Debt

Colossians 2:14, “having canceled out the certificate of debt consisting of decrees against us, which was hostile to us; and He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross.”

For those of you who read yesterday’s post called Staring into Eyes, I will clue you into one of the metaphors. For me, the path of the green valley is debt. Nothing in my life has brought more misery, stress, worry, discomfort, pain than debt. Particularly debts that look like at the start can be paid, but in time become a choking jungle. Oh it looks good going in, but any change in income and those debts spring closed like a bear trap.

The Deed of Trust on my property, the reports of lates and/or collections have become hostile to me. And let me be VERY clear. They were my choice. The Bible says, “The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is a slave of the lender.” And I have become a slave.

I have comforted myself spiritually with the thought that I have forgiven hundreds of thousands owed to me, why shouldn’t I be entitled to the same forgiveness? I have asked that if Jesus can cancel the certificate of debt relating to sin, then can’t he cancel the certificate of debt related to my mortgage or past credit indiscretion. For years this has been my prayer. Either bless my work again, or allow this debt to pass. I have tried the “prosperity” message. I have cried to have all that I have lost restored. I have even played the lottery. All the while Christ was saying, “You pay it.” I reply back in frustration, “I can’t.”

There was some comfort in ignoring the problem. There were some perceived blessing in seeing the problems be delayed. But the problem can no longer be ignored. The debts, though much less today than even a year ago, are choking the life out of me. There is no more path to struggle down. There is only the devil’s grotto. There is only the Red Sea to my front, and Egypt’s army to my rear. And so once again I cry out.

And it is EXACTLY this spot that Christ has been waiting for me to get to. The place where there is no path left, no weapon to pick up and fight with. It has finally come to just me v. the debt… or is it. Me conquering the challenge is a joke in the face of an overwhelming opponent. In his court, playing by his rules. And yet I feel the warm moist breath on my neck.

That is where I am today. Not through the situation, not fully aware that Christ is in control, but the fear is gone, He is coming to my rescue. And He is not coming to cancel a certificate of debt. As I cry I can’t pay it, He whispers, now for the first time, I am going to pay it.  ALL OF IT.

Why you might ask?

Because I love Him, and He knows it. Absolutely no other reason. For God causes all things to work together for those who love Him. (Rom 8:28) I can’t say that I know Him. I can’t say that I am perfect, that I pray enough, that I know the Bible well enough. I can't say I give enough. I can’t say that I deserve it, because I don’t. But I can say that I love Him.