Knowing Him

Philippians 3:10, “… that I may know Him and the power of His resurrections and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death.”

On Friday I enjoyed a wonderful peak in my relationship to God as I was by divine design unexpectedly invited to celebrate my friend and mentor Jim Spivey’s birthday. At the end of this celebration which included in its audacity filet mignon, Jim closed with something I had sent him from Oswald Chambers. Concerning the scripture above Oswald wrote:

“A saint is not to take the initiative toward self-realization, but toward knowing Jesus Christ. A spiritually vigorous saint never believes that his circumstances simply happen at random, nor does he ever think of his life as being divided into the secular and the sacred. He sees every situation in which he finds himself as the means of obtaining a greater knowledge of Jesus Christ, and he has an attitude of unrestrained abandon and total surrender about him. The Holy Spirit is determined that we will have the realization of Jesus Christ in every area of our lives, and He will bring us back to the same point over and over again until we do…”

I had sent this to Jim because it reminded me of him, but in Jim’s reading it I realize it was an affirmation from God of what I have been living with Him so intensely these past few weeks.

If you follow this blog, chronologically God has been confronting my materialism (wrongly acquired in perceived lack) with gift giving. And this has been such the rich experience like at Academy Sporting goods. I had gone in to simply buy socks and a pair of jeans when the Holy Spirit told me to get $20 cash back at the register. Walking to my truck I was approached by a man with a handful of flyers. He was a recovering addict panhandling for the ministry that was instrumental in revealing Christ to him. His story was heartwarming, but the look on his face as I told him Jesus has told me to get $20 for him only moments earlier was priceless.

Or how about the thought on the way to work that I should get some breakfast tacos for the people in the office. A thought dismissed for fear of not getting what they might want. Upon sitting down one of the processors asked if I would go to Whataburger and pick her up something because she was too busy to leave. Not only did I do it gladly, but I took orders from the whole office and bought them all breakfast. This was not random circumstance. This is God in my day.

How about the call to a friend in Colorado… I felt I should call right then as he popped into my head. Turns out he was at that very moment meeting with a man despondent at losing a wife after losing millions in a business. A beautiful story, though no doubt he does not see his own beauty and God’s interaction, but his story is a story I have lived, and I pray my words were timely encouragement.

On another day recently I knew that I would see Jim so I stopped at the ATM to get him one of my many $20 blessings. At the ATM God told me to get $60. I thought to myself... good idea, I need $20 for Jim, $20 for Jonathan on Friday, and I guess I can have an extra $20 for lunch. Upon walking in to see Jim and a couple of his friends there was Aaron. My smile must have been seen as I instantly knew who the other $20 was for. Which by the way… my prayer is that my $20’s would soon become $100’s, but that is really irrelevant. The point is obedience. The rewards from this cheerful giving are already manifesting both in reality and in my spirit.

Which brings me full circle to where I began… in living an undivided life where sacred is secular and vice versa I had been inspired by the Holy Spirit to invite my friend Jonathan to lunch. Jonathan is one of the handful of people I believe oozes Christianity even without every saying a word. Unlike me, he seems to instantly obey God, and recently has committed himself and his young family moving to Spain for a mission opportunity there. It was Jonathan that picked Friday. Well one thing leads to another and next thing I know we are meeting Jim on his birthday at a much nicer restaurant than we had originally planned. I will be honest, I was still committed to buying, but the restaurant selection did have me worrying about what the tab might be. How dumb… Filet for everyone, all compliments of another one of Jim’s many friends.

But it was not about the over the top lunch. It was about the over the top hug from heaven. As we celebrated Jim’s birthday, God celebrated each of us in our surrender and abandonment for Him.

:-)

Increase my faith

Luke 17:5, "The apostles said to the Lord, 'Increase our faith!'"

Based on the feedback my blog has apparently done it's job and conveyed quite well the spiritual struggle that I am in... to discover God as Provider and Provision. I compared my experience to Abraham taking Isaac to be sacrificed. But I am certainly no Abraham. And this is sad to me. The saddest thing to me is that I believed Abraham took Isaac to the alter expecting God to provide, but willing to kill his own son if God did not provide an alternative sacrifice. Abraham raised the knife on his own son. I am not even close to being in that place of faith. I say with my lips that my house is on the altar, and the equity it represents, but if I am honest my heart is far from it. I march this march purely in obedience, in the hope (not faith) that God is true to His word.  - - even as I write this God just shared with me an incredible revelation. Abraham did not have the faith for God to provide until the very point he raised the knife in obedience. All the talk to Isaac that God is Jehovah Jira was lip service. God knows our heart, He has no need to “test” our faith. He knows our exact level of faith. He was not testing Abraham’s faith. He was increasing it.That increase came at the point he raised the knife. Think about it. God could have provided the lamb at any point, but waited until the last second increasing Abraham's faith.

Likewise God is not testing my faith, patience, perseverance, self control... He is increasing them all. Or at least that's the hope.

The apostles asked to have their faith increased. Jesus explains the results of faith and goes into a parable about how the slave comes in from the field not to sit down and eat, but to get cleaned up and serve the master only to eat afterwards. He answers their request for increased faith with, "So you too, when you do all the things which are commanded you, say, 'We are unworthy slaves; we have done only that which we ought to have done.'" The apostles say, increase our faith. Jesus says then obey me and be humble when the results come. If faith is the meal at the end of the day, then it comes after exhaustion of everything we are. At the end of us faith moves.

What does all this look like in the real world? I have no idea. It could be me continuing to grind out a living in the mortgage business. It could be God telling me next week to get a job. It could be a winning lottery ticket. It could be a call to preach and a love offering that meets my needs. It could be someone wanting one of my books. It could be anything. But regardless, I have to be obedient to what I fell God is communicating to me. Not only communicating, but confirming. That obedience is a death experience. Something inside me does not want to obey, and that something must die, it must be brought into submission so that I can obey.

In the midst of it all is support from my trusted friends. They laugh hysterically at me. They have been through this very thing. They laugh because they know how good it is on the other side. I ask, how do I get there? They say, universally... keep going. The only thing to do is keep going.

At this point I wish Donald would put "Live what I believe" on  You Tube, but he has not, so enjoy this selection.

That I May Know Him

Phillipians 3:10, "that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death;"

Perhaps I got my mission wrong. The shameless surrender that some might know Christ more should probably say... that I might know Christ more. Yes, I did indeed get it wrong. The mission is shameless surrender that we might know Christ more.

I almost did not post anything today. Not that there is nothing to say, or that I don't have things worth reading. Just that there was nothing that I was supposed to say. And then the Holy Spirit led me once again to T Austin-Sparks. I was not looking for something to speak to me, I simply picked up the first thing I saw, and said ok God... speak to me whatever you have to say. And this jumped off the page. "The Dominating Objective Of The Divine Dealings With Us is that we may know the Lord. This explains all our experiences, trials, sufferings, perplexities, weakness, predicaments, tight corners, bafflings, pressures. While the refining of spirit, the development of the graces, the removing of the dross, are all purposes of the fires, yet above and through all is the one object - that we may know the Lord. There is only one way of really getting to know the Lord, and that is experimentally."

The past couple of days have been phenomenal blessings from God. Everyone around me seems to be  getting a blessing from heaven, and for what feels like the first time, I am truly able to rejoice with and for them. There is no jealousy, or "where's mine?" attitude. Except that there was a major disappointment when my younger daughter did not get an expected blessing. So I found myself in a funk. Why? God is moving, He is blessing, and clearly working in lives. And yet once again I am reminded that I took my eyes of the face of Jesus and started looking at His hand again... at what He can do, and not what He is. I violated my very own mission... to know Him more. Instead in my weakness I tried to see Him "do" more, and "do" it based on my definition and desires.

I'm not beating myself up, God is too forgiving for that. But I am certainly working on keeping focus. Focus on the fact that to know Christ more is perhaps the pinnacle of life. I am working on rejecting disappointment for the question of, what does this lesson teach me about the personage of Jesus Christ? For that matter, I am working on rejecting the excitement of blessings for the question of, what does this lesson teach me about the personage of Jesus Christ?

If all we look for in Christ is; what He can do, disappointment is likely to follow. But that disappointment, the accompanying trial, the host of negative emotions, are there to remind us we took our eyes off His face. The relationship inverted and in our hearts He works for us. Right the relationship by looking at Him and who He is.