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| Jim & his son |
I spent the day with my family at an in-law's ranch. Very relaxing and fun. And as a result I did not have my normal morning routine. I did not have a post in waiting. And so as I sat to write this evening I stopped to read something from my Love Coach Jim Spivey. Mediatate on what Jim has to say today. This is something we all should chew on daily.
“In raising kids, in leading others, in teaching or coaching, in pastoring, mentoring, or discipling another, it's not about what you tell them with your words or demand from them in their behavior or performance; it's always about what you show them and invite them into that rings true and reverberates throughout your own life. When the focus is only on what you say or demand as parent or teacher, their compliance or ‘good performance’ is always fear-based and all about you, and of course when you're gone, so is the meaning and usefulness of the lesson. But when the focus is on what you’ve learned and the cost of that learning, and how you live now based on that rich learning experience, and the sharing of both the lesson and the fruit, others are invited to choose for themselves, and the choice is love-based, and when you're gone the love and the lesson and the ability to keep choosing it remain.
We live in a fear-based world, not because it's effective; it most definitely is not. But because we simply haven't acknowledged the curse (Genesis 3) that we all struggle with and so often attempt to compensate for ourselves, unconsciously, and therefore we can't even see (based on not consciously accepting the need for) The Solution. Here's to accepting both –curse and Solution - teaching our kids to do the same, by ‘living’ and ‘loving’ the ‘How’ and ‘Why.’ Your kids' job, your followers' job, your student’s or mentee's job is NOT to reflect or promote your very artificial goodness or rightness presentation or technique in order to please or reflect well on you; it's to learn well from someone who has learned, and now lives, well, with ‘well’ being more about ‘authentic, connected, consistent, inviting, and true’ than about outward attractiveness based on shallow worldly measures.
True teaching, parenting, and leading is more about helping someone examine, discover, learn, and choose for themselves, walking gently and humbly with them through that process, than it is about regurgitating cold, hard facts with no context or depth or wonder, expecting others to do the same. What most teachers, pastors, parents, mentors, leaders, guides, and coaches do is sadly way more about furthering an organization’s or social system’s agenda than it is about truly serving others’ desire to learn and grow, and the best of those know it deep in their hearts and fight the good fight against it inside themselves (the revolution), bringing it all back to loving and learning together, and this … is pure art.”
We live in a fear-based world, not because it's effective; it most definitely is not. But because we simply haven't acknowledged the curse (Genesis 3) that we all struggle with and so often attempt to compensate for ourselves, unconsciously, and therefore we can't even see (based on not consciously accepting the need for) The Solution. Here's to accepting both –curse and Solution - teaching our kids to do the same, by ‘living’ and ‘loving’ the ‘How’ and ‘Why.’ Your kids' job, your followers' job, your student’s or mentee's job is NOT to reflect or promote your very artificial goodness or rightness presentation or technique in order to please or reflect well on you; it's to learn well from someone who has learned, and now lives, well, with ‘well’ being more about ‘authentic, connected, consistent, inviting, and true’ than about outward attractiveness based on shallow worldly measures.
True teaching, parenting, and leading is more about helping someone examine, discover, learn, and choose for themselves, walking gently and humbly with them through that process, than it is about regurgitating cold, hard facts with no context or depth or wonder, expecting others to do the same. What most teachers, pastors, parents, mentors, leaders, guides, and coaches do is sadly way more about furthering an organization’s or social system’s agenda than it is about truly serving others’ desire to learn and grow, and the best of those know it deep in their hearts and fight the good fight against it inside themselves (the revolution), bringing it all back to loving and learning together, and this … is pure art.”
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