Visibly Invisible

John 4:24, “God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.”

Do you realize that according to Einstein’s theory of relativity, nothing you see, no physical matter exists without energy exceeding the speed of light. Of course God says the He is light, and nothing exists outside of Him, but from an articulable scientific perspective everything is really nothing more than the sum total of the energy it contains. We have the planets, and universe, and protons, and neutrons, and it all because God said let there be light. When light was born energy accelerated to the speed of light creating photons which are both energy and matter. As this energy accelerated faster, the stars and planets, and elements formed etc. So in my theory, if the universe stops expanding faster than the speed of light, then all things matter cease to exists, and all that remains is energy. God is there, at that point where matter does not exists. He is in the creation and outside of it simultaneously. He is what holds everything together.

So what’s the point?

The point is that God is visibly invisible. In Him we live and move and exist (Acts 17:28) but all this “stuff” that is around us is quite irrelevant to seeing the invisible God by and large. I think of the term murmuration as it describes the synchronistic movement of hundreds of starlings as if some master painter were sweeping his invisible brush across the sky. It is that indescribable energy, power, coordination where we see where the invisible God is. Want to see God? Then you have to look for the shadow He has cast, and hopefully like the prophet see His back as He leaves where He has been, all the while trusting He is everywhere and doing everything.

This is what I find fascinating, thinking and then praying on things of this nature for hours. How can I know God more? How can I overcome more often? What about me that I don’t see controls those things about me that I do see? What is my consciousness? Is there a difference in my physical brain originated consciousness, and the consciousness of my soul? When all of me that consist of carbon molecules and water is gone, what is the energy that goes on? What is the consciousness that continues? Where in the body does the soul and body interface, as the soul cannot be the brain because the brain perishes?

We as humanity do a whole lot of worrying about what we see, and how others see us. We worry about not doing on the outside when all along we are rotting on the inside. The invisible is what really matters. The invisible is where eternity is.

The kingdom of God is here right now… invisible and inside those who know Christ. How to we become more aware of that now?

Significance & Acceptance

Luke 16:15, “And He said to them, “You are those who justify yourselves in the sight of men, but God knows your hearts; for that which is highly esteemed among men is detestable in the sight of God.”

I first heard this concept of significance and acceptance from Dusty Kemp who incorporated into a message or two of how all of mankind universally seeks significance and acceptance. Perhaps he got this idea from Maslow who placed “esteem” between “love & belonging” and “self-actualization.” Regardless of its source I think any self-reflecting individual can agree that we all do want to be accepted and valued by others. We desire to be respected and to be considered significant, if not by the world, at least our family and friend groups.

Yet as natural as the desire of significance and acceptance comes, it is according to Christ not something originated with God in heaven. “That which is highly esteemed among men is detestable in the sight of God.” This is not to say that we should be characters of low self-esteem, but perhaps only that our “self-esteem” should come from our relationship to God, and not some ability to gain acceptance among men.

For me, I constantly struggle with suppressing esteem as a motivation. And God is constantly at work not allowing esteem motivated actions to yield the praises of men. In fact let me even say that there is false esteem which seeks man’s acceptance, and though the scripture does not say it, there are actions which God esteems, namely Christ at work in us.

I compete at work for little pieces of plastic recognizing most sales. Do I do it so that I can have a reminder of God’s faithfulness and blessings? No. I do it so that the people within the organization will know I am valuable to the company, and that they should esteem me in my dealings with them.

Sometimes my soul is lulled to sleep into thinking that I am beyond this very human motivation. Because I have become very comfortable as a loner, lost in my introverted mind and thoughts I lose my awareness that family, friends, co-workers, even strangers continue pull on the false esteem within.

Just the other day I was sharing with my dad an entrepreneurial adventure I am trying to embark on. It met with his immediate disapproval and criticism. And that criticism incited the anger within me. In fact, my first thought was laced with profanity and the very clear “I will show him.”

Why? Why was I mad? Why did I want to show him?

I did because my human nature was to seek significance and acceptance from him.

But I did not react. I did not speak, but miraculously became very aware in the moment. And my reply was, “That hurt my feelings that you didn’t think I was capable.”

Reality is his acceptance has nothing to do with my obedience to God. It has nothing to do with my reliance on God. Because of Christ I am accepted. Because of Christ in me I am significant. Selling the most at work is God’s blessing. The venture coming together is God’s walk with me in to a new chapter of challenges and dying to self.

Nearly 22,000 people have read my writings at this point. It kills me that there aren’t more comments, more accolades. But God has a different plan, and that plan is to crush the need to be esteemed among men.

I wrote a friend the other day, and to be frank it was 100% God, and it was good. I wanted, I even expected him to write me back with praises of how dead on I was. But instead he published my words as coming from an anonymous source. What a magnificent sign of significance and acceptance from GOD! What a magnificent reminder that I do not need, though I still want, the esteem of men.

Who are you trying to impress? Who are you trying to please?

Love is NOT “Fair” Part II

John 14:15, “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.”

As I continue to explore the idea of God’s love, and that God is love… I continue to find conclusively that love, true unconditional love, is not fair. Or should I say love does not in any way equate with material equality. And yet, in spite of God being love we somehow blame mankind for the financial disparity. The chasm of wealth difference between individuals magnified with comparing Bill Gates to the lowliest Batwa tribal member has us crying foul. (Batwa being the poorest people on earth) Does God love Bill Gates more? Has Bill Gates “accumulated” too much? Has mankind and capitalism counteracted God’s love and created the imbalance? Better yet, in our own little microcosms is Christmas and the gifts of the season some kind of example of how it “should” be? Are we righting wrongs and sharing love in giving gifts equally?

The resounding answer to all these questions is, no! What we fail to see is that God’s love is only concerned about today to the degree that that our interaction with life improves our character for some far off day and purpose in eternity. God, and only God knows the point at which life truly begins. That beginning point is not birth on earth, but I would suggest that life begins when our soul can walk and talk with our Creator in eternity. (I wish everyone could see how powerful that statement is.) All of this time on earth is the classroom of our soul. For some it is the potter’s wheel of the soul. For some it is the gold smelting furnace for the soul. For other’s it might be a garden for the soul. But each day, each interaction, each breath is governed by God’s love and His desire to be truly with us in eternity.

God is not, nor ever has been concerned with fairness as it relates to material or even earthly equality. Leviticus 19:15 says, “… you shall not be partial to the POOR nor defer to the GREAT, but you are to judge your neighbor fairly.” And so “fair” has nothing to do with equality, but transcends the earth and considers the soul’s eternal good. There is, and will always be the poor and the great (rich), but our interactions should not be governed by that. This is very much the message of Christ who in fact said, “You will always have the poor with you…” (Matt 26:11)

Have you noticed how the Bible tells us very little about heaven and the afterlife? Have you ever wondered why so much is left to the imagination? In part I think it is because the afterlife is about directly interacting with God, and what environment that interaction takes place in is irrelevant in comparison to the fact of being face to face with God. I think also little is known about heaven is because man in his god complex and sin infested free-will would try to concoct ways to make it there outside of a character conformed to the image of Christ, and outside of Love which is God and is the consideration of what is best for a person’s ETERNAL soul.

It is the unknown, it is eternity that love is concerned with, and as such must constantly depend on relationship to God, and not only relationship but obedience to God. “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments” Christ said. This is not simply the commandment to love Him and others, but this is perhaps primarily those softly spoken commandments directly to our soul. The commands that say, give this to that person, or write this to her, or go here to see him. The individual commandments that are acts of love and influence eternity are limitless.

Having said all of this I would like to be practical with this lesson at Christmas time. Christmas has become a holiday of spending. For many of us, our background, upbringing, doctrine, sense of social justice dictates that we must be “fair” and therefore equal in our gifts. For some we must spend the same amount on each child or family member. Based on the experience above, this is NOT love. What if you as a parent have 3 children and $100 to spend? Do you spend $33 on each? What if 1 truly needed something that cost $60? Would you be ok with meeting the $60 need, and giving the other 2 something at $15 each knowing they have no pressing need? Or does your love dictate that a “need” can be sacrificed in the interest of fairness? Or worse, would you give the all three $60 by borrowing $80 more from credit cards or the like?

As a child, is your love offended if your parent(s) seemingly gives more to a sibling?

In any of the above scenarios do you respond from instinct and education, or do you give prayerful consideration to it all. Can the offense of one child, and the need being met of another both be God’s love? Or has man played favorites? Whose plan are we executing? Whose kingdom are we building? Love is not fair, but love is perfect and at work saving us from ourselves.

The photo today is from Jim Spivey’s blog, and here is what he had to say, “…they claim to want to follow God’s Will for their lives, but they rarely know how to listen for that, because they are too busy trying to executing their plan, while protecting themselves, all the while claiming it’s about God.  God rarely conveniently fits into or behaves within our plans.  And He rarely protects us the way we first want protection.  Remember He is always willing to give us more than we know how to ask for.  We know how to ask for entertainment, pleasure, safety, surface stuff like that.  He has created Life, which will demolish our plans every time, NOT to hurt us, but to save us from ourselves and our busy, distracted, frenzied castle-making.”

Love with obedience, fully understanding love has nothing to do with fairness as we know it. 

Impasse of Reason

Impasse by Stephen Adams

Ephesians 2:4-5, “But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we are dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ,”

At some point I might cease to be amazed by God and how He coordinates all of life to teach us and lead us in this perfectly timed, orderly expression of His love. But today I once again “stumbled” upon His wonderful murmurations of love. This time with my favorite preacher of the past T. Austin Sparks. (May I stop here to thank God for all TAS’s writings and more so that the are 100%S available on the internet for free at www.austin-sparks.net)

If you have read my last two posts then you have walked with me in this crisis of love. I described it as clearly as I could, but then I read TAS today and he expresses it so concisely. He wrote in the very first chapter of “His Great Love” that, “Any of you who have known anything of a life with God can test it by your experience. You have these deep crises, you come to an impasse by reason of the ways and dealings of the Lord with you, and the one thing, the only thing, to save you is a new knowledge of the Lord. I ask you, has He EXPLAINED Himself to you in the first place? Has He ever come to you and said, "Now this is exactly why I have taken you, and am taking you, this way" - and so solved your problems and satisfied your mind? Has He done that? Not in the first place. No, the first effect of this deep exercise of your heart is the knowledge of His heart; that is, arrival in a new way at the fact and the reality of the love of God.” That is it… T Austin gets it… I am at an impasse of my reason, and I long for nothing more than to know the in comprehendible heart of God.

The whole work is wonderful to read, but let me share a little more in context before I go. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. For me it confirms I am on the right tract and not crazy.

“All the dealings and ways of God with His own people will have a twofold result - but mark well that this is with His Own, who have come into some very real and vital relationship with Himself in an inward way.

THE TWOFOLD EFFECT OF GOD'S DEALINGS

(a) A DEEPENING EXERCISE TO KNOW HIM

Firstly, a deepening exercise to understand Him, to know Him. Think about that. Is it not true that God's dealings with us and God's ways with us have the effect of causing us to reach out longingly for a knowledge, some better understanding, of Himself; when things have got beyond us, nay, the Lord has got beyond us. For all that we know, for all that we may have learned, He has got beyond us now. He is too deep, too hidden for us now; He is defeating all our efforts and all our ability to understand Him. But we are not just prepared to leave it there and throw up our hands and say right away, "Well, I do not understand the Lord, I do not know what He is after, what He means; I give it up." Those in whom the Spirit of God is at work find that, although they may be in such a position as to be completely helpless and hopeless in the matter of knowing and understanding the Lord, at this juncture they find they HAVE to know, they MUST know, they cannot just leave it there and give up. Everything depends now upon knowing the Lord anew. And it is a very big everything - far more than our life here on this earth as mere human beings. If that were all, we should cut it short and seek the way out through the forbidden door. But we know that something very much more is at stake than just the finishing of the tenure of our days on this earth. Everything that matters over and above this earthly life, all that we have said and professed and claimed and hoped for, is bound up with this crisis. There has to be a discovering of the Lord in some new way. That is the first effect of the Lord's dealings and ways with His Own.

(b) THE RESULTANT KNOWLEDGE OF HIS HEART

The second thing, as issuing from that, is the resultant knowledge - not in the first place of His mind, not an explanation to our reason, a solving of our problems, a satisfying of our enquiries, but the knowledge of His heart. Any of you who have known anything of a life with God can test it by your experience. You have these deep crises, you come to an impasse by reason of the ways and dealings of the Lord with you, and the one thing, the only thing, to save you is a new knowledge of the Lord. I ask you, has He EXPLAINEDHimself to you in the first place? Has He ever come to you and said, "Now this is exactly why I have taken you, and am taking you, this way" - and so solved your problems and satisfied your mind? Has He done that? Not in the first place. No, the first effect of this deep exercise of your heart is the knowledge of His heart; that is, arrival in a new way at the fact and the reality of the love of God. We shall come to the wisdom of God through the love of God. We shall come to the understanding of God only along the path of the love of God. Everything is revolving upon this pivot of the universe - the heart of God.

Is that not proved in many ways, and not least by spiritual conflict? Upon what does spiritual conflict turn and hinge? Well, when we get into the vortex of a great spiritual warfare, where the pressure is almost unendurable, where everything is going against us, when the heavens are as brass over us and our prayers seem to get nowhere, when the Word of God seems a sealed book, when adversity and disappointment follow on in quick succession, what is the upshot? The upshot is the love of God every time. When the evil forces create conditions like that, and when the Lord is giving them so much liberty for the time being, those forces are always near to whisper about His love, to turn for us His love into hate. "This is not His love, this is the opposite of love!" Is that not true? You have only to get right down, really down, to have that issue of the love of God presented to you. The heart of the universe is this matter of God's love.”

What is Love?

1 John 4:8, “The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.”

In my last blog I wrote a very heart felt statement of, “Honestly it makes me cry now, as it made me cry then. Because even though His love surrounds me, even fills me at time, I cannot truthfully say that I "know" God’s love. I do not know or understand the fullness of His love. I do not see into His heart like He sees into mine. And I certainly do not understand God’s love. Even at this point in my life my understanding of God’s love seems so objective. I yearn for a more subjective understanding.” Even today having meditated on God’s love for several days I continue to stand by that statement though all the while surrounded, even bathed in God’s love though consciously unaware most, if not all, of the time. And so perhaps this was a cry of ‘God make me conscious of Your love, help me understand Your love, or even help me be an example of it.”

Perhaps it was that very paragraph that trigger in my friend Jim Spivey the need to text me, “Do you KNOW that God Loves you? If not, HE REALLY DOES… and so do I.” Now of course I know God loves me, but sometimes I don’t “KNOW” that He loves me, because in the moment that “love” can feel sadomasochistic. But what really triggered me about Jim's statement was not does God love me, but the part where he said, “and so do I.” That is the part that I wanted to call bullshit on. I thought liar not because he doesn't actually love me, but because I have a close enough relationship to him and I see how he “treats” others differently... not that he has ever treated me poorly because he has not.

Stay with me on this please… Jim obviously loves his wife and children. If you know Jim for any length of time then you also know his friend Aaron… if Jim were to say he loves Aaron I could totally agree with him. And it is here, in this observation, in this thought process that God revealed something to me. That truth is that love is not fair. Do you hear me? LOVE IS NOT FAIR. Love does not, nor ever will give equal treatment to all individuals. I was reminded of the Protocol Son. I was reminded of Peter’s relationship to Christ compared to the other disciples, and I can go on and on where fairness was never a standard or measure of love. But how can this be if God loves equally? Why are the expressions of that love so different? Why was I born a white male in America in the twentieth century and not Somalia yesterday?

The truth as God explained to me lies in eternity. Love does what is best for the long term… namely providing what the soul needs to be maximized in the character and love of God long after removed from the confines and confinement of the earth.

Still being unaware of what God is trying to teach me about love Jim continued to text me over the next several days. The last text came on Saturday. It said, “You are adored, way more than you KNOW. Realize that this is SO, and that nothing can make it GROW, and absolutely nothing can make it GO!!” Up to this very point my thoughts of Jim’s texts were that he does like me, and he is trying to “fix” my self-image of love. But for some reason, this text broke through. The break through had more to do with the number of affirmations than the words of this one, I thought how audacious is God’s love. And with that I replied, “J”.

The next day I looked forward to what Jim would text me, and nothing came. My thought was, “see he was trying to fix me out of his own ability, it was not a true expression of love because he ran out of energy to do it.” And then the Holy Spirit spoke as clearly as I am typing. “Those were my expressions of love, and in Jim obeying Me he shared in My love for you.” Somehow, had there been another text it would have actually been Jim’s liking of me, and not God’s love of me. And in all of this, beyond the fact that love is not fair, His love is also so inseparable from obedience. Jim obeyed, and in that obedience I finally awoke to something new with God’s love. Oh I have experienced it thousands of times, but have remained largely unconscious to it.

I could stop here, but why because God did not stop here.

In His perfect murmuration I was driving home yesterday, and became thirsty. What popped in my mind was to stop at the Exxon station. I NEVER stop at an Exxon station. Walking in there was a homeless black man. He had a rolling suitcase of all things, and a baseball cap with 3 different kinds of skoal in it and a pack of menthol cigarettes in it. He was sitting on the suitcase blocking one of the doors to the convenient store part of the station, and had skoal all over his mouth. On top of that he was talking to himself and flailing his arms about. Inside the store the two female workers were complaining about him. I told them he is obviously mentally ill. To that they showed no compassion, and told me they had called the police.

I was filled with compassion. After my purchase I walked outside to the man and said this, “Unless you are hungry and would like a bologna sandwich and a warm place to sleep tonight I would probably go ahead and move on. The ladies inside have called the police.” Immediately he jumped up and left.

No big deal right?

Until the Holy Spirit said, “See you do know how to show My love.”

My thirst, my stop, the man, the compassion, the advice… all an expression of God’s love to a homeless man. Awesome!

And so I thought, “Which is better, to give God’s love or to receive God’s love?” The answer is clearly both. 

And to Jim... I do get your last message. KNOW God's love, so that I can GROW in it, and then GO show it to others.