Having been a victim of sexual abuse before the age of five by a neighborhood teenager I can say that I am particularly sensitive to the people who have in anyway been victimized by similar events. I have in my circle of friends four people that were sexually abused by their fathers. A suffering far worse than mine in my opinion. Also included is a parent whose son raped his daughter. I have more than one friend who an older women decided to initiate them at way too early an age. An all too common occurrence as I read of another female teacher's arrest just the other day. And there are more that I know whose experience, those less dramatic, is no less impacting on their life. All of these people, and myself, were raped.
RAPED! I said it. Not only were bodies raped, but dignity was raped. Trust was raped. Emotions were raped. Lives were raped.
In the headlines is a Penn State football coach charged with having sex with a 10 year old boy. Folks, I'm sorry, but there is no such thing as a perverted old man "having sex" with a 10 year old boy. It is called RAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Statutory rape, but rape none the less. No matter if the act was coerced at the end of gun, or a crafty abuse of power and influence it is still coercion, and it is still rape.
And to those of you reading this that have been raped, that have been the victim of sexual abuse, I will tell you this. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. The victim did not invite the attack. And we as a nation of Christians have got to stop the silence. We have got to stop allow the shame to hide the truth. For the folks at Penn State there are two other indicted for the cover up. Money, shame, fame, none of it is reason to cover up the truth. Shame on you people of the occupy movements. Your silence and cover up is a crime. The truth will be revealed. What happened in the dark will come to the light, or for the victim, without an avenue to speak the truth -- will be eaten up inside for the rest of their life.
For me... it ate at me for 25 years, until I finally spoke up. And now I speak up for those that remain silent.
The silence, the cover up, the imposition of shame upon the victim is the second crime. The inability to speak up, or worse the forcing to be quite is as my friend Jim says, "an even deeper, more devastating invalidation." That is why I am so proud of my Pastor. As deep as it hurt, he brought to the light someone on his staff sexually abusing a 16 year old girl. They didn't participate in the silence. They shined a light on the perpetrator, and cooperated with his prosecution and arrest.
The silence has got to end. Statistically 75% of everyone, male and female, is sexually abused before the age of 18. If you have not been, you are in the minority. If you have been then it's time to speak up, to heal, and to invite others to heal.
And if you have no one to speak up to, call me, write me... anything. I will be there for you, and if not will put you with people who will.
And this is where I stopped.
That was until meeting with Jim and the men of Iwo Jima. It was here that Jim said, "I wish Chad had been here so we could talk about it." And then it hit me. The silence for the perpetrator is equally condemning. The Bible says confess your sins to one another. Likewise there needs to be an avenue within Christianity where a person can come and say, "I am struggling with..." Especially for people in positions of trust. How much more is the pressure to suppress and deal internally with ungodly desires?
So the invitation is extended further. For those who struggle with inappropriate desires, here once again is an open, non-judgmental ear, and reflection of Christ to walk with you through that valley. -- Here is your lifeline.
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