The Valley

The Valley of the Shadow of  Death 

Psalms 23:4, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me."

Yesterday for my Dad was very much a walking THROUGH the valley of the shadow of death. The day started as normal as can be less that 24 hours behind triple bypass surgery, but at 11:30am he began to show "signs of a stroke." And even though this is always a possibility in major surgery, it was not within anyone's realm of expectations.

Frankly, it was the saddest, most painful, fear inducing thing I have ever seen. To hear my Dad speak as if his whole mouth were numb, to see his arms fail as he tried to wipe is mouth was overwhelming. I wanted to scream, and I wanted to cry. Add to that - what is understandable coming from my Dad's mouth is complete awareness of his condition at that time, and his own expression of the fear. Feeding the fears were my ever present thoughts of what if....

Several times I tried to encourage myself to find Jesus in the events. To practice His presence as I have said in so many of the recent blogs, and all I could see of Him was a Christ sleeping on the boat in the middle of a storm. Not that He did not, or does not, care for my Dad; but that He was unconcerned because He knew it would be alright. And yet what I would see with each visit did not testify everything was alright.

I even tried to encourage myself with my blog. Over and over I reminded myself that "by not knowing, not hoping to know,a nd not acting like we know what's happening, we begin to access our inner strength" namely Jesus Christ.

I found out first hand in this valley of the shadow of death that it is one thing to know He is with me in it, and a completely other thing to trust He is bringing me through.

And through He did. Somewhere between the 5:00pm visit, and the 8:00pm visit God had proven once again that He was right. That resting in the storm was the correct course of action. By 8:00pm the tremors in the arms had dissipated nearly completely. Dexterity had returned to my Dad's hands and his speech was nearly back, but certainly it's complete coherence had returned.

Reports are he had a good night, and I can not wait to see what God has done in the past 10 hours. Thank you to everyone for you prayers, your concern, your visits, your support. Our family has some of the best friends in the world. I am blown away.