Francois

Acts 2:45, “and they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need.”

I had the pleasure of being invited to minister to a group of about 30 young adults on Friday night. The evening started with a time of food and fellowship. As we were about to bless the food a woman named Francois walked in and shared her predicament with one the leaders. From there we as a group were given the opportunity to bless her financially. Seems her and her family were staying around the corner at a hotel, having been evicted from their apartment days before.

Her husband was out of work, her 2 boys were teenagers and in school. They were walking the feeder of the freeway wondering how the hotel would be paid for the coming nights. As she was praying for provision  Francois said that the Lord spoke to her spirit. He said to her, encourage. She said, “yes Lord, I am encouraged.”

She didn’t even realize they were walking past Encourager the church until her husband pointed it out. And so, at the prompting of God she comes in to beg a little bread, or more truthfully a couple of nights rent.

For me, Jesus walked in the room. How could I refuse to give Christ some cash so that He would have a place to lay His head? Other’s felt the same way and it was a beautiful expression of sharing with a family in need. The entire family stayed, enjoyed some hot dogs and cake, and stayed for the service.

What a pleasure to see so many reach out to them with works, and with prayers. Perfect strangers perfectly loved by the group. Seen for who they were, reflections of Christ, brought into our gathering so that we could be reflections of Christ back.

They didn’t smell nice, they were not dressed nice, but their smiles filled the room with joy, and deserving of every hug given them. I dare say a one did not fail to recognize the time of our visitation. (Luke 19:44)


Adding to the evening, the young adults group is called IMPACT. On this evening the impact was on all of us.

Priceless

Matthew 13:44-46, “The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and hid again; and from joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.  Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking fine pearls, and upon finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had and bought it.”

In all of the various forms of Christianity it is pretty common to have an understanding of the person of Jesus Christ. Universally it is really understood that God sent His Son for the redemption of mankind.

Less familiar is the Holy Spirit Who is sent by Christ to be our Helper. In fact, the Holy Spirit comes with a bit of controversy depending on denomination and upbringing.

Even less known, or talked about is the Father.

Least of all seems to be this idea of the kingdom of heaven.

Here Jesus comes to earth with a message. That message was the gospel of the kingdom of heaven. It was not the gospel of salvation. It was not the gospel of Christ. It was the gospel of the kingdom of heaven. But what is it?

Simply put, and without theological explanation, the kingdom of heaven is God’s domain. It is the area, the spiritual space that God occupies. Jesus says that it is inside us. (Luke 17:21) Jesus also said that the kingdom of heaven grows. (Matthew 13:33)

So there is this space that is inside of us, containing the Trinity, that is growing and competing for more room. But why do so few connect to it? Why do we hear little to nothing from pulpits regarding the kingdom of heaven? What was Christ first request in Him teaching us to pray? “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”

This kingdom is not something reserved for Christ return. It is here now. It is like a treasure that some stumble upon, and it is like a merchant that seeks some out. But it is real, it is tangible, and it is growing inside you. It is accompanied by a growing awareness of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. The kingdom of heaven is expanding inside of us, and as it expands it is felt as conflict, ego must move aside and die as the kingdom inside of us grows.

But once the awareness happens, once the scales come off the spiritual eyes and the treasure that the kingdom of God inside us is made real; then we see how priceless it is. It is this kingdom of God awareness that inspires people to lay down their life, to take up their cross, and to do it at any cost.

May God allow you to discover the treasure that the kingdom of God is, and may He do it today.

Choice v. Decision

Matthew 5:44, “But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

My friend Aaron was used by God yesterday to show me a distinction between choice, or choosing, and making a decision. The thoughts or attempts to understand it continued beyond bedtime and into this morning where my daily devotional time once again touched on this idea of choosing.

And so, in an attempt to condense the lesson into an understandable, concise thought, I would say that it is first necessary to understand that a choice is made when choosing between objects. Decision on the other hand is the process of picking between different actions.

Aaron used the objects of chocolate and vanilla ice cream to illustrate his point. I would say consider this:

Someone offers you a Ferrari and a Volkswagen Beetle. Both are free of charge, but you can only have one. For me, my “Choice” would be the Ferrari. However there is something inside of me that says that even if the Ferrari was free, I would not be able to afford the operating costs so I had better choose the Volkswagen. To take the Volkswagen would be a decision, whereas for me to take the Ferrari would be a choice.

With me so far?

But in order for me to “choose” the Ferrari, I would necessarily have to not consider the costs. My “choice” of the Ferrari would have to be unconditional.

Sound familiar? Unconditional being so commonly associated with the love of Christ, and the love that Christ requires of us.

And thus, loving an enemy becomes a choice, and not a decision. Sure love seems to be an action, but really it is not. Love as a choice is to say I have no conditions on this person. They do not have to treat me right for me to care for them. They can treat me wrong, and I will still care for them. I choose them without consideration, unconditionally, without decision process, and love is created.

And so this bud of choice opens up into a flower of choice. God chooses us unconditionally. Have you chosen God, or have you made a decision based on fear, consequences, rewards, or some other action? The kingdom of God is real. Have you chosen today the kingdom of God, or the kingdom of Satan?

Have you chosen your spouse, or did you make a decision concerning them?

Have you chosen your job, or make a decision to take it?

Have you chosen life today, or death?

Have you chosen freedom today, or slavery?

Aaron also told me a story of Nelson Mandela. He said that one day in prison Nelson Mandela said, ‘wall, I choose you to be here; wall, I choose you to be here; wall, I choose you to be here; door, I choose you to be here; skin, I choose you to be this color.’ And then he lay on the floor laughing and crying. When asked by the guard what was wrong he said, “I am free.”

Choose today Who will be the object of your affection, choose Who will get your obedience. Choose Who will be that unconditional choice.

"If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve..." Joshua 24:15

Community/church

Philippians 2:4, “do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.”

Henri Nouwen had this to say about “community.” He said, “The word community has many connotations, some positive, some negative. Community can make us think of a safe togetherness, shared meals, common goals, and joyful celebrations. It also can call forth images of sectarian exclusivity, in-group language, self-satisfied isolation, and romantic naiveté. However, community is first of all a quality of the heart. It grows from the spiritual knowledge that we are alive not for ourselves but for one another. Community is the fruit of our capacity to make the interests of others more important than our own”

Take this in context of what we describe as church. Church being the gathering of like believers, under a common banner, adhering to common rules in the form of doctrine, and stirred by a common culture manifest in an edifice and worship style. To the degree that this church, this community, brings positive value, then it is of value to the real Church.

The real Church being the body of Christ, not bound by buildings, style, or doctrine - - but the collection of all of Christianity in the bond of Christ.

In this vain denominations are communities that though physically isolated are still part of the larger Church.

All of which seems commonsensical, and yet God has given me a disproportionate number of friends who could be described as ex-ministers. Men and women of God who have given up on the “church” altogether. For them I struggle to articulate the value of “church” beyond the schemes and plans of men. A church, as a community, has value to the larger kingdom of God, even in the midst of political infighting, possible mismanagement, and the bureaucratic nightmares.

Why do we judge our churches based on their influence? Why are churches judged as too entertaining, too watered down, too charismatic, or not charismatic enough? Why do we judge churches as being hot or cold or something in between? How many have judged a church as being all about the money? On the contrary we should judge the church as, is this a community I belong to? Is this a community God is calling me to be a part of?

Reality is a church is nothing more than a community, and the personality reflected is a common personality amongst those that call it their community. If what Henri Nouwen says is correct. That “community is the fruit of our capacity to make the interests of others more important than our own.” The what better place to practice not being offended, and putting someone else’s interest ahead of ours than in a church community? Do the degree we do this as individuals, then the community and the body of Christ as a whole benefit.

Church in so much as it is community serves an eternal purpose in the formation of the Real Church/The Body of Christ. Community, and therefore church is a practice grounds for love.

Let this be an encouragement to participate in the community that is your local church. They need you as much as you need them.

Hypocrisy

1 Timothy 1:15, “It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all.”

These are the words of the apostle Paul to Timothy. How about that for a self reflection… Paul calling himself the foremost of all sinners, and yet he is attributed to two thirds of the New Testament. Here is a man, at the end of his life, whose letters will survive and be used by God for millennia admitting he is far from perfect.

How is it that we can accept the murders and imperfections of Paul -- follow his teaching on Christ, and can find the reason to call anyone within the body of Christ a hypocrite?

Hypocrisy is the pretending to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs. Was Paul pretending to be pious when he describes himself as chief among sinners? Does the fact that Paul was responsible for killing Christians negate his writings concerning Christ? Does Paul, or any of us, being sinners negate our love for God?

Because I am a sinner, does that negate my writings or teachings? Is the anointing of the Holy Spirit to minister limited to those who achieve perfection, or is God’s word true in that our sins are covered by the blood of Christ and not our own doing?

Does the truth coming from the mouth of a sinner make it any less truthful?

I am a sinner, who is deeply in love with God. I am a sinner who trusts in the blood of Jesus Christ to allow me access to my Father. I trust in the Christ obedience as the ONLY way for me to have access and awareness of the kingdom of God.

I am not a hypocrite. There is no pretending in me. I may cause offense. I may have freedoms that other’s doctrines will not allow them to have, but like Nathanael I pray it will  be said about me in heaven that I too was one that “in whom there is no deceit.” (John 1:47)

I laugh a little because so many are confused by the idea of Christianity. They think that it is a system of behavior. And in fact, over time, with each encounter with Christ behavior changes, but it has little or nothing to do with behavior. In the gospels Jesus tells some who healed and cast out demons in His name to depart from Him because He never knew them. He goes on to say there are only 2 commandments… love God, and love our neighbor. Christianity has never been about what you do? It's about who you are. Are you a friend of God? Do you love God? Do you love your neighbor?

There is no hypocrisy in love. There is no guile in love. And for me, there is nothing that will ever stop me from proclaiming that love. It is unconditional. 

Dying a Thousand Deaths

Luke 9:23, “And He was saying to them all, ‘If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me.’”

Early on in my walk of Christianity I really struggled with this idea of taking up the cross at all, let alone daily. Now, having discovered it is the entrance to the Kingdom of God now, and not some distant point beyond death, it is taking on all new meanings.

For example, I was talking to my friend Jim the other day and sharing how I struggle with focusing on negative body language and harsh tone rather than hearing the person.  I want to know how to take a butt chewing, or at least a perceived butt chewing, and see into the heart and the truth of the conversation.  I desire to look past a person’s distain, or even disinterest, and be able to truly love that person in the godliest of way. And yet I am unable. Something stands in the way, or forces itself upon me to take the “look” or the “tone” personally. The scars of previous hurts, the inflated ego of thinking myself to be something I’m not, or just plain selfishness prevents me from achieving the same peace Jesus showed us in similar situations.

This is the daily cross. To be aware of something in the way, and to allow that same thing to be crucified… to die. Sometimes the pain is crucified on the cross with granting forgiveness to the offender. Sometimes the ego which is always inflated is painfully crushed and sacrificed in order to be closer to the Father. And even still other times the cross is simple surrender to the will of God, laying down my life. Not a physical life, just laying down the illusion I have created for the world to see and that I too often believe.

The cross is selfless love. The daily cross is dying a thousand deaths. John 15:13, “No greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.”

The look, the tone, the insolence, the arrogance is not who they are… it’s not who I am. Father help me to see them as you see them. Help me to hear them as you hear them. And help me to continue to die the death of ego so that the complete otherness of your Son can shine through.

Shakespeare said, "Cowards die a thousand deaths. The valiant taste death but once." I think Jesus might disagree.

Good Samaritan

Luke 10: 33-34, “But a Samaritan, who was on a journey, came upon him; and when he saw him, he felt compassion, and came to him and… took care of him.”

I just wanted to honor my friend Gary today for his complete act of kindness yesterday. Like the Jewish man in Luke 10 I did fall among robbers yesterday, and though they did not beat me like in the story of the Good Samaritan they did tow my car off to their den of thieves and held it hostage for $218.30. Hardly justice in my book for $5.00 worth of parking that a broken machine would not accept.

And so I found myself after dark in downtown Houston without transportation, or any cash. I seethed with anger as the tow truck driver relished in his accomplishment. And yes he was there, freely admitting to towing my car as he gladly hooked up another one. What was I going to do?

Rolling through my mind was thoughts of firebombing the storage lot. I wanted to curse the tow truck driver with some horrific, painful, slow, agonizing death. Doesn’t he know my family is 45 miles away, and rescue seems unimaginably long on my empty stomach?

And so I cried out to God. Give me wisdom for the situation. Instantly Jim pops into mind and I try to call him… no answer. Then Shaun… no answer. Then Gary… poor guy took my call.

I describe my predicament and he relays his… he’s on a date with his wife. Thank you Mona for allowing your husband to come rescue me in the midst of your date night. They agreed to pause the date & the movie in the DVD player and Gary came to get me.

The story should end there, but arriving at hell’s satellite location, Satan’s spawn did not accept my proof of ownership or form of payment. Now Gary would have to call his wife again… this time to blow out the candles; forget the movie because he was bringing me home to print off an insurance card and valid proof of ownership. On top of that he was also going to front me the cash to get my car out of hock.

In the end I got my car, made it home by 10:00pm for some delicious pot roast, and got to spend some unscheduled time with a friend I love dearly. I am so blessed that God has surrounded me with such wonderful people who truly live this thing we call Christianity.

Thank you Gary for being Christ last night.

And yes the music selection is the same 3 days in a row. I cannot get it out of my brain, and on top of that is the theme of my message I have the pleasure of ministering on 01.27.12.

Skinning the Cat

Matthew 9:28-29, “Then He touched their eyes, saying, ‘It shall be done according to your faith.’ And their eyes were opened…”

Mark 8:23-25, “… and after spitting on his eyes and laying His hands on him… he looked intently and was restored, and began to see everything clearly.”

We have a saying in the south that goes like this, “there is more than one way to skin a cat.” Why anyone would want to skin a cat is beyond me, but why the Son of God would spit into a blind man’s eyes is equally perplexing. But regardless of how Jesus varied in His approach the results were both equally miraculous, namely a blind man received sight.

And yet, even with this prime example that within God’s will there are a multitude of paths that achieve His purpose we still as mankind selfishly believe that our way is the only way. Yes the way is narrow that leads to life, but that narrow way that is also straight looks a lot more like the spoke on a wheel than a single line for all of mankind to jump on. We all start on the outside and move to the inside center which is Christ.

And so I ask, why does the employee know better than the boss? Why does the husband or wife know better than their spouse? Why does the student know better than the teacher? Why does the friend know better than the friend? Why I am befriended because of my heart, but that heart not trusted in its ways? Why do I demand acceptance, and fail to give it? How arrogant of me to think my spoke is the only spoke in the wheel only to be in conflict with the other spokes.

Paul wrote, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” (Rom 12:18) Thank God he said, “if possible.” It can be so hard to be at peace when someone in our life is marching to a different drum beat. It can be so hard to find that peace when that is not the way “we do things.” And yet in it all Christ says, “Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.”

Father help me to not be fearful. Help me to understand there is more than one way to get to the end, and that just as you work all things together for good for me You are also working everything together for good for all those who love You. Help me to find that perfect unity Christ spoke of in John 17. A unity that is not about path, but about direction… a unity that is not about actions, but about the heart behind the actions. In the end… help me walk in love because that is what it is all about anyway.

And yes the music selection is the same as yesterday. I just want to wake up as God's child and shine like He intends.

Private Tutor

John 14:26, “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you.”

What did we ever do before search engines, bibles, bible studies, exhaustive concordances and church services? How about this tidbit… the whole of two different apostles’ relationships to Christ are found in one letter written by each. Was it their lack of the materials and resources we have today which left us with such a small written record? Or did God know what He was doing in giving us the minimalistic Gnostic material?

All these tools are wonderful, but I wonder how much technology has interfered with the Father’s original intention of relationship. “He (the Holy Spirit) will teach you all things…” face to face, in person, in relationship the Holy Spirit is there to teach us everything. And not only does He teach, but He brings to remembrance. The Holy Spirit not only educates, but helps with the test as well. How cool is that?

This is not to in any way intended to be an encouragement to forsake any of the biblical resources that we have. But it should take some pressure off knowing that if we have taken it in, then the Holy Spirit is there to help us remember and regurgitate when He deems it needed.

In fact this scripture has impacted my life to the degree that I no longer underline or put notes in my bible. I found that having been through the bible several times I would only read what I underlined, and my notes would sometimes keep me from seeing new revelation within an old scripture. So now I read without distraction and with the expectation that the Holy Spirit has something to say and teach me today. Having been in this thing called Christianity for three decades I can say that more often than not, the Holy Spirit teaches me something and follows it up with scripture, as opposed to reading and scripture and then being taught.

There is an old saying that is very applicable here. It goes… it’s not what you know, but Who you know. I will take knowing Him over knowing about Him any day of the week. I love my Private Tutor, and He is with me everywhere I go. 

That said, today’s music selection is unrelated. I just discovered the song and love it. So listen, and be part of the spirit of God it projects. 

The Power to Choose in the Game of Life

Deuteronomy 30:19, “I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you may live, you and your descendants.”

I write a lot about living in the present, practicing the presence of God, and the importance of not worrying about tomorrow because God is in control. This subject matter when viewed singularly can lead some to believe that perhaps I practice a philosophy of divine destiny. Without further explanation it might negate the place of free will and our choices in life. So let me explain with visualization how God’s absolute control works in conjunction with our free will.

Consider a chess master. Here is an individual capable of moving his piece while simultaneous considering his opponents possible moves and reactions dozens of moves ahead. He does not know how his opponent will exercise his free will in moving his pieces, but he able to consider the choices and plan his moves accordingly.

Now consider the world as we know it as a game of chess. Instead of the game board being 8 x 8, imagine a game board 2,000,000,000,000 x 2,000,000,000,000. Not only is it two dimensionally 2BB x 2BB but it has a 3^rd dimension that is also 2BB. Not only is the game board 6 billion cubic spaces, but it is growing and expanding outward at the same time. This is the game of life that God is the Master of. He moves within this infinitely large rubix cube to work everything together for good.

Our part is to either continue to move through the game selfishly taking steps motivated only by our own carnal needs, or to move in unison with the heart and thought of God. This is our choice, this is our free will. Do we continue to do everything from self, or do we become aware that God is in everything and every decision, and do we line up in obedience with His will?

Do you see the importance of practicing His presence? Can you see how being aware of God and His kingdom 24/7 is of benefit?

Today the homeless man on the street corner is a choice to obey God, or not. That co-worker and the interaction is an opportunity to obey God or not. And the obedience is simple, and often times contained within our soul in the form of surrender never requiring a physical act at all. The choice can be as little as will you smile, or will you frown. Or perhaps will you stand for truth, or what makes your life the easiest.

God is going to move to work all our decisions for good. But that good is defined by, and for His benefit.

In the end, tomorrow is just another opportunity to obey today. And obedience comes in the awareness of practicing His presence wherever you are.

Judgement

1 Corinthians 3: 12-15, "Now if any man builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, each man's work will become evident; for the day will show it because it is to be revealed with fire, and the fire itself will test the quality of each man's work. If any man's work which he has built on it remains, he will receive a reward. If any man's work is burned up, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire."

Yesterday I was in traffic court, and for whatever reason court, even this least form of court creates in me a significant amount of anxiety. Why do I feel that they are going to arrest me when I have done nothing wrong? Why does my mind play out the worst of scenarios?

And so as I wrestled with understanding and embracing this anxiety of judgment I found my spirit in discussion with Christ about final judgement.

I am reminded of the passage of scripture above. It is in reference to what happens for all of Christianity at the judgment seat of Christ. (2 Cor 5:10). This is not to be confused with the Great White Throne of Judgment where non-Christians are judged. (Rev 20:11) And so I wonder, will I be anxious in heaven worrying if am I going to make it in? Will I be anxious to find out if any of my works remain post a testing of fire? Is judgment going to be similar to trying out for a high-school sports team? Hustle, hustle, hustle... do your best, and then await that anxious moment where the coach decides who makes it and who is cut? Or will love give me confidence in the day of judgment? (1 John 4:17)

To a degree some level of confidence is  given knowing that my judgment will not be for salvation and entrance to heaven, but rather by Christ and a judgment for rewards. So perhaps the anxiety, if there is such a thing in heaven, will be the anxiety of wondering just what reward God has in store.

For me I think there will always be some level of anxiety in the area of judgment because in the end our success in Christ terms depends on how we live by the spirit, and  to what degree do we have relationship with him. The works that are burned up or remain are not "Christian efforts." Those most certainly will be burned up. On the contrary, based on scripture, (Matt 7:21-24) the one thing that can stand the fiery test of Christ is love. Acts of love in relationship and obedience to Christ... that's the ticket to rewards in heaven.

Father, help us love.

Tomorrow

James 4:14, “Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and vanishes away.”

The theme of yesterday and this morning that God is hitting my spirit with is “tomorrow.” Yesterday our Sunday message included a segment that discussed planning. It was noted that those who planned in the greatest detail were the most successful.

[I personally doubt that study because in my lifetime I have seen numerous detailed plans, business plans and otherwise, fail. And there is no correlation between having plans and those plans succeeding.]

But I digressed…

The point is there is “a” voice saying the future (tomorrow) depends on your plans.

Then this morning I watched an interview by Oprah of Joel Osteen. When asked if poor people don’t pray enough Joel in essence responded by saying there are some good people who haven’t gotten their “breakthrough” yet. He mentioned God’s plans for us and how life is designed to be lived abundantly. So another voice says, the future depends on you praying and believing.

Then I open Henri Nouwen’s daily devotional e-mail and again the same theme but a different take. “Often we want to be able to see into the future. We say, 'How will next year be for me? Where will I be five or ten years from now?' There are no answers to these questions. Mostly we have just enough light to see the next step: what we have to do in the coming hour or the following day. The art of living is to enjoy what we can see and not complain about what remains in the dark. When we are able to take the next step with the trust that we will have enough light for the step that follows, we can walk through life with joy and be surprised at how far we go.”Henri’s voice says we can’t do anything about the future… just enjoy what you can see today.

Who is right? Are they all right? Is there even a right and wrong?

To that I say if God tells you to plan, then plan. If God tells you to believe, then believe. And if God tells you to not worry about tomorrow the don’t worry, but enjoy the light of today.

As for me, I will follow Christ in His words of Matthew 6:33, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” For me Jesus’ words in Matthew 6:34 ring truest when He said, “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

In the end it is up to God to bless. As for being able to invoke God’s blessing in our life through prayer or pious behavior, I for one believe this is impossible under the New Covenant. And yet I write this being blessed on every front. Ten years I have struggle financially, and yet in January 2012 I could make more than all of last year. For six years I lacked companionship, and yet God had given me an awesome soul-mate and companion; a woman strong enough to stand against the hardest of my character flaws. Health and happiness are also mine. Will it continue into tomorrow? I have no idea. Did I plan for this to happen? Absolutely not, in fact my plans looking nothing like this. Did I have faith to get here? Probably, but still believe it to be irrelevant. What I know that I have done is just seek God. I have tried to simply obey to the degree I could hear and understand His commandment. I am thankful the obedience is accompanied with some comfort, but that certainly has not always been the case. 

Do I think this is forever, that prosperity and health and happiness will never leave me? I have no idea, nor concern myself with whether it stays or goes. My heart is to be with God and to be with Him when He says bless, and to be with Him when He takes away.

Want to know that tomorrow will be ok? Then obey God today.

And having written this I read this from Richard Rohr through my friend Jim Spivey, “Don’t look forward or backward in your mind for explanations or consolations; don’t try to hide behind any secret special way that you have practiced and now can recommend to all! Few certitudes now, just naked faith.  This is nothing you have to come to or crawl down to by effort or insight.  You have been taken there, and your ‘there’ is precisely ‘nothing.’ This kind of God is almost a disappointment, at least to those who were in any way ‘using’ God before.  There is nothing to claim anymore – no securing or winning at something.  God is not a prized possession of any type, not for your own ego or morality or superiority or for control of the data.  This is the ‘nada’ of John of the Cross and the mystics, and this is Jesus on the cross.  Yet it is a peaceful nothingness and a luminous darkness, while still an ‘affliction.’  In the second half of the spiritual life, you are not making choices as much as you are being internally guided, taught, and led – which leads to ‘choice-less choices.’  These are the things you cannot not do because of what you have become, things you do not need to do because they are just not yours to do, and things you absolutely must do because they are your destiny and deepest desire.  Your driving motives are no longer money, success, or the approval of others.  You have found your sacred dance.  Now your only specialness is in being absolutely ordinary and even choice-less, beyond the strong opinions, needs, preferences, and demands of the first half of life and the people who populate that space.  You do not even need your ‘visions’ anymore, because you are happily participating in God’s vision for you.  With that, the wonderful dreaming and the dreamer that we were in our early years have morphed into Someone Else’s dream for us.  We move from the driver’s seat to being a happy passenger.  We are henceforth a ‘serene disciple,’ living in our own unique soul like never before, yet paradoxically living within the mind and heart of God, taking our place in the great and general dance.”

Dynamic V. Stagnant

Romans 7:25, “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin.”

I often speak of relationship to God and practicing His presence. The art of spiritual awareness that allows us to enjoy His ever present company. This relationship was very much the primary motivation of Christ coming to the earth and dying for our sins once and for all. It was the sin that kept us out of relationship. It was the sin that caused God to be unable to look upon us. But with salvation comes an ever covering atonement for sin in the form of Christ blood. We are no longer separated from God by sin.

Please hear me on this, post salvation in Jesus Christ sin is a non-factor. Only the blood of Christ is a factor. It is this absence of consequence that makes for a dynamic relationship with God.

From a practical perspective I have exploded in anger a few times in the past few weeks. I don’t like that I did, I am sorry that I did, I don’t want to do it again, but the fact that I did is in no way an inhibiting factor to my relationship to God. If anything it’s an opportunity to see His perfection once again and to learn from Him. In going to God with my weakness He is open and sharing. My option is to stagnate the relationship by taking the wisdom and dwell on it hoping I can somehow use it to change myself.But I can't change myself, and in relationship to Christ I cannot help but change spontaneously.

Scripture says, “Be angry, and yet do not sin…” I can take this as a rock in my path to God and work and work and work in my own ability to be without sin in anger, or I can enjoy the dynamic relationship and understand that this is the lesson for today. Tomorrow may be an entirely new lesson, or it may be a repeat, but in the dynamic, growing relationship with God and His Son there is nothing certain outside of the opportunity to be aware of His presence right her, right now, in this moment.

And as He always does, He confirms this in my heart with something Jim Spivey sent me quoting Richard Rohr in “Falling Upward.” Richard wrote, “The genius of the Gospel is that it includes the problem inside the Solution.  The falling becomes the standing.  The stumbling becomes the finding.  The dying becomes the rising.  The raft becomes the shore.  The small self of container-building cannot see this very easily, because it doubts itself too much, is still too fragile, and is caught up in the hopeless tragedy of it all.  It has not lived long enough to see the Big Patterns.  Many of us discover in times of relentlessly repeated falling the Great Divine Gaze, the ultimate I-Thou relationship, which is always compassionate and embracing, or it would not be divine.  Like any true mirror, the gaze of God receives us exactly as we are, without judgment or distortion, subtraction or addition.  Such perfect receiving is what transforms us.  Being totally received as we truly are is what we wait for and long for all our lives.  All we can do is receive and return the loving gaze of God every day, and afterwards we will be internally free and deeply joyful at the same time, thankful for the doorway.”

“Thankful for the doorway…” the dynamically new doorway available every day.

If you find yourself struggling with sin, with walking into the same doorway to heaven day after day try letting go. Go to God just as you are. Trust the sin is not the real you; it is not your spirit. And watch God’s embrace teach, guide, and mold you effortlessly into something you never thought possible. Metaphorically Christianity is a melody played by God, not a single note played incessantly, and not the occasional missed note. On the contrary Christianity is the collection of notes played throughout life and it is masterpiece conducted by God. 

Mad as hell and not going to take this anymore

James 4:1, “What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members?”

There is a saying that goes something like this. The man gets married expecting the wife not to change. The wife gets married expecting the man to change. What a perfect analogy for our relationship to God as well. We get saved expecting that our image of God in that moment is the correct, complete image. That we see Him clearly and nothing will be different. The truth is far from that because to gaze into infinity feels like change though it is not. Likewise we (I) feel like forgiveness is all encompassing and there is no need to change further. Oh how wrong that is.

And so I find myself at a place where the pace and volume of change is overwhelming. (All a plan by God anyway to exhaust my efforts so that it can be about Him.) As a result my feelings are left raw and sensitive. No more change my soul screams in its emotional exhaustion. It is in this raw, shaken state that I see the Holy Spirit once again confronting something that I had thought long since gone. Inside me there is something screaming, what about me? What about my feelings? Why do I have to be empathetic when no one is empathetic with me? Why do I have to apologize when no on apologizes to me? The Toby Keith song “I Wanna Talk About Me” plays in my head. Me… MY… I wanna talk about me! What about what I think? I want recognition for all I've done. Where is my praise? Where is my reward? My.. My... My... My... ME!!! Is there no place in this world that is about me? Work, home, family... it's all about someone else. 

On the outside it is just me screaming. At the slightest violation of my feelings I explode. I feel like a thermometer heated to the point of driving the mercury clear out the top. Like I said, I have been here before in a distant past, but why is it rearing its ugly head again in the past 30 days?

As I seek God in the midst of my sin. (Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, Eph 4:26) I hear clearly that it’s time to shake this from my soul, from my character.  I assume that psychologists might argue I am having difficulty in expressing my feelings. I might argue that my feelings are clear in the outburst, what is not clear is the apology or empathy for my feelings. Regardless, the truth is that God has appointed this time for me to learn to own those feelings. I hear Him saying that I need to accept them, but not react to them. I don’t know how that is going to go, but Jesus certainly did give us a perfect example on the cross of owning our feelings but not reacting.

He could have climbed down off that cross. He could have called down fire from heaven on His attackers. But instead He owned the pain. He owned the feelings, even in the confusion of them calling out to God and asking why He had forsaken Him. (Matt 27:46)

I am not forsaken. My feelings and emotional pain is nothing in comparison to the cross. But in the end I want to be more Christ like. I want to be angry without the sin. And so I trust God that He will show me the way, just has He has shown me the lesson.

Having written this I turned to my daily devotionals and this is what I read from Henri Nouwen. "Patience is a hard discipline. It is not just waiting until something happens over which we have no control: the arrival of the bus, the end of the rain, the return of a friend, the resolution of a conflict. Patience is not a waiting passivity until someone else does something. Patience asks us to live the moment to the fullest, to be completely present to the moment, to taste the here and now, to be where we are. When we are impatient we try to get away from where we are. We behave as if the real thing will happen tomorrow, later and somewhere else." 


Not finished God's shows me this in Oswald Chamber's writings, "‎The child of God who walks alone with Him is not dependent on places and moods but carries to the world the perpetual mystery of a dignity, unruffled, and unstung by insult, untouched by shame and martyrdom."


As if I could ever doubt that God is in complete control. 

Shaken

Hebrews 12: 26-27, “And His voice shook the earth then, but now He has promised, saying, ‘YET ONCE MORE I WILL SHAKE NOT ONLY THE EARTH, BUT ALSO HEAVEN.’ The expression, ‘Yet once more,’ denotes the removing of those things which can be shaken, as of created things, so that those things which cannot be shaken may remain.”

Once again God seems to just have everything around me speak a lesson daily. It is so easy to get distracted by life. It is even easy to get complacent in relationship to Christ, even in the daily practice of His presence. It sounds ridiculous, but there is a complacency that creeps in even when access to that intimate relationship to the Savior is available 24/7.

Here lately I have selfishly resisted correction. Even correction given in love and ordained, if not orchestrated, by God was resisted. So yesterday I had the pleasure of sharing my frustration with the men’s group Iwo Jima. As I declared my wows, those dozen men in the circle laughed at me in unison. How awesome an expression of God’s love. Here Christ laughed at me through the men at the ridiculousness of my concerns.  In the laughter was the realization that everything within us that is not God must be shaken, it must be tested, it must be revealed so that ultimately it is removed in the purifying of my character.

God cannot be shaken and these challenges in life that frustrate are there revealing and sifting those shakable traits that are not God.

I also find this scripture particularly applicable to those who are in Christ. Who more than the occupants of Heaven know Christ in His glory? Who more than the occupants of Heaven have access, and yet they are shaken as well. Saved or not, we are all in for a lifetime, and perhaps beyond, of shaking. God never gives up, and perfection is never achieved here on earth. That distinction will forever be Christ's

I can’t remember who Jim quoted in our meeting, or what the exact quote even was, but in essence this shaking that God does FOR us is in that tension between living real life and complete spiritual devotion. Too much concern for life and the shaking gets violent. Too off the deep end in spiritual devotion without regard for obedience and living for God and again the shaking gets violent. Get the tension right and the shaking, I hope, becomes more like a harmonic vibration that continuously, painlessly, removes the dross from my soul. Perhaps this tension and this shaking can even be like the vibration of a properly tuned string on the instrument of life. 

Unbreakable

Uncut Diamonds

Matthew 11:29, “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS.”

Rest for my soul… what a concept. Wouldn't rest for my soul be found easiest if there were no people or relationships in my life? After all, isn’t it people who created the unrest to begin with? Who wants to be gentle and humble like Christ in dealing with people? It took a lifetime to build the walls, to create the response, to suppress the feelings… why would anyone want His yoke if it means undoing the unrest?

It amazes me the patterns God has created in life. Take relationships for example. Every relationship follows five basic steps. The first step being romance, that short period of time with the relationship is too good to be true. Waking up from Romance comes the doubt phase. Intellect, hurts, walls, the wounded soul takes over and the relationship is marked by doubt. Pressing on the parties find themselves in an epic struggle for control. The power struggle phase is where the parties struggle for identity and fight against the influence and control of the other parties. If the relationship survives it is followed by agreeing to disagree. Both parties have dug in, and perhaps only for the sake of peace or the relationship differences are tolerated, contrary opinions are allowed to reluctantly exist. Finally there is the possibility for the honeymoon. The final stage is when all the parties realize they were made for each other and could not exists apart from one another.

This is very much an image of all human relationships, and an image of our relationship to Christ as it evolves. But what does it have to do with rest for our souls?

Rest for our souls is inhibited by the power struggle and the agree to disagree phase. Our wounds trigger as God confronts our ego boundaries and emotional walls. We struggle, we think with a person, but reality is we struggle with God. Our ego inflated soul stands in the way finding rest, but rather kicks against the goads, fights for position, reacts to what it thinks is salt on the wounds.

I have spent a lifetime building emotional walls, denying godly feelings, and planning reaction based on some childhood experiences. Sexual victimization, being bullied, and rejection caused me to condition myself to being unbreakable. Never again would I feel the pain. On the contrary I took the position that it is better to give than to receive when it comes to pain. And yet God has a much different plan. He brings the power struggle into my life. And I fail, and fail, and fail, until something wakes me up to the truth of the situation. God is at work. Can’t we agree to disagree? Can’t there be an easier way than to take on once again the humble and gentle yoke of Christ?

There cannot, because we are made for each other. We are made to have my wound be revealed by your wound so that Christ can bring rest to our souls. Picking up the yoke of surrender brings that rest to our soul, and life to our spirit. The yoke of surrender is where the unbreakable is broken, where the cross is born(e), and where the resurrection begins. The yoke is the diamond cutting the diamond, the end being glorious.

Unbreakable is an illusion. It is a lie of restless soul. We are all breakable. The question is will be break willingly, or by force.

Profit

James 4:13-15, "Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.' Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.'"

I use to always interpret this scripture from the perspective of asking, or hoping, God will bless our efforts. I read it as if it suggests we go about our business and "if the Lord wills" then we would see a profit. Reality is very different in the aftermath of my own experience. Reality is that we don't know how long we will be on the earth so make every minute count for God. James is saying don't think you are going into business for a year to make a profit with the implication that you will follow God when you are done. On the contrary act on the Lord's will today.

Over a year ago I sat down to lunch with a globally renown pastor who for whatever reason has adopted me as a spirital son. There we talked about the turmoil in my life. I lamented over God not blessing my efforts. I shared my confusion about knowing I am called to ministry, but working in a dying dead end career of doing mortgages. It was during this lunch that he said something I dismissed as not God.

He said, "Jeff, I hear God saying that He will call you out of mortgages when you are at the top, not the bottom."

For me, I was done with mortgages. For me God was saying quit... which I reluctantly, and forcibly did. It was shortly there after that this blog began, both a chronicle of my walk in surrender and daily devotional for others to share and be inspired by.

For months there was a struggle until one day God told be He was bringing me a job. I thought finally. Finally something in Ministry was coming my way.

Wrong again. The call came and it came from a mortgage company. Hanging up the phone I heard God speak, "Take that job." I could just scream. It was just seven months ago that I complete let go of a mortgage career.

To make a long story short. In month one of working there I was the number one producer in the branch. Month two was just as good, but I was passed by a co-worker. In month 3 I am looking at the loans I have to close, and this is the part that blows me away. If most of my loans close this month I will be the number loan officer in the company. I have a legitimate shot at closing more than the hundreds of other loan officer employed along side of me. Isn't that just like God? Here I had forgotten what my pastor friend and mentor had said. But now, I cannot forget it.

In the end it is not about making a profit. It is about doing the Lord's will. After all, "For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul?" (Mark 8:36)

Thank you Jesus for your instruction, thank you for revealing your will, and thank you for the profit.

New

Luke 22:20, "And in the same way He took the cup after they had eaten, saying, 'This cup which is poured out for you is THE NEW COVENANT in My blood.'"

Here we are some 2000+ years beyond Christ proclamation of a new covenant, and yet so many believers have yet to fully grasp the implications. Turning the calendar over to 2012 I want to invite everyone to make the New Year about meditating on the New Covenant.

One of the many beautiful truths that Christ came to share with us in this New Covenant was that the old is past, done away with. Even heaven and earth as we know it will pass away just as the old covenant did.  "Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth passed away, and there is no longer a sea." (Rev 21:1)

I think this is a major point that most Christian denominations overlook. Somehow good behavior becomes doctrine. Forgiveness of sin is accomplished the Old Way with ritual, rite, and performance becuase there is an expectation that God will restore us and creation. There is ingrained in us for some reason the thought process that says we are, or can somehow be good. Christians globally ignore Hebrews 8:13 where it says, "When He said, 'A new covenant,' He has made the first obsolete. But whatever is becoming obsolete and growing old is ready to disappear."

The old covenant was the law. Why do we constantly turn back to the old  in our judgments and evaluations of behavior? Why do some turn to the rituals and rites in that old law for forgiveness when those same rituals and rites were prophesying the entrance of our Christ. Oh sure you can be under the old if you would like. Galatians 5:3 tells us though that if we want to keep one part of the law, then we are under obligation to keep it all. As for me, I rely on His mercy and lovingkindness.

It is our spirit that is born again (made new), and it will not be until our flesh is gone that that same spirit will have the opportunity to fully be for Christ. Until then, new life in the spirit comes from daily surrender, daily taking up the cross and laying down everything that is not new. Until that day comes of the old completely passing away; I rely on the fact that "The Lord's lovingkindness indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness." (Lam 3:22-23)