Sins v. Sin

Romans 6:11, "Even so consider yourselves to be dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus."

I don't like to repeat what someone else has obtained by revelation, but this lesson in the difference between sins and sin is really too crucial to pass up.

I first came across the topic reading T Austin-Sparks, but the reading was a little lengthy and very heavy so I didn't spend a lot of time meditating on it. But then I picked up Watchman Nee's book "The Normal Christian Life." Nee wrote this after spending 8 months with Austin-Sparks.

Using Romans Nee and Austin-Sparks show this different between Sins - the acts or omissions of being disobedient to God v. Sin - the character trait within us that causes us to sin. The DNA of the soul that makes us all of the species Sinner. The sins, and the sin, create a dual problem for us that is solved by Christ on the cross.

Nee says, "...He only has one answer for every human need; His Son, Jesus Christ. In all His dealings with us, He works by taking us out of the way and substituting Christ in our place. The Son of God died instead of us for our forgiveness; He lives instead of us for our deliverance. So we speak of two substitutions: a substitution on the cross who secures our forgiveness and a Substitute WITHIN who secures our victory." To summarize Christ died so we would be forgiven by the blood. He lives so that we can be delivered by the cross.

When talking about the cross, it is not there for crucifixion. We are not crucified again to make reparations for ourselves. That was done. We were crucified, rather "our" cross is that place of utter weakness where we depend on no one other than God and His Son Jesus. It is here "sin" is defeated. It is here the DNA of our soul is changed from SIN to Christ. Nee says, "If we are preoccupied with the power of sin and with our inability to meet it, then we naturally conclude that to gain the victory over sin we must have more power. 'If only I were stronger,' we say, 'I could overcome my violent outbursts of temper.' and so we plead with the Lord to strengthen us that we may exercise more self-control... But this is altogether fallacy; it is not Christianity. God's means of delivering us from sin is not by making us stronger and stronger, but by making us weaker and weaker... God sets us free from the dominion of sin, not by strengthening our old man, but by crucifying him; not by helping him do anything, buy by removing him from the scene of the action."

The explanation of dying to self, of ego crucifixion, can be articulate no clearer. Or at least the necessity of it. In dying to self, we are delivered from Sin (Noun), we look more like Christ, and we become effective for the gospel. It is the place where we can truthfully say, it is no longer I that lives, but Christ. Perhaps most importantly, it is the place of being poor in spirit, it is the place where the kingdom of God becomes visible, it is the place where love becomes unconditional.

Getting Paid to Minister

1 Timothy 5:18, "For the scripture says, 'You shall not muzzle the ox while he is threshing,' and 'The laborer is worthy of his wages.'"

My wife and I just finished a discussion concerning my work effort and ability to provide for our family. The assessment is rather dismal, and though she appreciates the spiritual journey I am on, the practical side of life is bearing down with its burden. Do I continue to put the time into people and this blog, or do I reallocate that resource into finding a more promising career, or pursuing mortgages?

For me there is no other answer than to continue the spiritual journey. For Jamie it's time to fish or cut bait. It's a tough call for me. My wife is my number one ministry on this earth, so unless God can independently convince her (again) that I am doing the right thing. That this journey is His plan, along with the temporary discomfort of diminished resources, and is the absolute best for us both. If God does not confirm this for Jamie, then my only choice is to seek the unity of our relationship and change course. I think to deviate now will prolong the agony, but one thing is for sure, God can make it all work together for good. In fact, God has to make it all work together for good either way I go.

All of which begs the question, how do you get paid to minister? After all, if you're a full-time minister shouldn't God pay you for the work? In fact, how did Jesus get paid?

We know that there were certainly donations made to Jesus and the disciples. We see that in the disciples thinking the perfume used to anoint Him should have been sold so that they could have more to give to the poor. We know at the second feeding of the multitudes that there was savings in their possession equivalent to 10 months worth of wages because they considered buying the food. We know that Jesus owned a house, because when they tore the roof off it to lower the paralytic man "Jesus was at home."  We also know that when they had no money and needed it there was a silver coin found in a fish's mouth. But beyond that we have to assume that people gave Him and the disciples offerings.

We know that Paul made tents on the side for income, but we also know that churches supported his ministry by sending him offerings.

In modern day it seems that to get paid in ministry, the minister creates some sort of vehicle (non-profit) to collect the money. Often a church, but sometimes there is a para-church organization using projects to entice the giving in hopes there is some portion to go to financial support. The modern Evangelist, and now Apostle travel from church to church preaching for love offerings. But what are the other possibilities? Where is the creative miracle God is so famous for?

My friend Jim ministers to people one on one all day. He tells them all that he does not charge and is 100% dependent on God. And those same people and more contribute to him and his ministry in whatever way that can. So much so that the collective offering meets ALL his needs EVERY month. Jim's example to me is the closest I have seen to God's direct provision. Everything else has a business aspect to it.

I have been intimately involved with a few para-church organizations and fund raising has always been a problem and therefore a priority. The time, energy, and effort spent to raise money so that the ministry can be done is significantly more that the time spent in ministry. This should not be? So what happens is the business of ministry is developed, the patterns that create monetary success are defined, and creativity, flexibility, and obedience to the Holy Spirit are stifled. This stifling kills, and I see people everyday confused and wounded by the "business" of ministry.

God has a plan for me and the ministry He's called me too. I don't know what it is, but I know there's a plan. For Paul & Kristen that plan is a bed and breakfast retreat. But what is His plan for me?

It is this not knowing that in part drives me a little crazy. I can come up with hundreds of ideas of how to combine a non-church business with ministry. Say for example a coffee shop. After all, there is a lot of talking/consoling/ministry that goes on in coffee shops now. But what is God's plan? I know that it is not to create a church. But what?

If there is a plan at all, I think I will discover when I reach the point where I stop planning and only listen for His plan to come. And this is a spot I am very near to. I also think that I will hear the plan when I can be open to all possibilities, even possibilities I have never imagined.

At the same time I spend a lot of time illuminating what God is doing in others. Perhaps one of you has the illumination that I need. The statement of the obvious that I am missing.

Ministry

James 3:1, "Let not many of you become teachers (ministers), my brethren, knowing that as such we will incur a stricter judgment."

What is a minister? If you look up the term you will find things like clergy, someone who administers sacraments, politically it is someone appointed by a sovereign authority. Ministers can be teachers, pastors, evangelists, prophets, or apostles.

If you listen to my pastor's wife Laura, full time ministry is, "about 'doing life together.'  But this life is messy!  It involves hurt and grief and growth and tears... counsel friends who are struggling in their marriage, encouraging them to continue walking through the “tunnel of chaos” to be all that God intends for them to be... take your friends to chemotherapy, you cry with them and rejoice with them at each twist of the cancer roller coaster... It means you experience anger when faced with the devastating consequences of sin in a young life…again..."

Ministry is really just loving the unlovable and lovable. It is loving anyone and everyone right where they are. Ministry is meeting someone in whatever place they are, jumping in, and hopefully allowing them to see Christ in you so that they can discover or allow Christ into themselves. It is about observing Jesus in everyone you meet, and allowing them to observe Jesus in you.

When walking in love, Ministry, Oswald Chambers says, "Does God really mean us to take no account of the evil? "Love . . . taketh no account of the evil." Love is not ignorant of the existence of the evil, but it does not take it in as a calculating factor. Apart from God, we do reckon with evil; we calculate with it in view and work all our reasonings from that standpoint." So if a person is wrapped up in an evil lifestyle, love does not deny the existence of that evil, but neither is that same love mitigated or void because of it.

Ministry certainly includes preaching to the masses. It is accomplished in part by praying, praying, and more praying whether directly for the individual, or in the private prayer closet. For me, ministry includes writing. Writing in the form of reporting on the human experience. To commit to words people's walk and struggles with God. But what I do in writing, I see from experience is a very effective way of ministering to the individual. To jump in, to observe, and then to shine the light on God's perspective in the muck and mire of life. To look from inside the kingdom of God and be a light. Not a blind guide leading a blind, but an illumination of the path. Someone's problems are not there to be fixed by the minister. They are to be reported in proper perspective so that the individual can see clearly to rescue themselves. So that they can be encourage to keep going with God's path seems an uphill battle.

Jesus did not condemn the adulteress. He did not tell her how to fix her problem. Jesus stood with her while the people around cast their judgments. He did not console her and say look at these mean people. He stood with her until they were all gone. Then, once the crisis was over, He told her, go and sin no more. Get it? He jumped in and stood with her in the consequences. He didn't rescue, he illuminated the path. "Those who are without sin cast the first stone."

That is the beautiful expression of what I see ministry to be.

Until Death Do Us Part

Proverbs 31:10, "An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels."

I had the great pleasure of meeting Paul's wife the day after meeting Paul. (Back to the Future). She came to Love Machine in Tomball, which is a great group that gets together once a week.

Her name is Kristen, and having felt such a kindred connection to Paul I was really interested in meeting her. After all, behind every great man is an even better woman. Plus I wanted to get her take on their adventures with God over the past two and a half years.

My first impressions of Kristen was her contagious smile. She sat there in the group, just smiling. If I didn't know better, her expression could have been that of lounging around in a favorite pair of  pajamas watching a great movie. Paul on the other hand was still writhing in the pain of his transformation from submission to surrender. My second impression of Kristen came when Paul spoke.

Paul shared briefly his struggle with the group and Kristen's eye's were fixed on him. Her smile deepened. All I could see in that moment was this woman REALLY loves her husband. There was a sense of pride she exhibited. It was beautiful to know the struggles they had been through, and see such an unconscious expression of love, adoration, and commitment. I had to know her side of the story. I had to know if this was a super woman who had it all together, and patiently waited for her husband to come to this point; or if there was an equal struggle of transformation on her part.

We eventually connected by phone for my debriefing. As it turns out Kristen was not Mrs. Perfect, and the lesson was not for her husband alone. She too had to allowed God to use the hardships of the past couple of years to transform her. Somehow she found the will to continue with God and her husband in spite of the painful confrontation of herself. It appears that Kristen was not too long ago a "rage-aholic." I don't know the reason for the rage, other than something family related from her past, but it is completely irrelevant. Because in our face to face encounter she was all smiles, and now on the phone the smile was coming through again. I can not judge the rage dead, but I can say that it is dead enough that I cannot see it in her in the least.

Kristen went on to explain that prior to the financial demise she would engage in "retail therapy" to quite the confrontation with self. And though shopping does produce endorphins, it is just like God to remove the means to shop or any other substitute for His peace and relationship to Him.

So here's Kristen, realizing after two and half years of struggle that there is a purpose in it all. She is seeing God make lemonade out of lemons in both her and her husband. She, in the process of loosing her identity as the wife of the President of a Company, discovered her identity in Christ. She described it like a pie. The complete pie is all her in Christ. One slice is wife. Another slice is mother. On and on all making her her complete image and a reflection of Jesus.

Many weaker people have divorced for less. Many others have seen the value in their spouse as some external attribute, and when that thing is attacked or loss, so too the value of their spouse is lost. Not Kristen & Paul. They find value in each other. They find value in the walk together. They find value in being conformed to the image of Christ. Humbly they accept their own flaws and the need to change while simultaneously embracing their spouse's flaw and patiently waiting for God to do His work there. They have not survived... they have thrived. Even when her parents attack Paul and His parents attacked Kristen. They grew together just like they individually grew in Christ.

It is a beautiful relationship, one to be admired, and one to be emulated.

Back to the Future

Romans 8:28, "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

This week was Iwo Jima, a group of men wounded on the battlefield of ministry. I went expecting God to once again confront my prejudices in the form of the log in my own eye. What I got instead was an image of myself at some point in the future.

I always go to this meeting early. Hoping to have an opportunity to meet and share with someone in the coffee shop. Today was no exception. I was in the middle of the introductions to Paul (Myself in the future) when I was introduced to Birmy.

Birmy is a lovely girl, probably in her twenties. I have seen her a time or two, and she appears bubbly. She has a very unusual hair style, that I find kind of offensive, I would call it punk, and the shaved sides of her head give it a very masculine feel. After a quick hello Jim shared with me the story of hurt that became her stumbling block. While on mission trip some years ago Brimy was confronted by the spiritual head and Mission leader. She was told in no uncertain terms to never expect to ever be in any form of leadership. That women were put on the earth to follow orders and for the pleasure of men. Fortunately for Brimy the event did not cause her to hate God, only men... for which she is recovering. I pray the man repents, but if not I believe Jesus spoke Mark 9:6 for him. He said, "whoever causes one of these little ones who believes in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.

I look forward to meeting Birmy and further discussions, but the real purpose of my day was to meet Paul.

Paul is in from Colorado to close on the sale of his home in The Woodlands, and close this chapter of his life. It is a big step for him because in many ways it represents the point of crossing over from submission to God to surrender to God. You see Paul walked into a $40 million dollar business a few years back. A business that his father had built. I don't know the details, but the business under Paul's direction ended up in bankruptcy and closed.The sale of this house was the final connection to his previous life and pursuit of riches for riches sake.

It is odd how we can ignore the call of our heart and pursue things that look good and right. Long before the demise of the business Paul and his wife's heart desire was to open a bed and breakfast/retreat in Colorado. Once the business was gone Paul decided to pursue this dream. So Paul has the still quiet voice tell him to go to Colorado, but Paul in his wisdom, and perhaps insecurity decides he needs training and certification before opening a "retreat." He and his wife moved to Seattle, Washington, along with their small children, to go to the best coaching/counseling school they could find. Paul apparently wanted man's credentials to do God's work. Which works for some, but not Paul and his family.

18 months in the failed experiment, out of resources God sent an angel to Paul and his wife telling them they should have already been in Colorado, and that they should go there now. Very nice of God to so dramatically get them back on the right path versus allowing him to chase their tails any longer.

Up to this point Paul was in submission to the plan of God. He knew the direction, he knew the specific work...but his "self", his "ego" wanted more training because his previous training taught him training was important to succeed. While God's plan was not for success on Paul's terms. God's plan was not for Paul to be submitted to Him. God's plan was for Paul's complete surrender.  The closing on the home was the last anchor to the previous life. It was the symbolic gesture of this surrender. It is this transition from submission to surrender that I feel such a kindred bond with Paul.

It would be great if surrendering to God was quick and painless. It would be great if surrendering was not synonymous with dying to self. But it is usually painful, rarely quick, and absolute death. Paul's surrender started months ago with them moving from Washington state to Colorado. Arriving, they were immediately attacked by the in-laws.Days into the obedience came the pain from those closest to them. Paul was labeled as irresponsible, his actions of carting his family around the US without a steady job was crazy. Ironically the only encouragement they get to continue this spiritual journey is from "the aunts." Apparently "the aunts" are a lesbian pair of in-laws. (Which cracks me up how God works.)

Long story short... God leads Paul to taking a job at a retail store. While being on the bottom rung he continues to meet people in the community of influence and means. It appears God is bringing to him one by one future supporters and/or clients for the retreat. Then as the final act of surrender approaches with the closing of their home. The very act that demonstrates the loss of career, power, prestige, memories, dreams... of complete surrender to God -- the bed and breakfast appears on the horizon.God's vision for their life crested the horizon. Not only is the bed and breakfast there; the owner, just on Paul's expressed interest, lowered the price. 

It is this vision appearing on the horizon, approaching Paul and his family like a much needed supply ship that excites me beyond measure. I see in Paul's tale of his past 2.5 years as my last 4 months. I see God with a plan. I see a changing of the seasons for Paul. A leaving of the wilderness and entering the fight for the Promises land. No more wandering in the waste land. No more directionless life. But direction, a plan, something to do, a hope... it is beautiful. For Paul it appears the Master is ready to put His bond-servant to work.


Probably the most exciting aspect of Paul's story for me is that it confirms I am on the right pat

Full Circle

Romans 11:29, "for the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable."

Amazing to me how life has come full circle. In 2002 I was hitting the a peak in my relationship with God. Having completed Ministry School I found myself daily in the hospitals praying for the terminally ill. Simultaneously I had a $14M/year business under a fatal attack.

At the time I thought I was loosing it all because the devil was mad I was out doing God's work... seeing His healing, and watching lives change.  The logical solution to me was fight the devil, and the way to do that was to rebuild or remake the wealth. Then when the wealth was back I planned to go back to doing God's work because the wealth enabled the time and resources to go and come in ministry.

Simultaneously my dad was suffering from the same events and others. He found himself hanging onto nothing. While I went to chase a new career, build a new business, he would go and pray. Everyday praying. For years praying, not pursuing a job, not pursuing a recovery, not pursuing anything. And little by little spectacular events occurred and currently he lives with an abundance.

And yet, with this fine example, I pursued my plans to the point of exhaustion, only to return to where I was back in 2002. At this place of decision. A decision to return to the point of prayer, or effort. The place of pursuing a piece of security, or Peace & Security.

T Austin-Sparks turned my life upside down in the Ministry school 15 years ago with his book the School of Christ. And once again I find myself immersed in his works daily. Everyday I pick up something new of his. Everyday it speaks volumes. T Austin-Sparks confirms from the grave that prayer is the only option. Peace & Security are only found in Christ.

I feel like I have just spent 9 years chasing my tail. As Jim would say chasing a tail, thinking I am going to catch something I don't have, only to catch it and realize I've had it all along.

The chase is over. The end of my business in 2002, I believe now, was supposed to be the end of business for me, and the beginning of ministry. Enough time as been wasted chasing a paycheck. I am a bond-servant of God by choice, and in such there is an inherent promise that all my physical needs will be taken care of.

Logs

Matthew 7:5, "You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you can see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."

So Jesus says we are hypocrites, in other words guilty of our own judgments of others. But not just guilty, overwhelmingly guilty by declaring our negative observations as a log in our eye. Some versions call the "speck" in our brother's eye a splinter. And to me this makes more sense in that a splinter is certainly a tiny sliver of a log.

The applicability of this scripture is not the guilt our hypocrisy can create, but rather the truth that our judgments of another person are really just a reflection of a much larger problem within ourselves.

For example if I look at someone and see them as controlling, it is usually because either I am observing a mirrored trait of what I am, or because their behavior has magnified a related issue in my own heart.

Likewise when you hear someone's judgments in gossip or confrontation, they are usually an unconscious confession of who they are.

I'm quite sure modern psychology has some fancy terms for this phenomenon, but at the end of the day it is a spiritual truth that Jesus pointed out years ago. A truth that is potentially at work every time we encounter someone one. And certainly observable in group interactions.

The point is that we need to be aware of our judgments and the refection of ourselves they represent. They are so often an opportunity to whittle at the log in our own eye so that we may see clearly.