Insatiable

Contentment - Tanielle

Philippians 4:11, "Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am."

Learning to be content in the presence of an insatiable appetite for more has to be my primary struggle. Oh from time to time I am able to turn that appetite to God, and have an insatiable hunger for more of Him. But more often than not it is just plain discontent with present circumstances.

Sometimes that discontent is related to the pain of the situation, other times that discontent is related to wanting more of whatever good is happening.

Take work for example. Here I come and grind out 40 hours a week. I punch the clock at 9:00am. Leave for lunch at noon, and punch out for the day at 6:00pm. About an hour or two of that day is spent actually working... at least that's what it seems like. So here 3 weeks into the new job it appears I will be the top producer for the month. Good right? Favor right?

You would think, but for me it is a fight to not want more. If I can produce $1MM in loans in just a couple of hours, give me more leads and perhaps I can do $3MM or $4MM. And so I begin to not be thankful for what I have because I see the hypothetical of so much more. I loose contentment because instead of a slow crawl out of financial despair I can see a quick way out if circumstances would just cooperate.

It is in all of this that the Holy Spirit presents the opportunity to be content in current circumstances. After all, if there were not a seemingly better opportunity then how could one be "content" in current circumstances. So today presents the opportunity for contentment. Something far opposite of the striving the world and life has to offer. Polar opposite to "getting ahead" so that in a day of lack there is something to fall back on for that contentment.

Add to this yesterday's scripture from John 21. Peter asked Jesus, what about John? What are Your plans for him? To which Jesus basically says mind your own business and worry about yourself. And so I sit here, practicing His presence, trying to discover all the truth of being His child, and forcing myself to be content. Forcing myself not to compare my circumstances with those of anyone else. Content that everything the day holds is masterfully crafted for me by my Father. I choose to be content in the truth I am exactly where God wants me.