Dreams

Ephesians 3:20, “Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us,”

I am in one of these strange expanding places with God. Expanding in that my spirit is wandering in many directions unable to comprehend all the implications and conversations of its travels.  On the most superficial plane of spirituality there is a struggle with my own competitive spirit wanting to be the best at something… or even everything. That place in my ego that is insatiable with accomplishment, impatient with doing more, faster. It manifest as being the top producer in the office is not enough. Winning the next and every sales contest is not enough. How do I do more?

And so on this level my mind plots and plans against everything I have learned in the art of surrendering to God. Just days ago a friend prayed that I would have big dreams for God. Am I supposed to have those?

For me personally, I am not at a place to dream; quite the opposite in fact. I am in a place where God is saying don’t think past this very moment, and in the next moment obey me just as you did a moment ago. Don’t think… don’t ask… don’t plan… “’For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not calamity to give you a future and a hope.’” (Jeremiah 29:11) I cannot ask God for anything, because I do not know what to ask. I cannot think of a plan to accomplish His will because His plans are already laid and so much larger than my own.

Going another direction... months ago I would have killed to be invited to minister. Now I have a standing invitation, and nothing to say. J What a joyful place to be where the ministry I have is from Him, and if He has said nothing to me, then I say nothing to others.

And then it all comes to this… “according to the power that works within us.” “For the kingdom of God does not consist in words but in power.” (1 Corinthians 4:20) A friend described the kingdom of God the other day like the One Ring in Lords of the Rings. It is of course not evil, but it is the tangible thing that exists and can be put on or made aware of. It has a power to open our eyes to see what the truth is. The truth that Elisah saw in 2 Kings 5:17, “… And the Lord opened the servant’s eyes and he saw; and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.”

So I do dream. I dream of going deeper into the gospel of the kingdom of God. I dream of seeing clearer. I dream of resting in the peace that God does have a plan - - that He is in control. I dream that I one day my love will be purer, and that I will enjoy the face of God. And until then I continue to crucify the competitive spirit and my own plans formed in selfishness.

Selah

And then the phone rings… it’s a realtor with a loan for me.  And then it rings again… it’s another realtor with another loan. Here I wasted all that energy plotting and planning how to get more loans when spending time with Jesus contemplating His kingdom was all that was needed.