Deuteronomy 31:6, "Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the Lord your God is the one who is with you. He will not fail or forsake you."
So this thing call Christianity is in reality relationship with God. And like any other relationship on earth it goes through phases. Or should I say, we go through phases because God is an unchanging perfect manifestation of pure love. So in the light of relationship, the last several months for me can be expressed this way.
I woke up one day, looked around and felt God walking off in another direction. Now of course He never changed directions, it was me finally waking up to the fact that I had veered off, and I had been ignoring His call to return and walk with Him. I was dis-joined from him, and feeling very much unloved that He did not want to walk with me through life in the direction I wanted to go. And so, like a little baby, I cried... you don't love me. Not to be called a liar, He immediately showed me that He does love me.
Having disarmed my defense and extinguished my excuses, I said, ok... we'll try it your way. This reluctant, yet simple obedience allowed the relationship turns intimate. I am not convinced yet that His way will work, but I am going to try it because I know my way is failing. It is here that God picks up my soul and wraps it in His arms. I am sitting in His lap like a child enjoying the hug, the comfort, the peace, and security this place of rest represents. Looking at the path is scary, but I am not yet walking on it. Picture a child sitting on his father's lap. Perhaps the child is about to learn to ride a bicycle. The dad says, it's going to be ok. Don't worry, I won't let you fall. I will be right there. You can do it. All these words of encouragement from the safety of daddy's lap.
This is an awesome place to be. What better place is there then to be in a place of both security, love, affirmation, and encouragement. In so many ways it is awesome to be broken and scared. In fact, it is even addictive to be broken and scared. The world is full of people addicted to being broken and scared because they are addicted to the comfort people give them when they express it. They go from comforter to comforter exhausting all of them in their need. But this is not healthy. It is not healthy to remain broken and scared and go from comforter to comforter, and nor will God allow a person to remain broken and scared and in His lap forever. At some point we have to get out of the lap of God and start walking that path. Yes He will be right there with us. But we have got to get up and walk, that is where the growth is. That is where we will discover more of what God is and about.
It is here, in this get up and walk place that my relationship to God has come. And it kind of sucks. There is such a marked difference in the "feelings" as I transition from His lap to the path. And there is a marked change in attitude in the compulsions I feel Him press upon me. No longer can I go crying to Him for Him to say it will be alright. Now I have to say myself, it will be alright... and worse believe it in faith. I'm up on the bicycle about to ride for the first time. He's there, His hand is holding me up. But words are turning to action. It's crazy, but I'm living the book I am writing, Growing in Christ.
There is a poem called Footprints in the Sand. It talks about going through life and sometime there being 2 set of footprints and other times only one. The one set being Jesus carrying us. For me, life is in that place where Jesus is putting me down again, to walk side by side.
Right now, as it relates to footprints, there are only three types. Footprints going in different directions, two sets, or one set. If you are in the place of one set, enjoy the time on God's lap. It is a time of refreshment and healing. It's purpose is to make you ready for tomorrow, when you and God do it together.
Isaiah 30:23, "Then He will give you rain for the seed which you will sow in the ground, and bread from the yield of the ground, and it will be rich and plenteous; on that day your livestock will graze in a roomy pasture."
On the way to church this Sunday I was noticing just how dry everything is. How my neighbors' yard have dead spots even though they are all mostly irrigated. On the roadsides the grass is brown. Stock tanks in the pastures are drying up. So I prayed. I said, "God, I don't know if this drought is your plan or not. But I do know that what you have intrusted me with needs rain. If you will not bring rain to the whole area, will you please bring a thunderstorm to my land?" Pretty simple, heart felt prayer.
As I drove on something triggered a super cool way for churches to raise money, and I spent a lot of time thinking and planing on that over the rest of the afternoon. But as I walked to my barn to put the horses up for the evening I looked up and noticed a rather small dark cloud. I remembered my prayer that morning, and I started praying again. I prayed, "Father, in the name of Jesus I command that cloud to give it's water to my land." Crack, the thunder started. So I prayed some more. I began to pray that the land, the livestock, my family, and my children needed the rain. I prayed for the cloud to not move until it had blessed my land. Over and over different things, different needs, were coming out in the prayer. All done while I cleaned stalls.
In my heart I knew the prayer was dual purpose. After all, in the Bible rain is representative of the Holy Spirit and God's presence. So as I was praying for physical rain, I knew that I was simultaneously praying for spiritual rain. I concluded with telling the clouds, "bless my land in the name of Jesus. Bless it with all the water in you." Crazy I know... but guess what? It started raining.
So I stood on my front porch in awe, wondering how many people's prayers were being answered. I continued watching the rain and began mouthing a song. Jamie came out and asked what I was saying. I told her, "yes Lord, yes Lord, yes yes Lord."
Say what you want, but those rain drops brought reassurance from heaven for me. Reassurance that He does hear my prayers. That those prayers do have an impact on my life. At the same time they brought a longing for more opportunities to pray. They made me miss the hundreds, perhaps thousands, of times I've gotten to pray for others and see God work in their lives. I missed praying for the sick and seeing God make them well. So if you would like to scratch this itch of mine to pray for others. Feel free to send your prayer request to jeffyuna@gmail.com. In the meantime enjoy the professional version of what I was singing on my porch in the middle of the rain.
Luke 8:17, "For nothing is hidden that will not become evident, nor anything secret that will not be known and come to the light."
In the past couple of weeks I've heard a mother's pain as she discussed the incarceration of her son for the murder of his daughter, the shame of a brother molested as a child, and heard the confusion of a pastor burning out. I have listened to the honor of the cruelest of childhood abuses and the resulting life out of control. I have met people trying to escape a sinful past, yet somehow wanted to keep the statuesque. I met a stranger estranged by her family. I met a mother at her wits end, busy running the wheel in the rat cage. Can't forget the stranger enraged with life, fully entwined in the lie that the world is against them. Why? Why share with me? What relief comes from exposing their secrets and shame?
Simply, secrets come to the light. It's not my ability to empathize or understand, but rather a lack of judgment that makes me a light. A lack of judging that I've learned in sharing my own secrets and shames with others. Others who responded in love and without bias of judgment.
In Jim's blog on Saturday He quoted Richard Rohr, in The Naked Now. Richard says, "Remember, Jesus never said, 'This is my commandment: thou shalt be right about what's wrong (especially with another).' But that is the only way that both the ego self-image and the dualistic monkey-mind know how to frame reality - something must be wrong, and it’s not me. But it’s not really working so well, is it? Why? Because it is a fatally flawed paradigm and perspective. It is an amazing arrogance that allows immature Christians to so readily believe that their limited mental understanding of things is anywhere close to the full understanding of Jesus. Jesus said, 'I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life' (John 14:6). I think the intended effect of that often misused line is this: If Jesus is the Truth, and you're not filled with Him to overflowing, then you probably aren't the truth (especially if you’re arguing 'against' someone), not even a little bit."
Point is that in those moments when these people choose to share and open up with me, I am, at least momentarily, walking in the truth that is Jesus Christ. The second I start trying to fix, diagnose, point out what's wrong, condemn, quote scriptural solutions... that is the moment the other shuts down. That is the moment the light stops shinning, the love stops flowing, and the work of God begins to be my work.
Even when we are the ones that seek the advice, that vent our frustrations, and confess our frailties and failures solutions are not what we need. We want them. We beg for someone, anyone to give us a practical step, a plan of action to get us out of the mire. But what we really need is for someone to stand with us as a light so that we can see how to get out ourselves. In getting out ourselves, we can avoid falling into the trap again. In getting out ourselves that evil in us that took us there in the first place dies, and the good of Christ is resurrected in it's place. Being a light is giving a hug when someone is crying. It is asking questions when someone is confused. It is walking away when someone rejects it. It is jumping in when someone asks.
Secrets come to the light. Be a light of love to those in your world.
2 Corinthians 10:5, "We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ."
Ever notice how when you buy a new vehicle that upon driving it off the lot you suddenly notice on the road thousands of the same vehicle. Here you were, thinking you were unique, now you realize once again that you are one of thousands. Or ladies, how about that perfect dress, only to show up at the party and see it on someone else. This is called situational awareness, and is a common phenomenon in humanity. The links, the commonality, were there all along. It is just that our situation has made us aware to it.
That situation awareness has certainly been my experience as of late. I think the count is now up to 5 of the men and women chasing after God, but struggling with trusting God for finances. In fact, their situation are even more similar to mine. They not only share the immediate need, but as of late their income are projecting the wrong directions. Unlike the situational awareness of me now seeing every black F350 on the road since buying mine, I believe this is more of a God orchestrated event, so that we can share experiences and encourage one another.
One of those shared experiences is fear. We are all universally afraid of what tomorrow holds. The degree varies, but the fear is there none the less. In talking with one of these experience partners, I found out they were not only fearful, but also felt guilty for being afraid. They felt like it was somehow a lack of faith to have this fear. I personally do not believe that to be the case. So I encouraged them with the scripture above. It does not say, 'don't have fearful thoughts.' It does say bring those thoughts captive. In other words, don't make decisions based on them. I reminded them of Matthew 24 where Jesus asked to not go to the cross. To let the cup pass from Him. Why would he do that except for fear of it?
And perhaps the answer of how He faced and overcame the fear is found in 1 John 4:!8, "There is no fear in love; perfect love cast our fear... the one who fears is not perfected in love." So this situational awareness is really more a God orchestrated event to allow us to see the fear overcome with love for one another.
Amazing none the less. All of us in this experiment would love to be surrounded with people that have both the will and means to solve our financial need. For that matter, we would take the solution in any form, including but not limited to finding a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Instead God has chosen for us to dig in deeper together. God is saying, 'let me show you how to overcome that fear.' Loving Him, and each other conquers the fear. In the process increases our trust and faith in His abilities as we witness this wonderfully orchestrated concert of life.
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I have another house cleaning item. I spoke to a friend the other day who said, did you know there is a Jeff Yuna who wrote a book? That Jeff Yuna is me, and the book is available online for review and comment. http://www.authonomy.com/books/31980/god-speaks/
It is actually book 1 of what I consider a 3 part series. God Speak, God Heals (finished but not edited), and Growing in Christ (work in progress) are the 3 titles. God Speaks is edited and ready for publishing.
I asked them if they would be interested in partnering with me to publish it. They are praying about it. But I since someone has already stepped up for the hand soap, I thought I would put this out as well. It will take me about $2000.00 to self publish. That will include a professional cover and availability at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble.com. Long story, but if anyone is interested I will prayerfully consider all options.
For that matter if you just want to read a copy in PDF format, drop me an e-mail and I will send one over. jeffyuna@gmail.com
Luke 10:40-41, "But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me." But the Lord answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her."
In the midst of Love The Job I suddenly became distracted yesterday and this morning with a business idea/opportunity. I don't know why, but this happens to me all the time. I will usually ponder it, strategize, explore, and research until I find the risk associated with it. And the majority of the time the risk/reward proposition is out of whack, or the capital to start is not there. Either way, the idea dies in my head. But this particular idea, though nothing new, is an opportunity for something to run on autopilot and perhaps generate revenue with minimal effort. And like my friend Mike says, "His goal is to make more money with less effort." At least that's the goal of business. The problem is it has absolutely nothing to do with my mission mandate. Shameless surrender so that some might know Christ more does not include or encompass this business opportunity. So what was I to do with it?
My first thought was to pitch the idea to a friend and ask for some cash to run and experiment. Given his expertise and appetite I'm quite confident he would have gone for it. But the mission mandate was saying, No. Really my only option in keeping with the call of God was to give the idea away. But to who?
Of all places, he was on Facebook. There was the perfect person to pitch giving this too. He has probably half the pieces of the puzzle already. I have the other half. We talked and perhaps God is working in all of this, time will tell. But in the meantime he knows my ideas and efforts come without costs to him. He knows that I am wholly dependent upon God and that if my act of love provides any value, then he will pray about what God would have him do for me. Pretty darn cool relationship if you ask me.
That said I have something else to give away so to speak. Two friends of mine and me bought a hand-soap formula years ago. Nothing much every really happened with it, but it is absolutely the best hand-soap for getting off oil, brake dust, and really anything greasy. The point is I am ready to give that away (in part) to anyone who would like to pick it up and run with it. So if anyone knows anyone interested let me know. I do have a place that will manufacture it along with someone local to distribute. All it needs is someone to catch the vision and make it happen. Contact me at jeffyuna@gmail.com for this.
Going forward I am toying with Propel evolving to Propel CC. CC being short for Consulting and Coaching. All services are provided free of charge. But like I told my friend. I am wholly dependent upon God so if I provide anything of value I would ask that the recipient pray and ask God if He would have them do something for me. Kind of my take on what Jim does for me. But of all people, Jim knows that to be copied is the ultimate in flattery.
So until the path becomes crystal clear I continue to search for God's perfect will and find the person He would have me love today. Amazingly enough, I have been finding someone nearly everyday.
Matthew 11:29-30, ""Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."
The blog post normally are prepared a few days in advance. However in time, this is my first post since "Need Cash?" And I must say that God cracks me up, and I love the job He is giving me. Yesterday was the humorous part.
To say there has been a paradigm shift in my life would be the understatement of the decade. But in this leap of faith, I have some very serious thoughts about burning the bridge to mortgages. It is one thing to say in my heart that I am not turning back. It is another thing to quit what I have been doing for 9 years now. Not that what I am doing has done any good in the past 2 months. My income is a fraction of what is "normal" as God forces the change as much as I try to change directions with Him. So yesterday I have a meeting with my boss. He informs me of a whole bunch of changes that are effective immediately. Basically, that I now work for someone else and have to apply again for the position, not to mention changes in comp and pay schedule. So in this application process, I have to have a valid driver's license. Currently mine is not, and it cannot be made valid until Aug 4, 2011. (Long story - but nothing bad like DWI or something) So I have to ask myself, Is God going to burn the bridge for me? Time will tell, but it still makes me laugh.
In the meantime I stopped by a friends office after the meeting. Told him that I wanted to give him my time, that it was all I have an abundance of and in many ways feel obligated to him. I offered to clean or whatever, and he said, "I want your brain." That led to a brief conversation and me spending about 2 hours with a person working on an internet advertising campaign. I'm a self-proclaimed expert in the area and I really feel like I was able to show some love by asking the right questions, and getting them pointed in the right direction.
Then today was equally awesome and fulfilling. Jim invited me to the Tomball Love Machine group. Unlike Iwo Jima, our men's group, this group is co-ed so a completely different feel. But the people are equally struggling to embrace death of self so that Christ can be resurrected in them. Really a complete honor to be included in with people of such openness, which in my book is integrity. After all, isn't that what life is about. Being who we are, and not pretending? I would share some of the ills, but that is unnecessary for this discussion. As I was driving home I couldn't help but think that about 95% of what is wrong with people has been caused by someone... usually family. I don't want to be a dysfunctional family, or detached, unavailable father. And if it's not family, then it's someone else close inflicting the damage.
I say this not to enable people in their coping mechanisms, but just to acknowledge reality. And just like someone else caused the damage, it is as if God requires the wounded to heal themselves. To turn aside from the hurts, walls, pains, coping mechanisms, and choose to be different. Reality is no one can cure the pain, but we can point the way to the cure, namely Jesus. We can encourage the path to the cure, by acknowledging the pain.
Something else that hit me was that people often say, "I am..." I am an abuse victim. I am an addict. I am... whatever. I really don't agree with that. One woman today said, "I am a dancer." No she not. She danced for a living at some point in the past, but she is not a dancer. No more a dancer than I am a victim of child sex abuse. Yes, I was abused. But I am not a victim. When we hang on to those identities how can we receive or give forgiveness? What I am is a child of God, and that's what she is too. We are not what we do, we are what we are. So it's important to identify with who you really are, who God intended you to be. And never identify with past acts - - good or bad. For example... a CEO is not a CEO. That's a job, not an identity. Some people get their identity by being a "christian." It's a false identity that has them pretending to be righteous. I practice Christianity because I am a child of God, but my identity is not Christian.
Get it? It is a hard thing to grasp, I am a child of God. But when even a piece of this concept is grasped, then the false identities we wrap ourselves in begin to fall. As a child of God I know that He will teach me and train me. As a Christian I will fail trying to adhere to doctrines. As a child, my failure is simply part of the learning process. That's a huge difference and worth repeating. Identifying as a child of God sees failure as part of the learning process and forgiveness is readily accepted. Identifying as a Christian sees failure as an inadequacy and creates a separation from the object of our affection.
After posting this I read something by Charles Spurgeon. In reference to Ecclesiastes 11:1 which said, "Cast thy bread upon the waters; for thou shalt find it after many days." Charles explained it this way. "We must not expect to see an immediate reward for all the good we do; nor must we always confine our efforts to places and persons which seem likely to yield us a recompense for our labors."
Psalms 37:25, "I have been young and now I am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his descendant begging bread."
Do you need cash? I know that I do. But I am going to take a rather unconventional path to it. For a few months now I have been in the middle of this exercise to discover God as both Provider and Provision. In it I have learned so much. I've discovered it gets worse before it gets better. Or at least that is the hope because I have not seen the better yet. Oh I have seen it in closeness to God, but not in terms of dollars and cents. I have discovered the insanity of sanity, though I am waiting to see the sanity of insanity. And as always, I have thought, I have prayed, I have sought counsel. I have done all that I know to do in preparation for what is about to come.
You see, I don't believe in testing God. Yet at the same time I do believe His word. And I do believe that if I stand on it, then I will see it fulfilled. That is how I saw Him cure blindness through me for the first time. It was believing His word that I saw the lame walk. Faith in His word, and I have seen my prayers answered to see cancer go, hearts healed, and the symptoms of stroke disappear. Why? Because I set out to prove His word in my life. I figured if God said He heals through prayer, then I was going to see it. I went to the hospitals and anywhere else I could to find the sick and see them healed. The healing is real and I have seen a ton of my prayers answered in this area. But the question remains, how can I expand this faith to operate in the area of finances as well.
I know that the Bible contains as many or more promises about finances for us than healing. Like Philippians 4:19, "and my God will supply all you needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus." Proverbs is full of them. Proverbs 3:16, 8:18, 10:4,15. How about Proverbs 10:22, "It is the blessing of the Lord that makes rich, and He adds no sorrow to it." Psalms 37:19, "The will not be ashamed in the time of evil, and in the days of famine they will have abundance." On and on the Bible promises supply, abundance, needs met, etc. And yet, here on the first of the month so many of my obligations have fallen further behind. Guess the question is why?
Some have suggested to me that I should be tithing (giving). And to be truthful I give what I can . Before the demise of my business I had tithed religiously and given even more. Over the first 15-17 years of my adult lifetime I gave away hundreds of thousands of dollars. So those seeds are out there. Additionally, when $3.5MM in net worth evaporated and cash bleed out like Niagara Falls, I didn't see any money coming back my way. So with all my heart I don't believe my issue is an issue of giving.
My own thought have been, why won't God bless the work of my hand? I work, and work hard. Being in the mortgage business I manage to find loans. Closing them in a timely fashion and creating a regular stream of cash flow is another issue. 3 times I have been in the top producers for some of the largest mortgage banks in America. 5 times the company I worked for failed. It is not about work ethic. It is about mission. I've discovered I have been on the wrong mission. This is my mission... Shameless surrender that some might know Christ more is the "work" that God wants to bless.
I was called to ministry at 15. Avoiding it has been a whole lot of pain. Embracing it has been a whole lot of pain too. But it's a good pain. Its the pain of death of old and the beauty of the resurrection of the knew. It is Romans 11:29 coming to life in me when it says, "for the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable."
Others have suggested a curse. And yet Galatians 3:13 says, "Christ redeemed us from the curse of the Law, having become a curse for us -- for it is written, "Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree." So its not a curse, Certainly could be the economy and a big fat dose of life. But doesn't faith in God transcend life? Doesn't faith defy the laws of physics, finance, economics, and all other earthly laws?
Up to this point I have survived by borrowing from friends and family on the promise of tomorrow. Always behind, always owing someone something. But today, on June 1, 2011 that ends. I have borrowed my last dime. It is not up to my friends and family to do this. I will not be a prodigal requesting an inheritance before its time. It is up to God to provide both His presence and my daily bread. Just like going to the hospitals to pray for the sick, I am going to put myself out in a place of no return... a place where God has to act. And I am not doing this to test Him. I am doing this because He is compelling me to do this. I am at the place that if the phones get turned off, then God wants them off. If the lights go off, then God wants them off. If absolutely nothing comes in and I can't pay the first priority of child support... then go ahead and jail me because its what God wants. Take my house? You can have it, because I am trusting God to provide.
And this concept is really not unique. I have a friend Russell who years ago was in the exact same position. He told his dad about it and his Dad bailed him out with $11K. He told me that taking the money was one of the biggest mistakes he ever made. That it only delayed the inevitable which was a complete and total trust for God. Short version of a long story, a while later he was $28K in the hole, the bank was going to take his house. On the very day of foreclosure God provided a miracle. Another inspiration is Jim, my faith coach. He left a $500K/year job to simply love on people. He does not advertise, he does not have an office, he does NOT CHARGE. And yet today God provides him with "exactly what he needs." So they were my confirmation that this desire inside of me is a godly one.
This is not to say that I will not continue to work, because I am. I am not going to sit on my porch drinking Dr Pepper and eating chips waiting on a check to arrive like I am on God's welfare system. And even though so much of how God provides to His ministers is through touching the hearts of people, this minister is not going around begging bread.
All around me this message is being confirmed like what I read from Oswald Chambers today. He said, "A man's obedience is to what he sees to be a need; Our Lord's obedience was to do the will of the Father. The cry today is - 'We must get some work to do...' We have to see first of all that God's needs in us personally are met... The purpose of this (lesson) is to get us rightly related to the needs of God. When God's needs in us have been met, then He will open the way for us to realize His needs elsewhere." And as I believe open the way for our needs to be met as well.
So what changes today? For me, it is my heart. In Jesus name I am going to be as steadfast to this commitment as I was to break my nicotine addiction. Mathew 11:12 says, "... the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and violent men take it by force." My hearts commitment to this is militant. My heart is to take this on and take it by force if I must.
Beyond this militant heart to capture what God is compelling me to do, I am also going to be open and honest about all that happens. Good, bad, or indifferent. The readers of this blog will see the lessons and miracles that come. If fact, I will start with this.
Since this is in essence about faith for finances I think that it's safe to have a measurement. I don't want to be too specific so I am have chosen an arbitrary numerical system to evaluate God's provision of daily bread. (money). Today, the running total is -25. So in the terms of provision I am in the hole, but God is going to show me the way out. So look for what I will call June 1 Updates at the end of subsequent posts.
Now let's see together what He does. In the mean time I am going to be militant in standing for this. "No" is not an answer. Discouragement is not an option. Advice is pointless. This is my Jacob moment where he wrestled with God in Genesis 32. So encouragement is always accepted because I am not letting go until He blesses me. Even if it leaves me crippled or dead.
I am not a pretender. I am not like the others. And that's why today's selection is the Foo Fighters. (Thanks for the inspiration Jim)The officers in their riot gear are the world, the discouragers, the unfaithful. They are those that rely on themselves, their intellect, and perceived skills. They are at work for Satan and don't even know it, but think they are doing good. First one comes and the intimidation doesn't work. Then more... still I can not be intimidated because I am not like the others. Finally the attack, only to be utterly destroyed by the blood of Jesus Christ. What side of the line are you going to be on? The real side, or the side of the pretender?
