learned experience and current input. The soul is under those thoughts. So often if a voice at all the soul is running contrary to the thoughts. (Romans 7:17-20) Will power, I agree is part of the soul. Or at least will power happens when the soul is victorious over the flesh. Emotions…. that has been addressed, I don't believe they are part of the soul. Peace, patience, understanding, joy are conditions of the soul when it is lined up with God. Happy, sad, fear, anger, are emotions of the flesh. At least that is what I think.

I also think the soul is something more or less equal from man to man. The homeless man struggling with mental illness has as large and capable a soul as the richest man on earth of perfect genetic upbringing. And so if the soul is the mind, will, & emotions then why is it I have met so many down trodden individual fully aware of Christ and God’s love (in the soul), and see so many rich and/or famous people who seem completely void of any knowledge of heaven?

Just asking…. 

Three Disciples And Their Wives

Ephesians 4:13, “until we all attain to the unity of faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ.”

There are three disciples of Christ, all married, all from consecutive generations. The first disciple is the oldest, and has been walking in a surrendered life to Christ perhaps the longest, or at least most intensely longer than the other two disciples to whom he mentors and befriends.

This first disciple is wholly dependent upon God for his provision. He in essence purposefully wanders the streets daily jumping into whatever mire has befallen the individuals he meets, hoping to illuminate the love of Christ, and the truth of the Father. The God of Just Enough, the God that supplies needs usually speaks to enough hearts throughout the course of time that the disciple’s family is well cared for without any traditional job or continuous source of income. He is married and his wife has come to a place closer to unity in his faith, and mature in experience that she has become expecting for God to come through when the occasional lack presents itself, like a busted a/c unit, unexpected medical bills, or even taxes.

The second disciple, like the first us wholly dependent upon God for his provision as well. His ministry is more traditional as a pastor, though his church rarely if ever through offerings if able to give him and his family a meager existence. Over time he has been forced to become reliant on faith and the reoccurring financial miracle of God. This uncertainty still to this day produces the occasional anxiety in the disciple. His wife and barometer of faith can and does sense when he is spiritually nervous about their financial future. This tension is much higher in times of financial need than with the first disciple and his wife. Or at least that is the appearance on the surface. But they have come to accept that they must press on to God, even while the wife recognizes the fear.

The third disciple, like the other two is wholly dependent upon God for his provision too. Though his profession looks starkly different than the two “ministers” he is compensated on a commission basis therefore dependent upon God to provide the proverbial game to feed his family. His wife, much more responsible with money handles the household finances, and when times of lack appear the disciple more than hears of it. Or perhaps like the second disciple, perhaps the wife recognizes the lack of faith, perhaps the anxiety of the third disciple permeates the relationship, and a fix is not only in order, but demanded.

And so for September 2013 all three disciples find themselves thousands of dollars short of meeting their current obligations. In full awareness of this the first disciple obeys God and cries out to Him with a very public prayer. Not repeatedly mind you, but one time makes his request to God. A few days later he takes a Friday afternoon off to go to a movie with a friend. As they watch the movie the disciple tells the friend, “wouldn’t it be nice to know that what we are doing this very moment is of God?” Literally minutes later the phone rings. It is the disciple’s wife calling to say that a $5000 check just arrived in the mail. And once again God has met his needs. Excited he texts the second disciple the news.

The second disciple, who was also obeying God by simply trusting to receive… no commands to cry out, or beg, or even ask receives the text with wonder, wonder if God was going to come through for him as well. All the while knowing fully that his bills would be late if not paid by Monday. Later that day the couple found in their mailbox an envelope containing an anonymous typed note, and a cashier’s check for $5000. Also was included three $100 bills earmarked specifically for his wife.

The third disciple went to a family member and asked to borrow the money. Dejected, feeling like a spiritual failure, feeling his faith failed him the third disciple shared as he heard the stories above.

And with clarity the first disciple explained the living parable. Our wives are in our lives in part to be that faith barometer. They, more than anyone else in our life, know when to call bullshit. They know when we are living it, and when we are pretending. They, more than anyone else, sense our anxiety or lack of faith. God uses these situations to affect us all, to bring us all into conformity with Christ. For the third disciple there is a lesson of lack of faith that manifested as irritability that needs to be replaced with joy and peace. For the wife, there too are lessons of faith that are to be independent of the husband. For the parents who loaned the money, God has a whole other issue to be worked on in anything less than their obedience.

For everyone, the givers, the receivers, the other participates… it all is God at work to prefect unity of faith, to increase everyone’s maturity in Christ. In all three cases that stature of Christ has been measured, and for one found a little more than the other, to which was found a little more than the third. But in every case God provided. What is done with the lesson is up to those who lived it. 

What Is The Soul?

John 7:38, “He who believes in Me… out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.”

Matthew 12:34, “… For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart.”

I have this nagging question. Actually I have a lot of questions, but one in particular has my thoughts and prayers. The question is, what is the soul? And not only what is it, but how do I become conscious of it? How does it interact with the Spirit and the Flesh? What about me is Christ like character in the soul, and what is flesh run a muck?

In my time alone, driving, doing yard work, the 3 to 5 min I have before I fall asleep these are the questions I ask of God. I sometimes even ask God if other asks the thousands of questions I ask Him a day. And His reply is most often silence. But to the last question He said, “31.”

What? 31? What kind of an answer is that?

It was then that the Holy Spirit said, “You ask an average of 31 questions per day.”

I laugh at the humor of it all, and it makes me wonder… is laughter flesh or the soul?

Isn’t the heart that scripture speaks of really the soul? After all, conversation, words, thoughts originate in the brain, and so is the heart (soul) the motivator behind those words and conversations?

Surely the brain, and the body have nothing to do with our consciousness and awareness of God, least our salvation or ability to be saved. If this were not true then salvation and closeness to God would not be as possible for those who are mentally or physically impaired. May that never be.

The Soul does not control our sense of fairness, science has proven this in that monkeys, and elephants in particular demonstrate consciousness of fairness.

Agape Love must originate in the soul, but how? Human kind seems to be the only extractors of justice, so is this too a function of the soul?

How about a murderous heart? Are murder, covetousness, glutton, and the other deadly sins symptoms of a deformed soul? Or are they simply depraved mind?

I recently read a story online of a woman who had a stroke. He ongoing symptoms are a compulsion to give to others. Has her brain finally been removed as a barrier to her God fearing soul? Or is giving too a function of the flesh?

I heard a contrasting story of a pastor’s wife who too had a stroke. God fearing, God loving, pillar of the church community now cannot be taken out in public without starting an argument. It is said she no longer has a “filter.” Has the abundance of her heart spoken? Has her soul shine through, even though that shinning is dark?

And so I wait for the answers. They are not always as simple as 31, but they do come. And with this one I hope, I pray, that like Christ I can connect with the consciousness of the soul, so that I can disconnect with the consciousness of the flesh… so that I can be more like Him. 

.