John 14:21, "He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who love Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and disclose Myself to him."
My experience with Lilly continues to effect me. I don't know why I put unspoken demands for results on God when it comes to my obedience. I thought for certain that my plea for some help for her would be heard. But as of writing this only one person called with an encouraging word, and another called her to pray with her. As it remains, her eviction is eminent. But why can't eviction be God's love? Why can't He have a better place and better opportunity for her? That is her attitude now, and an expectancy she freely expresses. Why do I still allow no additional financial aid for Lilly to wear me down?
It reminds me of my years doing hospital visitations. To me it was never enough to see someone's relationship to God increase. It was never enough to see so many people healed. I wanted to see them all healed. I wore myself out by predicting, or wanting results that never happened. I had the hardest time accepting the inevitable, which is death for us all.
Yesterday I had grand plans for another online ministry. I was going to call it faithworks and it was going to be nothing but biographies and contact information on people in need. But having seen Lilly's needs not IMMEDIATELY met it has dashed those aspirations. Rightfully so that the aspiration were dashed. And even though plans should be crushed, it still creates some level of pain. Faithworks, like Lilly should be an act of obedience regardless of outcome. The only thing that I am promised is that behind my obedience He will disclose Himself, and that He has done. I cannot describe the wonderful presence, of the knowing that He is right here with me.
I had one minister tell me months ago that perhaps we shouldn't bother trying to involve others. That it is casting pearls before swine. I don't believe that.
What I believe is that we need to all learn the lesson of the Kingdom of God is at hand. That understanding the kingdom is to have vision. It is to know that we are a body, and if one part of the body is ailing, then the rest of the body cannot function properly. The body has an immune system. It is designed to self-heal. So too is the body of Christ through our actions. None of this is to say that Lilly is not a part being healed in God's perfect timing, because she is. It is just an observation, perhaps most of myself. After all, God causes all things to work together for good for those who love Him applies not only to me, but to you, and to Lilly as well.
I will sprinkle my thoughts with patience, and wait to see ALL that God has in store for Lilly, and myself.
I will close by saying this is not a judgment on anyone because beyond knowing how many read the blog, I have know way of knowing who they were. This is an indictment against myself, against trying to tell God what the return on my obedience should be. I do not have the right to dictate anything to God. This is a reminder to us all that our obedience is so many ways needs to be blind, and God's presence in return is all we are promised, and more than enough reward.
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