Growing - Knowledge

2 Peter 1:5-8, “…in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge… for if these qualities are… increasing, then they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

In continuation of this mini-series of posts on spiritual growth it can be seen that the next spiritual quality to be address is knowledge. Quite a logical step if you think about it. At this point the foundation of faith has led the Christian to moral excellence through the acceptance and submission to Jesus Christ as the Son of God. Moral excellence being not just the place of right standing with God in salvation but also a course of morally virtuous thought. To be simple, moral excellence within a re-born spirit illuminates the virtuous course, but sin in the body constantly pulls us from it time and time again. And so what can be done to escape this constant conviction as we learn to work out our salvation? Perhaps we can learn how to right? And thus this need to learn how to actually produce what the Spirit of God desires in us produces a need and God given desire for knowledge.

At this point it is important to pay attention to what the knowledge is needed for. One might thing the knowledge is needed to make moral excellence better. But reality is moral excellence enhances knowledge not vice versa. Knowledge is needed according to Peter so that we gain “the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Wait a minute… did I read that correctly? Knowledge leads to knowledge… how can that be?

Once again a trip into the Greek explains this apparent paradox. The knowledge that moral excellence supplies and supports comes from the Greek word gnosis. Gnosis is objective knowledge. It is what we learn from afar. Whereas the knowledge of Christ comes from the Greek word epignosis or subjective knowledge.

For a real word example of the difference between gnosis and epignosis, I know the President, but I know my daughters. I gnosis the President because all I know about him is what I have read and seen on TV but we have never met. Whereas I epignosis my daughters (and sons) intimately because we have a daily relationship with one another.

And so we progress in these spiritual qualities. When we arrive at increasing knowledge for the first time it will invariably meet with crisis. What we know and what we think we know has to be tested and found false. The crisis proves our limited knowledge incomplete, and we have to go back  to the foundation of faith in Christ. Once again from the bottom we make the proverbial climb from faith to moral excellence to knowledge.

Without reading the scripture again can you guess what comes next? If not check back as I continue this discussion on growing in Christ.

Growing – Moral Excellence

2 Peter 1:5, “…in your faith supply moral excellence…”

In our spiritual growth we see that the second thing to develop behind our foundation of faith and trust in Christ is moral excellence. Moral excellence means a lot of things to a lot of people. To some it is what they eat or drink and what they wear. To others it means forsaking modern comforts. To most I think moral excellence is represented by pious behavior, even if that behavior is really just a show when around other “morally excellent” people.

If we go back in time and look at the original Greek term “arête” we see that moral excellence is synonymous with virtue and a virtuous course of thought. But perhaps equally important is the word is a noun and not a verb. So moral excellence is a state of being, and if a state of being what other term can we find that defines a virtuous state of being? Perhaps salvation is a good Christian term.

So faith supplies salvation. And yet as merely one of the building blocks of our Christian growth this concept of salvation somehow increases or grows as we continue in this ever growing being of virtuous thought. Perhaps this is why Paul wrote to the Philippians, “… work out your salvation with fear and trembling.” Again the root word being a noun, and so we see that our salvation, a possession, result, and state of faith must be exercised. Our spirit which contains all true virtuous thought must be worked out just like we work muscles in a gym.

And this is beginning of Christianity. By the power of the Holy Spirit we are shown Christ as the Son of God. When we accept His lordship by faith we are saved as our spirit is reborn and His Holy Spirit becomes alive and active in us. And what happens next?

The typical Christian begins to “try to act” more pious. Habits and practices or moral excellence are attempted. But more often than not these attempts meet failure because the flesh is trying to accomplish what the Spirit wills. And so the failure brings the crisis, and we return to the faith. Time and time again brand new Christians will give their life over and over again to the Lord thinking their failure in moral excellence demands it. But as that moral excellence grows, and it does very quickly the next aspect of the Christian that must grow comes into view, namely knowledge.

Now lest you become arrogant and think that you are beyond a return to the foundation of faith, I will say that for most (if not all) crisis return us to the foundation of faith and a need to increase our moral excellence and every other aspect of our Christianity. So even if you have godliness a crisis will come that brings you back to faith and then moral excellence and then knowledge etc. This is normal and healthy spiritual growth, and something to embrace. It is part of surrender, and it is pleasing to God.

Growing – Faith

2 Peter 1:5-8, “Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love. For if these qualities are your and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus.”

My third book to be published, Lord willing, is called Growing in Christ and is based on this passage. I have been working on the book for probably 10 years now. One might wonder what takes so long to write a book, but the truth is that I have had to live this truth in order to better understand it and to articulate that understanding. So reality is the delay is divine in that if I had to assess my own spiritual maturity I would probably place myself in the beginning stages of godliness. That is 30 years after first giving my life to Christ, a few years of ministry school, countless readings of the bible cover to cover, and sitting through well over 3000 messages. So with that as a background let me proceed.

Faith is the foundation of our spiritual nature. It is the base on which everything else depends. This is why faith “supplies” moral excellence, etc. Without faith, faith in Christ, then we have nothing to build from in our relationship to God. And it is faith that life returns us to time and time again.

But before we look at life’s interaction with faith, what is faith? Scripture says “faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” (Heb 11:1) So faith as an assurance is not some kind of willing things, events, and actions into existence. Faith is not wanting something hard enough that it appears. Faith is not imposing our will upon the will of God so that He will act on our behalf. But rather faith, as a “conviction of things not seen” is a reliance on God. Faith is simply trusting God. 

We see in certain Christian circles “faith healers.” As such I personally do not believe they have “more” faith or trust in God than any other Christian. Corinthians clearly defines healing as a gift, though faith is sometimes involved. Faith is that simple trust in God. Remember the story of the disciples waking Jesus on the boat in the midst of a storm. What was Jesus’ response? “Where is your faith?” (Luke 8:25) Why did Jesus question their faith? Didn’t they trust Him enough to wake Him? Was He questioning their faith because they didn’t calm the storm? No… He questioned their faith because they saw Him sleeping and they didn’t trust God that all was well. They panicked in the storm and as such showed where their foundation of faith was week.

This is what life is. It is a storm crashing against our foundation of faith. Life on earth, because of the curse (Gen 3:17), because of its contamination by Satan and sin life brings crisis after crisis to test the foundation of our faith. Crisis’s of health, wealth, or relationships come upon everyone to see if the foundation is laid in Christ and only Christ.

So many religious people rely on the doctrines of their faith. And yet the prosperity message still finds the poor or broke seeking and searching it. The faith healing doctrine finds the cancer stricken and disease ridding dying in it. The “love” churches attract people filled with enmity.

How can this be?

It can be because the foundation is not Christ. The faith is in a hope that the person imposes their will upon God. The hope is riches and so the follower of riches tries to convince God of the message of prosperity. The hope is in health at any costs of lifestyle and so this person subscribes to healing over Christ. The hope is in being loved by others and so this person subscribes to a religion whose doctrine preaches roles, values, and positions over Christ.

The crisis comes to show us all that our foundation of faith is based on something other than the Perfection of Faith Jesus Christ.

This is faith: To trust God in everything, to have Christ as the very center of your life and existence. Faith is to sleep when Christ sleeps, to walk when Christ walks, to speak what Christ speaks… all of which is only found in relationship. A relationship with a pinnacle of love, but which in the coming days we will see has many definable points.

I will close with something I read from Oswald Chambers as God confirmed this is what He wanted to write. He says, “The Lord does not put us in glass houses to grow us, to be His trees; the Lord does not protect us from the storms, the adversities; He exposes us to the bitter winds and the scorching suns of adversity and trial. The Lord is working in us that which is according to His own Nature – eternity, the enduring, the everlasting God – that which will not be easily or hardly carried away. He is putting substance in you.” That substance is Christ.

Spirit, Soul, & Body

1 Corinthians 15:45, “So also it is written, ‘The first MAN, Adam, became a living soul.’ The last Adam became a life-giving spirit.”

I wanted to write today on Spirit, Soul, and Body because I find it a good introduction into what I think is going to be a be series of posts on Growing in Christ. In my post God is Light I said in passing that the spirit is energy, the soul is consciousness, and the body is mass. And this as it relates to Einstein’s Theory of Relativity is true, but it is also true according to scripture.

If we first look at the spirit of man we see from the above scripture that Christ, the last Adam, is the one who brings life (energy) to that spirit. According to John 3: 6-7; salvation, or the process of being “born again”, is a rebirth of the spirit. Perhaps comparing this born again spirit is more like a home being connected to electricity for the first time. Paul in Colossians 1:13 says that we are transferred from a kingdom of darkness to a kingdom of His beloved Son. So the spirit, for those who have given their life to Christ is alive with the energy of God.

The body on the other hand has its own source of energy derived from being alive on the earth. The organs, blood, bones, muscles, skin, etc all work autonomously with or without God’s spirit. Instincts and genetic programming allow survival and function in the world. Hearts beat, brains think, emotions run all independent of both spirit and soul.

But the soul… now that is what God breathed into man when He created the first Adam. In the soul is consciousness. It is the soul that has the conscious connection between body and spirit. The soul is not intellectual capacity. That is the brain. But rather the soul houses are character and free will. It is the place where who we really are is found. It is what is and will be judged by Christ.

And so, in the context of this definition and relationship of spirit, soul, and body we find ourselves a living soul constantly making choices based on two competing forces. (Rom 8:5) The body is lazy, selfish, prideful, greedy, and under the curse and contamination of original sin. The spirit for those saved is connected to God. It is His life force, His energy, His communication, and even His kingdom that is growing inside us. And so here is life. In its simplest of godly purpose life is a conscious soul that daily, hourly, even moment by moment has a choice of choosing the desires of a body, or choosing the desires of the Spirit. Oh some times, perhaps even many times those desires are the same, but just as often the Spirit is in conflict with the body.

So to grow in Christ or for a more palatable term, spiritual growth is nothing more than choosing Spirit over body. And this path we will find in the coming post has a pattern. We will also find out that that pattern has very little to do with not sinning, and a whole lot to do with discovering Christ in a new and living way.

Here’s to growing in Him together.

As a side note. I have seen it argued that emotions are in the soul. If that is the case does it mean a woman with PMS really has a crazy soul? Does it mean someone with hypothyroid, a cause of depression, has a depressed soul?

For those who think intellect is in the soul. Does it mean the mentally handicapped have less of a soul? Does it mean diminished mental capacity means less capacity to be conscious of God?

Never Flinch

Deuteronomy 31:8, “It is the Lord Who goes before you; He will [march] with you; He will not fail you or let you go or forsake you; [let there be no cowardice or flinching, but] fear not, neither become broken [in spirit – depressed, dismayed, and unnerved with alarm]. (Amplified Bible)

Do you ever find yourself coming back to the same lessons? Do you return to the same or similar situation that produces in you a panic, or perhaps anger? Does life feel like you are spinning your wheels, and does that sensation produce frustration, impatience, or a need to regain control? When you see a crisis coming for the first or even the tenth time; does it make you flinch?

I am going to say that it is the flinch that brings the crisis around for a second time. At least that is where I am in my relationship with God. It is in the flinch that our lack of trust in God is revealed. The flinch shows that our faith is not in God going before us. It shows that our relationship had, if only momentarily, a gap.

Look at what Isaiah prophesied about Jesus in Chapter 53:11-12. This is from The Message, “Out of that terrible travail of soul, He’ll see that it’s worth it and be glad He (Jesus) did it. Through what He experienced, My Righteous One, My Servant, will make many ‘righteous ones,’ as He Himself carries the burden of their sins. Therefore I will reward Him extravagantly – the best of everything, the highest honors – Because He looked death in the face and didn’t flinch, because He embraced the company of the lowest. He took on His own shoulders the sin of many, He took up the cause of all the black sheep.”

Christ trusted so completely in the Father that He never flinched, not even in the face of death. And after not flinching there came the reward. The end of the lesson.

And yet I know that I flinch at so many crises much less than death. I flinch at a smaller paycheck. I flinch over letters arriving in the mailbox. I flinch over traffic. I flinch over phone calls. I flinch over Doctor visits. I flinch and flinch and flinch. But in Jesus name He is occupying more and more of my soul. And in time the flinching is decreasing.

Oswald Chambers wrote this about worry… another form of flinching. “’…do not worry about your life…’(Matt 6:25) Don’t take the pressure of your provision upon yourself. It is not only wrong to worry, it is unbelief; worrying means we do not believe that God can look after the practical details of our lives, and it is never anything but those details that worry us. Have you ever noticed what Jesus said would choke the Word He puts in us? Is it the devil? No – ‘the cares of this world’ (Matt 13:22)”

To never flinch is not something I can will upon myself. To never flinch does not come by playing ostrich and burying my head in the sand. To never flinch is something that can only be born out of an increasing awareness and relationship to Christ inside me. Father help me to never flinch. 

Love Doesn’t Need to Be Fixed

1 Corinthians 13: 1 – 8, “If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing. Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…”

Whether God has used Jim Spivey to spur my conversations with Him, or whether He has used Jim to confirm my conversation with Him I do not know. But what I do know is that love does not need to be fixed.

In his May 20, 2012 Blog Jim quotes Bob Goff from Love Does. Bob wrote, “I used to want to fix people, but now I just want to be with them.”

With this as fodder Jim writes, “There is a clear distinction showing up these days between Jim (my self-grown personality) showing off / spewing his knowledge and wisdom for the benefit and enlargement mostly of Jim, and Jesus expressing himself clearly and simply through me for the benefit of others and the enlargement of Jesus and His kingdom… When Jim is doing his thing, the tone is serious and weighty, and I’m attached to the outcome in some unconscious way. When Jesus is doing God’s thing, he is lighthearted and detached, trusting Him completely with both the process and the outcome…”

For those that don’t know Jim Spivey, he is a life, business, love, death, coach. He spends all day, nearly every day listening to people and their problems all the while trying to be a reflection of Christ. When he tries to fix is when he falls out of love.

Do you see this in context with the scripture above? Ministry on terms of tongues, prophecy (advice / speaking for God), and miracles are not love. Quoting scripture is not in and of itself love and without the seasoning of love is worthless. Even giving and martyrdom are not love.

Love is patient. Love is kind. (Note that love is not defined as kindness.) Love rejoices in truth. Love bears, believes, hopes, and endures all things. Everything else in the scripture is what love is not.

Is love an emotion? No

Is love an outcome? No

Is love advice? No

Is love giving? No

Is love Christ? Yes

In fact Love is more noun than verb. “God is love.” (1 John 4:8) And to walk in love is to have God, His Spirit, His Son, His kingdom at work inside you.

Jim said that he knows when it is about Jim and not God – when he is “attached to the outcome in some unconscious (or conscious) way.” Love is not an outcome. And love does not seek an outcome as it does not seek its own. And frankly outside of salvation there is not a one of us who can accurately say what God’s outcome is for anyone person today save for ourselves… maybe.

Love does not need to be fixed. We do not need to be fixed. We simply have to work to be aware of the spirit of God inside us. Then in that awareness of Him, to the exclusion of everything that is not Him we walk in love.

I would be a fool to say I was there, or I do it perfectly. But I would be a liar to say that I have not tasted and seen it to be true.

Off the Beaten Path

Matthew 6:33, “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”

The challenges of life seem ever present, and as such it so often seems normal or right that addressing the challenges is the most appropriate action. We must change this or change that. We must react to discomfort and create comfort. We must war and impose our will so that we perceive ourselves as better or better off. That is the path of mankind for all of time and yet Christ has called us off the beaten path.

For me personally the past six months have been a good run. My most major and pressing financial issue is not solved, but God assurance and presence in it is more than adequate. And when it is not, He has given me a supportive spouse fully committed to the transition and lesson of it all. But the upcoming month is not so bright a future. I am paid once per month for work completed the prior month and therefore know that June is going to be ugly come pay day. 

In a moment of weakness I shared this impending challenge with someone and their retort was Our Father just needs to sell a few cows. This in reference to Psalms 50:10 and God having “the cattle on a thousand hills.” And yet I thought quietly that this person just doesn’t get it. They don’t get that God has me EXACTLY where He wants me. This place is not a place of need, it is a place of learning total dependence upon Him. I am not lacking in anything except finding the place where my priority is truly seeking first the kingdom of God.

All around me this lesson.. this message... is reinforced. Jim Spivey 3 times affirmed where God has me with his blog at http://rcdailyjournal.blogspot.com/

This morning Oswald Chambers hit the nail on the head… again. Of this passage Oswald says, “When we look at these words of Jesus, we immediately find them to be the most revolutionary that human ears have ever heard. ‘. . . seek first the kingdom of God . . . .’ Even the most spiritually-minded of us argue the exact opposite, saying, ‘But I must live; I must make a certain amount of money; I must be clothed; I must be fed.’ The great concern of our lives is not the kingdom of God but how we are going to take care of ourselves to live. Jesus reversed the order by telling us to get the right relationship with God first, maintaining it as the primary concern of our lives, and never to place our concern on taking care of the other things of life.”

In the end it is not about the destination. One day, God willing, I will reach a place of being 100% debt free, but that is not what is important to the Father. What is important is the path. What will be asked of me that day is did I get there on the path of seeking His kingdom first, or did I get there on the more traveled path of human effort. And in it all somehow He is in control, somehow even though I “try” to seek His kingdom first He is the One keeping me on the path, the One showing me the path, the One Who in fact is the Path. 

God is Light

1 John 1:5, “This is the message we have heard from Him and announced to you, that God is light…”

Lately I have been fascinated with the Einstein’s theory of relativity. This is mainly because of some dreams I have had where I was asking God some questions about creation and the universe. In those dreams He showed me some things in response to the questions that I really don’t understand. It is those answers that have lead me to E=MC².

Science has known for years the massive implications this formula has. Energy = Mass X Constant Squared. The Constant being the speed of light. Einstein realized that no matter how you measured the speed of light it was constant. So if you are at rest the speed of light is the measured to be the same as if you were moving a million miles an hour towards it.

Think about it. If a pitcher throws a ball from the mound it may register at 90 mph. But put him on a train moving 50 mph and have him throw the same pitch. Someone from the ground in front of the train would register it at 140 mph, whereas someone on the same train would measure it to be 90 mph. But with light this is different. It is the same regardless of position or movement. The only explanation for this is that the faster you go the slower time moves. So perhaps the constant is not only the speed of light, but the speed of time as well.

Going a little further science cannot fathom going faster than the speed of light. And yet this same formula says that we would not exists in the form of matter if we were not already exceeding the speed of light. Sitting at this desk I am moving at 18 miles/sec as the earth turns. And the universe is expanding at a rate greater than the speed of light. So according to this little formula of E=MC² the earth, the stars, us… everything that has mass is energy that has and is exceeding the speed of light.

Perhaps this is why light has for its components photons. Photons exhibiting qualities of both particle and energy. Go faster and the energy is particle. Go slower and the particle is energy.

For God, being light there is no time. For God being light, nothing goes faster unless He says so. This is how He holds the universe together. This is how He created us Spirit/Soul/Body. Spirit being energy. Soul being consciousness. Body being mass.

“In Him we live and move and exist…” (Acts 17:28) God is light and in being such is time. And in being such is the creator. 

Proof is in the Pudding

Romans 5:3-5, “And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, know that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit…”

Funny how just a little time in prayer opens the heart, soul, and mind. Just this morning I was talking to the Father. On one hand thanking Him for how far He has brought me, and on the other hand wondering aloud why it is taking to long to get further. It was with the thought of taking long that the Holy Spirit spoke one word. “Proving”

Wouldn’t it be great if this thing called Christianity was simply an intellectual exercise? No need to live out a principle, just understand it. Wouldn’t it be awesome to know we can live with little naturally by the power of God - but never have to actually do it? Kind of the exact opposite of the prosperity message if you think about it.

I am rich but don’t have to live poor because I know I can… As opposed to I am poor but don’t have to live rich because I know I can.

I can tell you from experience that rich is a lot easier to live than poor. But of course I am not poor either, merely broke. Broke being the temporary absence of cash. Praise God that I am less broke today than yesterday.

I diverted… the point is God requires proof. Proof and proven character. Sometime that character is proven in trouble, some time that character is proven in blessings but either way it will be proven. It is this proof that creates hope. Waiting, and waiting, and waiting on the Lord… seeing the waves of destruction but them never actually destroying you is the place where we learn hope. Day after day in this near death experience that allows the character of Christ to come through. And when the storm is calmed the hope is made more perfect for the next tribulation.

And so the trials come, the character is proven like yeast in warm water. Hope is established and the love of God, the presence of the Savior is poured out in us.

And so after that love comes we are then able to “exult in our (next) tribulation” knowing that it is producing in us the love of God. Or as Paul would say, “producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison.” (2 Cor 4:17)

This is not a pipe dream. This weight of glory is not something for the future or poured out in heaven. This weight of glory is for today. It is inside of us.

And so we get to the proof is in the pudding. Which is an idiom shortened from the original phrase, the proof of the pudding is in the eating. And so too is the proof of Christianity… in the eating… or drinking. (Matt 20:23) The proof of Christianity is the tribulation.

As I picked a photo for this post I realized that eating pudding, particularly the younger and inexperienced you are can be a bit messy. But no matter how messy, how uncomfortable, in the end the experience is delicious. 

Enjoy Adversity

2 Corinthians 4:8-10, “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.”

I read the above passage as part of Oswald Chamber’s Utmost for His Highest. Of it he says, “We have to develop godly habits to express what God’s grace has done in us. It is not just a question of being saved from hell, but of being saved so that 'the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.' And it is adversity that makes us exhibit His life in our mortal flesh. Is my life exhibiting the essence of the sweetness of the Son of God, or just the basic irritation of 'myself' that I would have apart from Him? The only thing that will enable me to enjoy adversity is the acute sense of eagerness of allowing the life of the Son of God to evidence itself in me.”

For so long I thought when Paul said “we” he meant himself and those who might have traveled with him. I thought the affliction he spoke of was for those called to be martyrs, or perhaps missionaries. Surely I could not be part of the “we” in light of messages of health, happiness, prosperity, success, and the like. But if you are a Christian this explains tons about why a new and sudden devotion to God seems accompanied with a spontaneous and violent reaction from hell.

Did you think you could escape it? Was your turn to Christ for relief?

One thing is for certain, obedience to God can never consider the consequences. Christ with much prayer and stress embraced the consequences of the cross. And we too have to go through life and embrace the consequences of our obedience. Oswald says to our Lord, “I am delighted to obey You in this.” Can we possibly get to this point ourselves?

We have to be delighted to have Christ “manifested in our flesh.” There is no delight in affliction on its own. There is no peace in a trial or test without some assistance. And yet with Christ, with the awareness of Him in you and you in Him there is the peace that surpasses understanding. There is almost a delight that He has brought you to this place of surrender. Again Oswald says, “Discovering a new way of manifesting the Son of God should make your heart beat with renewed excitement.”

This is not to say that we run headlong into adversity for adversity sake. We should not risk life and limb to test God. We should not borrow money period, and certainly not money we have no ability to repay. We should not tangle with outlaws. “It is one thing to choose adversity, and quite another to ENTER into adversity through orchestrating of our circumstances by God’s sovereignty.”

Is life falling apart? Do you find yourself unable to get ahead? Does something knock you down just as soon as you get up? In those moments, days, even weeks dig deep into your spirit and connect to Christ. That is what He is trying to do. He is trying to allow you to be a reflection of Him again, and again, and again in ever changing circumstances and afflictions. Time and time again we have a choice… to connect with Christ, or connect with self. Time and time again we have the choice to manifest the “sweetness of the Son of God,” or wallow in irritation of self. 

Paul's Parable

1 Kings 19:11-12, “So He said (to Elijah), ‘Go forth and stand on the mountain before the Lord.’ And behold, the Lord was passing by! And a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing.”

Paul, a regular attendee at Iwo Jima, told the group a parable in our last meeting. Well not a parable exactly as it was his experience, but so much like a parable Christ would share with His followers or God with Elijah in the passage above.

He said that one afternoon he took his Bible and went to the Houston Baptist University campus. I guess looking for a time of prayer of reflection he sat on one of the many benches found around campus. This one had a wonderful view of a pond. The pond was surrounded by tall grasses, blooming blue bonnets and other wild flowers. The grasses long and ornamental in his opinion swayed gently in the afternoon breeze. As he marveled at the beauty that only God can create along came a couple of maintenance workers equipped with industrial gas powered weed eaters. I can imagine how Paul’s peaceful moment was disrupted with the whine of small gas engines. How his views were obstructed by the distinct blue smoke that puffs from yard equipments. Each worker going in opposite directions they start their task on the opposite side of the pond working their way each to him from opposite directions.

Paul thought surely they won’t cut such beautiful grass. As quickly as the thought came one worker expeditiously dispatched the grass that to Paul was perfect. The other, a little clumsy hacked at his side of the pond.

And so Paul thought again, surely they will leave the blue bonnets and flowers. But again his thoughts were in vain as the workers indiscriminately chewed all that was beautiful to shreds. The only thing left that no worker could destroy was that gentle afternoon breeze. A breeze that seems to pick up slightly as the men whacked and hacked their way around the pond.

As the more adept of the two workers made his way to come directly in front of Paul he slipped on a slope covered in leaves almost finding himself in the pond. Looking up a Paul their eyes connected and they shared a laugh.

It was then Paul realized. The workers are not there because they want to. They are killing flowers because an institution demanded it. With this realization God spoke. Paul understood that God was there. He was not in the flower killers. He was not in the creation. He was not in the institution though it was built for Him. God on that day was in the gentle afternoon breeze.

No matter what is going on, God is there. We only have to become aware. 

First Love

1 John 4:19, “We love, because He first loved us.”

For the first time in a month of more I was able to attend my men’s group that has been aptly named Iwo Jima. And what a wonderful time it was, full of fodder for this blog. And by men’s group I don’t mean that it is exclusive of women, as from time to time we do have one in attendance.

Yesterday our token female was Michelle. She was there with her husband for only the beginning of the meeting, but just prior to her leaving she shared an experience she had years ago. She told this story of how a Pastor at a church she attended invited another minister in to give the staff and volunteers a “special word from God.” This special service took place on a Saturday at 9:00am and began with the preacher asking, “What does God appreciate most?”

Michelle thought that the whole exercise might be a waste of time as the man of God went through all the items like faith, obedience, sacrifice, and worship as NOT was God appreciated most. Oh for sure they are important to our spiritual work, but this man either by divine inspiration or man’s logic surmised that God most appreciates it when we recognize He loves us.

How powerful is that?

So many fail in this understanding. Some think God is there just waiting to drop the axe if we step even slightly out of line. Some believe He is disconnected from us completely. Still others grasp some objective love of God as a license to exalt themselves or as appointment as judge. But there is a pure childlike experience with the love of God. There is an experience of His love that is constant, motivating, humbling, and real. It is when we realize, or become aware, of God loving us then faith is made real. Faith that God will come through. Faith even in that love. When we know God loves us obedience is gladly accomplished. When we truly understand and know God’s love then worship is in spirit and truth… it comes from pure adoration and not from habit or fear based motivation.

Paramount in importance is that as John so poignantly notes, without a subjective understanding of God’s love (which come first) then we can’t love Him. “Because He loved us first…”

This is not some overly broad statement like God loving the world. God loved me first. God loves you first. Even if you have never in your life experienced the love of God, He loves you.

May His Holy Spirit make you aware of His love today.

My Rescuer

Psalms 50:15, “Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I shall rescue you, and you will honor Me.”

In the process of proof reading my post “The Disease of Divorce” I was hit emotionally from two very different directions. The first was complete compassion for my friend in his struggles. I don’t remember the pain, but I do remember it hurt very badly, and I so feel for the insanity of the emotional struggle he’s in.

But what really hit me was a memory of God rescuing me from one of the darkest moments in my life. I was in college in Austin, Texas. Eighteen years old and on an afternoon of drinking I found myself in a significant amount of trouble. After being questioned by detectives and making a call to my folks I was placed in a two person cell.

The whole experience was upsetting enough, but in the cell was some homeless drunk (I presumed) lying on the bottom bunk. He smelled of urine and feces. What was worse is he had a bugger collection started on the post of the bunks. Yes… a bugger collection. It seemed like hundreds as it creped a foot or more up the post. I remember not being able to see anything except for the cell across the way. The noise was deafening as fellow captives screamed at one another from cell to cell. The bars were small, perhaps a 12 inch by 6 inch opening and offset into the cell. This was the major obstacle in seeing anywhere but straight ahead. Occasionally a guard would walk by, and occasionally he would answer my question of what time is it. What was I going to do? My charges required a bond hearing. The people I had upset were of significant political influence. This was deep deep trouble, and I was more than depressed. I wanted an out.

Sometime around 10 or 11 pm my roommate was moved or released. As depression griped me and as I thought of the trouble I was going to be in with my parents as well I began to plot my exit. My shoe laces and belt had been taken from me, but I was able to tear the bottom of my shirt into strips. Weaving them together with my Boy Scott skills I had completed a noose. It was not strong enough to support my weight fully, but it was just long enough to tie it to the bars and if sat it would do the job.

And that is just what I did. I tied the noose to the bars, slipped it around my neck and sat down. As I did that a voice came from the ceiling. (literally) It said, “Jeff, I do not want you to do that.” I knew who it was. And I replied, “Then what am I to do Lord.”

He said, “Worship Me.”

Standing up I cried and said, “I don’t know how to worship you.”

Unbeknownst to me, about this time my parents were driving to Austin.  In the middle of the night they passed a billboard that said, “Just keep praying.”

And so here I was, having started the process of permanently checking out, and Jesus telling me to worship Him. As I cried that I didn’t know how to worship the Lord said, “You know Jesus Loves me don’t you.”

"Yes," I said.

He said, “sing that.”

I climbed onto the top bunk, laid on my back and sang Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tell me so…”

Obviously I am still here as this was nearly 30 years ago. On the way home I told my parents the story and we looked for the billboard, but never saw it again.

If you are wondering what happened eventually with the charges… they were dismissed.

Christ truly is my rescue. I share this in true shameless surrender so that those of you in dire trouble can know that He is your rescue as well.

The Disease Called Divorce

Matthew 19:10, “The disciples said to Him, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.”

Two types of hurting people find their ways into my life constantly. One is the minister burned by the institution called church. The other is the husband waking up to find himself left by his wife. Even deeper than the broken relationship, the wife filing for divorce, the most unfortunate of common circumstances is that each of the men was victim of a wife finding comfort in the arms of another man.

Most recently a friend of mine had a wife after decades of marriage come home and say, “I’m not in love with you anymore.” Or perhaps it was, “this isn’t working.” Or maybe it was, “I need something more in my life.” I can’t remember because I have heard so many versions of the same story.

For this friend, he is still hurting more than a year after the destruction of his family. The divorce is final. And yet in many ways he still wants “his family back” in spite of her cohabitation with her lover. The pain of another man spending more time with his children than him is agonizing. His ego is not bruised; it has had a nuclear bomb set off within. His business has cratered as depression keeps him from his normal sales calls. And even when he is able to mustard up the energy to go into work, it is quickly extinguished with the thoughts of what could have been, what should have been, and the fear of what will be. The disease of divorce has fully infected him. The symptoms of this disease are depression, sleeplessness, tears, and feelings of unworthiness, feelings of failure, weight loss, and so many more. He feels very deeply that he has not only failed himself, but failed his children miserably. Like Saul asking for David to play for him, he searches for something to quite the demons released in his mind and soul.

And so we talk. What do I say? Sure I have been in the very exact spot, but there is nothing I can do to stop the madness. And so my only words of comfort are “this too shall pass.”

He says, “I can’t remember anything anymore. I read scriptures trying to find the joy the devil has stolen and can’t remember them moments later.”

“Of course,” I reply. “Remembering scripture is not your answer, relationship with Christ is.”

The pain coming through in his voice he retorts, “I try, but God seems a million miles away.”

“Exactly,” I say. “You have to reach the very end of yourself. You have to exhaust all your plans. All your thoughts have to lead nowhere… then Christ will show Himself like you have never seen Him. It’s called surrender.” The Obama administration has said, “never waste a good crisis.” And God never wastes a good crisis. We all will come to the place of utter despair so that Christ can finally be all in us.

I tell him, just as I have told all those before him, and just as I have told myself a thousand times, “God causes ALL things to work together for good for those who love Him. This too shall pass. And be prepared, because the rescue is going to come at the last possible moment when all hope in you is lost. That’s just the way He rolls. But it is coming.”

I don't tell him of the love his predecessors have found in the aftermath of total relationship destruction, nor do I tell him of the love I have found. That is for after surrender... that is for after Christ shows up in him in a new and impossible way. 

1 YR Anniversary

John 14:21, “He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him.”

One year ago today I responded to the godly compulsion of starting this blog called Propel. Even in the attempt to dispel expectations many existed under the surface of my soul. I thought it would be an avenue to promote my books. I thought it would open doors to intenerate preaching. (so far only once) I expected it would take money and advertising to create traffic, and never expected organic traffic to occur. And yet here at the one year point since I have started I have had 7500 visitors from dozens of countries find their way to my writings.

Even though my expectations have been ignored and actual results surprisingly wonderful, I have come to the place in this last year that I write really for only one reason.

Henri Nouwen said, “The word is always a word for others. Words need to be heard. When we give words to what we are living, these words need to be received and responded to. A speaker needs a listener. A writer needs a reader.”

My ego wants a reader, but I personally do not need one. I write solely because as I have my conversations with God He from time to time says, “write that.” This more than anything has become an act of obedience. I do completely agree with Henri Nouwen words when he wrote, “One of the most satisfying aspects of writing is that it can open in us deep wells of hidden treasures that are beautiful for us…”

There is nothing more beautiful than to be in relationship with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. To the degree my writings help in that aspect I pray that you would share in the beauty. Whether you write about it or not is up to you. 

The attached song brings tears to my eyes as I look back over the last year. Truly God has said to me, "come away with Me." And truly he does "have a plan for me." A great plan, a wild plan, a plan for my good. Perhaps there is not a better song to describe my experience with Christ in the past 12 months. 

"the church" And Jesus

Matthew 28:19, “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit,”

I had the wonderful pleasure yesterday of having lunch with my friend Jim Spivey. Among the many things we talked about, it came up that he had recently counseled yet another full-time minister in anxiety. This is certainly a shared passion as I have so ex-ministers and even current ministers disenchanted with “the church.”

Jim described this nameless young man as someone who is anxious at the realization that “the church” (building, denomination, congregation) is not Christ. And it is this realization that “burns out” so many ministers. Men and women on fire for God, wanting to make a difference in the world, wanting to not only be a disciple of Jesus Christ, but to follow His command and make them as well. And so this desire leads them to the most logical of places… church staff membership.

But “the church” is not The Church. And “the church” is certainly not Christ. Even more so the pastor of “the church” is not Christ either. Suddenly for the minister the mystique of a utopian work environment engineered and managed by Christ is shattered.  It is with this shattering that the mundane task associated with running a church are seen as not materialistically different from any other business. Facilities have to be maintained, accounting must be done, bills must be paid, trash taken out, communications made. If they are “smart” there is marketing to be done. And the minister wakes up with the realization that the difference he wanted to make in the world for Christ is barely making a difference in the church for management. Worse, the tasks asked of ministry staff are usually paid at significantly less that the worldly equivalent.

This in no way is critical of the institution of church. I love church I attend, and it does a tremendous amount of good. But like all “institutions” it is run by men. Men (and women) who I trust seek God for guidance, but who at the end of the day have laid their personality, and character on everything "the church" has done.

And so I laugh a little inside. Here Jesus says, “Go therefore and make disciples…” with little or no instruction beyond that. And look what man has done with AND TO that command. Jesus could have said, ‘go and take over the synagogues in all the towns and appoint for yourselves ministers.” He could have said, “go and sell this gospel that I have taught you in the market like fish.” But He didn’t.

No, we… men and women (with the purest of intent) have done that.  It is a great day when God opens your eyes to see that “the church” is not Jesus. It allows you to appreciate the institution all the more, and yet keep it in perspective. Of this vision and spiritual eyes seeing The Church as opposed to “the church” T Austin-Sparks says this:

“The Holy Spirit's illumination concerning the church is a thing so difficult to explain to any who may not have experienced it. But to those who have seen it, it needs no explanation. It makes such a difference on all these matters. You will be able to preach Ephesians, Colossians, Romans; preach all about the church as the Body of Christ; you may read it all in books, and still there may be no real expression of it. Then one day it is as though the heavens opened and the thing broke upon your spirit, and you saw it; and all kinds of adjustments became necessary in life. You can say – I saw that the church was no denominational or national thing; I believed in the oneness of all believers. Yes, you can say all that! And yet there is something more. That something can only come by revelation. You can have the other, and it will just take you so far. But get that something more, and it will take you a long way ahead. It brings you into the realm of the conflict and cost, but you are out in an altogether new realm. It is necessary to God’s end.

It is one thing to say these things and point them out and emphasize them; you say: "How do you get it? We see what you mean, it is all quite clear, but we have not got it!" Well, if you really are of the undivided heart, if your heart is wholly set upon the Lord and you see as far as you can see these things, and have very definite dealings with the Lord about it; (it may not be in a day, it may be slowly, steadily, quietly) you begin to move into a new realm of understanding. And you find that your point of view changes; your standard of values changes; your insight changes. It may take months, but at the end of the time you say: "I am changed! Something has happened to me. I can no longer accept what I used to accept!" It may be like that, or it may come in a flash. How it comes does not matter very much, the fact is the importance of this thing – spiritual illumination. The apostle prayed that these to whom he wrote might have it. Let us pray that we might have it, and that all the Lord’s people might come into that.”

Now go and get something more.