Proverbs 27:17, "Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
I am so looking forward to Tomball Love Machine this morning. It is a small group community of people who for the most part share little in common besides a desire to choose life. All of us are learning to truly live in this chaotic and confusing world. It is a time, like the proverb says, of iron sharpening iron. It is a time to look critically at oneself, and to see the truth in Christ reflected back. These thoughts are not only mine.
Henry Nouwen had these thoughts as well. Someone titled them A Choice Calling for Discipline. I think the title could have been different, regardless this is what he had to say on the subject.
"When we look critically at the many thoughts and feelings that fill our minds and hearts, we may come to the horrifying discovery that we often choose death instead of life, curse instead of blessing. Jealousy, envy, anger, resentment, greed, lust, vindictiveness, revenge, hatred ... they all float in that large reservoir of our inner life. Often we take them for granted and allow them to be there and do their destructive work.
But God asks us to choose life and to choose blessing. This choice requires an immense inner discipline. It requires a great attentiveness to the death-forces within us and a great commitment to let the forces of life come to dominate our thoughts and feelings. We cannot always do this alone; often we need a caring guide or a loving community to support us. But it is important that we both make the inner effort and seek the support we need from others to help us choose life."
Choose life, and find a community, a small group, some friends who will support you in that choice, and walk the same path in their own life.
Matthew 5:42, "Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you."
I reference obedience a lot, and I hope everyone knows what I am talking about. But for those who are scratching their heads and wondering what I mean, let me try to explain.
First there is generic obedience. By that I mean: you have some general idea about how God would have you live, and you do that to the best of your ability without any specific direction or sense of command directly from heaven. Perhaps there is not even conscious obedience, but rather unconscious adherence to some moral code.
For me though obedience is not generic. It is specific to the will of God for the day, or moment. There is nothing general about it. However, in order to attempt specific obedience it first requires a specific command. This command, if you will, must be communicated to me by God. It is this communication that is the first step of obedience. And it is this communication that I spend a the entire book of God Speaks discussing.
STEP 1 - Is to recognize the command. God does not always whisper to your heart with words. He can use anything and everything to communicate a desired action. Jim Spivey says, "God 's love is self-revealing." I say, God's command to love is self-revealing. There is nothing to "look for." The opportunity to be an expression of His love will just happen. Its very happening is most often the command to obey.
STEP 2 - Immediate action. Jim also says, God's love is "self-animating." Again... love is our command always. Love God and love your neighbor Jesus said. To do that takes an immediate response to the command. The act of love has an expiration date. Someone once said seize the opportunity of a lifetime in the lifetime of the opportunity. Same applies to acting in love. Though this time frame is often unknown the act, the command, is usually a very "self-evident" action. Lilly needed money. I had money in my pocket. The command and action were right there.
STEP 3 - Do not judge the results. This is particularly critical for me. As I often judge what should have happened based on my opinion. The risk here is that my opinion is NEVER right, and if I continue to predict then I run the risk of ceasing my obedience because of a lack of results. I run the risk to stop the good because I did not get something in return. This is in so many ways the "self-crucifying" aspect of God's love that Jim speaks of. Obedience can never ever ever be about us. He has to be 100% about Him, and He will make sure of that.
Monday was a perfect example of a day filled with this self-revealing, self-animating, self-crucifying love. I got to spend some time with Greg a.k.a Mr Unlovable. He has a new girlfriend that is actually a girl. Fell off his sobriety wagon, but I got to encourage him to jump back up on it and start day 1 of a new record.
I spent some time with Robert... he simply makes me smile.
And in it all I remembered Birmy is a graphic artist, and so she is now working on some artwork for a new website idea I have. She introduced me to Mouse. Mouse is another guy down and out on his luck, but knows how to build websites. So Mouse and Birmy are going to partner with me on a website idea I have for selling wireless credit card readers. Who knows what God has in store, but my intention is to split any profits with them. They don't know this yet so... shhhh.... it's a secret.
There's more... there is always more. In the end as I drove home I was overwhelmed with the "presence of God." It is a warmth, a smile from heaven that says, "good job." Simple day it was, but pleasing to the Father none the less.
I just want all of this to be encouragement for you to respond to your invitation for obedience in your life. It produces amazing results.
Matthew 16:9-10, "Do you not yet understand or remember the five loaves of the five thousand, and how many baskets full you picked up? Or the seven loaves of the four thousand, and how many large baskets full you picked up?"
The cliche is a little in the Master's hands goes a long way. And this is very true. God has never asked us to do more than we are able. The little boy had a few loaves and a couple of fish and with it Jesus fed five thousand men.
Too often we think that our little is too little to be used when the very opposite is true. Take Lilly for example. If her financial need is $350 for example. Over 100 people viewed that post. If everyone would give $3.50 then what an incredible expression of God's love.
Here is another great example on huge proportions. The church I attend took up a special offering last week in hopes of raising $125,000 to send food to the camps of starving people in Africa. This $125K in turn would feed 44000 for quite a while. On Sunday they announced the $125K had come in. Pretty incredible. It did not happen this way , but had it been divided evenly over the congregation it would probably amount to $20 per person given. Reality is some gave none while others gave a lot and everything in between.
This is just the financial side of giving. Who does not have $3.50. Everyone reading this post does, even if its in a jar of change. But there is so much more than our money we have to give. What about time?
Time is a great one, and again it does not take giving someone your weekend to make a difference. Sometimes it is just 5 or 10 min that makes all the difference in the world. And for those who say they don't have even 5 minutes, I would remind them they just spent that amount of time reading this. So sure you do.
Give a little to someone today. Then as the body of Christ all our little efforts will mount up to be something gigantic as God puts them to His use. Additionally as the body of Christ you are giving to yourself. It truly is the law of sowing and reaping coming to life.
Matthew 5:39, "But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on the right cheek, turn the other to him also.
No sooner had I posted yesterday my disappointment on the results of my obedience, and I opened this from Jim Spivey's blog.
Jim wrote, "I don’t ever get to 'win' at this following His direction thing (and my ego so wants to win and get it all right); no, I will lose, again and again, and He wins for me, giving me more than I ever even knew I wanted."
What happened at the birth of Jesus that changed the nature of following God? Why does the entrance of a messiah make the godly go from smiter to smited? I want to win. I want to smite evil. I want to crush injustice. And yet the New Testament runs in an apparent polar opposite to the Old Testament. Why?
This is largely because the Old Testament is the story of the godly without the Holy Spirit, and without direct access to the Father, and without knowledge of the kingdom of God. Everything therefore became a metaphoric expression of the spiritual. It all was prophetic of the appearance of Jesus on the earth.
Post Christ however, there is the availability of the Holy Spirit. There is entrance into the kingdom of God, and therefore all that is physical becomes irrelevant. In Christianity winning comes from obedience to that Holy Spirit. It is doing that right thing when you know to do it. It is following that compulsion to step out of your comfort zone, and be a reflection of Christ and His love for someone. Then, the prosperity of the Old Testament will be prosperity in Heaven. After all, Heaven is where Jesus said to store up your wealth.
To the world, Charlie Sheen has as good a definition of winning as anyone. But in Christ, winning only comes from obeying by letting go of our will, and following His.
John 13:34, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another."
John 14:21, "He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who love Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and disclose Myself to him."
My experience with Lilly continues to effect me. I don't know why I put unspoken demands for results on God when it comes to my obedience. I thought for certain that my plea for some help for her would be heard. But as of writing this only one person called with an encouraging word, and another called her to pray with her. As it remains, her eviction is eminent. But why can't eviction be God's love? Why can't He have a better place and better opportunity for her? That is her attitude now, and an expectancy she freely expresses. Why do I still allow no additional financial aid for Lilly to wear me down?
It reminds me of my years doing hospital visitations. To me it was never enough to see someone's relationship to God increase. It was never enough to see so many people healed. I wanted to see them all healed. I wore myself out by predicting, or wanting results that never happened. I had the hardest time accepting the inevitable, which is death for us all.
Yesterday I had grand plans for another online ministry. I was going to call it faithworks and it was going to be nothing but biographies and contact information on people in need. But having seen Lilly's needs not IMMEDIATELY met it has dashed those aspirations. Rightfully so that the aspiration were dashed. And even though plans should be crushed, it still creates some level of pain. Faithworks, like Lilly should be an act of obedience regardless of outcome. The only thing that I am promised is that behind my obedience He will disclose Himself, and that He has done. I cannot describe the wonderful presence, of the knowing that He is right here with me.
I had one minister tell me months ago that perhaps we shouldn't bother trying to involve others. That it is casting pearls before swine. I don't believe that.
What I believe is that we need to all learn the lesson of the Kingdom of God is at hand. That understanding the kingdom is to have vision. It is to know that we are a body, and if one part of the body is ailing, then the rest of the body cannot function properly. The body has an immune system. It is designed to self-heal. So too is the body of Christ through our actions. None of this is to say that Lilly is not a part being healed in God's perfect timing, because she is. It is just an observation, perhaps most of myself. After all, God causes all things to work together for good for those who love Him applies not only to me, but to you, and to Lilly as well.
I will sprinkle my thoughts with patience, and wait to see ALL that God has in store for Lilly, and myself.
I will close by saying this is not a judgment on anyone because beyond knowing how many read the blog, I have know way of knowing who they were. This is an indictment against myself, against trying to tell God what the return on my obedience should be. I do not have the right to dictate anything to God. This is a reminder to us all that our obedience is so many ways needs to be blind, and God's presence in return is all we are promised, and more than enough reward.
Romans 12:15-16 , "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation."
Time and time again the Bible reminds us there is nothing to fix. We simply are to "be" with one another. Rejoicing with the happy and weeping with the sad. Add to that the humility to know that we are not more wise than God, so by inference obedience to His inspiration is the true wisdom.
Lilly was a great example yesterday of obedience on so many levels. It was not my task to solve her problem. But it was my godly task to do what I could and bring some dignity to her disparage. But there are so many more people who need what we have, and that need is not for anything financial.
In fact, in my experience, money is the last thing they need. The grieving widow or widower often needs me to reflect Christ in the form of a companion willing to jump into their grief and be with them in it. The rape victim needs from me my limited empathy. and to be reassured often that it was not their fault. They need me to encourage forgiveness. The physically abused sometimes need nothing more than a hug, and to know that real love is out there. The homosexual needs love without condemnation, and to know I can love them without accepting or loving the sin. The sick need prayer. The lonely need someone to talk to. The prisoner needs a visit.
We have what someone needs. And what we have is to simply be a reflection of Christ in the moment.
In my visit to Austin my friend's wife said, "Can you imagine what would happen if those with extra just gave to one person in need?" To that I replied, Can you imagine if 10% of those with extra would give to one person in need? There would be no needs.
Once again, I will remind you of Jim Spivey's words, "“God's Love is self-revealing (you won't have to ‘look for’ Him, He will just ‘show up’) and self-animating (you won't have to ‘wonder what to do,’ it will be self-evident), after you complete your self-crucifying (having fully accepted the death of all of your fear-based illusions).”
You do not have to "look" for opportunities to love as a reflection of Christ. But you do have to obey by doing something when that opportunity "self-reveals."
James 2:18, "But someone may well say, "You have faith and I have works; show me your faith without the works, and I will show you my faith by my works."
Meet Lilly Simon. Her telephone number is 512-228-7697. Hang onto that, you will need it shortly.
I am amazed at the lengths to which God will go to show someone that they are loved. Some might dismiss it all as coincidence, but I know better. I know that I felt compelled to go to Austin, specifically on Wednesday, to drop off some office equipment I sold to a friend. In another coincidence, my friend asked if I would prefer cash over a check. I told him it did not matter to me, but it would be nice to have some cash for the trip home. By coincidence his bank was located in a Walmart. By coincidence I notice a Chick Fil A around the corner and suggested lunch. By coincidence my friend points to a burger joint, and asks if I would rather eat there, and by coincidence when I look I see a woman holding a sign that says, "Struggling mother, please help."
Immediately I knew what I had to do. I knew an exact amount of money I was to give, and I got out of the car playfully upset with God because it was a sacrificial amount. I said, dog gone God... really?
To quote my friend, mentor, and fellow laborer with Christ, Jim Spivey, "God's love is self-revealing (you won't have to look for Him, He will just show up) and self-animating (you won't have to wonder what to do, it will be self-evident), after you complete your self-crucifying (having fully accepted the death of all of your fear-based illusions)."
Walking up to the lady I invited her out of the 104 degree heat and into Chick Fil A with us. Offering her anything on the menu she humbly settled for a small order of fries and a small coke, which I up-sized to a large. My friend, Lilly, and I all sat at the table, and I quizzed her on her situation.
She is a 39 year old mother of a 13 year old son. She recently lost her job in the "organic farming" business. I am assuming it is some kind of migrant farm work because she was paid 1099, and as a result of not being W2 is ineligible for unemployment. She does not have transportation and though she lives in town, by some coincidence took 2 buses to the local where we found her.
And I might say that having lived in Austin there are a lot better places to panhandle than where she picked. But again, this was all a gigantic plan of God.
She divorced about 4 years ago. She doesn't know why her husband left her. She thought they got along. Perhaps he is just a turd (my opinion, not hers), and that is why he threatened her if she were to ask for child support. In fear she agreed to no support. Lilly graduated from high-school, has some college courses in horticulture, and has a self-proclaimed green thumb. Within the past couple of weeks she has been accepted to receive food stamps, and is doing her best to search the internet on her phone for jobs and further assistance. Her phone bill is $35/Mo.
She is days from being evicted from her $645/mo apartment. Apparently in Austin there is no grace because all the apartments are full.
She cried at my invitation to lunch. She cried telling me how she has grown closer to God, and never prayed so much in her life. She teared up at the daunting task of paying bills with no income. I could feel her fear and her pain. And she cried as I reached into my pocket, and gave her exactly what I was supposed to.
She was so gracious and thankful, but I had to remind her not to thank me. She needed to thank God because He used me in part of the answer to her prayers. I explained that He brought me all the way from Houston so that He could say He loves her. A love that is not just words, but works too.
As we were about to leave I made a couple promises to her. One was this very blog. That I would let you know her blight, and that I would give you the opportunity to bless her in obedience to God. It was then my friend reached into his pocket and handed her some more cash. When we got in the car he told me that he had brought that cash to bless Jamie and I with some date money. He gave it to Lilly instead, and for that I gave him a high-five.
All that said, put on a spirit of prayer and ask God what you can do for her. Perhaps you can call and get the number to her landlord and pay some portion of her rent direct and over the phone. Who knows. But I do know God is having me write this for others to get involved. I did not get her address because as I said she is days from being evicted. I would hate for someone to mail a blessing that did not reach her, and I know that between my friend and I we did not fully meet her immediate need. But God will.
Faith works, and works are faith. Just be faithful.
John 15:19, "If you were of the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, because of this the world hates you."
I had some time between non-productive appointments, so I ran by Ecclesia on Taft street to see what I could stir up. Outside was Robert sitting with a mangy mutt puppy. I asked him what he was doing. "Dog sitting," he replied.
I can tell you that today Robert was ripe. The stench put out a good 15 foot perimeter. But that's ok. We talked a little about his artwork. He showed me the napkin drawing of the Alien in the birdcage. He said, "Glad you got to see it before I blew a booger on it." You can't help but laugh.
I asked, "Who are you in the picture? The alien or the bird?"
He replied, "Both."
"How can you be both?" I asked.
He said, "I'm not of this world. I am an alien because I have this like crazy connection to God, and He like loves me.It's way out in the universe or something."
"And the bird?" I asked.
"Oh that's because I would fly away if I could."
Robert is hilarious to talk to. And amazing when he doesn't smell like a landfill. Someone once told me that consciousness, self-awareness, and awareness of God is a function of intellect or IQ. I think Robert is living proof that theory is wrong. Perhaps the intelligent can verbally articulate their experience better, but certainly not be anymore aware. He is more self-aware that he is in Christ then many Christians. And he certain is no genius. Forget that he can't spell his last name.
Today he tells me that he wears long pants because if he can't find a bathroom then no one can see "it" running down his legs. He said it may smell a little bad, but if he wore shorts then people would see. I told him it would be better to drop trou and pee wherever, but he insisted that would be vulgar.
So Robert is conscious that he is an alien in a foreign land. That, as scripture says, he is in the world but not of it. A simple truth, but so hard for us smart ones to understand as fully as Robert does. It is beautiful to know that it doesn't take IQ, talent, family, money, or anything else to come to that to the knowledge of who we are in Christ.
BTW... Robert insists that what he is wearing on his head is not a doo-rag, but a Lor-ral. I asked him to spell it, and he said, "It starts with a 'L.'" LOL
Lastly, I did learn that he is having some issues displaying his art. I think the opportunity may be gone. Additionally, I need to confirm this, but his source of supplies may have dried up as well. So I am going to try to get him some supplies next week. I am thinking though of starting him his own website to display and sell his work. Will keep you posted on that one.
Luke 9:23, "And He was saying to them all, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me."
http://rcdailyjournal.blogspot.com/ - 100% of today's post is a copy from Jim Spivey's blog. When I asked God what He would have me write this morning He said, "nothing." I truly thought it would be nothing until I read the following. Then I knew what I was suppose to post. This is the nature of surrender, and I could not have said it better.
"So many times during every single day I get asked, “What does it really mean to surrender to God? I think I’ve surrendered, but I don’t know what it looks like, really.” So, here goes nothing:
“If we are truly surrendered to God, we will never be aware of our own efforts to become or remain surrendered. Our entire life will be consumed with the One to whom we surrender. Beware of talking about surrender if you know nothing about it. In fact, you will never know anything about it until you understand that John 3:16 means that God completely and absolutely surrendered Himself to us. In our surrender, we give ourselves to God in the same way He gave Himself for us — totally, unconditionally, and without reservation. The consequences and circumstances resulting from our surrender will never even enter our mind, because our life will be totally consumed with Him. While living in it, the thinking about it, questioning it, pondering the possibility of it would all seem nonsensical.”
-- Oswald Chambers
In other words, if you have to ask about it – how, why, or wherefore? - don’t bother. No human intellectual answer will ever suffice.
It’s a flowing, natural response to a supernatural “intrusion,” not a fabricated show to look good or avoid “exclusion.”
This is why this sentence flowed out of me last week:
“God's Love is self-revealing (you won't have to ‘look for’ Him, He will just ‘show up’) and self-animating (you won't have to ‘wonder what to do,’ it will be self-evident), after you complete your self-crucifying (having fully accepted the death of all of your fear-based illusions).”
-- Jim Spivey
Many wrestle with the concept of surrender to God, needing to “get that right” in some way, debating about it, philosophizing about it, agonizing over it, as if it’s some kind of cosmic Rubic’s Cube they haven’t “figured out” yet. But God is not a mind trick to be mastered. Just keep doing your life your way, and He will show up to pull you out of it when you’ve hit the end of yourself. Your work is not to alter, circumvent, deny, fix, or short-cut that design. Just be ready for the help when it inevitably arrives, and be ready to let go of your way when the time comes.
Remember this penetrating statement:
“The life of self is that which causes us pain; that which is dead does not suffer.”
Your new life is not “better,” but “deader,” a “no-header” vs. “go-getter”:
“So if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that's where the action is. See things from his perspective. Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God; he is your life.”
-- Colossians 3:1-3 (The Message)
And that kind of “dead” (the dying life) lets you “have” relationships without “needing” them to go a certain way (a living death). When human relationships and “getting your way” in them are not what you’re focused on, but Jesus and what he’s up to is, you are free to “have” relationships, vs. “need” them, and joy becomes possible and natural."
Acts 4:32, "And the congregation of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and not one of them claimed that anything belonging to him was his own, but all things were common property to them."
I read an article that argued Jesus was a socialist/communist. The author used Acts 4:32 in support of this. I have to laugh at his reasoning. He thinks that because scripture says the early church had the attitude nothing was their own it means they were giving it over to some form of government. On the contrary, when the early church regarded nothing as their own, they were also regarding everything as belonging to God... not government.
As a result the church cared for their own.
Today I got an e-mail of Acts 4:32 proportions. I won't go into details but to say that the relief I feel is like going from the bottom of an ocean with a giant weight strapped to your ankle to the peaceful serenity of a hot air balloon ride. From crushing weight, to lighter than air. I thank God for His faithfulness, and I thank the givers for their obedience.
It is so relieving I have a hard time with not feeling guilty or obligated. Imagine God's provision coming through the hand of another individual. Someone who worked hard, or at least took risks to have the extra. Why should I be the beneficiary? How can I not be obligated? How can I not feel inferior to their abilities to create abundance, while I create lack?
I don't understand it, but I am the beneficiary because that is how God set it up. That within the body, one part supports the other so that the whole can be well and operate completely.
Jesus is not a socialist. He is not a capitalist for that matter. He is the head of the Body. He is the brain that dispatches the Body's natural healing process. He coordinates the parts so that the whole is in good working order, as everything belongs to Him.
Be encouraged that if you are part of the body lacking, God's provision is on its way. If you are part of the body with excess, please obey in your giving because there is a part of the body in need.
Matthew 17:8. "And lifting up their eyes, they saw no one except Jesus Himself alone."
God is constantly saying don't look at life, look at Me. He is saying don't look to yourself for the solution, look to Me for the solution.
I almost didn't post today because I have so completely lost focus on Him in the past 24 hours. The external pressure of my financial situation has really come to bear on me. There is a lot of fear and criticism that is being heaped on my shoulders as a result, and so once again I sought to quantify the problem in hopes of finding a simple solution.
Once again I looked at the minimum monthly budget of which there remains a significant shortfall. In my mind there is only one solution. But the solution is not the resolution of the finances. The solution is what will stop the pressure, fear, and criticism most quickly. Forget that it will create a whole other set of issues to deal with.
It is hard to wait on God, I don't care what you say. It's hard to stay in faith to what God speaks softly in your ear while the world you have known is crashing around you.
Thoughts enter your mind when you try to reconcile the tribulation of the world with the joy of the spirit. Thoughts like, "am I just being an ostrich and putting my head in the sand, hoping this will go away. Or is this really faith?" Thoughts of anger turned towards God like, "look what You are doing. In not providing my daily bread you are creating turmoil in my family. You are hurting the ones I love."
I don't know why I have to struggle financially. I don't know why others have to struggle with diseases like cancer. I don't know why some father's rape their children, or why others beat them mercilessly. I don't know why couples split, or why nations starve. I don't know why God is so ever present and moving in every life every day, and yet so much evil exists, and so much pain is endured. I don't know why some have it so easy, or why their life seems so perfect. All I know is what I am going through, and it hurts like hell.
And as I go through this God sends a word to me through T. Austin-Sparks that says, "Keep your eyes outside. Refuse introspection, dwelling upon yourself, your condition, your feelings, your symptoms. Look not for hope in yourself. Seek no virtue in your own heart. Cease to expect any good of yourself, but remember that He is your righteousness, your surety, your acceptance with God, your merit, your Intercessor."
Then He follows it up with this from Oswald Chambers, "Whenever anything begins to disintegrate your life with Jesus Christ, turn to Him at once and ask Him to establish rest. Never allow anything to remain which is making the dis-peace. Take every element of disintegration as something to wrestle against, and not to suffer. Say - Lord, prove Thy consciousness in me, and self-consciousness will go and He will be all in all. Beware of allowing self-consciousness to continue because by slow degrees it will awaken self-pity, and self-pity is Satanic."
In the end it is a very hard thing to un-learn strength. It is in our weakness that He is made strong. But to face that weakness, to bear the cross of Christ in your soul, can be a painful thing at times. Particularly when it is you trying to bear it, rather than allowing Christ in you to do it.
Matthew 10: 29-30, "Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But the very hairs of your head are numbered."
I begin everyday with some prayer and reading. In addition to my bible I will read Jim Spivey's blog, something from T Austin-Sparks, Henri Nouwen Society's daily post, and Oswald Chambers daily post.
This morning I was hit with this first. It is from Henri Nouwen. On Meeting God in the Poor he says, "When we are not afraid to confess our own poverty, we will be able to be with other people in theirs. The Christ who lives in our own poverty recognizes the Christ who lives in other people's. Just as we are inclined to ignore our own poverty, we are inclined to ignore others'. We prefer not to see people who are destitute, we do not like to look at people who are deformed or disabled, we avoid talking about people's pains and sorrows, we stay away from brokenness, helplessness, and neediness."
I immediately followed it up with a random selection from T Austin-Sparks and this is what I read. "What then is our ministry? We did not set out with this as a full-orbed vision at the first. The Lord just wrought in us a deep and terrible sense of spiritual need and dissatisfaction, and created an intense longing for something altogether fuller than we could find. Then He led us by way of such exercise, and its resultant quest in prayer through deep experiences, which made possible and fruitful the unfolding of His fuller thoughts, intents, and ways for us, and for all who would ''go on'' to His full end. This has gone on through many years, and every bit of new living light has come out of a deepening suffering and cost. So that nothing is just theory; it is experimental. Thus there has steadily grown this sense of Divine purpose and concern that the people of God should come to ''the fullness of Christ.'' ''Each several part'' in its ''due measure,'' and the whole ''Body'' to the ''stature of the fullness. '' Every practical issue has to be a personal matter between those concerned and the Lord."
I enjoyed the reading, but that is all it was... enjoyment. It was not fodder for my prayers, however upon looking back and seeing in the mirror dimly; it was foretelling of just exactly God had in mind.
I was expecting a normal day with two appointments to run for my new job. The first appointment was a bust, and between appointments I needed to get to back to my first client from the day before, and have him initial the contract in a couple of places that I missed. I arrived at his front gate and called. He was not there, but down the street a ways at a cell phone store. I agreed to meet him there where he signed the papers. Nothing special so far.
Leaving I headed to my second appointment. As I was approaching an intersection there was a man holding a sign that said, "Unemployed - 2 kids - PLEASE Help - God Bless." Immediately I knew what I had to do. I gave the man my lunch money and told him God bless. That may not sound like much, but please understand. I have no money in my bank account, I have no credit available to me. And those few dollars had been provided to me by God for lunch. So I literally gave this man my last dollar. No sooner had I done this and my stomach started rumbling. No sooner do I give away my lunch money, and I can't help but notice that Houston has more Mexican restaurants than gas stations.
My next appointment was a no show, but from here I was headed to a very good friend's mother's funeral. She was a lovely, godly woman who survived and thrived. Fifty some odd years of marriage alone will be a great crown of glory for her in heaven. Arriving and hugging my friend I shared his sorrow and loss. His tears were my tears. His mom was truly his best friend, and she will be missed up until the day they reunite in heaven.
So my mind went many different places as the eulogy was given. But mainly it went to the 35 + years I have know my friend and his family. And in those 35 years I was reminded of my life in the same period. Once again began to think of my losses, and what could have been done different. How could I have retained my wealth like the many millionaires attending this funeral?
As the service ended I stopped to talk to a friend of my Dad's who asked me what I was doing. I explained and he shared some more hardships of the economy, but said he would keep his eyes peeled for me for a better job. I didn't ask for that, but thought it was nice.
Now this is where God put the whole day together. As I got in my truck the Holy Spirit asked, "Would you do it again?" The "it" that He was referring to was me riding my business to the bottom of the ocean. You see up until today I have always criticized myself for not shutting the business down a year earlier. I considered myself so stupid for thinking I had any responsibility to the employees. I believed an ex-father-in-law who was openly critical and a perfect arm chair quarterback. I thought that perhaps had I closed it a year earlier I could have preserved the last million or two of equity that seventeen years worth of work produced. Instead I rode it to the very end and complete and total personal bankruptcy.
So in the car the Holy Spirit asked, "Would I do it again?" He was asking, Would I obey God again? Would I put someone else above myself? With tears then, and with tears now I say, "I am proud that I obeyed to the best of my ability. I am glad that I felt responsibility for the employees. Yes, I would do it again." For the first time in 10 years I can once again agree with God on the matter. I would do it again.
I understand that I do have responsibility. I have responsibility to obey, because someone is depending on it. That man on the street needed me to obey and give him a few dollars. My 125 employees needed me to stay with the sinking ship until their rescue arrived. Some left early, some stayed until the very end. But my obedience to keep going, to try to save the ship was needed by so many. In my obedience some might see Christ.
Do you see what God did? The day before He allowed me to miss those initials so that I would have to come back the following day. He arranged for the client to be in the path of the unemployed man. He made sure this all happened at the very end of the $70 I had to last me the entire week, so that when I went to the funeral I would be hungry. Only to be reminded of a past I loved, and a decision I hated, so that I could find a place of forgiving myself. And to find the place to ask God to forgive me for doubting Him.
I cannot write the power, and love, and joy this presence of God is creating in me. For Henri Nouwen, today I confessed my poverty, allowing me to see the poverty in others. Like T Austin-Sparks... "this is not theory." This is me experiencing God Almighty.
Matthew 14:23, "After He had sent the crowds away, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray; and when it was evening, He was there alone."
Henry Nouwen has quite a lot to say about solitude, particularly in it's importance to our relationship to God and to "discover how dependent we are. Without the many distractions of our daily lives, we feel anxious and tense..." He continues by saying, "Our tendency is to leave the fearful solitude quickly and get busy again to reassure ourselves that we are somebodies."
I can't empathize with leaving solitude to be somebody, but I certainly can empathize with leaving the solitude to try to fix the very thing that drove me there in the first place.
Today I got a new appreciation for the solitude, and its purpose as a place beyond un-distracted pure devotion to God. I didn't go there by choice per se, but I certainly found myself there in my truck driving the streets of Houston from appointment to appointment.
On auto pilot I went from place to place, no music playing, no distractions other that the traffic I paid no attention to. I found myself alone with my thoughts and feelings. Feelings, emotions, that over the past couple of days had come to dominate my thinking. I had left the peaceful joy of my spirit to embrace the deteriorating emotions of the moment. Depression, disappointment, discouragement... all the d-words crashed against my souls like the waves of a storm. Add to those some i-words like inadequate, and ignorant and you can get the impression of where my thoughts were. But in the solitude I got the opportunity to face these emotions and the thoughts associated with them. I have said that emotional pain is not something to be ignored, but embraced. And today I was able to practice that very thing... embracing the pain.
I had to get to a place to disengage the day, and to focus on God. To restore my focus and get back to that joy found only in the Spirit I had to first grab hold of the emotions. Up to this point I was making excuses, I was planning an exit from the pain. I was not owning the feelings, but blaming lack for them. I was blaming the environment if you will. It was not my fault, so I must find the fault and cure it.
I knew that I was operating on emotion, and I also knew I needed to return to that place of "walking by the spirit." To get there I had to first grab the emotion. I did that by taking ownership of it. Yes, I was depressed. Admitting it to myself somehow stopped the panic. It did not ease the pain, but it changed the focus. Kind of like being trapped in a room with a rattlesnake. There's nowhere to run, so you had better admit the snake is in the room so you can deal with it.
Next I examined the emotions. Why do I feel this way? And sure I had my reasons... everyone of those reasons was a lie. Lies like this new job is not going to meet my needs, so and so is disappointed, my wife is going to think I'm inadequate... lots of perceived reasons.
But I had to compare those emotions and their reasons to where I left the Spirit. God guided me to the new job, so He must have known 3 out of 5 appointments would cancel. He just didn't let me in on that detail.
Short version is as I compared the reasons for the emotions with what the Holy Spirit was saying I found out what I already knew. The emotions are the liars. The waves are not going to kill me. The boat is not going to capsize. In fact, I am not drowning, but in fact this is just a little midst, not even a storm at all. To go further, God knew it all before He sent me here.
And with that, I was back in the joy of the Holy Spirit. Emotion and thoughts are brought back into subjection to the spirit of God.
For me, I need that time to disengage. I need solitude to wrestle the emotions and feelings before anything else is to happen. This time may be minutes, but more often hours, and sometimes days. But it is a solitude that is spent in the arms of God, allowing Him to watch me wrestle with myself a little while before pointing out the obviously with His unbending truth.
Don't be afraid of solitude. It is not a place of loneliness or boredom. It is a place of being the Father's Child, The Savior's sibling, and The Holy Spirit's vessel. Go there, and go often. As it is the short cut to freedom.
Oswald Chambers says it this way, "Anything that disturbs rest in Him must be cured at once, and it is not cured by being ignored, but by coming to Jesus Christ. If we come to Him and ask Him to produce Christ-consciousness, He will always do it until we learn to abide in Him." I say coming to Christ in solitude.
Matthew 12:50, "For whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he is My brother and sister and mother."
In my travels I have come to a question more than once in the past few days. It is the question of, "What does God want me to do?" To be frank, it is a question I ask myself daily. But the circumstances I am hearing it from others is from the perspective of individuals searching for that purpose, activity, or job they should be doing while remaining in relationship to God.
Universally when I hear people openly searching for God in this manner I will always respond, "What is God telling you to do?"
What has prompted this post now is that more than once in a couple of days the people have said God responded with, "What do you want to do?" And like me in the past, they are interpreting that response as do whatever you would like, and God will go with you. When they say that I cannot help but laugh because I have been there, and I understand God has asked a trick question.
In 2002 faced with the demise of a life's work I went to God with the very same question. What do you want me to do? And got the very same question in response. God said, "What do you want to do?"
Why did I interpret that as Him giving me permission to be a creator? I even argued with friends and leaders about being created in His image, an image that creates. I argued that God want's children, not slaves. That all children are allowed at some point to be of society and to contribute with their creativity. I argued that we are given talents to use. I argued about the permissive will of God v. the specific will of God. And I argued that because we cannot hear or see clearly, that we have to move regardless of the command of God. All of this. All of these arguments for me were a 9+ year waste of time. None of these were the answer God was looking for when He asked, "What do you want to do?"
I am not here saying this is for everyone, because many never come to the question. But if you have asked God what do I do? Or asked it in any other form, and the response from heaven has been, What do you want to do? Let me give you the answer. The answer to what do you want to do is ALWAYS... the will of the Father.
"I want to do Your will." I want to do whatever You want me to do. I have no will of my own, You command me. That is the answer! All other answers are the long road to surrender. All other answers are direct confrontation to your abilities and the inadequacy they represent. To answer any other way is to prolong discovering the real answer of God's will and only God's will.
James 4: 13&15 "Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.'...Instead you ought to say, 'IF THE LORD WILLS, we will live and also do this or that."
So you give the answer God wants to hear and what happens? Nothing. Nothing is very likely the next thing you are going to hear. For me at least, the path to obedience began with rest. It began with doing nothing at all. I had to unlearn doing. I had to unlearn my plans, my abilities, my talents, and I unlearned them by completely yielding to God, and Him saying do nothing but trust Me. I still am unlearning daily, particularly trying to unlearn predicting the results, because with God results never seem predictable.
If God is saying nothing. Then nothing is what you are supposed to do. Because coupled with: I want to do the will of the Father is also I will do NOTHING without Him. I will do NOTHING apart from His command. Nothing... it's a powerful place with God.
Go ahead strive to hear His voice. Earnestly seek His command, His plan. But remember no response is to simply rest and trust in Him while doing nothing. It is from here that He will begin to command. And from here that you will discover a God like you have never seen before.
Take the mask off, and rest in the emptiness. It is here that surrender is found, and here that Christ will fill you with Himself.
Proverbs 22:6, "Train up a child in the way the should go, Even when he is old he will not depart.
I love this scripture for so many reasons. Largely because it says "even when he is old." It gives hope to the parents with wayward children and prodigal sons; that at some point, even if it takes until they grow old, they will not depart from the path.
But today I saw something for the very first time that I never noticed.
In searching for something from God between appointments I was compelled to call a friend of mine by the name of Prince Couisnard. I have not been to his house in 5 or 6 years and I just wanted to find out what is going on in his ministry to inner city kids. He invited me to his house, and on the surface nothing had changed. Walking in to the smell of pancakes and syrup I was introduced to 7 young men. Only 1 was Prince's. You see Prince has been reaching out to the underprivileged inner city kids of Houston's Third Ward for more than the 10 years I have know him. He and his wife have always had a house full of hungry children, and they have always feed as many as were hungry. Prince has a supernatural love and compassion for these kids. He welcomes them in, gets to know them, disciples them in Christ, teaches them to pray and know God's voice, all with the hopes that they will one day join him in his mission to see as many as he can saved.
So here I am... same ole same ole, Prince is still a prince. It's then that he invites me for the tour. Now mind you I knew the ministry had grown. Prince started out with $600 per month in support. We drove around the corner to the current home of his ministry efforts. A $6 million dollar facility in the heart of poverty. Standing as a capital for Christ in the middle of a gang war zone is The Forge Family Center.
It is there we transferred to a facility van. I asked him why not go in my truck if we going to cruise the neighborhood. He said, "It's not safe for a white dude to ride around where we are going."
Frankly I laughed. At one point in my career I owned rental properties in the area. I'm not afraid.
And so we drove and I saw the original building he ministered out of when I met him 10 years ago. I saw projects where he explained that he has 40 kids from there. I heard stories of how children he has ministered too have been killed on the streets, of the drugs, the gangs... the usual stuff associated with these neighborhoods. And then as we made our way we turned down a street that truly brought fear to me. And Prince is right, I would not drive down it. At a four way stop there are power lines going over all four lanes and dozens of pairs of shoes hang from them. It was the ultimate mark of this is Satan's territory. In the streets were men that you would see on the most violent of TV programs. And these are the men Prince competes with daily for the souls of the youngsters in the neighborhood. I am not afraid to tell you, I actually feared for my life. I did not know these streets existed in Houston, Texas. And that is no bull.
70% of the young men and women The Forge reaches out to do not have a father participating in their life. Many, without the program would drop out of high school. From what I saw The Forge not only gives these children activities like sports. Over 400 participate in their basketball program alone. But they have classes to help re-mediate them. Classes for young adults and parents. Most importantly Prince and the staff get eyeball deep into these people lives so that some might be saved and discipled.
As we drove around I couldn't help but think, "Aren't Prince and his wife doing what the parents should be doing?" It was then the Holy Spirit showed me that the scripture of above does not say "parents" train a child. It just says train them. It is an open invitation to anyone and everyone. An invitation Prince fully embraces to the fullest of possibilities.
The work that Prince and The Forge are doing is worthwhile and regardless of what happens from accountability to old age, it is certain that when they are old, these children touched by this ministry will know the path to be on. They may be coming back to it, but God's word promises that in old age they will not depart.
That said, the ministry takes a lot of money to operate and reach the thousands of poverty stricken people they do. The facilities are paid for, but operating is always an issue. If you would like to support their ministry please go to www.forgeforfamilies.org and allow God to bless them through you.
2 Corinthians 11:30, "If I boast, I will boast of what pertains to my weakness."
This blog from day one, mostly without intention, has been about this concept of surrender. To die daily with Christ. To take up His cross daily. All synonymous with one another and different in expression so that we being different in makeup, education, influence, etc can understand.
Surrender in so many ways involves understanding the weakness of humanity and self. To surrender one has to come to the end of their abilities, understanding, strengths, knowledge... virtually everything. But one thing that is very important to understand is that surrender is not resignation.
Resignation is to quit. Surrender is to lay it down. Resignation is to loose, surrender is to understand that victory is not possible with human ability, thoughts, or plans. Resignation is to abandon hope, surrender is to put all hope in Christ. Resignation is to believe that what ever will be will be, surrender is to rest in the fact that God is in control working everything to the good for those who love Him.
So there is a stark difference in life beating you, and bringing you to a place of utter defeat where you resign to give up and abandon even the hope of God, and surrender where life proves to you that you cannot do anything apart from Christ and the will of God. They look very very similar, but are markedly different.
Surrender is perhaps part of, if not sanctification in its entirety. And surrender leads to a resurrection, whereas resignation leads to nothing at all.
In surrender we lay down all assets. Assets being not only possessions and finances; but talents and intellectual, physical, and emotional assets as well. All laid at the feet of Christ TO NOT BE USED outside of obedience. Its a hard thing to start, but once you practice a while it gets easier and easier. But initially it is very hard to know that you can do something to effect change in a situation, but to do nothing in the absence of direction of God is true obedience. To do nothing in the absence of DIRECT direction from God is surrender.
All that said, this laying down of everything is the acknowledgment of our weakness. We do not have to take our talents into life, and suffer loss after loss in order to understand we are weak without God. We are weak. Fight as you might in your abilities and discover the weakness firsthand, or do like Moses and acknowledge it straight up front. Like Moses I want to come to the place where I can say if God will not go with me I will not go. I am weak, and unless He goes, it is all pointless.
1 John 4:12, "No one has seen God at any time; if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us."
No sooner had I listened Laura Shook minister the above scripture this morning in church, and the opportunity to live it out pops up at Luby's of all places. (For those not from the southern part of the US, Luby's is a cafeteria)
God works in the craziest of ways. My family and I were having lunch after church at Luby's of all places, and I just happened to notice the young lady cleaning tables, and fetching everyone refills on their drinks. My thoughts were what great service, but why is she working here? Why is the manager talking to her? Does he realize how hard she works?
So as she came to clear the empty plate of my 3000 calorie lunch I scarfed down, I just wanted to complement her, and let her know I see how hard she works.
It is not like I was all pious, and in the restaurant ask asking, 'Oh Lord, show us thy child in need of Your love, or something stupid like that.' On the contrary, just acted on the unconscious, or perhaps spirit conscious compulsion to compliment her.
So I did... I called her by the name on her tag, and complimented her work. Her name is Holly by the way.
Her reply let us know that she works for $2.13/hour. I had no idea those ladies who work so hard in Luby's dining room are paid waitress minimum wage and rely on tips. So lesson number one - If you eat at Luby's leave a tip on the table.
Moving on... I asked, "Why do you work here then? Your service is incredible. Why not work somewhere else where tips are customary, and you can make more?"
She replied, "When I was 19 years old I was hit my a drunk driver in a car accident that broke my neck in 3 places. My neck and back are held together with titanium rods. I have to be very careful where I work." I agree, she has every right to be cautious with where she works. Particularly since I also learned she is a single mother of two.
I didn't go much further than that. My daughter said she wished she had a thousand dollars to tip her. We, for the first time in Luby's, tipped all we could. Some could add up the dollars and cents and say it is insignificant in the grand scheme of things. There are a lot of interpretations and speculation about the results of our act of love.
But what is indisputable is that we acted in love on behalf of Christ and Him living through us.
Whether she sees it, or you see it... God knows its true.
Go and love someone for no other reason than Christ compels you to. Love someone without agenda, without an opportunity for repayment. Love someone on the peripheralof your life, loving someone close is too easy for this assignment.
Proverbs 27:17, "Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
