My Rescuer

Psalms 50:15, “Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I shall rescue you, and you will honor Me.”

In the process of proof reading my post “The Disease of Divorce” I was hit emotionally from two very different directions. The first was complete compassion for my friend in his struggles. I don’t remember the pain, but I do remember it hurt very badly, and I so feel for the insanity of the emotional struggle he’s in.

But what really hit me was a memory of God rescuing me from one of the darkest moments in my life. I was in college in Austin, Texas. Eighteen years old and on an afternoon of drinking I found myself in a significant amount of trouble. After being questioned by detectives and making a call to my folks I was placed in a two person cell.

The whole experience was upsetting enough, but in the cell was some homeless drunk (I presumed) lying on the bottom bunk. He smelled of urine and feces. What was worse is he had a bugger collection started on the post of the bunks. Yes… a bugger collection. It seemed like hundreds as it creped a foot or more up the post. I remember not being able to see anything except for the cell across the way. The noise was deafening as fellow captives screamed at one another from cell to cell. The bars were small, perhaps a 12 inch by 6 inch opening and offset into the cell. This was the major obstacle in seeing anywhere but straight ahead. Occasionally a guard would walk by, and occasionally he would answer my question of what time is it. What was I going to do? My charges required a bond hearing. The people I had upset were of significant political influence. This was deep deep trouble, and I was more than depressed. I wanted an out.

Sometime around 10 or 11 pm my roommate was moved or released. As depression griped me and as I thought of the trouble I was going to be in with my parents as well I began to plot my exit. My shoe laces and belt had been taken from me, but I was able to tear the bottom of my shirt into strips. Weaving them together with my Boy Scott skills I had completed a noose. It was not strong enough to support my weight fully, but it was just long enough to tie it to the bars and if sat it would do the job.

And that is just what I did. I tied the noose to the bars, slipped it around my neck and sat down. As I did that a voice came from the ceiling. (literally) It said, “Jeff, I do not want you to do that.” I knew who it was. And I replied, “Then what am I to do Lord.”

He said, “Worship Me.”

Standing up I cried and said, “I don’t know how to worship you.”

Unbeknownst to me, about this time my parents were driving to Austin.  In the middle of the night they passed a billboard that said, “Just keep praying.”

And so here I was, having started the process of permanently checking out, and Jesus telling me to worship Him. As I cried that I didn’t know how to worship the Lord said, “You know Jesus Loves me don’t you.”

"Yes," I said.

He said, “sing that.”

I climbed onto the top bunk, laid on my back and sang Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tell me so…”

Obviously I am still here as this was nearly 30 years ago. On the way home I told my parents the story and we looked for the billboard, but never saw it again.

If you are wondering what happened eventually with the charges… they were dismissed.

Christ truly is my rescue. I share this in true shameless surrender so that those of you in dire trouble can know that He is your rescue as well.