Third Option

Joshua 5:13-14, “Now it came about when Joshua was by Jericho, that he lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, a man standing opposite him with his sword drawn in his hand, and Joshua went to him and said to him, ‘Are you for us or for our adversaries?’ He said, ‘No…’”

I learned a cute phrase the other day in my Iwo Jima meeting. The phrase is Third Option and applies to an alternative response to fight or flight. I would add that like the pendulum of the post “Overcoming Self In Christ” it is also the alternative to responding out of wounded self or ego defense.

Let me give you a practical example from my life.

I have a loan that in the last minute blew up because of insurance. I had nothing to do with the blow up as the loan officer but the clients cast 100% of the blame on me. Not only did they blame and accuse, they threatened to report me, to complain, and to sue me. Not to mention other venomous comments about my character all written in e-mail form.

My wounded-self wanted to respond with poor pitiful me, I will never get ahead. It triggered the desire to run in flight and ignore and leave the issue behind. My ego wanted to threaten back. My ego is always up for a fight, and I wrote more than one venomous e-mail back that did not get sent. Eventually these people said that would take it to another lender that would close it as is, without my unnecessary requirements, which were not “mine” in the first place.

Reluctantly I returned the original documents of the borrower. The co-borrower however had sent their information in electronically, and I had no legal obligation to return that information. In fact, when the request for them came I wanted to inform all parties I would not go to the trouble to round them up (ego)… but instead opted for the third option. I did not ignore, I did not argue, I in turn did what was right and sent the information.

Two days later I received another e-mail. Again full of venom, but this time said they would close with me if I met five of six demands. Wounded-self said to pretend I didn't get the e-mail. Ego said to respond with hell no. The third option was to ignore the venom and press on.

So for me I am going to keep the phrase “third option” in the foremost of my mind like I now keep the term murmuration. Third option is the answer to uncomfortable emotions. It is the answer to running or fighting. Third option… which really should be Third Option as if refers to Christ is recognizing both wounded-self and ego, and avoiding each to instead be a reflection of Christ. Third Option is more than What Would Jesus Do, because it acknowledges the alternatives based wholly in self and selfishness.

Life is not about your side or the side of the adversary. Life is Christ side. The Third Option is His way, not the highway. Join me in the Third Option.