I Don't Trust Myself

1 Corinthians 6:18, "Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body."

A few weeks back a reminder popped up on my calender. It was a birthday for an old girlfriend. In kindness, and against the tug on my heart to not do it, I shot off a quick Happy Birthday. In God's infinite wisdom he allowed my wife to find that sent e-mail, and it set off some pretty serious discussion.

Frankly I thought no harm to foul. The woman has been dealt a pretty ugly hand in life, and in my ever present compassion for the down trodden I thought I was doing something nice. The other side of the argument was basically that I was playing with fire.

Having left my better half unconvinced I took up the issue at my men's meeting. Surely among those 12 brothers there would be support... NOT! Deeper I defended myself. I have never violated the sanctity of marriage, and I am proud of that. I am so proud of it that it has created an feeling of invincibility within myself that I am impervious to seduction or wandering. Sensing this, or something else, my friend Gary said, "I don't trust you, and your wife shouldn't trust you... you are full of it." Or something to that effect.

Even in that I left with an internal assurance of guilelessness. My motives were not impure. At least that's the way I felt until Sunday.

A few weeks back our church was hit with a sexual scandal in the youth ministry. Bad enough, but on Sunday I found out that one of my favorite associate pastors resigned for what appears to be an affair with a married woman. Oh my I thought. If he could do that, then what am I capable of? 
 
I get it Gary... we, none of us, are trustworthy in compormising positions with the opposite sex. Burkas and beatings are not the answer, but God clearly tells us to run when this kind of trouble comes. It is this "appearance of evil" that we must avoid. i.e. Herman Cain

What is especially sad about the whole situation is here was a pastor capable of out preaching our Senior Pastor. The man, like me, was a victim of infidelity. And yet, as a single man he fell to temptation, and participated in the very thing he hates.

As for me, no more playing with fire; even in the purest of love for my wife and purest intentions for the other person. There are boundaries that we just don't cross and I thank my wife for holding me accountable to that.