I remained trapped in this notion of having to define my life's purpose. Or should I say trapped by not fully knowing my life's purpose. It is as if somehow, if I could discover the magic purpose of my life then everything would suddenly come together. Then the path would be fully illuminated and struggles in mere existence would fade away as forgotten memories. And yet this very need of self-determined purpose, this need for dictating my life's direction too must die.
In a broad sense, all Christians live for the purpose of being conformed to the image of Christ. Romans 8:29. This process of conformity being a proverbial death of character traits not shared with the Almighty, and the glorious resurrection of His traits in the void.
Perhaps it's a need for predictability, or there is some false security tucked neatly into this idea of a self-determined path. After all, wouldn't it provide loads of direction if a person could dictate that thier individual life's purpose was to be a President of a company, an author, housewife... anything. Wouldn't the mire of being trapped in something that you know is not your purpose clear with a little direction. One can say, I'm going to be a doctor, map the path, and walk it to success. But this is not necessarily a fully expressed life in Christ. Not necessarily a satisfied life. To some degree planning one's own life's individual purpose would bring some temporary comfort in having a plan for coping with and conquering the world. But reality is that it does nothing to draw out our true purpose. That is discovered only in a daily walk with God.
Wouldn't it have been great had Christ not been so ambiguous while on earth. Couldn't he have shared with us his educational plans, His day timer, perhaps even some of how He determined where to go and what to do... Oh wait, He did. He said in John 5:19, "... the Son can do nothing of Himself, unless it is something He sees the Father doing, for whatever the Father does, these things the Son also does in a like manner." So reality is the Holy Spirit was Christ day planner. A day planner that did not include tomorrow like Jesus said in Matthew 6:34, "So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
So am I advocating no planning, no defining of purpose? Not at all. Because until we can hear and see everything the Father is doing, just like Christ then we must have some mechanisms to operate by. But simultaneously we must be willing to drop all pre-scheduling to be obedient to the Holy Spirit if needed. We have to be willing to wake each morning as say, God, what is your purpose for me TODAY? Who can I touch? Who can I be a reflection of You to? What task do You need done?
In the end, if we will simply do what Christ commanded... love God and love our neighbor each day then the rest will take care of itself. That is love God today, and love your neighbor TODAY! Then we have sought first the Kingdom of God and all these things will be added to us.
I have to share the simplest of examples. One day after praying I felt compelled to do my youngest daughter's tax return. Crazy to think this would have any importance to God as she had only paid in a few dollars in withholding. But low and behold she was entitled to a sizable refund. That money arrived into her account the very day she needed it for the deposit on her apartment. Had I not obeyed what God was telling me to do, then I would not have done the return, and the money would have arrived no less than a week later. See... I loved on my daughter for God.
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