We Never Know What They Meant To Us Until They Are Gone

John 11:35, "Jesus wept."

I was in a brief conversation with my life coach Jim Spivey talking about how crazy it is that when my brother-in-law Ed Kruger was alive I didn’t think of him every day, but now that he is gone every thought is on him. His reply was something to the effect of “we never know what they meant to us until they are gone.”

So as Ed’s body is laid to rest I want to share what Ed should mean to us all.

I imagine that Ed upon reaching heaven and the overwhelming presence of Christ and the Father that he was first and foremost humbled that he made it. I imagine that the peace and love of the presence of God-- that being in God’s infinite wisdom left any concern that he had for his family and children instantly vanquished with the truly knowing God’s love and promise for them. I can almost see the smile on Ed’s face at the instant full understanding of the temporary nature of life as he compared to the backdrop of eternity.

I am very thankful that God allowed Ed to visit his daughter Sara in her dreams the night of his leaving the bounds of this planet. Sara dreamt that she woke up and went into her parent’s room. There was her mom and Ed. Sara in shock said, “Dad you are not supposed to be here.” To that Ed replied, “I am surprised I woke up here too… but you need to know I’m ok, and it is all good.”

In the past 4 days I have re-lived in my mind thousands of moments of fun, laughs, and genuine good times with Ed. I have been through the very first day I met him all the way to the last conversation we had. And the funny thing is, all those things I held against him, all the things I thought he did wrong… they are completely gone. All I remember… at least all I miss and think on are the good things. I don’t look back and see the few things I could criticize, but I look back and see things that are inspirational. An incredible father without deceit.  I remember his humor, his ability to convince anyone to do anything. I remember how personable he was, and his uncanny photographic memory of people’s names and faces.

But what I think everyone should take away from Ed’s early death is the fragility of life.  I think everyone should understand that salvation is not based on church attendance, memorization of scripture, or even good deeds. For me Ed will always be a reminder that we do not need to beat addictions to make heaven… perhaps only fight them. No, Ed is a reminder to us all that we only simply need to believe that Christ is the Son of God and that He came to save us from ourselves.

Two days before Ed passed on he had an encounter with God in a surf shop. Come to find out Bingo, the shop owner, told Kelley that when Ed walked in the door the Holy Spirit told him that he must talk to Ed. They ended up in the back of the shop in an area where Bingo has daily praise and worship. Not only did this man share with Ed his struggle against addiction, but he also led Ed to pray a tearful prayer where Ed rededicated his life to Christ.

Ed had reported back that Bingo’s wife and said he was a buoy lost at sea. Come to find out she actually said, Ed is a buoy set free.

Be free Ed… until we meet again in eternity.

Lastly, as the family was selecting music for the service, Ed’s 8 year old son Blair said, “I’m going with 'Get Jiggy With It,' that was Dad’s favorite song."  So to Ed… here you go. 

Character – Ed Kruger Style

Psalms 116:15, “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.”

My last conversation with my Brother in law Ed Kruger was on Monday. I had called him to “fix” his life with a little advice. Little did I know he would provide for me a lesson on character.

You see “character” to me is that aspect deep within the soul that says who we are in the eyes of God. It is what He ultimately looks at. Character is that piece of us that God is constantly at work to transform into the image of Christ.

And so finding out that Ed could possibly be coming into a financial windfall from his accidental purchase of a rare surfboard I called him with a life plan. I told him that he should sell the surfboard and use the money as seed money to start buying and selling other things. He loves shopping for a deal at any pawn shop in his path, so I thought he could start going to storage auctions, in fact reference the show Storage Wars.

Ed’s reply shocked me, and as I reflect back it was a wonderful reminder of a Christ-like character deep within his soul.

Ed said, “I will have no part of taking someone’s life’s possessions for pennies just because they were so down on their luck they couldn’t pay a storage bill… and that show is all about people’s greed. I want no part of it.”

That’s character… Christ –like character in my book. 

The Surfboard - - A tribute to Ed Kruger

Ed's last picture 

2 Corinthians 13:4, "For indeed He was crucified because of weakness, yet He lives because of the power of God, yet we will live with Him because of the power of God directed toward you." My brother in law Ed Kruger for years has struggled with a very ugly alcohol addiction. One that left him in very fragile health. Yet even though he feel off the wagon a thousand times, time and time again I saw him battling the demon, and on occasion winning a battle. Yet in spite of this epic struggle, in spite of a separate economic ruin, Ed Kruger was foremost of all a father so very worthy of admiration. Ed loved his children as much as any man I know. He was proud of his jay-hawk daughter Sara. He went to endless measures to support his now teen age son Blake in racing, athletics, and life. And his 8 year old son was his best bud, and shadow. They often were found at the beach together fishing, or Ed teaching him to surf on pawn shop purchased surfboard. Nothing extravagant, Ed bought it for a few hundred at most. Who knows why but for whatever reason Ed liked to visit pawn shops and capture the occasional deal. This past weekend was no different than any other weekend as Ed and Blake went to Galveston for a little surfing. On the way home Ed decided to stop into a surf shop. He did that kind of thing, always stopping at some random place. Not wanting the surf board to be stolen from the back of the truck he and his boy carried it into the shop. There they met the proprietor who according to Ed was a Christian man. Somehow the gentleman told Ed his story of winning the battle of addiction, and somewhere in the conversation he asked Ed if he knew what kind of surfboard he had. Ed had no idea, but the surf shop owner did. The surfboard was a very rare board. In fact may from a wood that is banned from competition. And apparently the board is worth perhaps tens of thousands of dollars. Later the man's wife came out and said that Ed looked like a buoy to her. "A buoy?" Ed asked. Apparently to this woman Ed looked like a man without direction. Almost lost a sea looking for something. When I heard this story on Sunday I first thought how awesome is God to reach out to Ed with His love like that. The admiration was quickly replaced with jealousy over the blessing. The jealousy was obliterated today with grief as my brother in law died from a heart attack this afternoon. The text arrived from my mom. It said, "pray." As I prayed, asking God to spare his life, begging God to spare his life the Holy Spirit said to me many times, "He lives." I cried so hard because I knew He was saying, "He lives with Me." It's not fare. It hurts like hell. Anger, sadness, fear, hurt flood my soul and the souls of his family. There are three children tonight hurting far more than me. But Ed Kruger lives... not because Ed overcame his weakness, but because Christ did. Tonight he lives... tonight and every night from here on with Christ. To Christ Ed is that very rare, priceless surfboard. And like the collector Christ has decided there will be no more surfing the world for Ed. Oh know Christ has brought him home to a place of honor. God bless you Ed. We love you, and are going to miss you.