Moving Forward & Getting Over Myself

Philippians 3:7-14, “But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived by the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which come from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold or it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

My friend Jim Spivey from time to time will comment on “how together” he used to think he had it. Or perhaps it is a comment on “how together” he would portrait to others while completely tumultuous inside. Either way, I am starting not only to understand, but to live in that parallel corridor of the spirit. For too long I have been looking back at the wealth and success of the past as being God’s blessing and longing, hoping, praying to return; all the while justifying this attitude with the scriptural idea of resurrection or restoration. As if in my previous business life I “had it all together” and some demon from hell came and took it away because I was too perfect.

Barf….

In fact, today in the “surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus” I am astonished by my own arrogance that a little success birthed. Got it together? If I had it together then God would have left me there. But as Job discovered, the Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away, and as Paul says, “for Whom (and by Whom) I suffered the loss.” In fact, I for the first time understand that not only in years gone by did I not have it together; I still don’t have it together. I am so getting over myself that aside from obedience I would stop writing completely. What do I have to offer? And to the degree any of this is born in self and human understanding it is all worthless.

Surprisingly this revelation is exhilarating. To understand the past is NOT better than the future I am moving forward with Christ. To understand that if God wanted me where I was, or to return where I was then I would be there. Relying on grace I see that today much more of the surpassing value of Christ than ever. The past is so very forgettable. I press on, move forward, and get over myself. 

Relieved of the pressure to do, to have, to create I am free just to be what He created me to be today. Being freed from the past I am able to live today on a path forward with God, without direction, but step by step each day in fellowship with Him. Over myself I no longer believe my own advice and vow not to give it to others. There is only Christ, and there is only love for Him and one another.