I have known for a very long time that the fear of the Lord is to detest evil as proverbs says, but I learned a completely new expression of it in the past 4 days. You see my dad is in the hospital waiting on triple, possible quadruple bypass surgery. He is a young 68, healthy, energetic, loving, godly man. So to see Him is such dire need is puzzling both from a physical and spiritual perspective. Yet again God uses the experience to show me something new.
I have learned that it is very easy to walk around in ignorant bliss. Truly the saying that what you don't know won't hurt you is incredibly true. Unless that what you don't know is three arteries with 90% blockage. And so on Wednesday everything is wonderful. On Thursday a little indigestion leads to the hospital and the discovery of a life threatening condition. Friday, thinking it was nothing proved to be not nothing, but something that will require the most significant of human efforts to correct. And here comes the fear. Ignorance is still in charge, but knowing I am ignorant is where the fear comes in.
It is blissful to not know. It is fearful to know there is a problem and to have no certainty in knowing the solution. It is fearful to know that someone's life, even my life, is truly in the palm of God's hand. It is fearful to know He can, AND WILL make a decision regarding that life, but we don't know for certain what it is. This to me is the fear of the Lord. To know that we deserve nothing, and that we rely on grace for Him to show mercy. We rely on grace for Him to grant life. For me the fear of the Lord is knowing I am powerless, and yet in need of power. It is knowing I don't have the answer, but not knowing which answer the Maker will choose in His solution. The fear of the Lord is the perfect place of 100% dependence upon Him, and it is made obvious by such a dramatic life event.
In my Dad's case I am quite certain that he will not die. Not because I trust a surgeon, but I am certain he will not die because Jesus tells me it is so in my spirit. And yet, even knowing the Lord's voice, even knowing what I hear is true... my Dad's condition strikes me with fear. Fear of loosing my best friend, my dad, my companion, my greatest fan, and someone I love... so much. I know God has all rights to him. But I am so thankful for this fear. I am so thankful that in this fear of the Lord I can also find the peace, and His love. That in this fear He speaks to me that all is well. The fear is clean... it is not a fear of death, or judgment... it is more a healthy dose of perspective into Who God is and into what He is capable of.
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