NYC College Kid

James 1:2-4, “Consider it all joy, my brethren, (and children) when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

The following is from my daughter upon graduating from St John’s in New York City, having come from suburban Texas. I make no apologies for the language, as I am so proud of her, and overwhelmed with joy at the lessons she has learned.

"Don't tell me I don't know struggle

Mentally, emotionally, financially

In relationships, in school, in the city The big bad city. It will make you bad. Either you come out a badass or a bad egg. Either way, This city changes you Down to your core You will go into it thinking you won't change, but believe me... You will.

Whether it be the temptation...

Drugs, love, boys, girls, money, alcohol All at the snap of a finger Or the fight With your landlord, your boyfriend, equality and let’s not forget the symbol that makes the biggest change- MONEY or lack of. See you can get here and make a mint. Then you change for inevitably the worse. Because without struggle. Without the not knowing whether or not you will eat today, the fear of being mugged on your way home, the sight of homeless children begging for money, eating from the dollar menu because that's all you can afford, or at least you hope you saw a dollar in change in that bag the other day. In all likelihood- if you move to New York before the age of 30, you will suffer- oh you will suffer- and you will change, for better or for worse.

The happy go lucky girl or guy will disappear leaving nothing but fatigue and resentment. You become defined by your stresses, you no longer can be called a person. You are anger, you are pain, you ARE constantly stressing out about keeping your lights on. See... I've been there. Seems like I've always been there.

For me, New York changed me. It gave me compassion and understanding for people I would have never encountered elsewhere. It make me skeptical, head strong and fiercely independent. I regret that although NYC has matured me and has created a level of empathy that I could have not previously imagined, there are scars. I can't tell you how many times I have been at my breaking point. CONSTANTLY FUCKING STRUGGLING. There is no house to escape to. No raiding mom and dad’s fridge when you're low. You make money or you fucking starve. No one is here to be your friend. No one is here to watch you succeed. They have their agenda as you have yours, and one of you will be the stepping, the other the stone. You pick.

The weak fall under the stress of it all. Go home within a few months jaded and with their tail between their legs But if you can make it here. I mean just fucking survive. You are a fighter and you have the potential It takes to succeed. NYC can make you ruthless, unforgiving, hardened- but the direction of the anger is not how it would have been. The anger is at the injustice of the poor, the ignorance of the masses and the needless fucking suffering a college student endures because they wanted to better their education.

I feel as though I am weak from this city.

I am angry. Ill be honest- I am furious. I hate feeling shafted, and believe me... NYC will do that.

You watch selfish housewives gleefully use their husbands' credit cards without a second thought. They didn't earn that money. Although I don't think about that often. I'm too worried about eating, buying soap, and finding enough change to make It to school. I am below the poverty line Because of course, I am a NYC college kid." 

And to Katherine I say, "You are a NYC college GRADUATE, and I am so so very proud of you!"

What Are We Missing Along The Way

Luke 24:13-15, “And behold, two of them were going that very day to a village named Emmaus, which is about seven miles from Jerusalem… While they were talking and discussing, Jesus Himself approached and began traveling with them. But their eyes were prevented from recognizing Him.”

Why are we as a society, as mankind, so much about getting some place, obtaining some thing, completing, competing, achieving, building destroying, accumulating, and accomplishing? Why must everything have an end, a destination, a goal, a prize? Is the arrival happiness? Is there true joy or peace in achieving?

Cleopas & his companion walked seven miles with Jesus, Him talking a lot of the way, and did not see that it was the risen Lord until into the evening as they ate a meal. Were they overly concerned with getting to Emmaus? What prevented their eyes from recognizing Him?

What am I missing as I travel this life? How many times is He here with me, and I am unaware or unrecognizing?

This becomes my focus and the subject of my conversations with Christ through the Holy Spirit. How do I let go of the temporary nature of tomorrow, and live in the eternalness of today? How do I live in the daily murmuration of the Holy Spirit moving like one of the many starlings, independent yet in concert with the Maker?

Time and time and time and time again God says, it’s not about the destination. It is not about arriving, but it is about the walk, the journey, the daily recognition of Christ and the following Him. Life is not about what I can build. It is not about what I can accomplish. But what He can accomplish in me. Reiterating this point comes T Austin-Sparks in my daily reading. He wrote. “… that which is of supreme importance is not Christian doctrine, mentally appraised and apprehended, but a living and clear spiritual apprehension of Christ.”

What is important is that we recognize Christ with us in the journey. What is most important is that we recognize and follow Him. T Austin-Sparks continued, “The Lord would teach us… that the ground of assurance is not in our having decided for Christ, nor that we persist in the Christian life, nor that we feel strong, nor that we have certain ability as Christians and are able to do this or that. It is not the measure of our activity in the work of the Lord, nor any one of this things constitutes us is that Christ is the foundation, and that we are inseparably linked with Him by faith. EVERYTHING else can be suspended as secondary consideration until that is settled… If only in the face of all you may see of a multitude of contradictions in your own life in weaknesses, and imperfections, and lack of attainment, you will persistently believe in Him as having it in Himself to bring you through to the end, you will go through in spite of all…”

We cannot attain, obtain, or achieve anything beyond that which Christ already has. And the journey will teach us this if we are not looking for the Companion Who travels with us… Who we should be following.

When we follow Christ we lose concern for the destination. The only thing that is important is staying with and keeping up with Him. Consequently the journey becomes alive. The journey becomes the destination and in it are the joy, and peace, and patience, and understanding that comes from being in relationship to Christ. Recognize Christ in your journey and find the joy and peace you thought only existed in the destination. 

Follow Me

Matthew 8:22-24, “But Jesus said to him, ‘Follow Me…’ And He got into the boat, His disciples followed Him. And behold, there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being covered with the waves; but Jesus Himself was asleep.

Have you ever thought about how many times Jesus said, “Follow Me?” How about how the only thing the rich young ruler was missing was to “Follow Me.” (Matt 19:21) But where are we following Him to?

I dare say that if you have an answer then you are probably not really following Him. And yet we all want to know the destination. We all want the pleasurable paths to never end, and to get off the difficult paths as soon as possible. We only want to go places we know will be pleasurable, and yet Jesus never said, ‘Follow Me to (you fill in the blank). No, He just said, “Follow Me.”

For sure there is a place we will arrive if we follow Him. That place is face to face, embraced by His love having escaped His judgment. But oh that path can be so uncomfortable from time to time. There is a cross to carry on that path, and to even pick the cross up there is a surrender that must occur. All of which causes us to focus on things completely other than following Him.

Some think being perfect and sin free is the path, but Perfect and Sin Free is the person of Jesus Christ. The path behind Christ does grind sin from our souls, but that is a side effect, not the purpose. No the path is there to show us just exactly how different we are from Christ. In this understanding of the difference a transformation occurs. From this vision is gained. A vision that reveals the miracle of the journey. The journey, the following Him is the beauty of life. There is no destination because following Him is the destination.

There is no need to get caught up in wanting a marriage to achieve some certain goal. The journey together is about diamond sharpening diamonds in murmuration with God’s will and desire. This is His beauty. There is no need to pursue a position as the journey in your job is the opportunity to be aware Christ is there leading you places that will remove the dross of your character. In loss there is gain, and in gain there is loss because it is about the journey and not the destination.

Stop trying to make your career something, your marriage something, your children something. They are not a destination; they are all part of the journey.

I have a bucket list, and on that bucket list are vacation spots I would love to take my wife to. But in my heart I truly want to enjoy my current travels. Even though my path seems to be the same every day, I want to notice the details of the journey today. What are the subtle differences? What are the changes based on the seasons? What is God showing me today? Better yet, what are my desired destinations showing me about how different I am from Christ? Am I telling Christ where to take me, or I am following Christ wherever He goes? Am I enjoying the journey THROUGH many destinations, or am I demanding to camp and any certain one?

The journey following Him is grand.

Doc McCallum

Luke 22:44, “And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.”

To me this is a story of murmuration… of God moving many in concert to reveal himself.

I called a friend of mine, Tammy Carmichael, out of the blue the other day to see what is going on in her life, and in the conversation she told me the story of her grandpa passing away. His name was Doc and he was a federal game warden.

Apparently Tammy and Doc’s relationship was strained the last couple years of his life and she didn’t have much if any contact with him. Doc was not known for any kind of religious zeal, and has his body no longer could function as completely as his mind wished so his attitude became that of an ever increasing grumpy old man. Perhaps this attributed to the lack of numbers or people willing and able to speak on his behalf at his funeral. Or perhaps he simply out lived all his friends. I don’t know the answer, but Tammy, his estranged granddaughter, would speak at his memorial.

What would she say? How would she describe his final rest? What positives were there to learn from in his life?

As she pondered the Holy Spirit said to her something to the effect of, ‘remember the garden of Gethsemane. I was not sweating blood because I was afraid of the cross. I was sweating blood praying those of little faith, and those like your grandfather through to heaven.”

As it came time to bury her grandfather he had purchased a humble plot that had apparently been sold twice. To make up for the mistake the funeral home offered the family any other spot. Knowing Doc loved the outdoors and water the family picked a spot near a pond. It was after her grandfather was buried that Tammy noticed her loved one had been buried in the section the Cemetery called “The Garden of Gethsemane.” She didn’t pick the plot, but immediately in front of it was a statue of Jesus looking down on her grandfather's grave.

Murmuration. 

Selah

Moving Forward & Getting Over Myself

Philippians 3:7-14, “But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived by the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which come from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold or it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

My friend Jim Spivey from time to time will comment on “how together” he used to think he had it. Or perhaps it is a comment on “how together” he would portrait to others while completely tumultuous inside. Either way, I am starting not only to understand, but to live in that parallel corridor of the spirit. For too long I have been looking back at the wealth and success of the past as being God’s blessing and longing, hoping, praying to return; all the while justifying this attitude with the scriptural idea of resurrection or restoration. As if in my previous business life I “had it all together” and some demon from hell came and took it away because I was too perfect.

Barf….

In fact, today in the “surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus” I am astonished by my own arrogance that a little success birthed. Got it together? If I had it together then God would have left me there. But as Job discovered, the Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away, and as Paul says, “for Whom (and by Whom) I suffered the loss.” In fact, I for the first time understand that not only in years gone by did I not have it together; I still don’t have it together. I am so getting over myself that aside from obedience I would stop writing completely. What do I have to offer? And to the degree any of this is born in self and human understanding it is all worthless.

Surprisingly this revelation is exhilarating. To understand the past is NOT better than the future I am moving forward with Christ. To understand that if God wanted me where I was, or to return where I was then I would be there. Relying on grace I see that today much more of the surpassing value of Christ than ever. The past is so very forgettable. I press on, move forward, and get over myself. 

Relieved of the pressure to do, to have, to create I am free just to be what He created me to be today. Being freed from the past I am able to live today on a path forward with God, without direction, but step by step each day in fellowship with Him. Over myself I no longer believe my own advice and vow not to give it to others. There is only Christ, and there is only love for Him and one another. 

A Real Life Christmas Carol

Matthew 5:24, “leave your offering before the alter and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come present your offering.”

I was describing to my friend Jim Spivey the other day a reminiscing and repentance that had come upon me as of late. I told him that I don’t know if it all the deaths that are around me losing a brother-in-law, a friend, an uncle, an in-law in short order, or if now taking Lipitor has freed my blood up to release distant memories but that for the first time in my life I am looking back and seeing very clearly things that I did to people.

I am looking back and not seeing what was done to me like in the post Bullied, but seeing what I did to others and with the clear vision that I have to day I find it very sad, and it has led me to true repentance for so many ugly things. In fact I told Jim that I was going to create a blog that if anyone searches “I hate Jeff Yuna” that it would lead them to an apology page. So if this is you I’m talking to, I am sorry for ALL that I've done. And if you would like to contact me please feel free, and I will try to make amends.

But back to the story… it was at this point Jim said with a laugh, “sounds like you are living a real life Christmas Carol. First Scrooge is shown what made him like he was. Then he is shown what he did along the way. And then he is given an option for the future.”

And so as I reminisce may way through 40 or so of the past 47 years I choose to make the future a different place. I choose to not allow the past to shape my present. I choose to say I’m sorry and to seek forgiveness. And I choose to do better. I choose to follow Christ closer and to love people more.

The Kingdom of God in a Word… Vision

Matthew 13:13-17, “Therefore I speak to them in parables; because while seeing they do not see, and while hearing they do not hear, nor do they understand. In their case the prophecy of Isaiah will be fulfilled… But blessed are your eyes, because they see; and your ears, because they hear. For truly I say to you that many prophets and righteous men desired to see what you see, and did not see it, and hear what you hear, and did not hear it.”

Jesus in saying in context of the passage that there is vision and hearing of the “word of the kingdom.” (v. 19) So for those who would like a description of what the gospel of the kingdom of God is, I would say vision. As God’s kingdom which is sown inside of you through salvation grows and displaces all those things not God; the one thing that happens is spiritual vision become clearer and clearer. The kingdom of God is seeing the murmuration created by the Father in concert with the Holy Spirit, at the direction of Christ, and the cooperation or coercions of people.

This vision allows the importance of today to shine a light on the insignificance of tomorrow. Our destiny is to be conformed to the image of Christ according to Romans 8. That is the long term plan, but each day is lived on purpose for the kingdom. Each day is filled with special awareness of God, and subtle and not so subtle acts of obedience; perhaps even conscious and unconscious obedience.

The vision of the kingdom sees God in the center, not the top as He is in everything and holds everything together. The vision of the kingdom of God sees no value in the kingdom of man or man’s plans. This same vision sees God moving and therefore trust God more and more.

There is no need for building something grand; there is no need of completing some work, or becoming some symbol of perfection. The kingdom of God is His, and the vision allows you to see the control He truly has. God does not sit on some throne giving orders, or have to trust man or angel to execute those orders. God is in everything. In Him we live, and move, and have our being. When you “see” the kingdom you see that He does not “need” us. But that we need Him, and what he calls us to do is there for our benefit, not, nor ever His... nor anyone else's beyond the mumuration.

The kingdom is individual responsibility and individual accountability to God. The vision of the kingdom is seeing God orchestrate all that individuality in murmuration like the brain causes muscle, bone, skin, blood, tendons, nerves and more to move in concert with each raise of the hand or step. The kingdom is the mysterious unseen force that uses all the parts to create the desired cumulative effect.

The vision of the kingdom is no longer wanting to be a cancer in that body of Christ or believers. The gospel of the kingdom is that we can all discover, and be our part, and stop resisting of fighting the movement of God. We can all be an image and reflection of Christ. We can all be in individual relationship with God.

The vision is seeing that others have intrinsic value. Something about mankind God loves. Something about every single individual of mankind God loves. The vision lets you see that God loves you. 

I have never explained a music selection with my post, but they all have meaning as they relate to the post. But this song for me says, you are not my king, and I am not yours. Seek the truth for yourself as I cannot save you. If you think God's kingdom is anything about you or me or any man being in charge of anything you are so sadly mistaken. The gospel of the kingdom of God is that He is in charge of it all. We do this together, arm in arm, equals. 

Debunking the Apocalypse

Genesis 9:11 “’I establish My covenant with you; and all flesh shall never again be cut off by the water of the flood, neither shall there again be a flood to destroy the eart.’ God said, ‘This is the sign of the covenant which I am making between Me and you and every living creature that is with you, for all successive generations; I set My bow in the cloud, and shall be for a sign of a covenant between Me and the earth.”

Seems anymore that everywhere I turn the media is talking about the Mayan Apocalyptic prediction… that the end of the world is coming in December by global flooding as predicted by the Mayan’s. All over the globe people are planning and preparing to survive. 

It is true that our solar system is passing through the equator of our galaxy, and that there will be stronger gravitational pull on the solar system and the sun causing stronger and potentially devastating sun spots. But God’s word is also true, and the world will NEVER be destroyed by flood again. Perhaps the scientists are reading the Mayan work backwards. Maybe their calendar began after the flood of Noah, and doesn’t end with it. Either way, there will be no global flood and all these people preparing for a Mayan Apocalypse are largely wasting their time.

And yet still many people of most faiths have this idea that the end of the world is coming. For the Christian faith they point to Revelation and the return of Christ. They argue that though no man knows the day or hour there will be signs in the heavens, and that perhaps this Mayan understanding of our migration through the Milky Way is just such a sign in heaven.

Let me make another bold prediction based on my Christian faith. Jesus is not coming back any time soon either, and the tribulation is NOT about to start.

How can I say this?

Because it is what Jesus said. He said in Matthew 24:6, Mark 13:7, & Luke 21:9 that, “You will be hearing of wars and rumors of wars. SEE TO IT THAT YOU ARE NOT FRIGHTENED, for those things must take place, but that IS NOT YET THE END.” I cannot remember a single time in my forty-seven years of life that there has not been a war going on somewhere. So while this continues Christ return is not imminent, though I welcome it with open arms. To the contrary His return and the tribulation of Revelation will come in a completely different time. The Apostle Paul wrote in 1 Thessalonians 5:3, “While they are saying, ‘Peace and safety!’ then destruction will come upon them suddenly…”

If you really must know when the end is coming, and it is… it is coming when Jesus said. It is coming when “This gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all the nations, and then the end will come.” (Matt 24:14) The good news of salvation through Christ has been preached in every country, but the “gospel of the kingdom” remains unpreached even in Christian churches of America. That my friends will be the beginning of the end. Which I say not by way of the prophetic, but the literate having read the word of God and trusting Him and His love for all of us.

So stop sweating the end of the world, and start pursuing the kingdom of God. There is a the peace that passes understanding in this pursuit as opposed to no peace for packing, planning, hoarding, and worry.  

The Hope of the Cross

Hebrews 12:2 , “… Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy (hope) set before Him endured the cross…”

The Spirit of God continues to murmurate the idea of the three crosses on Calvary and the hope they represent. The grace of God in the simplicity of salvation through Christ is such a hope. What a paradox in that something as horrific as a slow death on a cross is also associated with the only hope of this life.

T Austin-Sparks says, “The Cross means suffering; it is the very symbol of suffering – we know that. The cross means travail and anguish – we know that. The cross means despair… But with all that, in God’s desire and God’s intention it is unto joy; it is unto sheer thankfulness; it is unto hope, a new hope; it is unto life – all the things which are exactly the opposite to what the Cross seems to say.”

I received a call yesterday from a friend in some desperate times. He is about to lose his place to stay again. He continues to earn 1/3 of what would be considered normal for him. He continues to spend most of his income on court ordered child support to an adulterous ex-wife, and I can feel his pain when he says, “sure wish God would stop this… I don’t know what I’m going to do or how much longer I can take it.”

This on the surface is sad, but spiritually an awesome place because of the cross.

I told him, “I understand, but you will know God is bringing you out of this when this no longer bothers you.” It will no longer bother him because He will know it is exactly where God wants Him; and if it is where God wants him, it will be where God is. Just as Christ knew the cross was the way to the kingdom and back to the Father. 

You see the pain of the cross is us hanging onto those things that are not God or of Him. The cross represents our total surrender, and it is completely painful when we try to remove ourselves from it. T Austin-Sparks continues in the article above with, “The Cross is not a symbol, the Cross is not an object. The Cross IS a mighty power, a perpetual power; an enaction once in history, but a power running through all the ages… now there is one thing which the Cross stands: namely, a state that is other than that which God intended.”

Jim Spivey today gave an analogy of fears in life being like a tether ball. To me, I see this same analogy as the action of the Cross in the Christians life. In God’s hand we have the peace of the un-played tether ball able to exist in not having our will, or the will of others, but standing in all circumstance against fear and pain. But then we and the world play a game with us (the ball.) We swing round and round always only going so far, and always wrapping up around the center post which is the cross. Jim wrote, “It reminded me of how a tether ball gets when it is hit hard away from the pole, only to find itself wrapping its rope around the pole in ever shrinking circles.  And that brought up an interesting thought about tether ball:  the furthest the ball can ever get from the pole is the pre-determined length of the rope, but the ball surely doesn't know that as it strives to get away, only to find itself drawn nearer and nearer to it, to the point of collapsing into it.  We are like this regarding dangers and fear in this world.  God determines the length of our rope - the maximum distance we can get from danger - but when we try to get further away than that, out of a desperate fear and frantic effort rooted in it, we literally force ourselves closer, through some mysterious law that we clearer don't understand.  Think about this:  if we relax and pay attention to our surroundings, we have a safe distance that can be maintained, based on what God’s given us (the length of our rope), but if we run from our fear of the pole, trying to gain greater distance from it, to be safe, we only draw ourselves closer and into a tightening panic loop.”

When you come to Christ, you join Him on the cross. The pain, the frustration, the hurt is all resistance to the cross, it is being without faith in the power of God to overcome. Oh you can run away, but just at the rope limits how far the tether ball can go, so too the spiritual nails limit how far we can pull against the Cross. The hope is that when we stop pulling, and start accepting and looking for the power of God in it all… this is when we see Him move. This is when the fruit of the Holy Spirit is born, and this is when the kingdom of God begins to become visible. This is not que sera sera. This is consciously choosing to accept God’s will even in going to the cross. 

Awake My Soul and Love

Song of Solomon 5:2, “I was asleep but my heart was awake. A voice! My Beloved (Jesus) was knocking…”

For the past week to ten days I have had dozens, if not hundreds of reminders of my past. Wonderful memories, crazy happenings, and even of the many mistakes along the way, and for some reason this morning I looked back at my life spiritually. The gaze was incredible to look at the distance I have come since first giving my life to God 32 years ago.

I thought about how homosexuals no longer offend me in some form of enmity birthed from childhood trauma and bad teaching. Oh their lifestyle is a sin, but I feel compassion and love for them outside their lifestyle.

I thought about those following religions outside of Christianity, about those within Christianity and on paths complete different from my own. No longer is there judgment in my soul, but hope, and grace, and that same mysterious love.

I thought about religion and the vast difference of my beliefs from my Methodists beginnings, though the foundation of Christ is one and the same. God have mercy on us all as there are so many that would lead us, but I just want to be led by Christ.

In general I just reflected on how there was so much that disturbed me in years gone by that now does not bother me at all either because my trust in the Lord is becoming more complete, or because mysterious birthed inside me is a love for the people groups I once found offensive.

I marveled at the peace, which is not complete, but that I have and is increasing. Have I gone mad? Have I accepted compromise? Or is it the fruit of the Holy Spirit? Rhetorical question as I know the answer.

I marvel at the tolerance. Have I become indifferent to sin, or has judgment finally begun to flee from my soul? Am I callused from the exposure, or have I found grace and mercy and love for their souls... and mine?

I am left with feeling alive. I feel more alive than I have ever felt. Awake my soul. I was asleep, but my Beloved was knocking on my soul… “awake and love” He was saying. 

Three Crosses

Luke 23:32-43, “Two others also, who were criminals, were being led away to be put to death with Him… one on the right and the other on the left. But Jesus was saying, ‘Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing…’ And the people stood by, looking on. And even the rulers were sneering… The soldiers also mocked Him…saying, ‘If you are King of the Jews, save Yourself!’… One do the criminals who were hanged there was hurling abuse at Him, saying, ‘Are you not the Christ? Save Yourself and us!’ But the other answered, and rebuked him said, ‘Do you not even fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? And we indeed are suffering justly, for we are receiving what we deserve for our deeds; but this Man has done nothing wrong.’ And he was saying, ‘Jesus, remember me when You come in Your kingdom!’ And He said to him, ‘Truly I say to you, today you shall be with Me in Paradise.’”

It is so like God to have me study what is traditionally taught at Eastern in the Christmas season. But this comes from driving past a church on the way to a field trial for my dog this past weekend. The church is called Livingway Church in San Antonio, Texas. On their building are three crosses. As I passed their facility the Holy Spirit said to me, “There were 3 crosses at Calvary.” And so while I continued driving I pondered Christ hanging between 2 thieves. All of which was a well and good pass time until the idea of three crosses was mumurated at the field trial itself by a woman wearing a 3 cross pendant. Again the thought of the three crosses on Calvary reverberated in my spirit.

Even now I think of the first criminal who taunted Christ. Perhaps he thought that in taking the side of the executioners, and the religious zealots that it might earn his freedom. Why else in that position of suffering would he be anything but focused on himself? The first criminal reminds me of Eddie Haskell from Leave it to Beaver. Saying what the adults wanted to hear, or in the cast the religious leaders, but completely deviant plans otherwise. He was taunting Jesus I believe to because he believed the executioners had the power. Man, not God, to this person had the power to save him from this imminent death.

The second criminal on the other hand knew he was a sinner. And he knew he was a sinner because in his heart He knew there was a God who held the ultimate accountability. But what shocks me the most, and the thing that I would want everyone reading this to ponder is that this man was “saved” simply by acknowledging Jesus would have a kingdom and asking Him to remember him. One sentence of defense of Christ, one backhanded acknowledgment that Christ would be in authority over a kingdom, and this criminal was saved and received the eternal reward of heaven. Jesus Himself said, “Truly I say to you, today you shall be with Me in Paradise.”

This truly should give us all pause as whole denominations of men have declared doctrines that demand outward acts to achieve salvation whether it by communion, baptism or beyond. And yes the rituals all have importance, but the second criminal is our eternal reminder of Matthew 25:40 where Jesus said, “The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mind, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’” As much as we would like to hide behind an ego created persona. As much as we would like to trust in the doctrines of men for our salvation. As much as we would like to play both sides of the fence. The end will all come down to His remembrance of our heart and the acts it inspired. Simple belief in the kingdom of Christ, but also how did we treat Him getting there? 

The Gospel of the Kingdom

Luke 16:16, “The Law and the Prophets were proclaimed until John; since that time the gospel of the kingdom of God has been preached…”

If I have a calling in life as a minister it is to proclaim the gospel of the kingdom of God. And yet to the modern church, even though this was Christ message, the good news of the kingdom of God is largely a vague term in modern Christianity. Perhaps it is because understanding the kingdom of God is preceded by the cross, and the cross is nothing less than complete surrender of our life to Christ. All of which sounds painful and full of suffering; and to share that with Christ is completely contrary to everything in us that is human.

I suppose it is natural to want the gospel of the kingdom to be about position, power, influence, and comfort. But it is more about equality, powerless without Christ, being influenced by the Holy Spirit, and peace far and above over comfort of circumstance.

People that enter into the kingdom of God – a part of Christian life here and now – are well acquainted with surrender. They are in constant relationship with Christ and an ever increasing awareness of that. They are increasing in faith daily as they not only understand but live knowing God is in control. Richard Rohr describes these people as possessing a “calm freedom and synchronized playfulness.” Kingdom people live in the moment and the day alert and aware of God moving, hoping to jump or move at His command. These same people have no agenda other than God’s. No plans that He cannot interrupt. Their life may look “normal” or it may look “out there” but for certain when you encounter them they will unconsciously impact your life. They live not for glory, or a pat on the back, but they live for Christ and that relationship. I could continue, but the ultimate summation is that kingdom people look and act more and more like Christ every day.

And so here is the good news of the kingdom of God. It is here and available to you right now. Want to live in the fruit of the Holy Spirit and not just occasionally experience it? The beginning is surrender. Surrender your plans, your dreams, your desires, your will, all of you to Christ. Ask to see His kingdom. Ask to experience His kingdom. Ask to know the truth. Or as many have prayed before, simply “Have your will Lord.” Thy will be done. From that moment on you will be asked, compelled and brought to surrender.

Some might ask, what is going on? Why is my life in this turmoil? It is God requiring your surrender. I asked God to be Lord of my life and now this storm… why? Because He requires that you learn to sleep in the storms before you will ever speak to them and still them. Surrender is total trust in God. TOTAL trust… nothing less. And everywhere you do not trust in God a crisis of faith will occur to show you this place. And with each increase in faith the kingdom becomes clearer and clearer until you reach a point in this surrender through the crisis of faith process that you almost welcome the next crisis because you know behind it is clear spiritual vision, a clearer view of the kingdom of God, and a new closeness to God.

That is the good news of the kingdom of God.  

Paid as Agreed

Romans 6:23, “For the wages of sin is death, but the FREE GIFT is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

I was watching a video the other day on how a credit score in the US is calculated. No one knows the exact formula except for the Fair Isaac Corporation, but the speaker summarized the scoring processes as a risk assessment tool based on whether or not you pay as agreed. Every time you do not pay as agreed then your score comes down. And among the many things this made me think about one was that “Jesus paid the price for my sin.”

I thought about how cool it was to think that accepting Christ as Savior means I have an 850 spiritual credit score. As I thought further I wondered who He paid, and what did He pay for, and if paid at all do I now owe Him. I thought about the Christian song, Jesus Paid it All. Did Christ purchase my debt like a collection agency might purchase a bad credit card debt?

The truth is that there was no “debt.” There was a sentence of death hanging over me. A convicted murderer sentenced to death cannot buy his way off death row. That same criminal cannot send someone in substitute and walk free. But with God all things are possible.

This sin and death entered humanity by the sin of one man Adam. And life too returned to humanity through one man Christ because He had known no sin. Therefore death could not hold Him or have rights over Him because He had no sin. In other words Christ defeated death, and in doing so offered us the same eternal life as a free gift to believing in Him.

Unlike a balance of payments, Christ delivering us from death is free. This is not a collection that is later paid. This is a wiping of the sin complete off the spiritual credit report as if it never occurred. Or debts were not paid! Our sins were forgiven! There is a big, big difference. The question is, what will we do with this free gift?

Will we use it to approach God and ask for, and engage in relationship? Will we accept this free gift, or go about trying to earn something that cannot be paid for? Will we condemn others for their mistakes when we ourselves have been given the priceless gift of eternal life after and before committing those mistakes ourselves?

In the end Jesus did not pay a thing, but rather did what we could not do… namely live sin free from birth to death on this earth. It was love that from that point the Father allowed us to share in His eternal life as a free gift. A gift opened in believing in Him.

In fact the same song that says Christ paid the price for me also says He washed my sins away. The truth that I read in my bible is He became my sins, and those sins went to the cross, but now I live in Christ. In fact, the washing comes from US not Christ according to Revelation 7:14, “they have washed their robes…” it says. Not Christ.

I will close with this. In Christ your sins, past, present, and future were destroyed on the cross 2000 years ago. Death is a non-event, but eternal life is to those who will believe in Him. The washing of the robes, the becoming godly, holy, or whatever spiritual term you would like to use is nothing more to me than "surrender." This washing is surrender in relationship to God and becoming alive and aware in His kingdom.

Murmuration & Community

Acts 14:27, “When they had arrived and gathered the church together, they began to report all thing that God had done with them and how He had opened a door of faith to the Gentiles.”

For those few who read this blog along with Jim Spivey’s blog you might think that I have “borrowed” from his inspiration. But the truth is that this is actually an incredible example of murmuration and community as God has designed it.

For those who don’t read Jim’s blog daily at rcdailyjournal.blogspot.com let me say that murmuration is a made up word to describe Starlings as they move in syncopation and the sound they make while doing it. But for those of us who are in community with Jim it is that ever present moving of the Holy Spirit in unison with other individuals that creates this dramatic artwork of the presence of God through our individual surrender that manifests as a collective masterpiece. Said simply, it is the confirmation the Holy Spirit is moving individually by seeing the same beautiful movement in others. Murmuration is what happens in the community that is the living church when the individuals are Kingdom minded.

For me community is a collection of individuals that are gathered based on common ground or passion. Neighbors are community because of where they live. The dog club I belong to is a community based on a passion for a specific breed. Church congregations are usually communities based on worship style, pastoral access, teaching style, and ancillary services. “The Church” is community based on Christ, and even within that grand community there as sub-communities of people with specialized passions.

So this idea of community in concert with murmuration becomes a fulfillment of Christ at work in His church as we see in Acts. Gatherings of people reporting of God working in and through them, or as is often the case of Jim Spivey’s Love Machine & Iwo Jima… reporting what God is doing TO them. As a result the “community” and its murmuration supports the individual, it gives some sanity and empathy to the process of surrender. Community and murmuration encourages the journey deeper into the Kingdom of God. And most importantly to me it adds to the experience of being in relationship to the Father and His Son Jesus Christ.

When you commit to walk with Christ there are automatically challenges that are ever present testing and perfecting your faith. Belonging to the real “Church,” which is all those in Christ, and sharing the experience of Him; help us to see what God is doing in this beautiful spiritual concert of different instruments finding the same key and rhythm. When you find this community, and when you experience this murmuration you begin to see the Kingdom clearly. You begin to discover those people Richard Rohr wrote about, and whom I count Jim Spivey a living example.

Richard Rohr wrote, "I hope you've met at least one Kingdom person in your life.  They are fully-surrendered people.  You sense that life is more than OK, at their core, under all their surface-level experiences.  They have given control to Another and are at peace, trusting the work He is doing within them vs. whatever they might be doing or enduring on the outside.  A Kingdom person lives for what truly matters, and lives in a mysterious sense of wonder, as the Kingdom keeps showing up all around them, for they live life in its deepest sense and claim the freedom to simply observe it in a state of awe.  There's a kind of gentle absolutism about their lifestyle, a kind of calm freedom and synchronized playfulness.  Kingdom people feel like grounded yet extravagantly spacious people.  Whatever they are after, they already seem to be in the process of enjoying it - seeing it unfolding constantly in the most unlikely places.  Kingdom people make you want to be like them and to be with them.  Kingdom people are anchored in and animated by their awareness of God's Love deep within them."

So here’s to becoming anchored and animated in the awareness of God and His deep love. Here is to complete surrender so that we too can mumurate.

Death

Psalms 116:15, “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His godly ones.”

I've been thinking about death a lot lately. My brother in law passing at the untimely age of 50 is instrumental to those thoughts. Then my great uncle Pete passed away this morning (11/26/12) in a very brief battle with cancer.

I didn't know Pete well. In fact, I can’t even tell you how Pete even became short for Joseph Bartholow. But for years he has been a regular fixture at the family holiday gatherings. 

Pete was a staunch liberal. I imagine a card carrying democrat that certainly probably blended in much better in Chicago or the Eastern seaboard than in Houston, Texas. And in spite of our best efforts Pete never lost that Yankee twang. 

I can’t tell you what religion he was, if any at all. Though it is absolutely true that he discovered the Truth today. As we all will when we are face to face with God and His Son.

If I were the judge of Pete’s life, which I am not, I would find him to be a good soul. In fact, I have never seen or heard of any malice in his life. I can tell you that I did see his love of my uncle John and his daughter. He appeared tolerant of polar opposite political views. And so in that I could see and observe on  a limited basis there appeared to be no grotesque character flaw, while simultaneously observing acts of love I would say, that to me… Pete was in his way godly. And therefore his passing today was precious in the sight of the Lord.

Did Pete make heaven? I have no idea. For me, had a believed what Pete seemed to believe I personally would not have expected to make heaven. But for each of us God has to reveal Himself. And it is God who is responsible for our salvation. It is God through His Holy Spirit that is responsible for convicting us, and for shaping us. It is God that has to bring us to the cross. And it is God who hast to make Christ in us.

I don’t know Pete’s eternal fate. But since he never judged me in my overwhelming difference I choose not to judge him. I choose to hope the truth, if even in the final moment, set him free. I choose to believe that God’s love is so great that He made a way for Pete even though the way He has made for me looks completely different.

God’s will be done, and God bless Uncle Pete.

And then in murmuration to this I read this from my favorite Catholic Priest Henri Nouwen. He wrote,"Our mortal bodies, flesh and bones, will return to the earth.  As the writer of Ecclesiastes says:  'Everything goes to the same place, everything comes from  the dust, everything returns to the dust' (Ecclesiastes 3:20).  Still, all that we have lived in our bodies will be honored in the resurrection, when we receive new bodies from God.

What sorts of bodies will we have in the resurrection?  Paul sees our mortal bodies as the seeds for our resurrected bodies:   'What you sow must die before it is given new life; and what you sow is not the body that is to be, but only a bare grain, of wheat I dare say, or some other kind; it is God who gives it the sort of body that he has chosen for it, and for each kind of seed its own kind of body' (1 Corinthians 15:36-38).  We will be as unique in the resurrection as we are in our mortal bodies, because God, who loves each of us in our individuality, will give us bodies in which our most unique relationship with God will gloriously shine."

It's Ok to Hate Me

John 7:7 “The world cannot hate you, but it hates Me…”

There is a place in this thing called surrender where we have to come to the place that it is ok for people, even those whom we truly love, to hate us. If we walk with Christ long enough, and close enough, our faith and commitment to the cross will be tested. Our confession that we share with Paul of having died with Christ on the cross will come under fire. If we claim to share Christ's cup, then we will face those who appear to “hate” us. Not because they do hate us, but because they hated Christ. For that matter… because we hated Christ.

Christ was nailed to a cross because of hatred. It was our sins He bore there, and it was in many ways also our hatred that hung Him there. And so we will share in that experience. The question is, what will we do with it?

My tendency is to defend myself; and if not defending myself, then to deflect with blame. But Christ never did this. For me if someone wants to hate on me, my natural tendency is to resort to intimidation. How can I mentally, emotionally, or physically intimidate the hater? They don’t have to love me, but by all means they are not allowed to hate me.

But it’s ok to hate me. At least that is what I am telling myself today. It ok to hate me, and I don’t have to eliminate them from my life. Just because they hate does not mean I have to stop loving. Isn't this the example that Christ gave us?

If the hate is directed at the part of me that is imperfect or not Christ like… that’s ok. If the hate is directed at the part of me is Christ like… that’s ok too. Either way the hate is not directed at me because I am neither Christ nor the imperfection.

So if someone wants to hate me, I am here to say, “It’s ok to hate me.” Or at least that is what I am telling myself.